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A Spicy Recruitment Story
Pre-Recruitment
Since my daughter could not be persuaded to write up her recruitment story I thought I give it a whirl. She is attending the University of Alabama. When my daughter first said she wanted to go through recruitment my reaction was,” But I don’t know anyone who was in a sorority! How in the world do you think you’re going get the recommendations needed to join one?!” I graduated from a women’s college and was a first generation college student. I only knew about the need for recommendations because a couple of the women where I worked had daughters that were currently at Texas A&M and I’d heard about how much work went in putting together recommendation packets. And that was for A&M when it wasn’t part of the SEC! Word on the street was that the Alabama was going to be a much more involved process. As it turns out, obtaining recommendations was both the biggest pain in the neck and the most rewarding experience for my daughter. Neither of my co-workers had been in a sorority. One of them was a graduate of a women’s college as well and the other an alum of A&M but not a sorority woman. One woman suggested attending the local Panhellenic Association’s spring workshop on recommendations and also suggested this website. The workshop was a terrific experience for my daughter. It was set up like a college faire with women stationed by posters depicting various aspects of their sorority and answering questions. Out of twelve representatives, ten of the women were warm, enthusiastic and welcoming to all the girls that came to their tables. They did a terrific job of marketing their organizations. Two were a bit cliquish and seemed to be talking only with girls and their mothers that they all ready knew. The majority of the representatives were women in their 50’s and 60’s. A few groups had collegiate representatives. A couple had recent grads. My daughter had a great time. A registration package went in to the Panhellenic Association timely and received follow-up contacts with three of the organizations that were at the workshop. Next she did a mass mailing to teachers at the mid-size high school campus that her magnet school is a part of. Using the teacher’s biographies on the school website, she sent a letter to any female teacher that graduated from a campus that had sororities, asking if she belonged to a sorority and if so, would she would be willing to receive a recommendation packet. Out of 130 letters sent, she received three positive responses and after follow up contacts received recommendations to three more organizations. At church I began asking anyone that attended large public colleges and universities if they were members of a sorority. There was one woman that had been in a sorority in California and she secured a recommendation that way but most of the responses were extremely negative. I realized I was approaching the wrong demographic. Women that graduated in the 80’s tended to be anti-sorority. By asking dynamic, independent, involved women in their 60’s and older in our congregation my daughter secured three more recommendations. My daughter then started asking her friends and classmates if their mothers had been in sororities. This netted three more recommendations. At this point she called a halt to any more efforts. She ended up with recommendations to 12 out of the 16 sororities at Bama and felt good about it. A bit about my daughter: great grades, leadership positions both in school, on her dance team and with church youth group. She’s an excellent public speaker. We’re from Texas and yes, she did attend camp for 7 years. |
So the 16 sororities at Bama that participate in formal recruitment are: Alpha Chi Omega, Alpha Delta Pi, Alpha Gamma Delta, Alpha Omicron Pi, Alpha Phi, Chi Omega, Delta Delta Delta, Delta Gamma, Delta Zeta, Gamma Phi Beta, Kappa Alpha Theta, Kappa Delta, Kappa Kappa Gamma, Phi Mu, Pi Beta Phi, and Zeta Tau Alpha.
I’m using the following spices (in no particular order) for the sororities at UA: Allspice Basil Bay Leaf Cilantro Cinnamon Clove Fennel Ginger Jasmine Lavender Marjoram Nutmeg Rosemary Saffron Sage Thyme Through the recommendation gathering process my daughter went into recruitment with a favorite. Three alumnae from Lavender provided her with recommendations, called her and chatted with her on Facebook over the summer, offering advice and encouragement. It was the attention of these women that really won my daughter over so that she went in wanting to love this house. |
Convocation:
At convocation there were presentations by the sororities that come under the Panhellenic umbrella that don’t participate in formal recruitment. My daughter said that the crowd was extremely rude when they were speaking. A NPHC representative also spoke and, while not particularly attentive, the crowd at least wasn’t making snide comments during the presentation. A member of the multi-cultural sorority also spoke and my daughter said if she didn’t get a bid this week she was definitely going to apply to that organization |
Ice Water Teas
Day 1: my daughter visited, Sage – loved them (no rec to this house) Nutmeg – loved them although she said she embarrassed herself at the house by spilling a glass of water on herself and the couch she was sitting on. (rec) Jasmine - OK (rec) Bay Leaf – really wanted to love this house because their symbol was her favorite activity at camp. Experience was just OK (rec) Clove – was extremely put off when a woman approached her leading with, “Oh, you’re one of those smart girls.” Daughter didn’t know what to say to that. She was thinking about responding “thank you” but instead talked about the focus of her magnet high school. (rec) Basil – wasn’t feeling it but couldn’t really articulate why. She just said she didn’t feel she‘d fit in. (rec) Lavender – loved, loved, loved! (multiple recs) Marjoram – was not expecting to love this house but had a great time talking about all things Disney (rec) Day 2: she visited, Thyme – loved them. The most wonderful woman from church gave her a rec here. This alum burst out in song about her sorority when my daughter approached her to ask for the recommendation. (rec) Cinnamon – had a positive experience (no rec) Saffron – did not go in expecting to love them – knew two collegiate members from the local university that had been on her dance team (rec) Rosemary – loved them (no rec) Cilantro – OK (rec) Allspice – second least enjoyable experience (no rec) Ginger – OK (no rec) Fennel – OK (rec) At the end of Ice Water teas she ranked the houses in the following order: 1. Lavender 2. Thyme 3. Nutmeg 4. Marjoram 5. Sage 6. Cinnamon 7. Saffron 8. Sage 9. Rosemary 10. Ginger 11. Fennel 12. Cilantro Others: 13) Jasmine, 14) Allspice, 15) Clove, 16) Basil |
Thank you for explaining how you and your daughter went about finding recommendations. We get many posts asking how to find recs. and what you all did is just what we tell the pnms to do.
Love your theme! |
Oh me too, my stomach is growling. I want these kids to finish their makeup tests so I can go eat.
I didn't know jasmine was a spice! :) |
I think technically it would be an herb. Herbs are leaves, spices are roots/seeds.
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Philanthropy Days
Note: I had Sage in there twice (#5 and #8) and left off Bay Leaf. Bay Leaf should have been #5. Today was a hot mess what with computer issues and inclement weather but other than frizzy hair concerns my daughter was taking it in stride. I think she appreciated the break. Come 4:30 pm she had a full schedule of parties to attend! She was thrilled and I was thrilled for her! The houses making up the twelve were not all of her top picks, nor were the deleted houses ones that she didn’t have recommendations for (which is what I expected would happen.) Day 1: she visited, Nutmeg – she loved them even more. She felt they were fun, goofy and at the same time very committed to their philanthropy. Thyme – continues to love this organization. She said there was lots of commitment shown by the women in this house. Jasmine – did not feel that they were committed to their philanthropy. Rosemary – really enjoyed all the women she met. While she really felt they could do a lot more for their philanthropy, she feels a personal commitment to their cause. She was already thinking of ways that she might fit in to help Rosemary make a bigger impact on campus and in the community. Ginger – OK. Cinnamon – she texted me that the interaction was “awkward.” When I was able to talk with her she said that the woman she spoke with had absolutely no knowledge, let alone commitment to, the cause they supported. Day 2: of Philanthropy Round, Lavender – loves them, loves their philanthropy (she provided service to a related group in elementary school for several years.) Marjoram – good experience. Saffron – good experience. Sage – loves them and feels they are a very committed group. Cilantro – did not feel that they were committed to their philanthropy. Allspice – did not feel that they were as committed as they could be. After the Philanthropy round she ranked the groups as follows: 1. Nutmeg 2. Lavender 3. Sage 4. Rosemary 5. Thyme 6. Saffron 7. Marjoram 8. Ginger Others: 9) Cinnamon, 10) Cilantro, 11) Jasmine, 12) Allspice, |
fun story! Especially helpful is the discussion of how you and your daughter went about securing recs. That process prepared her well for the conversations and situations of recruitment.
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I agree about the Recs, such good suggestions. I am hoping she ends up in Lavender.
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I love the thyme alum who broke out in song when they met for the rec! Rooting for thyme!
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Another fan of Lavender!!!
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Really like this story too! Keep going.....
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Loving it... More, please!
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I want Ginger to be more than just "ok"!!!! :(
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:) I just love her, we thought she'd flip out with joy when one of our daughters went Zeta years later. She's very fragile now, probably over 85, but she still asks about our Zeta.
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Skit Day My daughter received her schedule for skit day and was excited about having the maximum number of parties (8). She likes or loves every house she’s visiting the next two days. She recognizes that this isn’t everyone’s experience. She says a lot of girls are “really stressed about rush” and “freaking out” because they are being dropped by the houses they want. The following houses are part of her schedule: Lavender – since Nutmeg did not invite her back Lavender is back to being the top favorite. Thyme – while she has really enjoyed meeting with the women of Thyme she’s concerned there might be a bit too much pressure for grades. She wants to do well in college but doesn’t want the pressure of disappointing an entire organization if it takes a semester to get on her feet. Sage – she really loves this house. Rosemary – she’s amazed that she is so drawn to this house. Marjoram – she had a really good time here. Saffron – she says she likes them, just not as much as Lavender, Rosemary or Sage. Ginger – although warned not to listen to “tent talk” she is hearing that this group has had some rough times. Jasmine – she’s decided that the overriding feel in the house is just too preppy for her. Later she told me this was a very difficult decision for her. She decided to rank the groups as follows: 1. Rosemary 2. Lavender 3. Marjoram Others: 4) Sage, 5) Thyme, 6) Saffron, 7) Ginger, 8) Jasmine We’ve talked about the fact that houses where she has no recommendations have continued to be in her schedule. Maybe the system is more flexible than we believed or maybe registering and submitting a packet to the local Panhellenic Association worked really well; so that recommendations were sent without her knowing about it. For what it’s worth, she knows other PNMs who had absolutely no recommendations (zip, zero, nada) going into recruitment that are still happily attending parties. They haven’t had full schedules but they are still having a great time at the one or two parties that they are attending. Also, she has made two friends through this process that she feels she’ll continue to hang out with regardless of which house they end up in. |
Preference Parties
Earlier in the summer I had made arrangements to be in Alabama on Preference day. My thought was that if things went badly I’d be there to commiserate and if they went really well I’d be there for the excitement since Greek Affairs sent emails inviting all families to Bid Day. So this morning I helped her get ready (mostly being there to say positive comments when asked about jewelry or hair, and running out for coffee.) Then I went to check into my hotel and she went off to her Rho Chi group. My daughter received the maximum number of invitations to preference parties but was surprised at who the invitations were from: Lavender, Sage and Thyme! She wasn’t unhappy that Rosemary and Marjoram had dropped off, just really surprised. The comments below are in the order that she attended the parties, although we only spoke after the final ranking was done and the form turned in: Thyme – She said this was the first time she felt that she actually had a real conversation with a sorority woman. They talked about the role of women in society today; they talked about how important the philanthropy is that the house supports and how the issue impacts society as a whole. They also talked about how important their education is to each of them. She felt she could easily be part of this organization. Sage – When the week began her Rho Chi asked all the PNMs to identify what was most important for them to find in a sorority. My daughter listed “family” first. It happened that the emphasis at this party was on family. She felt she had a very good, honest conversation about core values with the woman she spoke with here. She called this the second real conversation she had all week. When they ended the party with a song from her camp tribal hill meetings, she felt it was a sign that she belonged here. Lavender – she had a wonderful time during the party, she really felt this was a group that always “has your back”, and that Lavender truly supports the uniqueness of each member. The message she came away with was that the group was stronger because each member was allowed to be their own person. Later that night she relayed to me that she felt Lavender would support her individual journey through her college years and she would love being a part of this group, but she believed that both Sage and Thyme would help her develop into the woman she was meant to be during these four years. Because she loved each group and would be happy to be in any one of the three it was tough but she decided to rank them: 1) Sage 2) Thyme 3) Lavender |
So glad you are finishing the story....but please do it now!!!!!
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Great story! More, please!
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Bid Day
I met my daughter at 8 am and was able to hang out with her as she got ready. We walked to the stadium together had a great time talking along the way. I am really glad we had that time together. Since she knew she would be happy with any of the three organizations she was overflowing with excitement. I had asked her to text me so I would know which group to look for and she did, but with the huge number of new members being “funneled out the chute,” I missed seeing her running past. I did get a picture of the letters running by and we met up at her new home away from home. My daughter is a proud new member of… Alpha Delta Pi! She has been having a great time the past few weeks; went on retreat, has attended several meetings, had her first swap and put in some clocked study hours (and a lot more besides) and is finding it all good. It's a huge relief to know that my daughter feels at home 1,000 miles away. I knew the academics were going to work out well, given the unique program she is in, and that program was the reason I could let go of my wish that she had chosen my alma mater and been a bent twig. Now my worry that she would feel lost at such a large school, is gone. I just hope I get lots of pictures as the year unfolds. |
congrats on ADPi, which "spice/ herb" was it?
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Congratulations!!!! Best wishes for a happy 4 years at Bama for your daughter!
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Well I missed that, didn't I? ADPi = Sage. Getting her first choice was an extra-added bonus.
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Congratulations! Best wishes for your daughter's success at Bama.
I agree that having a group to call home is really a relief for moms when daughter goes OOS (especially as faaar OOS as your daughter!). |
I love an ADPi ending. Would you mind sharing the other groups were she attended Pref?
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(shhhh....don't tell Honeychile, there'll be no living with her now for sure! She's on a roll this year with PNMs going ADPi and then there's that little matter of expansion at some campus in the South...I forget which one but I'm supposed to buy a dress and sit on a veranda when the time comes).
Congratulations to your daughter, what a great story!!!!! |
Congratulations to your daughter! We're thrilled to have her!
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What a great ending...I'm so glad your daughter is happy!
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Congratulations to one of our newest Alphas. Great story, and great job on securing recs. When people who don't have Greeks in their families or their lives ask us how to find recs, we tell them to literally ask everyone-- church, school, friends, etc. You are proof that it takes some work, but that process does work!
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Several people have asked which preference parties my daughter attended. Since she would have been honored to be a member of any of the three groups, here they are:
Sage - ADPi Thyme - Alpha Chi Omega Lavender - Delta Gamma |
Congrats on an ADPi ending! Knowing Lavender was DG brings a smile to my face. That's such a great "new" chapter with a gorgeous house! I'm glad she liked them, but even more glad she found a home to call her own for the next four years!
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Your daughter's (and your!) recruitment experience is full of win. From being creative with the prep work of getting recs to being open-minded and finding many favorites- what a fantastic example for all other PNMs and PNM Moms! Thank you so much for sharing, and congratulations to your daughter and ΑΔΠ!
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I loved reading your daughter's recruitment story, and, of course, love the ending! Your daughter is now in the pledge class with a friend of mine's daughter. My friend actually has twin daughters-one twin pledged ADPi at Alabama, and a week later the other twin pledged ADPi at Georgia Tech. I do love me some ADPi endings.
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Congratulations to your daughter. I hope she is enjoying her Alpha period.
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A little behind on the posts, but so happy to read this story and the ADPi ending!
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