Advice for possible re-recruitment at FSU
 

So before my freshman year started I went through rush at Florida State. This was something I had been looking forward to since I was a little girl because my mom was a Chapter Advisor for XYZ so I was constantly at the XYZ house and all my babysitters were from there too. Unfortunately everyone dropped me after only the second round including XYZ. I am looking for some advice should I choose to go through rush again or if I should even go through it again.

Here is a quick bio on me:
19 sophomore major:undecided(was engineering)
I will admit that I am overweight, but I'm loosing weight :)
I'm super nice, witty sense of humor, very bubbly in a happy sence, and I am a very loyal friend.

Please help me

You need to figure out what went wrong your first time and then work to improve in those areas. If you google search (the internal search engine kind of sucks) something like "greekchat sophomore recruitment" you'll come up with results from people at comparably competitive schools and read about what worked or didn't for them. Off the top of my head, one thread that stands out that you'll want to read is strawberrygloss's Re-recruitment thread in the recruitment stories forum. As for whether or not you should do it again, that's a decision that you have to make for yourself.

^^^ great advice!

What does your mom have to say about it?

My mom was furious. She suggested that if it was that importan to me that I go to a smaller school.

Furious about what, that you were dropped or that you're considering rushing again (or something else entirely that I missed)?

This is ridic. You are in school for an EDUCATION, not Greek life. Even though you're undecided, it's still deplorable to change schools in the hopes of an "easier" rush. Besides, even smaller school chapters still have standards.

AMEN!!! Get your priorities straight.

You mention nothing about grades, but I suspect that you have some issues in this area from incorrect spelling and grammatical issues in your post. Being dropped from rush so early may indicate that grades were the problem.

Who was she furious at, you or the chapter???

She was mad At the Chapter. She was the chapter advisor at FSU for over 7 years and an area advisor for 5. She won't even where their colors anymore which used to be her favorite color. :( I feel like I took it away from her

Haha no grades are not my problem, I'm just a bad IPhone typer. And yes I will apologize for my bad grammar but that's why I am and Engineer major not an English major. I did not have a college gpa at the time because I was an incoming freshman and had not taken any classes yet.

You didn't do it. If she wants to feel that way, that is her prerogative. She may have set you up to think the process would be easier than it is, or that you had an inside track that you really didn't.

Would you have fit in with the chapter? Were you similar to the members, i.e., did you have a lot in common?

Looking back, would you have fit in better at another chapter?

Do you think that other chapters dropped you on day 2 because they feared that you would receive a bid from your mom's sorority and they did not want to take a chance, or do you think it was something else?

How did you stack up against the other PNMs? Against the PNMs that received bids from your mom's sorority?

Did you go in thinking at you were a shoe in, because of your mom's volunteering with the chapter and sorority at large?

How were your HS activities and extra-curriculars?

Will you be a more desirable candidate this year? What has changed between this year and last?

Im going to assume you had decent grades and lacked any fatal personality or appearance flaws and that you kept an open mind and got recs to all chapters.

Did your mother drive the chapter out of their minds with contacting them about you before, during and after recruitment? Is it possible your mom wasn't one of the most favorite of alumnae and advisors in the chapter's history? If the other chapters dropped you due to your legacy connections and the chapter was in a position where they didn't want to deal with your mom for four years, your recruitment would have been doomed. Sadly I've seen this scenario play out over and over again.

I agree with your statement, just wonder why the chapter would drop a legacy if they didn't want to deal with her mom. I get that if she had been given a bid, her mom would undoubtedly been around. However now, the chapter has to deal with a pissed off alumna. Not only a pissed off one, but one that has, from what I can gather, been quite influential in the shaping of the chapter the past few years. A war between a chapter and an influential alumna is never good.

Of course, I think the chapter and its members should do what they think is best. It is their chapter to lead. Just seems odd to me such an active alumna of the chapter has her daughter dropped. I just don't think we are getting the whole story.

We aren't.

Why do you assume that her mother is an alumna of that chapter? She said no such thing. Advisor to a chapter does not = chapter alumna (or alumna at all, for that matter).

You're a boy. Sorority recruitment is completely different. You'll never understand it's nuances. Best to stay in your own lane.

Yes she is an alum to the chapter. And I wish I knew the whole story my self but I have a feeling my mom is keeping that from me. I do know that the current advisor and my mom did not get along because my mom always wanted the chapter to stay less superficial and well the current advisor wanted other qualities. Could that be the reason? Just because I'm short and a size 18?! Because if it is I'd feel terrible that I even went through rush.

weird language patterns plus increasingly odd story=fake poster

O.o I'm not a fake poster......

Could be. Could be that the fire sprinklers went off when they got to you so they assumed you were a bad omen. Could be that there was a freak gator attack and one of the sisters said it was your fault. Could be {insert any other ridiculous statement here}. The point is, membership selection information (like what kind of girls they're looking for) is confidential and different for every group at every school, so we honestly do not know and if we did we couldn't tell you anyway. No one here is going to go "they totally cut you because you're fat, those bitches! You deserve to be in that group!" the same way they're not going to say "Well my chapter wouldn't take you either, gross," because we just don't know and us guessing is pointless; learning to deal with uncertainty is part of growing up, regardless of how much it sucks.

I think it was the gator attack.

Thank you for the chuckles. I wish I knew why I was cut. It was very hard for me. Could the new way they did recruitment last year be an issue also? When my mom called the Greek Office to complain thay said that they were doing it a new way because they had so many transfers and that 50% of the chapters bids had to go to juniors and seniors. At least thats what my mom told me, she could have been trying to make me feel better.

LOLOL! 50% !

I heard it was supposed to be 75% but there was a computer glitch.

Seriously though, if your mom was calling Greek Life to complain about the unfairness of the process, even if her assumptions were wrong, that tells a lot about what her relationship with the chapter might be like.

Actually, they have an upperclass quota there that is independent of the freshman quota. So, that had nothing to do with it.

She called because she was very shocked I was cut after only the second round. I had a bunch of recommendations for other chapters on campus but for my moms specifically I had over 15 including one from a past president of the sorority. That's why it was so shocking. But on the other hand while rushing I did keep an open mind and I did like other houses but this one was...Home.

:rolleyes:

If your mom would think it's a good idea to make up such a ridic story, I am beginning to think I know why you got cut.

Just for the record, a chapter NEVER has to give bids to anyone from a certain class standing. There may be an upperclassmen quota, but the chapter is not obligated to use it. A chapter can take all freshmen, half freshmen and half sophomores, or they can decide they're going to take the set of triplets in the junior class and be done. A PANHELLENIC OR A SCHOOL CANNOT COMPEL A CHAPTER TO GIVE BIDS TO A CERTAIN GROUP OF PEOPLE OR A CERTAIN PERSON.

I would wager this was a big part of the problem, with your size being another problem, as well as the 15 recs. to your legacy chapter, with perhaps a sprinkling of attitude from you that you had already found your home in your legacy chapter, but as others have said, there is no way for those of us not present at membership selection to know, and even it we did, we would not share that information.

Is there a way to get your mom to chill without starting WWIII? Could you ask a trusted adult to help keep her occupied during recruitment? Maybe she and some of her friends could go to St. George, Seaside or Rosemary Beach for the week of recruitment? She needs to stay out of the recruitment situation so that maybe you will have a chance with another chapter.

If you participate in recruitment this year, DO NOT have 15 recs. sent to your legacy chapter-a couple should suffice. You should have a couple of recs. per sorority for the other chapters. Act interested in learning about the other sororities. DO NOT act like you know everything about your mom's sorority (although I am sure that you know pretty much everything except ritual).

Hopefully your GPA is good and you got involved on campus. That and your weight loss, dressing to flatter your body type, looking put together, being friendly, interested and interesting will help you find a place in one of the fantastic chapters at FSU.

Honestly?

At this point, I think you would be better off to cross your mom's sorority off your list*, wipe them and everything you know about them from your mind, and if other sororities ask why you are rushing as a sophomore/re-rushing, say "I foolishly put my mother's desires ahead of my own and didn't really take a good look at all the groups. I'm going through again because I want to remedy that." I have the feeling that if your mom is doing things like calling the GL office, people already know who you are (and probably feel sorry for you at this point) and which group your mom is an alumna of.

*This does not mean be rude or dismissive to them at the first round of parties. Be polite, but don't gush or beg. Even if you would get a bid there this time around, it's more than likely that your time as a sister would be filled with drama and your mother's interference.

No one is so naive as to think that this size wouldn't matter at FSU recruitment. I'm calling fake.

Maybe it's not the case on your campus, but I think most places that would be considered OVERKILL. There's a possibility that coming in with so many recs came off desperate.