Cash or Card
 

I was in Louis Vuitton on a lunch break and while I was chatting with one of the employee's a man came up to the register and announced that he was here to pick an order that was shipped in from France.

His total was pretty heavy...$2100 but the total wasn't what got me. He paid the whole thing in cash.

Now call me stuck up but does anyone else find that to be tacky? I can't put my finger on WHY I think that but all I know is that if someone was buying something for me in a boutique I would be quite embarrassed if they popped out with a fist full on hundreds.

Comments?

As long as the merchandise is AUTHENTIC, NOT stolen, and I didn't have to pay for it, I wouldn't have any problems.

Would you have found it tacky if he paid by check?



Personally, I'm not a big credit card person. I try to use them only for reserving hotel rooms, and renting cars.

My reasoning for this is that I hate to be paying months down the line for something I've already used. It trips me out to see people paying for groceries or gas with a credit card. I'm thinking, "Do you realize you're paying interest charges on food you've already eaten/ or gas that you've already driven out of your car three weeks ago?"

Caiche or credit doesn't really matter to me.
But I see where you're coming from, Poplife.
This may be a reach, but I've read accounts of drug dealers paying for luxury goods in cash so there would be no trail, so to speak.

No.
 

I wouldn't find it tacky, it was a Louis Vuitton store. I really wouldn't expect anything else. Now if he was in Target with that much cash that would be a different story.

Hey, anything but cash. He just looked terrible flipping through all that money. It was like something out of one of those terrible 1970's pimp movies. All he need was a trashy looking female to stand next to him and the scene would have been set.

I don't LOVE credit cards but I use them often because I want to build my credit history. People often get rejected for car and home loans because they don't have any credit history. It's as debilitating as having poor credit history. Some jobs check your credit history to see if you are reliable. But you only pay interest when you are overdue. I have not been charged interest since I first got my card because I always pay my bill in full and on time.

I like to see a printout of how I spent EVERY DIME. When I have a lot of cash I can never remember what I bought and how much I spent. It also helps when I am overseas so I don't get caught up in the exchange rate mess. I find now that I use my credit and my debit card all the time I spend less.

Besides, walking around with more that $40 in my purse makes me feel funny. My girlfriend lost her purse in the mall once and she was crying because all of her Christmas shopping money was in her bag. I thought to myself "Man if that was me all I'd have to do was cancel my credit and debit card." I might cry about the loss of a good bag though. :D

No, it's true. They do. ;)

That is a little bit tacky. I generally try not to use my credit cards for big purchases, but I also don't walk around with a wad of cash either. I use my Visa Check Card faithfully. In fact, the poor thing is getting so worn out that you can't even see my signature anymore. That way, everything comes directly from my checking account.

Personally I don't feel that was tacky. If I can walk up into a store and pay cash for something then i know that it was GOD who gave me the ability to do so. I'm not complaining or even judging the man. I'm sorry but I don't believe it is tacky to have that much money when you have a purpose for it. I'm not going to just walk around the street just because with that much money...it's called wisdom. But I see no problem with what that customer did.

Yeah...that does shade me out. I know that for my personal coverage, I make big purchases w/ the CC because I can often get insurance on the goods in case of damage/loss/theft. For something that expensive, I'd CC it just to cover myself.

Oh yeah...not all plastic will garner you a huge interest charge. American Express charge (NOT credit) cards charge no interest, but you have to pay the bill in its entirety each month. That just shades me out, reminds me of drug dealers (or people who carry around stacks of ones in an attempt to look as if they're slinging a wad).:eek:

I don't see anything wrong with it. It's his money--if he wanted to pay by cash, check, credit card , money order, whatever, then he can. Who cares what the world thinks.

I personally prefer to pay with CASH OR CHECK because I don't like credit cards.

I wouldn't be embarrassed. I have no time to sit and worry about what "The Joneses" think about me because I don't do things the same way that they do.

I do have to agree with CkretCrush--I wouldn't walk around with that much $$ on my person.

Just my opinion.

Ditto.

Personally, if the man was buying it for me, and I was there with him, I would prefer that he pay by check or credit. When a black man pays for something expensive with cash, people usually assume that he is employed in some illegal profession.

I almost always pay for things by check or credit. I am notorious for never having any cash. I hate going to the MAC machine to take out money because it's usually one for another bank and then I have to pay all of those fees. Or, if I do go, I'll only get as much as I need right then and there. I rarely withdraw more than $20.

When I shop, I try to pay by check instead of credit. I like to pay for things right up front instead of some weeks down the line. If I'm in a rush, I'll use my card because some cashiers do not even know what to do with the check once I give it to them.

Soror, I just had to get a new Visa Check Card because mine got demagnetized from heavy use.
But at least I got an "upgrade" to gold, LOL.
;)

You'd be surprised how differently men feel about carrying a lot of cash around than women so a man paying $2K-3K in cash in a boutique isn't surprising. Personally, I wouldn't charge something like that because you are just asking to be "stalked" by telemarketers and credit card companies. I find check cards tacky - it's like you want the convenience of a credit card without having real credit. As for the "insurance" from credit cards, it isn't really insurance - you'd be better off just taking a picture of it and keeping it with other papers it would be covered under your homeowners (or renters) insurance if something happened to it.

What's tacky about a check card?:confused: It is possible to have a check card and credit cards. I do. However, I use my my check card a heck of a lot more. It's just more convient than writing a check. Afterall, the money is coming from the same place. The only time I write checks these days is for paying bills.

I was thinking the same thing. In fact, I used my debit card yesterday on the train. It was only $10. Why pay a $2.00 ATM fee when all you want is a $10 train card? Like AKAtude, I have a debit and credit card. My poor debot card has been swiped so much you can't read half the numbers....*lol*

I rarely write checks anymore, either. I pay my cell phone and credit card bill online most of the time.

Well, even though some don't like to admit it, what the world thinks can be very important. Lots of our men are in jail based on what people think them to be, not for what they are. We get job offers/rejections, school acceptances, and even mates based on what people think. Image is important. Just looks at the numerous "Greek Publicity/Stereotypes/Image" talks on this website.

I am aware of the idea of "The Jones's," but this not quite the same. Shoot, if anyone here says and does exactly what she feels without much regard it's me. Anyone who truly knows my mind (or my posts for that matter) knows that. :cool:

I just see it as a sign that the social gap between blacks is truly getting bigger. I have often heard people talk about it but as I get out into the world more, I'm really starting to see it. It's not about keeping up with your neighbor, rather it is gaining more social graces, which can make or break you at certain times.

I like to sit in Vuitton after work and talk to the employees (since it's next door to my job) and I often observe some of our people shopping. It's just amazing how we, as a people, tend to perceive the world and how that perception affects us as a whole. And it's strange how I can observe much of that without leaving my work complex. I could give you a million instances from my retail days but I digress.

I think the man had a right to pay for it in the manner that he saw fit. However, there is an unspoken protocol in most situations, including retail. Most people generally don't pay for large ticket items in cash. When I worked summer jobs in retail, we were always told to be especially suspicious of counterfeit bills if people paid more than $500 in cash.

Personally, I don't like to carry a lot of cash with me period. I'm proned to spend more and less likely to keep track of it. Moreover, I'm afraid of losing it. However, like others have said I swear by my debit card. It's so convenient , I also use credit cards and pay them off monthly. I usually only use cash for small purchases, under $50.

If that person had that type of cream to pay for his item, there is nothing wrong with that. I don't know the specifics of his situation, but he could have went to the bank and got money out for that specific purpose (of course he could have also gotten a cashier's check). It is also possible that he did not have a single credit card to his name (highly unlikely in this day).

Or he could be like a man that I know who is old school to the max. This man has never had a credit card. He only pays for stuff in cash. He does not write checks or anything like that. He's a cash and carry operator.

It sounds like this person is a cash and carry operator also.

Six_Three_Sigma

*swoosh, swoosh!*
 

You betta believe I am the queen of swiping a debit card, no matter what the situation. Maybe I'm just a little paranoid, but I would cry if I lost even $50. That's my hard earned cash that cannot be traced anywhere! I use my debit card at the gas pump (pump and pay is the best thing since sliced bread!), to buy coffee, at Rich's, and even to pay my cell phone bill over the phone! I love whipping out my bank register to record the transaction, and I can call the bank's automated line to keep track of my money. Don'tcha love technology?

I write checks for tithes and offerings, bills, and documentation of repaying borrowed money from a friend. You will not find me on Judge Mathis one day arguing over a loan repaid in cash! :eek:

At any rate, large amounts of cash aren't tacky if that's just your way. Now, it does look like you're trying to validate yourself if you whip out 6 $100 bills just to pay a $21.34 total at Kroger.

Be blessed!

jojapeach

Re: *swoosh, swoosh!*
 

That's the truth!:D

WHAT?
 

I can't imagine why this would bother anyone how this man paid for his item. The cash was not counterfiet, now that would be embarrassing. I think we spend far too much time worrying about others.

Re: WHAT?
 

On the contrary, we don't worry enough. That's why Blacks in America are in their present sate. We are so focused on ourselves as individuals we don't think about how we as a people are doing.

Re: Re: WHAT?
 

But should we or YOU really care about how the man was paying for his purchase? At first the whole thing came off kinda snobbish but then I said "no, Pop can't be like that" but if this man special ordered something and paid for it in cash , more power to him. IF I had that type of cash, no, I wouldn't walk around with it in my pocket, but that's me. If he chose to do it then he must have felt comfortable.

Re: Re: Re: WHAT?
 

I care because whether you want to admit it or not, when one black person does something the rest following have to suffer. A black man in raggedy clothes pays $2,000 with rumpled bills which he pulled out of his coat pockets, pants pockets, and wallet. He looked like a damn drug dealer and I feel sorry for the black man who comes in after him.

I worked retail for a long time. I know how they operate. They probably called all the boutiques within a 50 mile radius warning them of a 'suspicious black male' who pays in cash. And believe me, even a classy place like Louis will do that. As nice as a sales person might be, they do NOT want us shopping in their stores. A friend of mine works security for Lord and Taylor and told me she has actually been instructed to watch all minorities, especially blacks. A Nordstrom in Virginia considered removing the entire Ralph Lauren collection because it 'attracted unsavory people' aka BLACKS! And the reason for all this BS is the few blacks who don't understand how tacky and ghetto some of their habits are.

Snobbish is really in the eye of the beholder. Some people would call me "polished and refined". Shoot, the AKA's and Delta's at my school are called snobby all the time. But others say that they have grace and dignity. It's the same with Jack and Jill, the Links, and the Boule.

As bad as this sounds, I think blacks just need one big lesson on basic social graces. We are so quick to get mad when someone says something like I did. Did you know that one of the biggest problem with inexperienced black business people is their social skills? They are smart, well-educated, and even well worded, but many of them don't know how to eat at a business luncheon, use polite humor to relax their potential benefactors, or PAY FOR THE MEAL. Did you know that some business men have been denied deals because the other men didn't like the way his WIFE acted (true story). Hilary Clinton was threatened with expulsion by her social club because she was loudly laughing and talking in a room designated for quite dining. And what's worse, she didn't see a reason to be quiet and didn't understand why she was being told to shut-up.

We get treated by the way we present ourselves. The issue is, many of us don't see anything wrong with doing things a certain way even if it's highly inappropriate.

Proverb from my mother: "If you're walking in the woods and see a baby bear don't laugh at its size, because where a there is a baby there is always a mother." In layman's term, do not dismiss small things because they seem harmless or meaningless. It might be a warning of a much bigger problem that can easily destroy you.

Re: Re: Re: Re: WHAT?
 

Now you give us specifics.


I agree and my opinion still stands.

As you know retail is an interesting job with many unfair judgments of character. I agree with you on that point. But without the specifics of this guy and what the heck was going on I seriously wouldn't care.

Yes, however...
 

That's just my point. We live in a superficial world. 9 times out of 10 people don't know specifics. We base everything on what we see. When a hideous guy with gold teeth tries to hit on you do you really take the time to get the specifics about his character or do you get up, leave, then laugh about it? We are often judged by how we appear and we should act and look accordingly when possible (sometimes you can't help certain things).

I really hope no one tries to dispute the last sentence in this post considering there have been numerous discussions about protocol when it comes to AKA and other organizations.

With that being said, can we step off our soapbox that we often love to jump on?

Re: Re: Re: Re: WHAT?
 

Ok, I have serious issues with this. Blacks need one big lesson on basic social graces as determined by WHOM? I have no desire to learn how to act, shuck, or jive for my White counterparts. Nor do I have the desire to carry checks or credit cards based on their PERCEPTIONS (based in racism) of Blacks carrying cash. THAT IS THEIR PROBLEM. So because white people will think that a Black man carrying cash is a drug dealer, he shouldn't carry cash? Gimme a break. Money is green, and it all spends. While I realize that this is a White man's world, I still have no desire to conform to how they THINK I should act at the dinner table and in the store. If I go into a store and get turned away based on the actions of the Black woman who went before me, that is not a store I want to spend my money in anyway. Who deems what is appropriate and what is not?

Threatened with expulsion from her SOCIAL CLUB???? Oh my goodness, keep your shirts on, Hilary might not be able to socialize anymore!!! Oh no, the TRAGEDY!!! Why would you want to hang around with people who will expel you from an organization because you laughed too loud in the dining area?? Yeah, those are exactly the people that I wish to rub elbows with. :rolleyes:

When are we going to stop trying to conform and fit into their world. IT WASN'T MEANT FOR US! PERIOD! So why take a CLASS on social graces to fit into a world that wasn't meant for you? NEWSFLASH: It doesn't make a difference how poised you are, how classy you are, how articulate you are, how intelligent you are, you will STILL be judged by the color of your skin. So have fun in your social graces classes, I, for one, would not be in attendance.

All this because a man paid for his purchase in cash? You say tomato, I say tomato. You don't like it, you don't have to do it. However, don't press your issues of how we are perceived by society on everyone and say that we all need to take classes in social graces. Gimme a break.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: WHAT?
 

Exactly, we can't be know one but who GOD called us to be. We are special in our own rights. When we realize who we are in ourselves, we won't conform to what "society" says that we should be, but we will transform into the person we were called to be. Besides, the way you act in a social setting all stems from how you were raised.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: WHAT?
 

I agree wholeheartedly with you, Ideal08 (as usual ;) ). This is exactly what I think. I believe one (of any race) should always behave in some sort of an "appropriate" manner but it doesn't have to be to the standards of society (white people). As my boyfriend and I say (and unfortunately we're both in Corporate America), Black people are so conditioned to believe that we have to act like, think like, believe like white people and coordinate our dreams to fit the standards of white people in order to be deemed successful, in good social standings, etc.

Below is an e-mail that I sent in response to Frank Ski (a DJ on V103 in Atlanta). He was doing a show on social etiquette and how Blacks don't have it, so to speak. His reply to my first e-mail was basically, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do". Below is my response to him (and I think it is fitting for this thread as well).
And I am not directing this to anyone in particularly in this thread. Just expressing my general opinion.

'Well, while I agree with you that people should display some evidence of social etiquette, I do not agree in following all of white people's rules concerning it, which is what I believe you were or are doing. My grandmother would probably agree with you but then she is the same person who told me that I would have to play white people's games at work and in other areas of life in order to make things smooth. So like you, she was conditioned to believe that we cannot be who we really are in the presence of whites while still respecting them and others. It is that slave mentality that makes you, my grandmother and others believe that the natural ways or feelings of black people should not be exhibited in public. You know the phrase, "don't show your color". However as I have grown on my own, I have realized that you can maintain a level of social etiquette without losing yourself. This means that I am not going to perform (like some clown or entertainer) to the levels of whites or as you call them "Romans". Maybe you should start to question why you believe or do some of the things that you do and you just might find out that those are not your true feelings or beliefs and more so something you were "conditioned" to believe. I do not want you to think that I do not believe one should exhibit social etiquette because I do. I was raised right. But do not do things to the point of feeling uncomfortable just to fit in. When I was in college many people told me about certain rules of eating on recruiting and corporate dinners. Now, some of them are common sense table manners rules, however some are just ignorant and pointless. And it is funny because when I would be on recruiting dinners with black people they would be very loose and free in front of me yet still display good table manners. However, when we would be in the presence of whites they would become completely different. That, to me, sends the message that they do not believe they can be who they truly are in the presence of whites. I'll leave you with this, it's good to be aware of how Romans act, but keep in mind that you are not and never will be Roman. So when in Rome, act as you would in the presence of any other people but not as if you wish to be Roman.'

YES!!!!
 

DSTLove, that was on POINT!!!!!! Two thumbs up, two thumbs up!!!

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: WHAT?
 

DSTLove girl, your post was potent, to say the least. You are exactly correct. You have also managed to widen the issue a bit... This thread reaches a bit deeper into our community than just the way we practice/perform our social skills.

Blacks in America are the only ones who can/do validate the assumption made by the general populous that we are socially "inept"... Unfortunately, the more we play into that the more we lose ourselves in the labyrinth of conditions and qualifications set by people who are nothing like ourselves. Our culture as Americans is so ill-defined because of our own lack of public backbone. Many of us have not learned to be ourselves in the presence of our diverse counterparts. The only clue we should take from "them" @ this point in our history is this: WE SHOULD SET and MAINTAIN OUR OWN STANDARDS. Don't bend and shift with the whims of others. Being yourself is what rewards you with the most gratifying forms of "respect."

There are some very valid and applicable rules of etiquette which, traditionally, derive from "white" society... DST Love commented on the rules of dining etiquette, for example. As she stated, there are ways to accomodate the "Romans" without losing yourself. But hey, once you become comfortable with yourself that's not tough to do. And it can be done with grace.
I am gonna hafta work that one into my Cliche' Comeback Library... I agree with you, Ideal, and 'Quiz as well. Wholeheartedly.

Well, you can always go to the next corner and listen to somebody else...

Having said that, I'm going to enjoy my Christmas in New York City where I will carry no more than $50 cash. :D

PEACE.

I prefer to pay using cash or check. Its easier to keep myself out of trouble if I dont spend anything I dont have!

Unfortunately these are the times we live in....
 

Ideal08,

I agree with you 110% Unfortunately we live in a time in which the good 'ol boy rules still apply. Like Poplife said it is sometimes those little things like knowing the proper social etiquette that will give you the type of career advance It may be the difference in you getting a much desired position or it going to someone else. This is all a game...a chess game if you will that Black people have to play if they want to reach a level that far surpasses their parents. We can deny all we want and try to live our lives without knowing these 'rules' or living by them but until we reach the type of power to make the decisions in this world, we unfortunately have to continue the game. And cannot live in this world thinking that we are not perceived or judged based on a stereotype. We need to be our brother's keeper in a sense and help each other understand that this life that we have is a game and understand the 'players' in it.


Lastly, Novella I too agree with you but I believe that those who are fully aware of themselves are also aware of the rules of society's game. But they are so comfortable with themselves that they can take that information and create their set of standards and truly be trendsetters.

Why do you equate having basic manners with being white? Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you part of the same group who had thread after thread talking about prospective who will never get your votes because they:

1. Showed up to rush in ‘club clothes’
2. Chewed and popped gum loudly during the whole event
3. Talked on their cell phones while you are making a speech or
4. Brought their children

But then why I call something tacky all of the sudden, I’m a wanna-be whitewashed elitist. (*lol* And last time I got on my soapbox I was accused of saying everyone with a relaxer wanted to be white and that only real blacks had naptual hair.) Well as you so eloquently put it Ideal08, perhaps they were expected to ‘shuck and jive’ in order to impress you and your sorors enough to vote for them. Or perhaps you expected them to know the basics of which they were not aware. Who do you blame for that? Who are you punishing because of that?

The fact that basic manners are universal still stands. It doesn’t have anything to do with color, class, or what one group thinks. I’m not stupid enough to think that all white people have class and all blacks do not. I never said that. Recently I acquired a job in a white town that makes the Forbes’s list every year. And even though they may have money many of them are white trash. They are nasty to the employee’s, yell loudly when they don’t like something, try and get freebies every time they come in...The list goes on and on. But I don’t care about them. I care about my people. If your parents never told you that in a white dominated society, you have to be better if you want to get by then you missed out on some important information. And I hope that you have learned that we all suffer for what one does. If you don’t mind being cut down because of what someone does before you than you are a nicer person than me.

Quote:

If I go into a store and get turned away based on the actions of the Black woman who went before me, that is not a store I want to spend my money in anyway.

Oh, really? If that were true you would never shop at any major department store. Which retail chains have had racial discrimination charges filed against them in the last year? Do you know? Besides, half the time you are not aware of how you are being watched and followed. Black people enjoy not knowing. We claim we don’t like to be treated like animals, but we are the first people to drop our dollar in stores that do exactly that.

Quote:

Threatened with expulsion from her SOCIAL CLUB???? Oh my goodness, keep your shirts on, Hilary might not be able to socialize anymore!!! Oh no, the TRAGEDY!!! Why would you want to hang around with people who will expel you from an organization because you laughed too loud in the dining area?? Yeah, those are exactly the people that I wish to rub elbows with.

No one was asking you if you liked the people she wanted to deal with. My point was: Don’t join if you don’t like the rules. Blatantly disrespecting the policy of a organization/club that you ASKED to join is TRASHY. Hil obviously didn’t understand that and was dealt with accordingly. Society is the same way.

Quote:

When are we going to stop trying to conform and fit into their world. IT WASN'T MEANT FOR US! PERIOD! So why take a CLASS on social graces to fit into a world that wasn't meant for you? NEWSFLASH: It doesn't make a difference how poised you are, how classy you are, how articulate you are, how intelligent you are, you will STILL be judged by the color of your skin. So have fun in your social graces classes, I, for one, would not be in attendance.

I thought when 9.11 happened many of us realized that we, as humans, are more connected then we though, but obviously some people didn’t get that. Our world may have different components, aspects, and devices, but they all work together in a strange way to make ONE even though it doesn’t seem that way. This is a White-American oriented SOCIETY, not world. Even white people aren’t powerful enough to make their own world. ;)

And, If you believe this world wasn’t meant for you then I suggest you skip my seminar and put your U.S. Passport to use immediately. There are places where you are seen as a female or an AMERICAN first and they don‘t give a damn about your ethnicity. Black women are sought after in some places for marriage, not just sex.

I used to believe that I would always be judged by my skin, but then I woke up realized it really depended on whom I was dealing with and where I was. I now believe to say such a thing means you know what is in everyone else's mind and heart everywhere. I don’t know how people are going to treat me. 9 times out of 10 I have to wait and see and then act correspondingly. Blacks are still treated as a mass by the ‘other’ mass, but as individuals people can really surprise me sometimes.

American white people are unlike any other groups of whites in the world (with the exclusion of the UK). In short, they are freaks. The world is mostly non-white anyway. There are plenty of places where blacks are not so far down the social scale. Many of these places don’t HAVE white people for them to be compared to so once again, it‘s not about always assimilation.

Re: Unfortunately these are the times we live in....
 

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: WHAT?
 

Couldn't have said it better myself! My thoughts exactly!

Yes, my mother taught me 'the rules of the game'. She worked in corporate America for 25 years before changing into the field of education. I can go into an upscale restaurant and dine with the best of them. Hell, I even know how to purchase a bottle of wine, and which flavors complement what foods. I learned these things because I WANTED to.

But, as I said before, I will be damned if I will worry about what 'White America' thinks about me. I care about my people too, but I am not one to go and tell them that they need to this or that in order to be pleasing to white society.

I think that our people have greater issues to deal with, rather than worrying about what White America, or so-called socially adept Black Americans feel we need to do in order to make ourselves more socially pleasing to THEM.

Everyone, have a blessed holiday season.

PrettyPetite