Another SEC Recruitment Story, Cut Short
 

My recruitment story, though it ended rather quickly.

As a sophomore, I knew recruitment at a very competitive, very large SEC school would be difficult, but I didn’t expect to be dropped so early on in the recruitment process. As my username suggests, I’m at the University of Florida, where about 15% of our campus is Greek, which is a pretty large chunk.

I’ll start out by saying I didn’t rush freshman fall for two reasons: recruitment began early at our school, and as a first generation with almost no connections to Greek Alum, I had now idea how to begin. Second, I wasn’t actually accepted into UF until the spring term, so I wasn’t actually a student at the time. (Apparently, UF has begun splitting each incoming class into fall and spring in order to accept more students...winter grads are replaced by new spring freshman.)

Because of the latter, I chose to register for the less formal spring recruitment. At UF, about 500 girls probably participated, and 95 girls were extended bids, making my chances rather slim. I didn’t know anything about recs, and since I was just starting school, I did not know any greek women. I honestly wasn’t expecting a bid, and treated spring rush as training for fall recruitment six months later.

During those six months, I spent my semester getting used to college life, raising my GPA to a modest 3.4, and joining a club specific to my major. Nothing spectacular, but I’m not the most outgoing girl on campus and I tried my best to meet new people. My life still felt like it was missing something, and the more I heard girls in my classes and saw my friends from other universities having the time of their lives as sorority women, I knew that was what I wanted.

I registered for fall recruitment early, sent in a nice modest photo, got recs for five houses after sending emails to local alum for every chapter on campus, cleaned up my social networking sites, and bought trendy yet classy outfits for all four rounds. I spoke to my friends at other universities about proper etiquette, what to talk about, what to avoid, and the like. I’m well spoken, tall, thin, with long hair and tan skin and don't seem too terribly awkward...granted, this counts for about 50-80% of the ladies at UF. I thought I’d at least make it to pref night.

The first round finally came, and I was very excited and not too nervous, to my surprise. I visited all 16 chapter houses in one day. After 18 hours and spending 20 minutes in each house, I was exhausted but thought I presented myself well and was excited to see my schedule for round two. We went back to Norman Hall to preference, which was simply ranking our bottom five houses and listing the other eleven in no specific order, not actually cutting any house. The process took a while (did I mention there were over 1400 girls going through recruitment this year?) but I finally went back home and felt hopeful for the next day.

As I was getting dressed to meet my group for round two, I got a phone call from my Pi Chi. She told me I only had one house that day (the max would have been eight) and would not need to come until later that day. At first I was pretty surprised, then very nervous, but I took the news as well as I could and held my head high that night at the one house, which was rumored to be a top-tier house. I spoke to three girls, all of which had similar interests and career paths as I and I felt pretty good about the house. I even felt like I somehow belonged there.

The next day concluded round two, and I received my schedule from my Pi Chi in person. She handed my a small slip of paper, and the look on her face was one of empathy with a forced smile. I had two houses to visit, which means only three houses out of sixteen gave me an invitation to round two. I was somewhat shocked at first, but the three houses were chapters I greatly admired and could see myself as a sister. I should also mention out of the five houses that I had recs for, only one had called me back for round two. The first house I went to was the house I had the rec for, and I felt comfortable, but didn’t really feel a connection and could sense that neither did the three sisters I spoke to, so I could understand if they dropped me. I went to my last house soon after and felt the same as I did the at the first house of the previous night. I had great conversations with three sisters, one of which rushed as a sophomore as well, and felt hopeful. I left the house with a real smile, and went back to my Pi Chis to preference before going home for the day. Preferencing was similar to round one: we were to rank our bottom three houses and list our favorite four in no order. Since I only had three houses, I simply listed them as my top three and left for the day.

Round three was to start at 9am, and at 7am, just as I was about to take a shower, I received a phone call from my Pi Chi. I was dropped from recruitment. I had no emotion for the next few minutes while on the phone with her. I simply thanked her for her help over the past few days and wished her a great year. She seemed shocked I took the news so well and told me I could give her a call if I needed to talk. After I hung up I just sat in bed for a few minutes, then I suddenly began to cry and sob to myself. Was I not pretty enough? Was I socially awkward? Did someone from my high school in the chapter hate my guts? Was it because I’m a sophomore? Or because I’m just not interesting to talk to? I lay in bed for a while wondering what went wrong. I know, and am trying to accept, I’ll never know why or how the process goes on behind the closed doors of the chapter rooms of each house.

I contacted my Pi Chis, the Recruitment Chair, and Greek affairs about snap bidding and COB, though I have not heard back. I’m hoping maybe one of the houses will reconsider me after bid day (which is tomorrow) if their quota is not met, but I’m not really expecting much. I ran the numbers in my head: 1400 PNMs, with 16 chapters accepting a pledge class of about 60 ladies is 960 bids. About 400 other girls are in the same position as me. I’ve been told to try spring recruitment in January (again), but as a sophomore, I’m wondering if it’s even worth bothering.

Here’s my question to you ladies of GC, what should I do next? I really want to go Greek, but it seems they don't want me.

I'm sorry your experience was not what you had hoped for. From what I can tell, your main problem was most likely the lack of recs. They are absolutely required at UF. And 2 for each chapter if possible. You will still need them for spring COB if you try that route. If you don't get picked up this fall, find out from Greek Life who will be doing spring COB and get recs - 2 if possible - for all those chapters. Personal contact rather than emailing an alum group is best. NETWORK! Ask your HS teachers, parents friends, employers, SS teachers, parents friends, friends already in college, etc. Anyone you know who may have gone to college is a possible contact. If you find someone in group A, ask if they know anyone in the other groups. Start now doing your networking so you are ready. Sorry you didn't know this up front but otherwise,you'll most likely get released again.

I'm so VERY sorry this happened to you.
As some have said before, the big, competitive schools (like UF) have to make huge cuts based on factors that usually have absolutely nothing to do with your personality.
Maybe they didn't wan't sophomores. Maybe the only asked back women with X number of recs. Maybe they had a GPA cutoff of 3.5.
Who knows the reasons... but do NOT feel like you are the reject. It is the system that is the reject. In an ideal world, strong, smart young women like you would have no problem joining and thriving in ANY sorority at ANY school. But, as you know too well, that is simply not the case right now.

On any campus of any size, there is likely to be a chapter or two COBing to bring up numbers to campus total. Try and make friends in every chapter, and let it be known that you are interested in joining a sorority. Network and get recs for spring rush. But, above all, keep your head up. College is a wonderful experience even you aren't wearing some greek letters across your chest.

At UF it would be unusual for any of the chapters to be under chapter total following Fall Recruitment. Some may have spots open up for spring.

Titchou got it right. Recs. are a must have at UF. You might also consider joining an org. that you know has a large greek membership. You could meet the sorority women of that org. in a different type of setting, they could get to know you-it could work in your favor.

Also, 400 girls would not be released from recruitment. If 400 don't finish the process, it is because they drop out. It sounds like you gave every chapter a chance and you should be commended for that. Please get recs and meet girls in the chapters before spring. Good luck.

I have a question about recs at a SEC school (or any school for that matter). Is it considered a recommendation if an alumni sends in a rec but checks the box 'I don't personally know this young woman'? If the rec was written by a writer that doesn't know you isn't it information only?

Different groups have different ways of handling this. In my own group, it is still considerably better than no rec.

You are a sophomore with less than a 3.5 GPA rushing at an SEC school without recs to all the chapters. You did as best you could given these circumstances and I think you should continue to pursue Greek Life in the spring. Get the recs. Also, get involved on campus this fall! It is a great way to make friends, have fun, develop skills you can use later on in life, and you may even connect with some sorority women! I think you went into recruitment with a good attitude and I hope everything works out!

Thanks for everyone's words of encouragement!

I'm starting to volunteer with the local animal shelters and other local volunteer work. I'll continue participating as a member of some clubs and maybe try to get involved with Dance Marathon, a huge fundraiser for children's miracle network that all Greeks participate in, as well as non-greeks.

Bid day is in a few hours, and though I'm really disappointed I won't be participating, I'm happy for the girls I met while going through recruitment. By November I'm hoping to know which houses will be going through Spring Recruitment and I will get as many recs as possible for those houses.

Good to know that you're going to move forward with college and I wish you all the best of luck in the future with recruitment.

Your attitude is good. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and please know that we do wish you the best!

Oh true, thanks for the tip!

So sorry to hear this but your attitude is amazing! Best of luck to you at UF. There is a lot more to get involved with and I'm sure you will love it there.

Don't give up. Get involved this year in many of the organizations, including any of the publications. For numerous reasons, even those who do get bids - there are always a few that drop out. I would definitely try again in the spring. My daughter who had no Greek affiliations rushed last year as a freshman and has now experienced recruitment from the other side. She did mention there seemed to be a lot of sophmores rushing and some of that may be because of deferred entrance that has been trending up.

Keep trying. There are so many activities at UF to choose and in January can investigate options for spring recruitment. There is also nothing wrong with asking your Pi Chi for future advice.

Bluepink had great advice about asking your Pi Chi's for future advice. I was in a similar situation in college (had to drop recruitment the first time for a family emergency, was dropped the second time as a junior). I went to a smaller Big East school though that only had 450-475 women in recruitment each time for 7 sororities. My Pi Chi's suggested that I get involved with other organizations on campus and one of them even helped me do it. I am still friends with two of them now on Facebook, even though we live far apart from each other.

By the way, I know that being released sucks, especially after you secured recs and put work into it. My mom came up the weekend that I was released as junior to make me smile and laugh (by the way, I was released 2 hours before Bid Day). She had just left the weekend before and probably didn't think she would be back that quick. I was sad for a few days, but then I picked myself back up. I met quite a few people from the sorority that I was interested in that year and they told me that a big part of me not getting a bid wasn't because they didn't click with me, it was because I was a junior. When I reminded them that their letters were for life, they all realized just how wrong the "year in school" thinking was.

As an alumnae now, I look back and think that there might have been a reason why I was not extended a bid and that it wasn't meant to be at that time. I am not even going to pretend to understand the whole process.

I asked a couple of my Pi Chis what they recommended, and they all said to try again in spring during the informal recruitment. I did contact the office of Greek Life at my school and they said no COB was done at UF, and again recommended to try in spring.

Obviously my chances are pretty slim, but I've recently begun to bulk up my activities on campus, including a few that are predominantly Greek. I'm hoping to meet women from the handful of chapters I felt I clicked with, and will be getting several recs for each house, which should help a bit.

When I told my mom about what happened just minutes after I got that call from the Pi Chi, I had flowers at my door a few hours later, it was very sweet! What girl doesn't love flowers?

Sounds like you are headed in the right direction. Hope it works out for you. Please let us know.

What a sweet mom!

Did you later get a bid? Through COB or formal rush?

No. The sororities did not do informal recruitment that year and the next year I had an opportunity for an internship that took me away from my school for a semester. I also would have been a senior if I did formal rush again. :(

Dear Gatorgeneration, I want to tell you quick story about a friend of mine who was dropped from Rush at Texas Tech one year. My friend, Liz, was a Kappa Kappa Gamma double legacy, from a hugely wealthy family and very involved in community volunteerism. One would assume, based on her resume, she would be perfect for KKG membership, right? Not so much, they dropped her along with everyone else. She decided to "re rush" the following year after getting to know some of sorority girls on campus and ultimately joined Alpha Chi Omega! Look ahead to next year and get to know some of the girls in the chapters.

Hey ladies, so I received a phone call from a sister of a house who is extending COBs. This was not one of the houses I was invited back the second round, but they were very sweet the first day of recruitment. She invited me to a get together so I'm excited to have a chance to speak with more of the girls and get to know them in a less formal environment. I'll admit I never saw myself as a sister at this particular house, but I just never have personally met any of the sisters, so I'm keeping an open mind! I'll give an update later on!

That's wonderful! Good luck! I hope it works for you!

That's great news! Remember that in a large house, there are bound to be plenty of women you could click with!

Good luck!

Best wishes on your COB opportunity! I knew some wonderful women at UF who joined their chapters through COB. I'm not sure why the Greek Life office would tell you that there is no COB at UF; although it has been my observation that there are less opportunities now than there have been in the past, with RFM and the equalization of chapter sizes over the past 5-6 years, my understanding is that there are still a handful of houses who tend to have a small number of spaces available in the fall. Perhaps they aren't telling PNMs about this because there are so few spots these days? Regardless, this can be a great opportunity for the outstanding young women who always seem to somehow slip through the cracks during formal recruitment, as well as for those young women who are new to the university and might not have realized how much greek life at UF has to offer until the school year had already begun.

What great news gatorgeneration. This may be the chance you were hoping for!

This is wonderful news! Fingers crossed that you have a great outcome. :)

THIS.

Now go, be yourself, relax and trust the process! There are a gazillion reasons for a "disconnect" between a college's Greek Life office and individual chapters that would account for the "not knowing about COB opportunities". The reasons don't matter. It matters that you got a phone call!!! That's what to focus on!!!

I'm very excited for you and am sending positive intentions in the direction of Florida.

Thank you so much for everyone's kind words!

I spoke to about a dozen girls and met probably close to 25 while out with the ladies. I felt a little awkward while there, but the recruitment chair that invited me helped to introduce me to others. Unfortunately, I just didn't feel a connection with these ladies. I had a feeling this wasn't the chapter for me during formal recruitment, but I wanted to give this opportunity a shot. While nice, they did not seem to be a group of girls I would personally go out and befriend for various reasons. The whole PC 12 was there, along with probably 50 or so additional sisters, and I just couldn't see myself as apart of this particular sorority's PC. No one seemed to have similar interests as me, and many of them had different, I guess, priorities than me. I'm a very observant person, and I usually can trust my gut instinct, and this time it was telling me I just wouldn't fit in here.

During my short recruitment, I did get this feeling of belonging at three houses. Trusting my gut, I decided to send an email to the three chapters thanking them for their hospitality and asking about COB. Two have replied, one saying they would keep me in mind if they happen to have any drops. Keeping my fingers crossed!

You met 25 women and not a single one was interested in the same things as you? What are your hobbies, nuclear physics and 12th century religious art?

One of the things I valued about my chapter was that it was made up of women with a variety of interests different than my own. If not for my membership I would never have run across the many sisters who had different majors and interests - all of which enriched my life far more than had I stuck with hanging in the drama building with other drama majors. I LOVED all the differences - I felt that my life was enhanced by being exposed to different viewpoints, hobbies, etc.

Eh.

To each his/her own.

Gatorgen: just know that by no longer pursuing all but three houses, you are likely missing out on your chance to be Greek. The three houses you like, statistically speaking, are very very unlikely to have space even if there are drops. When I attended, there were large gaps in chapter size between the smallest and largest, and so five or so chapters would COB. Those days are gone and there are probably only one or two doing COB. I would strongly encourage you to stick it out and see if continuing to meet women at your available options works out. Wishing you all the best - being Greek at UF is a fantastic experience, no matter which chapter you join.

Just to make sure I was right, I looked at old grade reports posted online. In Fall 2004, some chapters had nearly 200 while others had 140 or less, and size seemed to correlate with recruiting strength. Now, looking at Fall 11, the gap between the smallest chapter and largest was only 30, with size seeming to have little to do with recruiting strength. Good for UF (and RFM!) for getting every chapter strong. However, this means precious few spots for COB.

I think you blew your second and perhaps last, chance. They obviously saw something about you that they liked, so how bad can their taste be?

You met fifty sisters plus the pledge class, and out of all those people, you didn't connect with one person? What is so reprehensible about their "priorities" that you don't agree with? How can you have possibly known what 50-100 people's priorities were in one night?

I'm kind of amazed at the responses I received; it's almost like I'm being criticized for going with a gut feeling. But I guess I may have been vague/worded my response incorrectly so here's an edit:

For one, I do appreciate others that have differing interests as me, but I would like to meet a handful of sisters that perhaps I could bond with over my own interests. And yes, my interests aren't very common. And for the record, several other houses I spoke with did have sisters interested in my uncommon hobbies. (I'd rather not mention them for identification reasons.)

Second, I would like to point out something I forgot to mention: I was invited to go back to the house and will be giving it one more go. I plan on speaking to some of the girls that were not there the other night; hopefully third time's the charm. I plan on going in with an open mind and hope to make a friend, but if my instincts tell me it's not for me, then I'm trusting my gut.

Overall, I believe I did the right thing by giving this opportunity a go; just because I didn't feel a click both out in this social setting and during formal recruitment doesn't mean I made the wrong choice. I'm aware I may not have another opportunity to go Greek, and that's fine. I'd rather be a non-Greek than be apart of a sorority I don't feel comfortable in.

Well, give it a try and see what happens! :)

In all seriousness, I applaud you for having the maturity to come to this decision. I hope, however, that you will see that the average person can find a way be comfortable and get along with a group of 200 members, and that your three meetings with this chapter have only been fleeting first impressions. I get the sense that you do realize this, and I'm a big proponent of following your gut instincts. I wish you all the best at UF!

This is what we want to make sure that you really accept. Most of us here are Greek, so we love sharing that experience with other girls. If you decide that you would really rather forgo a Greek experience than accept a bid from this group, then that is your choice. I don't think anyone here will criticize you for it. We just don't want you to regret the decision down the road.

Hopefully you will be invited to take a meal at the house and you can see the members a little more casually.