Things that annoy you when watching porn
 

(1) Girl could be naked but she's wearing a high heel and is swimming
(2) The annoying over the top squealing
(3) When the girl look at the camera and pretend she's getting off
(4) The off camera narration

What else can you think of?

I will say this, and MEN, TAKE NOTE.

Just because something looks good for the camera and they do it in all the prons doesn't mean everyone likes it that way in real life.

(To be blunt: slow your roll when heading south of the border.)

I feel you with that one.

I don't like it when they show dude tappin it from the side, and dudes balls are showing. Just cut to the chase, tap it from the back, bust a nut, and move on to the next ass tappin scene. Fuck all that other dumb shit.

Females need to take note of that too, because it works both ways. Don't just call dudes out on that.

This thread is glorious! :D

Best thread started, so far.

I don't post much anymore, but how could I pass this up? Lol

Yes.

Also, being on film does not = actor. Unless you're with a major studio, skip the chatting and get to the damn main event.

Yes yes yes

freaking hate it when the movie is 35 minutes long and the action is only 5 minutes. I'm not watching Lincoln here.

also, when the man try to moan harder then the woman.

When the cameraman start talking to the people and even appear in the shots. Way to break the fourth wall there buddy.

Spitting. #yeahIsaidit

So, once my husband showed me this p0rn0 that featured a French girl named Penelope (pronounced to rhyme with cantaloupe) having different encounters in locales throughout Paris.

And they did a tight close up shot of her goods while she was in a grassy area at a park, and there were all these flies buzzing around her anus.

Not sure why anyone would be into that, but COME ON! I couldn't stop laughing and it kind of ruined the moment.

Also, since I'm already here - we inherited the last few issues of a Playboy subscription of the former owner of our house when we moved in. One of the centerfolds wasn't completely clean shaven in her muffular region and the next month, there were two pages of letters - half the writers were pro fur, the other half were anti fur. I never realized it went that deep.

If I'm watching it with my girl, I have to watch the shit she likes. But when I want to jack off, I just fast forward past the other shit. It's easier to bust a quick nut that way. For me it is.

I actually like this shit, because that means dude is about to bust a nut, and when dude bust a nut, I bust a nut shortly afterwards. You feel me? But, if the female is hollering like the shit hurts, I can fill up a jar from the sounds of that LOL.

LOL @ "muffular region". A bit of fur is not necessarily bad, but if it looks like there's a tribble living between your legs, that's bad. (And that goes for the men too. Your ballsac should not look like a tribble.)

It does annoy me when a female is so "over the top" with her "orgasm" that it's patently obvious she's faking it. Especially when she has another "over the top orgasm" 2.5 seconds later.

I get annoyed with the cheesy story lines. I mean, come on! You have to admit, some of them are RIDICULOUS!

LMFAO! :eek:

My major pet peeve:

Random guys and girls just sitting around, fully cloth, watching other people having sex. They're not part of the crew, just random people watching and talking. I think it's a recent thing cause i don't remember seeing it in the 90s.

Hey -- some of the story lines from the majors are actually pretty good lol

It's the "Hey! I can't pay for this pizza. Can we make...other arrangements?" that's shitty

Real-life lesbians don't have acrylic nails.

This whole thread:

http://www.areaderz.com/wp-content/u...said-shirt.jpg

I don't know what kind of porn y'all are watching, but the ones I watch are nothing like the ones you all have been posting about. The porn y'all watch doesn't even seem like porn. It sounds like a two hour soap, with 5 minutes of fuckn. The ones I watch, they talk for like a minute, then all the oral sex starts, which I fast forward through. Then they start fuckn. I fast forward through the boring positions, up until dude is tappin it from the back or flat out anal. Check out West Coast Erotic Fly Girls. That's the shit. I have all four volumes. Based on what I've been reading, y'all post like a bunch of 15 year olds, that just hit puberty, all excited about the fuck scene in Porky's.

Gotta agree here. One does not usually watch porn looking for brilliant story lines.

Although I have to commend the writers of "Sex Trek" for some great dialog:

Captain Quirk: Lieutenant Uwhore, we are going to penetrate Uranus.
Lieutenant Uwhore: Say WHAT?!

And I'm suddenly regretting that my username clearly indicates my sorority affiliation. :o

bumping for the LOLz and... don't ask how I found this thread. I promise I didn't go looking for it!

The first time I saw this I gagged and had to red-x that mess! I also hate the sound of hawking loogies so I was totally done after that.

Right! Not that I expect pron to have quality dialogue/plots, but I'd rather these chicks set it out for pleasure than for pizza. Also... you were ordering a PIZZA! wasn't you hungry 5 seconds ago? Now you're hungry and the pizza is gonna get cold.

Ha! Touche. I love how the manicures are always a priority but the hair/makeup is hit or miss. Usually a miss.

I guess my biggest pet peeve is that porn is made for men and not women. Women watch porn too. With that being said, I find it so annoying that when they (the "actors") start oral the man gives the girl maybe 2-5 minutes (if that) of oral and then there is about 5-10 minutes of the girl giving him a blow job. Really! Women do enjoy getting pleasure from sex just as much as the man. Sometimes it seems like the women are "faking" their moans because they aren't getting off, but by god the man will.

I saw a porn, called The Friend Zone, that had a decent plot but the writer included additional sex scenes (since it is porn) for characters who had absolutely no bearing on the plot in the first place. That just seemed stupid to me. But in general, porn has no plot, it's about sex.

As for the random people watching I think that came out of College Fuck Fest as that is what they do, go to campuses (parties) and convince people to have sex in front of everyone else. I'm sure their given money.

I can't stop laughing right now!!

I made the mistake of reading these aloud to my DH.


This had him actually roar with laughter!

And this actually took his attention away from the Blackhawks v. Kings game!

I might have to break down and watch one of these some day!

OK... OK... lol... trying to breathe here... I have to be able to breathe before I can resuscitate my husband... lol ...