which way to go???
 

:confused:
i recently met a young lady who was interested in joining ABC organiztion. so i asked her what the problem was and she said her mother was a member of XYZ and her mother would not pay or support her to join any other organization other than XYZ.

now for u ladies of sororities, would u say this to your child or have u said this to your little girls. this young lady is really torn because she really wants to be a member of ABC.

I personally would never do that to my daughter because I remember how my cousin felt when she told my aunt that she wanted to join ABC. My aunt who is obviously in another organization went crazy. She really threw a fit and said that a member of ABC would never be apart of her family. I was a teenager at the time and I kept thinking was it that serious that you would turn away your family if someone joined another organization.

HOW WILL LIFE BE IF WE COULD'T MAKE OUR OWN DECISIONS?
 

First of all I would like to say that I am not a member of any BGLO. I have an aunt and cousin whom are members of ABC sorority. I choose not to go that route because we all are entitiled to make our own choices. My aunt was kind of upset that I chose to seek membership in XYZ sorority than ABC. Other members of my family was surprised, because they are trying to make ABC sorority a family legacy, being that my aunt is part of it. I don't think it's fair to steer a person in a direction that "YOU" want them to go. We need to be able to teach our children to make their own decisions about a matter as serioius as this one. Afterall it is a lifetime committment.

Hi sorhors:

I have a daughter and I told her that if she wanted to join a sorority other than sigma I would not pay for it but, I would support her. The only sorority I'm paying for is SGRHO. :D I feel sorry for the woman youv'e described, she's a grown woman and she needs to follow whats in her heart. As for her mother, she's has to accept this fact that her daughter is grown and can choose whatever sorority she wishes. It disheartens me to see parents who would disown, or treat their children in this manner just because they didn't choose the sorority they joined.

Just my $19.22 opinion.

Capoodles

Tinese

If this young lady really wants to join ABC, then she needs to follow her heart. Eventually, her mother will come around and be proud of her. Is her problem that she wants her mother's support or that she wants her mother to pay for it? If it is the latter, then that's on nobody but her. Her mother isn't required to pay for any sorority. If it's really important to this young lady, she'll work to get the money together to pay for it herself.

My mother is greek. And, when I first came to college, she told me that I can join any sorority that I want, but she's only paying for one. I don't have a problem with that. I would pay for any GLO that I decided to join, even if it was hers.

I have thought this over through the years because I have seen and heard of people whose desires for their organization of choice was not supported financially or emotionally. I already know that I will pay for my daughter (when I have one) to become a part of Sigma Gamma Rho, but she's on her own if it's another sorority.

I will definitely support her emotionally although I will be hurt by her decision if she chooses another. I agree with Tinese that is a shame to put a huge riff in your family because someone wants to do something different. If my child were unfortunate enough to make such a bad decision, :rolleyes: then I would at least take pride that she had the will to handle the financial part the best she could. I would be even more proud that my child had a will of her own to do what's best for her.

Question: How would you feel if your daughter only pledged Sigma because you, her aunt(s), cousin(s), etc. were Sigmas that refulsed to support her pledging ABC, and that was her only reason for becoming a member? If a child were so influenced by her mother's decision to not support her, I could see someone pledging an organization without any real heart in it. That's the outcome we should all try to avoid.

Sorry for the length :)

jojapeach

i agree
 

i agree with you jopapeach,

i wouldnt want my daughter (if i had one) to join sigma just cause i am one. All of our organizations are far too many t-shirt wearers as it is.

I have a younger sister who will be transfering to a university next fall and i will support her emotionally (and even financially if she needed it) if she choose to pledge, regardless of the organization.

I say she do what she wants to do. Her mom will understand. I however, like her mom would not pay for anything other than ZPHIB :D

Good question SoRHOr.... I would NEVER pressure my daughter(if I had one) into pledging Sigma and I wouldn't let my relatives (if they were SGRHOS)... Choosing an organization that you want to be apart of should come from YOUR heart....This is a life long commitment. I know a young lady who was in a situation like this...Her mother was the advisor to a certain org..and her daughter wanted to pledge another org...She went as far as to try and find something out about this org that would get them suspended off campus!!!! I thought that was soooo childish and immature.. The young lady decided to pledge her mother's org and needless to say it was obivious(sp?) that she didn't want to be apart of that organization...I would never make my child feel like that...I would support her emotionally and finanically.. :)It would be a good feeling to SGRHO events with your daughter as your sorhor!!!!! :D

This bothers me so much. I just became a member of this lovely sorority, and I don't understand why someone WOULD choose another sorority, however I would support my daughter in whatever she decides to do. That's just like if your daughter told you she was gay, would you not support your daughter then? No matter what my child decides to do she will have my support. My mom is not a member of any organization, but she still didn't support my decision to join this sorority and that really hurts to know that something you love is not supported by the one's you love.

Sorors and Friends,

This is a very interesting topic and originally I skipped it, however, now that I really think about it I have some comments. I really would hope that my daughter went my way. A lot of times women of greekdom have daughters and they never really introduce their sorority to them when they enter into this world. I really feel that a soror has to stay active and bring the child around other members of that organization who are hardworking, dedicated, intelligent, and positive women. Women of greekdom we cannot expect our children (daughters) to simply become members of our perspective organizations if we never show them the true sisterhood.

Serioussigma22;)

The way to go is SGRho!
 

I was thinking about this today. If I have a daughter, I would want her to be HAPPY where ever she decides to go. I would support her, she is my flesh and blood BUT I will only pay $$$ if she goes SGRho.:D She's on her own with anything else.

I was wondering if anyone thought about if their daughter(s) joined a NON-NPHC. Would you still support her/them emotionaly, or with $$$ ?

i will be honest, i will support any decision my daughter (if i have one) were to make as my parents did for me (my mother is an SGRho and my father a Kappa) BUT i will spend MY money on Z Phi B. :D

Okay...
 

I have two sisters in college and I have told them that I would support them no matter what choice they make (emotionally), but I am not writing any checks to anybody other than for Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc.

If I had a daughter who wanted to pledge, she would get the same treatment. I would love and support her decisions (and eventually let her come home for holidays--just kidding), but in the NPHC, I will only foot the bill for the rubies and pearls.

The only other org I would pay for would be an honor society or professional society .

:)TRSimon

I would NEVER tell my daughter that I wouldn't support her decision to join an organization other than DST. To me, that is just not right for a parent to do. I do not want my daughter to be a Delta just because I'm one. I want her to find an organization (if she is even interested in sororities) that suits her needs the best and that she will be productively involved in.

As far as writing checks are concerned, chances are she will be required to pay her own dues just like I'm doing right now. Sororities are lifetime commitments, so why not let her finance her commitment up front since she is going to have to do it for the rest of her life. My motto is: "Don't join/buy/commit to nothin' that you can't afford to pay for yourself!"

Okay, okay. Exceptions to the motto include: car insurance, property taxes, tuition and an occassional "must have" outfit !!!!!!!;)

Sorors and friends,

I really believe that continued legacy is a matter of how sorors or member of the other three BGLOs train up their child. In my graduate chapter we have several older sorors who daughters are members of Sigma, however, we have three older sorors who's daughters went another way. When I asked them about their daughter's decisions they were upset, however, they admitted that they never took their daughters around other Sigma's daughters and they were inactive for about 10, 15 even 20 years.

I truly believe sorors that you have to expose your little girls to the sisterhood if you want her to share and experience the love of this wonderful sorority. I wouldn't seek out an organization even if my mother, aunts, cousins, sisters were part of that sisterhood and I didn't see them actively involved in their perspective organizations. I need to know what they are all about before I commit my time and energy to that organization! The moral of the story is stay active, stay positive, and bring your daughters around the sisterhood, make them rhoers, let them help out with the community service projects and there is a good chance that she or they will have the strong desire to go your way!!! ;)

This is getting long, however, I don't have a child but if I did I would really not be upset with her because I didn't do my job raising her to really know SGRHO! And I'm still not paying for my child to go another way.

Serioussigma22

flip side
 

Great topic, Greek Sisters! I only have sons so I will not have to deal on this level.

However, what about the flip side of this situation? Could you truthfully admit if your daughter was NOT XYZ material? Would you still support her if she wanted to pledge your org? I know we all would like to hope that we instilled our values in our children but there are situations where the apple falls very far from the tree. Would you then support (and pay!) for her to join a diferent sorority?

Re: flip side
 

**********
Soror, my parents are WXYZ that's all I was exposed to until I was about 17 and about to go away to college. When I told my mom what my goal was at the age of 18, she took it well. She also knew that I meant it because....I am now a 35 year old neo and my parents gave me sooooo much support during my process. In her heart, my mom knew that DST was right for me even though it wasn't her organization of choice. Now we all have some good natured fun about my choice and their choices! I always say that "I chose best" and mom follows up with "for you"!

I have a daughter who is 11 years old and if she wanted to join another organization, then that's fine with me. I wouldn't want her to feel as if she had to join DST just to please me. Also, if I knew she wasn't DST material or that her reasons for joining were off-base then I admit that I wouldn't support her in her decision...to the point of not voting in her favor (if it's an alumnae situation). Flip side, if there's another organization that she feels better suited for, then I'd pay and support her whole heartedly!

Soror, I strongly agree with that statement. I already have my eye on my 12 year old niece, and I hope to expose her to the sorority and somehow getting her involved in a Rhoers Club. (She's in Macon, and I'm in ATL, so it'll be interesting to see how everything works out.)

mccoyred has given us even more to think about. Excellent question!!! If my child or niece were not Sigma material, I wouldn't support their attempts to become a member, but I would try to consult her. Maybe she's made some poor choices that have lead to poor outcomes in her life. That could be turned around with a little coaching and a little love. Now, if I would consider her a mediocre candidate for Sigma, I would think the same for any other organization. Another way to look at it is if my daughter/niece were just another prospective. If I saw j.a.p. at a Rush and I disliked too many qualities in her, I wouldn't think highly of her going for any organization because I have too much respect for all 4 NPHC sororities. Therefore, unless she could shape up, there would be no way I would financially support her pledging any sorority.

Sorors and Greek Friends,

I see some of your points, however, the proof is in the pudding! Those sorors were inactive and did not expose their daughters to the sisterhood. I have been a Sigma since spring 83' and people haven't changed that much! Folks if you want them to go your way you have to plant the seed!

Serioussigma22

And I'm still not paying for membership into another organization! Love has nothing to do with financial support!:D

That is an interesting question. In my family I have only seen DST. So when I was deciding I gave all the organizations a fair thought before deciding that DST WAS and ALWAYS will be right for me. If my daughter decided to go the other way and I had done my part by showing her the wonderful beauty of MY organization, then there would be nothing I could do at that point but support her emotionally. I agree with the others as for the financial support. My money only comes in Crimson and Creme :p

Its Blue or White or ELSE. LOL
 

Interesting topic...my mother is a Delta and my sister and I are Zeta's. She was and still is very supportive of us. I bought her a "ZPB Mom" keychain. I personally want my children to be either Zetas or Sigmas but I would not disown them if that was not in their hearts.

LOL@ Pretty Kitty for you all telling Soror that her daughter was a "hoochie mamma", :D. It's true though--just because someone is your friend or family member doesn't necessarily mean they should also be your sorority sister!

I agree with SeriousSigma22, because I feel that my daughters (if I have any) will be so exposed to the wonder and experience that is Zeta that they should want to be a part of that (pending interest and qualification). If my daughters go another way, I would feel like I didn't do enough to show them the Zeta Way. I would be supportive, but disappointed, for the most part. Now, any sons I might have, it won't matter to me as much...they can go Sigma, Alpha or Deke :rolleyes: .

Though my mom is my soror-- she never said anything but good things about other organizations.. and when I chose AKA she was thrilled--SHE still DID NOT PAY for IT!

My daughter is due in March of next year-- and I will support her any decision she makes-- of course I want a SOROR Daughter like my mom has but
I must let her little heart lead her

She will wear PINK and GREEN until I can't make her anymore;)

i feel ya on that one. my poor little girls (if i ever have any kidz) will be dressed to kill in RHOyal blue and Gold ribbons in their hair :D

I know that I'm kind of "resurrecting" this topic, but I missed out on the interesting turn that this conversation took.

I must agree with SeriousSigma, parents do play a key role in planting the seed of interest. As I said, my mother is greek. She has been a member of her sorority for over thirty years and an active member in our area for over the past twenty. She is one of the charter members of her chapter. All of her friends are her sorority sisters. When me and my sisters were growing up, her GLO was all that we knew because she was soooo active in it. Every Saturday she was gone at a meeting or some community service event.

My sisters and I were in her sorority's youth groups. We played with her sorority sisters' kids. At parties, there were always the same familiar faces. To this day, I call my mother's sorority sisters my aunts and their children my cousins because when I was growing up, I really thought that they were. We were more like one large extended family rather than friends. I didn't even know that there were other sororities until I was thirteen. I thought that my mother's was the only one because that was all that I had been exposed to.

I say all of this not to toot my mom's horn, but to show what an influence she had on us. Both of my sisters are now members of her sorority.

On another note, my father is a Kappa. He stopped being active well before any of us were born. I didn't know that he was a member until I was in high school and I didn't know anything about Kappa Alpha Psi until I got to college to see for myself. The chapter at my school is the only one that I have ever been exposed to. If me and my sisters had been born boys, I really don't think that any of us would have been inclined towards a certain frat before entering college because of the lack of exposure. I know for myself that if I was a boy, I would not choose Kappa. The chapter at my school is suspended and since my dad is inactive, I would have no way of being exposed to it. I'd probably choose the frat that runs the yard.

Classy Statement!
 

Classy Lady, you said it all! "Exposure".

My daughter probably has been more "exposed" than she should be ;) LOL! And my poor sons, they showed up at an Omega Rho Ceremony dressed in Blue! But like my Soror Serious Sigma said "you have to plant the seed!!" EEEEEYIIIIP!

Congratulations to you Loviest 95!

I am very opinionated on this topic. I have told my fiance (who is not greek) that if our children chose to become a Zeta or Sigma I will pay for it, but if they were to chose another org they are on their own. He thinks I'm being unfair, but whatever! I have nothing but admiration for the other BGLO's, but of course, my money will go to my organization only. In the same vein, my younger sister will be going to college in a year and a half, and I have told her as well that if she ever chooses to join my org (on the undergrad level) , I will pay for it. If not, she best ask my mom for the money!!!!

To Rachel1047,

Thank you for making your valued points! I agree with you 110% about only paying if your future daughters go your way! A parent will not hate their children for selecting another organization, however, they won't see a penny of their parents dollars ;). I wouldn't have the nerve to ask a parent to pay for membership into another organization.

Sorors and sister friends you have to plant the seeds of interest at a very early age. My 9 year old niece already knows that her mommy and aunt (me) are lovely ladies of the royal blue and gold and she attends events and hangs out with other sorors' daughters. My sister from day one planted the seed with my little niece ;). Folks if you lay out the foundation for sisterhood 9 times out of 10 the young ladies will have the strong desire to become a member of that particular organization. Stay blessed!

This topic is really a hot one!


Serioussigma22 :)

SeriousSigma22 -
I agree wholeheartedly about planting the seed early. I had to share this little story. My mother is an Alpha Kappa Alpha woman, and I was exposed to AKA since before I can even remember. I just crossed this fall, and when I came home for Christmas, my mother took me into her bedroom and pulled out this folder. Inside was a page from a AKA coloring book I had colored in elementary school. The picture was of a little girl discovering the ivy vine, and there was a tree in the background with "I Love AKA" carved into it. Just looking at the picture brought tears to my eyes, and my mother told me she saved it immediately because she knew I would be her soror one day. :)

But to answer the question.... I'm not going to lie. I would be hurt if my daughter wanted to be part of another organization. However, my decision was based not only on my mother, but on what I saw when I came to college. Should my daughter decide she wants to pursue membership elsewhere, I would support that much more than I would her becoming my soror if AKA is not in her heart. But let her come ask me for money for anything else. Please. :rolleyes: :p ;)

My sister and I just recently had this discussion. Since I have joined Sigma Gamma Rho, my niece has been so happy and trying to learn as much as she can about greek life. My niece and I are very close and she likes to do the same things I have done in my life. My sister ( her mother) is interested in another sorority. My niece asked her mother if she choose Sigma Gamma Rho, how would she feel. And vice-versa with me. It made my sister and I think. We both told her that we would support her all her decisions. I had to point out to her that even though your mother didn't agree with my decision, she bought me my first keychain to encourage me in all of my endeavors. Even though I would want her to be Sigma Gamma Rho and her mother wants her to go another way. We will support her no matter what. It's about love. I love my family and what ever they want to do I support them.

I will be at her neophyte with my royal blue and gold no matter what;)


Soror Tracy

I love my 2 Rubies and 10 Pearls

I love it, I love it, I love it.;) ;) :) :D ;) :D :) ;) :D

tanget
 

What strikes me as interesting about this thread is that exposure is how my mom approached colleges. I didn't realize there were schools other than my mom's [and my :)] alma matter until I was a teenager [we had to have someoine to play footbal against ;)]. While she encourgaed me to go to her school, she never said if I went to another school she wouldn't pay for it. To this day, my mom jokingly points out that I am proof that you can brainwash your kids into picking a great school.

At a certain point, are we taking our orgs too seriously? I will love SGR forever, however, I still respect ALL GREEKS. I don't have kids, but if a young woman in my family wanted to be in a GLO, or A BGLO, and needed some cash, I would help her out.

In many message boards, people write about the sisterhood that they have enjoyed. At the end of the day I want the young ladies in my life to enjoy whatver sisterhood WORKS FOR THEM.

I WOULD NEVER PRESSURE MY DAUGHTER INTO JOINING ANY GROUP THATS HOW YOU GET PEOPLE THAT RUIN THINGS. WHEN SOMEONE DECIDES TO JOIN AN ORGANIZATION, IT SHOULD BE BECAUSE THEY LOVE IT AND WANT TO CONTINUE A BEAUTIFUL LEGACY THAT MEANS SOMETHING TO HER, NOT JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE TOLD HER SHE HAD TO. I DONT FEEL THEY WOULD APPRECIATE IT . I THINK I WOULD MAYBE EVEN SUPPORT FINANCIALLY BECAUSE I WOULD WANT HER TO MAKE THE ORGANIZATION AND NOT THE OPPOSITE. BUT THEN AGAIN I AM NOT GREEK SO I DONT KNOW HOW IT FEELS FROM MANY OF YOUR POINTS OF VIEWS.

Re: tanget
 

I TOTALLY AGREE!!!!! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT AND IT DOESNT SEEM LIKE A LOT OF GREEKS KNOW THIS! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT AND I FEEL THAT GREEKS SHOULD DO MORE TO SHOW THAT THEY RESPECT EACH OTHER. ESPECIALLY IN THE BGLOS.

Edited for formatting-TRS