Need rec's for my daughter PLZ HELP (a parody thread)
 

Hi ya'll! My name is TopTierMama and I am so excited for my daughters recruitment I can barely handle it!

She is a senior in High School right now but next year she will be attending a very Prestigious university with a super competitive Greek program! LOL! I don't want to give away to much info because I know thats a faux pass on these boards so I will just say it's the only university in the SEC with exactly 15.27 sororities on campus ;) Its ok though because we are only interested in THREE of the chapters (the best ones!) Alpha Alpha Awesome, Epsilon Elite, and Gamma Gamma Goodrep, the rest of them are "lower-tier" and frankly not suitable for my daughter, LOL! I know we are not supposed to "name names" but I figure it's not like anyone at Southern U. uses the internet right?!?!

ANyway so in case you were wondering about my daughter, her name rhymes with Weshul Woflake (;) if you figure out what it is don't tell but you can PM me!!) and she often gets strangers coming up to her and asking if she is Heidi Klum!! Well, she will once we die her hair blonde. I heard from my cousin's neighbor's pastor's wife that AAAwesome has a strict quota for brunetts and we are not taking any chance's! Weshul is super super smart and makes mostly A's in high school and she is also really involved, she went to like 3 student council meetings this year. I know I am just a proud Mama but I can honestly say I can't picture a better candedate for a sorority!!!

Anyway I am posting here because we need rec's for the top 3 chapters, we figure if she has at least 10 rec's per chapter she will be set!!! So if you are reading this and are an alum of AAAwesome, EE, or GGG please PM me so I can send you our info so you can rec' her! If you are a member of any of SOuthern U's other chapters sorry but we are not interested at this time, thank you in advance everyone!!!!!!

good one!

Okay, I know this is a joke so yeah....I'm not even going to dignify this with a decent reply.

^^^ It does say "a parody thread" in the title...

:D

As an AAAwesome alumna, I need a picture of your daughter, full length with no makeup, please. No glamour shots. Get me her resume now. I just don't know if she'll meet our standards for super special, pretty pretty princess PNMs. Mostly A's? How many B's? Any C's? We don't take C students. The horror! We don't take just anybody. Who do you know? Trolling for recs on GC suggests you don't know anyone. Tsk, tsk. We only like to take well connected PPPPs. I may make an exception is she is truly special. ;) LOL.

Weshul Woflake killed me. Killed me.

You're trolling for recs kind of late if you want those groups to even consider you for recruitment in Fall 2013. The creme de la creme had theirs handed in 2 months ago.

I'll write you an Elite Epsilon rec...if you meet the standards. 5'9"+, less than 109 lbs, at least shoulder length hair. We circle the fat, so I'm serious about the standards! No 110 fatties! The catsuits are horrible on anything less than perfection!

I'd like to off Weshul the services of my professional recruitment prep and consultation service, Rush Chickies, Inc. All for a fee, of course.

You amazons! We prefer the 5'2" 70 lb girls with fine features. Forget fat circling... We've got the calipers! ;)

You know, I'm an alum of Pi Pi PrettyGood, and I really think you should consider getting recs to ALL the chapters. I know that PPP mostly mixes with Okay Omega, but they are definitely gonna get something this fall with Alpha Alright, and at least they never do stuff with Beta Beta Betterthannothing.

LOL. I'm sure XiDelt and her Rush Chickies can help you get a bid to PPP.

Oh shoot! Time to get out my bribin' purse!

Thanks but according to a website I found PPP is just a "pretty good" sorority and some of the girls are "average looking" so it's not what we're looking for for little Weshul!!

Thanks to all ya'll lovely ladies who offered to help us out!!! Can't wait till I have that Alpha Alpha Awesome Mom shirt to wear every single day! LOL!

And the mom pin!

HA. This part was too funny.

You know that if your daughter joins, you could always be initiated too!

Well, bless your heart!

IIM, are you affiliated with a sorority? If not, you should seriously latch on to your daughter and shoot for AI!!!!!

If you have not already started shopping for Special's Rush Trousseau, it may already be too late.

That said, I know where you can get a deal on some sequin pantyhose.

Also, if she doesn't get invited back to the top three this year, have her drop out in dramatic fashion, bad mouth all the places she got back on her invitations, and she can try again next year -because we all know it was a computer glitch. Obvi!

You know her name? I thought it just rhymed with weshul, but I hadn't figured out the name! Way to out her.

I'm a 4-star, or 4-A woman myself -- a proud Alpha Alpha Awesome Alum! I'm from another chapter than the one at your daughter's intended school, but we're awesome everywhere because our national reputation is awesome.

MY chapter never, not once, circled fat! Seriously? We just had pledges strip naked and line up before brothers from the TOP TIER fraternity, who rated them 1 to 10. Of course, nobody ever got less than a 10. I am not sure what we would have done if they had. Our by-laws stated that we couldn't accept anyone less than an 8.8...and those gals could only work in the kitchen during recruitment. Oh, I'm rambling...it simply never came up in our chapter because we were awesome.

PM me with your daughter's info and the results of her most recent photo shoot. (I assume she DOES have a port-folio of her awesomeness self? If not, get on that -- it matters more than recs!!!!)

(In all seriousness, I have been contacted by the mothers of PNMs seeking recs -- all have been kind, gracious, deeply appreciative and just wanting their girls to have a positive experience. I am just playing along because I know these over-the-tops really are out there! I have a neighbor who was pretty close to being one. :) )

OMG I know what school this is and she has no chance at Alpha Alpha Awesome unless you got her that secret Alpha Alpha Awesome tattoo as she came out of the birth canal. She also had to be a Junior League provisional with an iPad Mini before she could walk. Maybe it isn't too late to gather letters for MuMuMeh.

You are so mistaken...JLs don't do iPad minis. :p

They do in the competitive ones!

I have one question and one question only. Does she have that "thing" that makes her special?

You crack me up!

Fixed your post for you. ;)

The Epsilon Elites are NOT top tier. I know. I dated one and she had the gall to break up with me after I threw up in the middle of the dance floor at their Spring formal. They are all skanks. Trust me.

Wow...

ExsquEEze me? It's not our fault if you can't handle the koolaide. It's issued standard from our HQ and mandatory to be served at all EE events.

And, remember, you can't spell quEEn bEE without EE!

Well, My Pretty Princess is going to the same school, I am sure.... I just want to know which group has the highest # of engagement candle lights because my Pretty is going to major in MRS.

You win.

The secret to gettting recs...
 

Having assisted several PNMs with recruitment, I have found a few things that work in getting the best recommendations. With these few things, alumnae will be dropping all over the place, making personal calls for your daughter.

You will want them meet your daughter. Keep in mind, Lilly Pulitzer is all the rage. So is Botox. And who doesn't like a male stripper? Or two or three or more? Hell, you can't have too many of those!

So, you will want to invite all the sorority alumnae in your area to your home for a little get together. Serve fancy schmancy cucumber sandwiches. Oh, but, don't forget the biggest cucumbers...the entertainment; male strippers wearing Lily Pulitzer G-strings. Top it all off with a little, okay a lot of bubbly, champagne, and my personal favorite blow-job shots!

As they leave, they can stop by the Botox Booth so they won't get wrinkles from all the smiles they will have from meeting your daughter and your event.

Guaranteed to work. You just can't go wrong!

My BFFs daughter, you know the one with the 2.0 gpa and 4.0DDD bra; just got a bid from Sigma Supers, thanks to this!
And she owes it all to me!

She needs to find someone to sell her the rituals of Alpha Alpha Awesome, EE, and GGG. Then when she goes to the parties, she can recite pieces of their rituals to them. They'll be so impressed! : )

:eek::eek::eek: (pearls clutched)
I think you win!

Hee, hee...indeed. Hopefully no one has a heart attack!

Done.