Rec Letter Time!
 

I can't believe it's that time of the year again! Rec Time! I am going to have another big rec crew this year -- so far I am doing them for four girls who will be going through recruitment at UGA, one at Tennessee, one at South Carolina and two at Georgia Southern.

I love "rec season". :) :) :) :)

That's all.

I wish I knew as early as you do how many I'll be doing! There aren't many Pi Phis in town but every year there are more PNMs so at the last minute, I get desperate calls from girls, moms, alum clubs, you name it! It'll be days before recruitment starts and people still don't have recs to certain sororities (usually us, Kappa,Theta, Tri Delt, DG, Alpha Chi) and someone finds out my affiliation and the phone starts ringing. And half the time they ask me if I know anyone who can do recs to the other hard-to-find-alums groups.

My alumnae panhellenic does everything short of coming to the pnms' houses to get rec packets in by the middle of May. Still, we'll have last minute desperate calls all the way through August.
My rec crew this go round includes Bama, Texas A&M, Univ. of OK, OK State, Texas Christian, Univ of Kansas, and Gamma Phi's TX State colony. I also have a DARLING pnm going to Univ. of TX - while I am not personally writing a rec I've worked with her so I'm claiming her as part of Team Belle!

I actually had someone contact me in January of this year and someone else do so in March. In both cases, they were worried mothers who had no experience with Greek life and had heard about "these rec letter things." Those were more informational calls -- I told them to see me in June. :)

Anyway, I always have a couple come sliding in at the 11th hour. I had a BAMA girl last year -- I and some other sorority alums in our community shoved her recs in through the cat door, it was so late in the game. She only had a handful of recs going in (scary at BAMA). She ended up pledging one of the sororities she did have a rec for and is very happy, so all's well that ends well -- but that was risky business waiting that late and going in with just a few.

I'll look forward to hearing everyone's results in August and September! :)

I am absolutely confused by the idea of what a rec letter is, but I've learned from another post that I absolutely need them at the University I'm going to. Could you tell me exactly what a rec is, and how to attain them if you know absolutely no one who has gone Greek? I'd really appreciate your answers! Please and thank you :)

This sends us over the edge! You can do a search here for your school + recommendation and get tons of hits. It's a letter of introduction, so to speak. A recommendation from a member to her sorority that yu'd make a good member. Like recommending you for a job. A job reference, if you will. So, make a list of all the chapters on your campus. Then make another list of anyone you know who has attended college - teachers, counselors, employers, relatives, neighbors, your friends' parents, Sunday School teachers, etc. They do not have to be your age; they do not have to have attended your school. (I went to Alabama in the '60's and can write one for anyone going to any school where we have a chapter). When you find someone who is a member of one group, ask if she knows anyone in the other groups you need. Mark them off your list as you go. You will need a resume, a copy of your transcript and a good head shot picture to give each...and a thank you note now and a note when you pledge letting them know what happened.

You're welcome.

Watching my daughter struggling to find rec writers this year has motivated me to become more involved in our local alumnae panhellenic chapter.

In our region, recs are normally done after a PNM has pledged, so the concept of her getting 2 rec letters per chapter is relatively foreign up here and has been met with some confusion. (I certainly don't think it's an unwillingness to assist as much as it is unfamiliarity with the system.) Actually, had it not been for GC, I would not have been familiar with the resume/rec prior to recruitment...so thank you.

She has actually had more success by finding facebook pages for individual sorority alumnae chapters in the area and doing "cold calls" with ladies who do not have private profiles, than going through the normal channels. (Although she risks being the "freaky facebook stalker," she has actually gotten positive responses thus far by thinking outside of the box.) LOL.

She secured about 6 recs through ladies that we know, but going through our local panhellenic to attempt to locate other ladies has not been helpful.

So, even though there may not be a large number of PNMs in our area that need recs prior to recruitment, I'm going to offer to become more involved and attempt to focus on that area, along with some recruitment prep. (Hopefully the local group will be receptive.)

Same for us. However, this is the first year that I can remember that we have a couple of girls who have declined to give our alum panhel information because they've already got recs for all the sororities at their school. From what she told me, they are from alumnae not here in hometown. Not a problem for us, but from what I've heard it is a problem for a couple of other groups. I could tell her that but hey - she already knows everything.

The biggest obstacle is the girls think they'll only get recs for the top 5 or 6 groups and don't think they need to bother with the other 11. And you can't tell them any different. Bless their hearts......:rolleyes:

Never heard of that before.

Every time I meet with a PNM asking for a rec., I always ask her what recs. she already has. There have been a few times when only about half of the sororities at State U. or U. of State are given, at which time I tell them that it would behoove them to get recs. to ALL sororities on their campus. I explain that they may fall in love with a sorority that they know nothing about right now, or recruitment may go a different way than they think it will, so they need all the bases covered. I never know if they listen to me or not.

Have a feeling it means their national requires recs so they just write them after the fact rather than bother getting them for all PNMs. Sad to say - what's the point after you already put a pledge pin on her? (No pun intended, Beyonce')

That is exactly what I meant. And it does seem rather useless. When the recs are received by the chapters, the young ladies are already pledges, so it's really too late to count for much. It almost seems like more of a formality than an aid to the selection process.

I remember after pledging, I filled out the necessary information and then one of the alumna from the sorority took care of getting a rec writer.

On the difference in different regions...here is a quote my daughter received in an email from an alumna of an NPC sorority telling her why she did NOT need recs...

The National Panhellenic Conference policy states that “the responsibility for providing letters of recommendation for prospective new members rests with the members of the NPC fraternities and sororities.”

When you register for recruitment, you will fill out information which will be distributed to all of the groups on campus. At that time XYZ (I replaced the name of the NPC sorority) and the other groups on campus will work to obtain a sponsor form for you, and any other candidates who do not have sponsorship.

I think that difference in the way things are done regionally, is what is making it difficult for some of the local alumnae to understand the need for letters of rec prior to recruitment.

That is the way it [I]should[I] work but with 1700 plus going thru at Bama and other such ridiculous numbers, it just isn't feasible. There are exceptions where they know someone coming thru and will get one on her....or the rush crush they can't live without but don't want the alums in one-horse-town mad at them. But they are few and far between. The numbers just simply put the onus on the PNMs back....

Thank you so much! I really appreciate the clarification and advice.

Well, my Rec Crew is growing! A young lady sent her recruitment packet to me last week -- she's my first BAMA girl for this year. I've also been contacted by another girl who will be going through recruitment there.

A lot of girls in my community go to SEC schools, so recs are mandatory. Most try to get them for every chapter, but there are always those who run into problems finding alumnae for all the sororities they need recs for. It happens every year.

This inspired a friend and me to start compiling a master list (set up on Facebook) of those who will give recs. We have secured alums from all over, not just our community, thanks to cousins, aunts, friends, etc. Even though our idea was good in theory, and we do have a fairly good list going, we are still in need of more alumnae.

Where am I going with this? If any of you Greek Chatters would like to be on our alumnae list, we'd love to have ya! The contact info is on FB, but it is a private group so info is not blasted to the world. The only people who ask to join the group are girls planning to go through recruitment (and their mothers) as well as alums wanting to add their contact info. Most of the girls are from my community, north of Atlanta, and all can be vouched for.

We would love to have alumnae from all chapters, but are really in need of Tri-Delt, DG, SK and AZD. If interested, just PM me. Thanks!

Oh, and as far as contact info left in the FB group, the only thing people leave is an email address. Girls can reach out to you that way and you can instruct them from there.

Arkansas
 

I'm doing a rec. this year for our re-colonization at The University of Arkansas! I'm excited that this lovely NPC sister (from another organization) asked me to do one for a young lady. She realized I was her "go-to-girl" if she needed it, just like my girl Jill. I love writing Phi Mu recs because I love the prospect of finding potential new sisters and finding out if a young lady went Phi Mu or not. Whatever the letter--we're all Greek together!

I just got a generic request from our local alumnae Panhellenic to write a rec (I'm the rec chair). The pnm wrote an email stating she'll be a sophomore, rushed at this very competitive school as a freshman, but dropped out of rush. She goes on to list which sororities she is interested in - mine not being one of them. (but all chapters she listed are very desirable.). For those of you ho write a lot of recs, how would you handle this? My inclination is to not lift a finger to help her, and to no rec her so my chapter doesn't waste an invite on her.

I bet you know how to write this one - I would.....

I don't think I'd so far as to "no rec"; I'd just do nothing. After all, she's not interested, right? :rolleyes:

Wow!

This whole "everybody gets a rec" deal kind of bugs me to begin with so I am probably not the best to respond. I feel strongly that the process of recommending someone for membership is a privilege I have been given and not a mandate. That explanation may sound like i am splitting hairs but I do believe that not everyone gets a rec. I say, no. :)

Wow! Is right. I do a lot of recs, but have never had this situation come up. Everyone who has ever approached me has been very gracious and appreciative. Now I'm pretty laid back and let a lot of things roll off, but I find this PNM's actions to be rude and offensive. I probably wouldn't no-rec her, but would decline. Preparing recs does take time -- I'm happy to do it for girls who don't insult me by leaving my sorority off their "preferred" list

I want to thank those who PM'd me about helping with my FB group and adding their names as alums willing to do recs. You're awesome and this is a great help -- we're building but getting there. Thanks again!

I had this situation happen to me once. To make it even worse, the PNM was standing in my kitchen when she said this! She had waited until the WEEK BEFORE Bama rush to obtain recs, and got my name from our alumnae chapter website. Since I was insanely pregnant at the time, I asked her to bring the materials to my house. This was also a ploy for me to actually meet her/lay eyes on her without me having to drag my tired self out of the house.

She shows up (late) in gym shorts and a tee-shirt. I invite her in, and just chat a little bit to get to know her. She then states "Oh I'm going to be either a ABC or an XYZ." After almost choking on my drink at what a rude comment to make WHILE STANDING IN MY HOME I did manage to compose myself. Despite wanting to ask "Then what are you even doing here" I let it go. It would be one thing if those chapters were realistic for her. However, even only knowing her for 3 minutes, I knew that this young lady did not have the presentation, grades, resume, or connections to have a prayer at either chapter.

Since she was a guest in my home, I took the high road and remained civil. I steered the conversation to the recruitment process to gauge her knowledge of that. She didn't have a clue, and in fact argued with me on what mutual selection meant. Despite my polite attempts to encourage being open to all chapters, she continued to insist that PNMs would be doing the choosing each day on where they wanted to go.

I have no idea why she bothered to even ask me for a rec. After that encounter I had zero interest in recommending her for my organization. What a waste of both of our time.

Once the Bama bid list was posted, I couldn't scan each house for her name fast enough. What a shocker- no bid for her!

I'd definitely no-rec her.

Then I'd forward her email to the rest of my APH and let them decide how to handle her.

As a parent of a daughter that is scrambling to find recs, I find that incredibly crass and I would no-rec her too. My daughter and I are very appreciative of anyone, whether favorite teacher or total stranger, who are willing to take the time to fill out these forms and send them in. To not only act like you expect a rec but also make it clear you are not interested in your sorority is disrespectful.

I was more than glad to do it. I think this is such an awesome thing that you are doing. I hope the number of alumnae on your page continues to grow. :)

I can think of two situations where this is okay:

1) She mentioned, say, her mother's chapter and her older sister's chapter as the two she was considering. Some people have no concept of how legacies work.

2) A Jewish girl says she is only looking at some combo of AEPhi, SDT, and DPhiE...that's also very common, and I wouldn't hold it against someone.

In both cases, some education is necessary, but it's certainly not enough for a no-rec.

I am a pretty forgiving person, especially to young, inexperienced people, but what really chapped me was that this pnm is a sophomore - she shouldn't be 100% clueless. And, I wouldn't no-rec her to be spiteful, but rather to ensure than an invitation isn't wasted on her. Our chapter at this school does well enough that they have to release a lot of PNMs. She is attractive with a decent resume, so they might give her a chance otherwise, but she has already shown once that she will drop if she doesn't get a bid from her "list."

gee ess: I don't write blanket recs for PNMs I don't know. I go to a lot of trouble, making calls, sending texts, etc. to my friends in the community. Someone always knows a PNM and can give me useful insight. It is a lot of trouble though, and not something I am willing to do for this PNM.

As for alerting the rest of APH, the PNM took care of that herself by including her "list" in the email she sent to APH asking for help securing recs.

I guess mostly it is disheartening that after going through recruitment once, and being on campus for a year, there are still PNMs who can't see any kind of big picture, and would be so ungrateful and rude to people who are trying to help.

In this case, I would either:

1) Tell her I'm not doing one for my group because stated she wasn't interested in it
or
2) Do one but tailor it to her situation by advising the chapter of her remarks.

Irish, I was not criticizing you. :). I was just opining on this trend where girls assume they are entitled to a rec because they signed up with the local AP group.

I think your feelings and reactions regarding this pnm are dead on.

Well, my soft side took over and I decided to give the PNM a chance to explain herself so I sent her an email expressing confusion that she only listed 6 sororities when there are more than that at her school. Do you already have recs for the other groups? Her response: "No I don't have recs for the other groups, and I would love to get any recs I can, but having gone through recruitment before, and being a sophomore, I just listed the ones that I really want to make sure I have a rec for. Thank you so much for any help you can give me!!"

Oh mylanta.

I am writing two recs for girls going to Alabama this fall. One of them has a pretty light resume but lots of contacts and is a legacy to a chapter there. The other girl has a really strong resume from a very small high school but is a first generation college student and knows very few people at Bama. They are both very outgoing girls and look quite similar to each other so it will be interesting to see how recruitment goes for both of them.

I have a question about the picture page one of the girls has given me. The page is a bit more stylized than usual and of the four pictures on the page, two of them will not help her cause (prom pic and just a really cheesy one.) The other two are nice but if I cut out the other two pics I will have to cut out one of the others, as well. Should I leave the page as is or just include one close up picture?

Leave the pic page as it is. Chances are that other rec writers will have the same one so it will end up in the chapter's hands anyway.

Irish- I laughed/groaned out loud at you're conversation with the pnm! I hope you will keep us posted on her recruitment results!

Aaaaannd I just got a request and her picture must be from a debutante ball or something. Lovely and tiny girl, dress the size of a big fluffy Mac truck, her sitting on the ground is said dress with the fluff surrounding/swallowing her up. It looks like a tiny tick's head with an engorged body. Why??

Def no rec, if possible at this point. Her stupidity has trumped her GPA. For all you know, she's been sleeping with the president's ex.


I have a smallish posse, four so far, but that's big for someone north of the Mason-Dixon Line.

[Tangent] As a geriatric counselor, I hear a lot of amusing statements from my clients, especially those with any form of dementia. One of them continually bragged about the time he worked for "President Dixon"!
[/Tangent]

[QUOTE=gee_ess;2155512]Leave the pic page as it is. Chances are that other rec writers will have the same one so it will end up in the chapter's hands anyway.

Thanks!

I just got another packet from a lovely young lady going to Alabama. So far no Auburn recs and I usually have far more of them than Bama.

Oh dear, from now on she will be remembered in rec sessions as " marshmallow girl!"

^^^ This!

I find myself in something close to this situation kind of frequently. What I try to do is ask myself if the chapter would be helped by her membership rather than what her cluelessness actually deserves. So if clueless wonder gets cut by her super desirable chapters early in the process and realizes that she now kind of likes my group, does she have the kind of traits in general, despite her pre-recruitment silliness, that make her worth recommending? If so, then I recommend her as well as I would have has she not been so ignorant. Because I think often that's what it really is. They just don't know any better. They should, but they don't. And some can be educated.