Originally Posted by Future_Sister (Post 2152337)

Hi everyone! I'm a rising junior, and I'm going to be going through informal recruitment this fall. I transferred to my school last year, and couldn't go through recruitment until spring, which is why I'm going through as a Junior, for those who are curious. Also, I will be completing a 5th year, so I'll be able to be an active collegian for 2.5 years, not just a year and a half :) I went to some COB events last fall just to get to know the houses better before formal recruitment in the spring. My school has 4 NPC houses, and I was offered a bid by one (though never signed anything binding me to that house, so I'm completely free to go through informal this fall!) but I know it is not where I belong. I'm really interested in two houses, one of which I was invited to the pref night for in the FALL last year, though not in the spring.

I was hoping for some advice as to what kind of things I can ask the actives about during recruitment to show my genuine interest in their houses & to get to know them better, since I've heard the general stuff about their houses & philanthropies so many times, and I'm at the point where I want to know the girls as individuals, not just about the organization. Also, when the girls ask my year, should I mention that I will be doing a 5th year, so they are aware that I've got plenty of time to be an active sister before I graduate?

Thanks so much in advance! :)

Originally Posted by AOII Angel (Post 2152342)

How were you offered a bid through formal recruitment in the spring but didn't sign anything and aren't bound for a year? Formal recruitment doesn't usually work that way. You say that you want one of two chapters on campus. What was wrong with the one that offered you a bid (a bid in hand is worth two in the bush one might say). These other two chapters turned down the opportunity to offer you a bid during formal recruitment. What have you done to improve your chances or make you more attractive to them? Why would they suddenly look twice at you now that you will be even older?! Sometimes, you have to be realistic when assessing your options. Are you likely to join the group you want? Are you their ideal candidate? Would you rather be non-Greek than a member of one of the other sororities? Think things through before fall informal.

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2152340)

OK, let me get this straight:

1. Your school has four sororities (i.e. the Greek system is not so humungously large that you may not have gotten a good look at some chapters or gotten lost in the shuffle).

2. You went to COB events in Fall 2011, thereby putting yourself in front of and getting to know the sororities - i.e. you did not go into spring recruitment a total blank slate they knew nothing about. When you walked into their parties in Spring 2012, they knew who you were.

2a. You were invited to a pref night (I assume you mean an invite-only party) at one of these sororities, and did not receive a bid.

3. You went through formal recruitment in Spring 2012, received a bid from a different sorority, and declined it. The sorority who had invited you to their pref night during Fall 2011 COB did not offer you a bid. In fact, they did not even invite you to Spring 2012 preference night.

Unless in the past semester you have gotten to be VERY close friends with a VERY large number of girls from one of the sororities and/or become VERY visible on campus for VERY positive reasons...I'm going to say that your Greek ship has sailed. (Without you on it.)

Originally Posted by Future_Sister (Post 2152348)

. As for the other one, well I'm not sure what happened in spring recruitment though they seemed to be very interested in the fall, but I couldn't get a bid in the fall because of school policy.

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2152354)

There is no "school policy" that prevents this, unless there is a membership cap and they had met or were over it.

Originally Posted by AOII Angel (Post 2152342)

How were you offered a bid through formal recruitment in the spring but didn't sign anything and aren't bound for a year? Formal recruitment doesn't usually work that way.

Originally Posted by Future_Sister (Post 2152355)

our school, and many other in my area, don't let us go through recruitment until we have 12 credits and a 2.5 gpa.

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2152357)

Sorry, I got my seasons reversed or else didn't see the phrase "in the fall."

Although you should have been able to receive a bid if 12 of your credits transferred and you had the necessary GPA.

Originally Posted by AOII Angel (Post 2152358)

Yeah, doesn't everyone want to be in the most popular group, because that's what sisterhood is all about. Ummmhmmm...cuz you got to spend so much time talking to them and getting to know them. :rolleyes: The number of women going through informal is immaterial. What matters is the number of spots open in each group, which is determined by chapter total. If chapter total is 60 and the chapter you want has 59 members, they can only offer 1 bid. That means you have to beat out every other girl going through...all the roommates of recently initiated members, BFFs that go out with sisters every Friday night, etc. you've had your little mind closed from the beginning, so don't be upset that they won't change their minds either.

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2152363)

I mean, go through if you want, but I wouldn't be overly optimistic unless you are CLOSE friends with many people in one of what I'll call the two "remaining" sororities (let's call them A and B). You have rejected an offer of membership from Sorority C, and Sorority D, while they invited you to pref when you were ineligible, didn't feel the need to invite you back the next spring. As a member of a group who did a LOT of COB, when you don't invite people back in formal rush after they've been to your COB parties, well, that's just not good at all.

And since this is COB, every sorority will be taking a different amount of members. There is no quota. If A and B are the two most popular groups, they will have the smallest amount of spots.

I'm sorry this is so doom and gloom, but it is what it is. It would be different if you were at a large school with 10+ sororities.

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2152363)

And since this is COB, every sorority will be taking a different amount of members. There is no quota. If A and B are the two most popular groups, they will have the smallest amount of spots.

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2152368)

Or very possibly, no spots. If total is set correctly, I'd be very surprised if every chapter was below it.

Originally Posted by Future_Sister (Post 2152361)

I'm sorry, but when did I say that was why I wanted to be in that house? I know girls in there, and I know what that sorority stands for, thank you very much. I love the girls in that house so please do not be unnecessarily judgmental. Our campus has two houses EVERYONE goes in saying they want, I don't want the other one for my own reasons. I dont just look at Greek life like many other outsiders do, I actually understand it. And actually, the number going through IS imporant, when there's so many girls there at a time that theres 3 PNMS per active, thats kind of intense. I am not and was never closed minded. I ruled out ONE house, please stop the rudeness because this is entirely uncalled for.

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2152368)

Or very possibly, no spots. If total is set correctly, I'd be very surprised if every chapter was below it.

Originally Posted by AOII Angel (Post 2152370)

Sweetie, I'm not being rude. I'm being honest. You, unfortunately, are falling for shine. It's easy to fall for the girls everyone wants to be. It's a lot harder to see the girls who are the same as you because that's what the chapters are doing. If you can't do that, then you are setting yourself up for heartache. You can want something all you can, but the best thing you can do for yourself is be honest. Do you FIT into that group in any way, shape or form? The chapter has told you no in two recruitment cycles. As for the number of people going through, what I am telling you is that this chapter likely already has girls picked out to offer bids to before recruitment starts, ie. roommates, close friends, etc so it doesn't matter if you are the only other person there or there are 15 PNMs to each sister...you still aren't getting a bid. Do you get what I'm saying? Try having more of any open mind about who you are and where you'd best fit. You might surprise yourself.

Originally Posted by IndianaSigKap (Post 2152371)

All of the chapters could be below total in the fall due to transfers or deactivations. It is not uncommon for some women to make decisions over the summer which would create openings in their chapters. The campus where I advised, every chapter lost a member or two over the summer.

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2152368)

Or very possibly, no spots. If total is set correctly, I'd be very surprised if every chapter was below it.

Originally Posted by Future_Sister (Post 2152373)

Again, I'm NOT being closed minded, at ALL. And I'm NOT falling for shine at ALL, you don't know ANYTHING about the chapters I'm talking about, whatsoever. I do know where I fit. They knew they couldn't do anything in the fall, so that's not really 'telling me no' a first time. And yeah, plenty of girls get turned down in spring and yet get bids in the fall. I wasn't trying to get a bid last fall, I was going for my own knowledge. Please stop replying because you have been of NO use to me whatsoever, I asked what I could discuss with the girls, not for your RUDE unwarranted opinion.

Originally Posted by Future_Sister (Post 2152374)

That and I know more girls graduated than were initiated in almost all the houses, I'm not sure if that plays into the numbers for the fall, or if that is how spring numbers were calculated?

Originally Posted by Future_Sister (Post 2152373)

They knew they couldn't do anything in the fall, so that's not really 'telling me no' a first time.

Originally Posted by Future_Sister (Post 2152369)

Every chapter is participating in COBs this fall, two houses already had COBs this past spring.

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2152384)

If you went to COB events in the fall, and THEN went to formal rush events in the spring, the chapters who didn't invite you back were "telling you no" in the spring. Again, this is not a giant Greek system where people fall through the cracks.

Originally Posted by Greek_or_Geek? (Post 2152385)

Of course the only two chapters you believe you fit in with are the two most popular ones. Darling, you're not a special snowflake. You're a junior who's been through recruitment twice. The tribe has already spoken. You're simply not listening.

Furthermore, your user name is offensive to women who are actually Greek and you're rude.

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2152429)

Chapters can participate in COB without actually having bids open. I don't know your campus, but it certainly happens in a lot of places. Every group hosts parties, and some of them have no open spots.

In any case, if you want to be in an NPC group, you should attend all four chapters' parties with bells on, and see what your options really are this fall.

Originally Posted by Future_Sister (Post 2152437)

Thank you! Do you think I should mention to them that yeahh I'm in my third year (I will be a junior, but credit wise, I'm one class short so technically a sophomore) but I'm doing a 5th year there? Cause to me then its KINDAAA like i'm rushing as a sophomore, and a couple actives told me that it kinda will be like that, because i'll have the same amount of time left on campus.

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2152441)

Did you not mention this during formal recruitment in the spring? They know who you are by this point.

Originally Posted by Future_Sister (Post 2152442)

I didn't because at that point I was planning to take a ton of summer classes to catch up, but I changed my mind and decided to go for a 5th year instead. I missed most of last fall's semester not being on campus at all (very sick) so I wasn't as known during spring recruitment as I am now, also.

Originally Posted by Future_Sister (Post 2152436)

First of all, One of the chapters is NOT the most popular, in fact they're one of the least popular, I never said I wanted the two popular ones, read the posts before you get rude. Secondly, Technically I didn't "Go through" the first time, I merely went to a few events to meet more girls. I never said I'm special at all, I asked for advice and you failed to reply to my question. YOU are being rude, not me.

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2152448)

If you are well-known and have friends in the chapters, don't they know your situation? What are they telling you about rush?

Originally Posted by Future_Sister (Post 2152452)

I didn't tell them all about my situation before spring recruitment, but they know my situation now. The friends I have in the sororities that I've talked to about it are really pushing me to go for it again this fall saying just be me and I'll be fine and not to worry about my age or the fact that I already went through. We go to school in the North its not as competitive as it is other places. A few of the girls actually went through their sophomore years and I know someone who went through as a junior, and they all say go for it, without the tons of freshmen, its an entirely different game, and that its easier to make connections with girls once they have an idea of who you are and you can get to know them better during the fall COBs, which will be my situation. So they seem more optimistic than other people who have replied to this, and I know that at least 3 of them would tell me flat out not to bother with their house if i had no shot, since I don't have to go to every house now.

Originally Posted by Future_Sister (Post 2152452)

I didn't tell them all about my situation before spring recruitment, but they know my situation now. The friends I have in the sororities that I've talked to about it are really pushing me to go for it again this fall saying just be me and I'll be fine and not to worry about my age or the fact that I already went through. We go to school in the North its not as competitive as it is other places. A few of the girls actually went through their sophomore years and I know someone who went through as a junior, and they all say go for it, without the tons of freshmen, its an entirely different game, and that its easier to make connections with girls once they have an idea of who you are and you can get to know them better during the fall COBs, which will be my situation. So they seem more optimistic than other people who have replied to this, and I know that at least 3 of them would tell me flat out not to bother with their house if i had no shot, since I don't have to go to every house now.

Originally Posted by AOII Angel (Post 2152370)

Sweetie, I'm not being rude. I'm being honest. You, unfortunately, are falling for shine. It's easy to fall for the girls everyone wants to be. It's a lot harder to see the girls who are the same as you because that's what the chapters are doing. If you can't do that, then you are setting yourself up for heartache. You can want something all you can, but the best thing you can do for yourself is be honest. Do you FIT into that group in any way, shape or form? The chapter has told you no in two recruitment cycles. As for the number of people going through, what I am telling you is that this chapter likely already has girls picked out to offer bids to before recruitment starts, ie. roommates, close friends, etc so it doesn't matter if you are the only other person there or there are 15 PNMs to each sister...you still aren't getting a bid. Do you get what I'm saying? Try having more of any open mind about who you are and where you'd best fit. You might surprise yourself.