Accepted 2 Bids
 

I go to a school where the Greek community dominates. This is the SEC. well I met this guy who was really cool and part of a fraternity (F1 for names sake) invited me to some summer events and after a few weeks, durring a large summer party they took me to the brother room and I revived an early bid. I was drunk. And at this point I hadn't spoken with my other fraternities so I requested to "hold" the bid instead of accepting or denying. Keep in mind about ten actives were standing around me and they were all pretty dissapointed with my responce and I could tell and I just blurted out "just messing with y'all, I accept".

Okay so this is when my research began. after I accepted a bid (I know that is stupid) but this was all kind of sudden. I found out that this fraternity blows. like if you say the letters people laugh out loud.

a week went by and I ended up at a top fraternity on campus for a party. we will call this F2. somehow I ended up at waffle house with several actives later on and was invited to go fishing ect. well turns out I get a bid from them a week later. we really hit it off and I was so excited to have the opportunity.

Keep in mind that F1's social events and reputation compared to F2's social events and reputation is like comparing night and day. I don't even go to F1 events anymore, call them, anything. it's only been a week since I've stopped going there. I don't want to pledge F1. but I accepted their bid prematurely because I felt pressured and didn't understand the process. I haven't told F2 about the situation and I haven't told F1 about my bid from F2.

I've been thinking about getting a 30 rack and taking it to F1's recruitment chair and saying sorry I drank the rush beer, I have decided to decline your bid. I just feel bad. but I know where I want to pledge and isn't what makes me happy more important?

my question is. have I done something really wrong by accepting the second bid? and if I just walk away from F1 will that cause some kind of legal issues because I accepted their bid then just left and went somewhere else?

sorry it's long I'm just really confused. I don't want to wait a year to pledge because of this stupid drunk mistake. I'm already really close to my F2 pledge brothers and doing stuff with them at F2 and I really don't want to be denied pledgship because my "recruitment has been ended" by de-pledging F1 or whatever technical shit storm I've created.

I need advice and any technical information you can give about my situation.
I just wish I never even would have went to F1.

Rush rules for NIC groups can vary greatly by campus. At some schools, only the bid you accept on bid day is official or matters, so at those schools, you could have accepted a bid prior to formal recruitment, but that bid would be non-binding. At other schools, once you've received and accepted a bid, you're done.

When you accepted your bid, did you fill out any paperwork? What did it look like? You might inquire with your Greek Life office because no one here (unless you want to tell us what school) can really help you.

The recruitment is Informal here. I don't think there is a "bid day" that is only for the girls. pledgeship starts in 2 weeks.

I personally didn't fill anything out but the recruitment chair for F1 went over to a book and jotted something down, couldn't have taken him more than a second.. then we all returned to the party.

also the idea I had about meeting with the rush chair for F1 and apologizing. what if I just tell him the truth and ask him to please disregard my bid?

The way F1 extended the bid was extremely sketchy. They got you drunk and then it sounds like they hotboxed you, which is where you basically surround a kid and pressure him to accept the bid. As to whether that's binding, it totally depends on your campus. Again, I'd probably inquire with your Greek Life office.

What they did wasn't very honorable and it isn't very indicative of a quality organization. That said, reneging on a bid you accepted isn't either. Especially for the reason you're giving, which sounds primarily as if you value the prestige of F2. Before you go off and withdraw your bid, you're going to want to find out what the rules are. There are sometimes agreements between houses through IFC which would prevent you from going anywhere else after you've accepted a bid.

It'd probably be a pretty clear cut situation though if you went to F1 and asked them if they'd release you from your bid, but again, you need to ask someone who actually knows what he's talking about.

Lying to F1 or F2 for any longer is pretty unacceptable though. It makes you look dishonorable and like a social climber--something F2 probably has very little use for.

If anything, you've learned a valuable lesson about making important decisions while under the influence.

The way F1 extended the bid was extremely sketchy. They got you drunk and then it sounds like they hotboxed you, which is where you basically surround a kid and pressure him to accept the bid. As to whether that's binding, it totally depends on your campus. Again, I'd probably inquire with your Greek Life office.

What they did wasn't very honorable and it isn't very indicative of a quality organization. That said, reneging on a bid you accepted isn't either. Especially for the reason you're giving, which sounds primarily as if you value the prestige of F2. Before you go off and withdraw your bid, you're going to want to find out what the rules are. There are sometimes agreements between houses through IFC which would prevent you from going anywhere else after you've accepted a bid.

It'd probably be a pretty clear cut situation though if you went to F1 and asked them if they'd release you from your bid, but again, you need to ask someone who actually knows what he's talking about.

Lying to F1 or F2 for any longer is pretty unacceptable though. It makes you look dishonorable and like a social climber--something F2 probably has very little use for.

If anything, you've learned a valuable lesson about making important decisions while under the influence.

Talk to your school's greek life advisor. You'll need to figure out whether you're on the member lists for both organizations.

Did you actually put your signature on anything?

Your reasons for going with F2 are superficial, to say the least, so make sure you have really thought this through before you open a giant can of worms.

trust me when I say F1 is definitely not for me.

I really like my pledge brothers and the way the actives conduct pledgeship. F1 was very leisurely and in organized. the actives at F2 seem really close and the actives at F1.. well, you can just see it on the faces that they aren't even happy being in the organization they are in..

I'm laughing at "top tier" and "Waffle House" being in the same thought.

Okay, that's very different from what you said in your original post. In any case, unless F1 has your signature, you are probably in the clear per the rule of the law. A verbal acceptance while drunk is hardly binding.

That said, you probably have to fess up to F2 on the whole thing, and do it ASAP. If they hear about it from someone else, you will not come out looking good.

Not necessarily. First, I don't think you're really looking at contract law and defenses to contract formation in the bidding process. No one is going to Court here.

And if they did, he said he was drunk, but drunk doesn't always cut it. It's more druuuuuuunnnnnnnnnkkkk that'll give rise to an intoxication defense (the promisor has to truly be impaired).

What matters here are the rules between the houses. Maybe a signature isn't even necessary? Or maybe F2 would think that anything F1 says is too suspect to be believable? This merits further investigation on OP's part and GreekChat isn't going to cut it.

And with the Waffle House comment, he's at any SEC school not in Missouri or Florida. For whatever reason, there is a Waffle House damn near everywhere in the other SEC states.

I meant campus rules rather than actual law. I've never heard of a verbal bid being binding in a "the Greek Life office or IFC will keep you from accepting elsewhere" sense, but it could be in a "every fraternity man on campus will think you are a douche for going back on your word" sense.

I know right? Debauchery.

They should've at LEAST sprung for some IHOP. That's the breakfast spot of champions.

And whether every fraternity man on campus thinks he's a douche could very well depend on drunk v. drrrruuuunnnnkkkkk.

I haven't heard of verbal bids being binding either. In fact, lots of written bids aren't enforceable at all. We just don't know, which is why for the 31st time, I'm saying that we both agree--he needs to talk to his campus' Greek Life office.

Yes, we agree, but I think that, even if he is *technically* in the clear, he needs to let F2 know before they hear it elsewhere.

This is a good point. If F2 "hears" that you accepted a bid from F1 - even if you haven't signed anything offical from F1 - they might rescind their bid to you.

So yes, do what everyone is telling you to do and confirm ASAP with your school's IFC (or Greek Life) Office what your status is.

Best of luck.

FYP. Resend =/= rescind. In fact, they are just about opposites.

Waffle House has better hash-browns!:D

But have you had their blueberry waffles? that's pretty top tier to me.

Ehh, don't push it. Both IHOP and WH use that shredded potato mess then pour yellow #3 on top.

It makes McD's hash browns seem like everything.

tld221,
Fried Potato Princess

Nope. The Fungus Shui ambiance makes it hard to eat anything there :(

You were drunk.You don't remember anything about F1 or accepting a bid from them. Just sign the paperwork for F2 like F1 doesn"t exist and be done with it. What does ethics have anything to do with fraternity rush.

:o

Auto-correct, right? You can always blame auto-correct. :D

I'd argue you can't be held to a bid offered and accepted under the influence of alcohol. Also, it is my understanding that fraternity rush events are supposed to be dry events. Go pledge the house you wanted.

Even if F1 are kings of the douchelords, even if they got you drunk, even if they conned you into something...get out of this as honorably as you can, don't just flip them off and start pledging F2. You never know when the hottest chick you ever meet in your life will be the longtime next door neighbor and BFF of the president of F1.

In other words, don't burn your bridges even though it seems like they may be made of toothpicks.

This.

DITTO

Let me tell you a story about ethics and fraternity rush. A guy from my HS class gets invited to a summer rush party of one of the top chapters at the University of Georgia (our SEC school). Has a great time and gets invited to another summer event where he is offered a bid and told there is no need to rush any other chapter because its a done deal with this fraternity. He is really excited about joining this top fraternity so when rush begins on campus he only attends the rush events of this chapter. So what happens? The night before bid day he calls the brother who offered him the bid telling him how excited he is to join the fraternity only to be told he is not on the bid list and he should join another group. Of course it is too late for that so he is out of luck and never joins a fraternity. Talk about ethics.

^If OP is at Georgia, that's probably sage advice.

Wouldn't be surprised if he were. A guy I know was in the same situation. They got him drunk and told him to sign his name on a bid card without actually telling him what it was, lol. He went to F2 and told them the situation, then called back F1 and said he loves them but was drunk, and F1 said cool.

Something similar happened to me as well, I was an international student and didn't have the first clue about rush etc. House 1 bid me with 4 brothers looking on intently, and never told me I had the option to hold. When under their gaze I said I'd love to but I have to ask my parents first, they treated it as an acceptance and went down and started celebrating.

I officially signed with House 2 a week later. I didn't really mind House 1 but when I found out that I could hold a bid and not have to be put on the spot, I was really turned off. I'm very glad I went through formal rush after that.