Non Member Wearing Badge
 

How would you handle this situation: this past fall one of our new members told me quietly after a new member meeting that one of her professors was wearing her mother's Gamma Phi Beta badge. The prof. approached the new member in class and they had a polite conversation about her mother and she said that she likes to wear her badge in her memory. We didn't know what to do, because I didn't want to offend a colleague (I don't know her; she's in another dept.) or say anything when the new member was still in her class. I also thought about making a friendly contact. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt...maybe she didn't know, and if it means that much to her, maybe she'd make a good AI candidate. Then I just forgot about it.

Sooooo...today I was in her building and I happened to stop to look at the big hallway bulletin board featuring teaching award winners and there she is...wearing the badge in her picture! This is a professional, studio portrait! The badge is obviously a historical design. Now I've gone from viewing this a case of well-meaning ignorance to an outright impersonation/masquerade ...I looked her up, and she is not a Gamma Phi.

What would you do?

Would she be suitable for alumnae initiation?

Seriously - this could be an opportunity. She's winning awards, so obviously distinguished in her field. Thanks to the connection with her mother, she already has a relationship with Gamma Phi. It could be a win-win.

I don't see anyway to wrest the badge away from her without it being very awkward. Take those lemons and make some lemonade, IF she meets membership criteria.

She may well not realize exactly the implication of wearing it - non-greeks often don't.

I am inclined to agree with you. Also, I now have a valid reason to make contact, without having to say that her student reported it to me...since she is wearing the badge so obviously, it invites a contact. My first thought, before I recognized the name as being the same professor, was, "oh, there's a Gamma Phi!"

I'll let you know how it goes....

I absolutely agree with this. As Greeks, we understand the meaning behind badges and the significance of wearing them. I don't think the average non-Greek understands any of that.

I lost my mother when I was a very young adult. It's hard to express how much comfort I received from wearing her jewelry, and I can understand how it may make your colleague feel.

She's probably unaware of our alumnae initiation program. Although I obviously don't know her personally, given her tie to our sorority, ties to your school, and professional accomplishments, she sounds like the kind of candidate we might be interested in approaching.

Good luck! I'm eager to learn how things turn out.

OK...I'll let you all know how it goes (most likely via PM).

I am nosy, please let me know, too. :)

LOL in all seriousness, this has been an eye-opening thread on many levels. I hope it works out for you.

I can't blame a non member for wanting to wear the Gamma Phi badge. It's gorgeous.

Second this! Understand if you can't though... :)

And this!

I hope that it goes well! If she is a good candidate, which she sounds like on paper, I hope she considers it. :)

Sciencewoman my hat is off to you. You handled this situation with grace and class. You have done justice to your organization, for sure. After reading your initial post, I thought how I would have handled it in that moment and I know I would not have done nearly as well as you. AI would have never crossed my mind at all.

^^^ Aw...the next time a whiny PNM says that GCers are all meanies, she should look at this thread. I think we should all pat ourselves on the back for being so nice!

I just sent the e-mail. Now we wait and see....

this is as exciting as any rush thread! and i agree, you handled the situation with grace and class.

It is! I'm like "oh I hope she responds and she is interested".:D

I am also interested in "hearing" how this goes. She sounds like she would make an amazing addition to the Gamma Phi Beta sisterhood.

Wow, you handled that witch such grace, I'm not sure if I could have managed that!

I'm very curious to see hear if she's interested!

This is interesting and you were very kind.

lane swerve/

As for Delta, I would have told the woman that I truly respect her love for her mother. Then I would explain (what she probably already knows which is) that wearing such things is reserved for members of DST. Then I would have said that, if she is interested, she can pursue alumnae chapter membership and (if this woman is awesome) I would offer to write her a letter of recommendation. Chances are, given her education level and that she is a Delta legacy who is wearing her mother's Delta item, she already knows about alumnae chapter membership. But telling her is worth a try. She may not be interested in (possibly) becoming a member. If she declined pursuing membership in DST through an alumnae chapter, my response to her would change accordingly all while still being professional and respecting her as a Delta legacy who is celebrating her mother's (my Soror) memory. :)

As an aside, I have known college students who wore their deceased parents' NPHC GLO items. That was handled much differently because 1) these were college students; and 2) it was seen as an intentional mockery when you walk up to a group of collegiate NPHC GLO members wearing an item with a "it was my deceased father's/mother's item and now it's mine--I dare you say something" smirk on your face.

/lane swerve

Before I e-mailed her, I spoke with another sister/faculty member who I thought might know her...she said she was "nice" and although she didn't know her well or know about the badge, she said to use her name when I contacted her.

I heard back from her this morning, and I believe her situation is very similar to yours, homeward*bound. She lost her mother to cancer several years ago and she wears the badge in her memory. I don't think she realizes that wearing the badge is inappropriate.

She suggested meeting for lunch or coffee, so that will be the next step. I think it is looking positive.

I sponsored an AI a couple years ago, so I am familiar with the process, and it is involved.

Keep us posted on how it turns out. I think this could end up being a very wonderful story.

I'd like to compliment on the way that you are handling it. Of all of the possible situations that might fall under "Perp", this is about as good as it can be.

For organizations without AI (like mine), I think my first positive thought would be having the women become an advisor to a chapter at the school, which would also give the right to wear the badge. I don't know if that is another possible solution with G Phi B.

Whether a chapter service project related to the type of cancer than her mother died from would make her feel more comfortable or if it would be viewed as "sucking up" would be something that would have to be decided after meeting with her.

Again, keep us informed of what happens, I'm curious as well. :)

Only initiated members may wear our badge.

I know of several alumnae initiates who went on to become chapter advisers.

Hmm. Advisors are not initiated members of Gamma Phi Beta? From a Risk Management standard, I'd want Advisors to be able to attend all rituals, but perhaps G Phi B has made another choice.

I think she meant that thet AIs advised as well and were not just regular alumnae members.

I'm sorry if I was unclear.

Naraht had seemed to indicate that becoming an adviser might be a solution to the issue of a non-member wearing the badge - I was clarifying that only initiated members may wear the badge. Chapter advisers would be members - but it is possible that a faculty adviser might not be, and so I didn't want to unilaterally say that ALL advisers are necessarily members.

I also spoke of alumnae initiates who, after initiation, became chapter advisers.

Is that now clear as mud? :o

Clear as mud. :)

It appears that we are working from different terminology. It appears that in Gamma Phi Beta that Chapter Advisers and Faculty Advisers are two separate groups, as opposed to the experience with my fraternity where Faculty Advisers are a subset of the Chapter Advisers.

So this woman could become a faculty adviser to the G Phi B chapter without being initiated and thus still not have the right to wear the badge. After being a Alumni Initiate, she could be either of the types of Advisers.

(And since chapter advisers always are G Phi B members, there are advisers who attend rituals)

Do I have the correct understanding now?

Yes, to the best of my knowledge and experience.

I will try to root around the G Phi B website to see if I can find anything definitive, or any of my sisters who can quote chapter and verse can certainly weigh in on the standing rules regarding advisers.

I'll chime in on this lane swerve...Faculty Advisor is not a Gamma Phi Beta position; it's not a position title we use. We use Chapter Advisor and then we have various advisors to exec./other elected positions, if enough alumnae are available to serve.

However, Faculty Advisor is an official role that my university requires for all recognized campus organizations. In my case, I do that role on top of my internal GPB advisory board position. I have to sign off when the chapter wants to reserve campus facilities for events, I am sent their grades each semester, and I'm supposed to make sure they're following campus policies. I have a faculty friend who is a Delta Zeta, and she is their Faculty Advisor. Neither of us is THE main, internal Chapter Advisor.

I don't think the university cares about the affiliation of the Faculty Advisor...they just want someone on staff to oversee the groups/be the point person. There are probably universities that don't even require this role, but I don't know. I would think that GLOs would want a member serving in this role whenever possible. As far as official GPB advisors go, they must be members, and members who initiated as undergraduates or through AI are equal in status, rights, etc. There is no differentiation once you're initiated. And, only initiated members are allowed to wear our badge...and that swerves us back to the dilemma....:)

Thanks, Sciencewoman - faculty advisors have been required by the two universities with which I have worked but I could not remember if they were an IHQ requirement as well.

Have you had that lunch or coffee meeting yet?

No, I was at our Convention and now it's July 4th...I plan to try to set it up next week.

Faculty advisors are not an IH requirement and in some cases chapters (and alumnae) see them as "spying" for the school.