Resigning
 

Today, a co-worker, who partially works on my team, resigned. After the news broke, my team was called to a quick pow wow with another team that we work very closely with (and the woman who resigned is part of both of these teams). The supervisors on this team wanted to let everyone know what was going on and just give everyone a heads up that they're working out how to cover for her while they find a replacement.

But then they wanted to also let us know that there's a right way and a wrong way to leave our company. Apparently, when the co-worker went to resign, she went to the head of the office to do so (which is not unheard of, especially because the head of the office works directly with my team and this other team, and therefore works with this co-worker). From what I hear, things didn't go very well. We were told by the supervisors from the other team that head of the office takes resigning very personally and gets upset when we don't go to her first with any issues we are having. They assured us that if we are thinking about leaving because you are unhappy or want to try new things, to please talk to head of office first because this they will be helpful in trying to make things better for you at the company OR get you in touch with the right people to find a new job.

:confused:

After the little pow-wow, I talked to my direct supervisors on my team because this sounded like crazy talk to me. Fortunately, I wasn't alone in this feeling. When I'm ready to leave (because I will leave this company eventually...I enjoy it but there's only so much room to grow), I don't want to have to tell the head of my office that I'm interviewing. To me that screams, might as well put a giant target on my back. I just can't comprehend this. The rationale that the other teams sups tried to give is that this IS a small industry, you will cross paths again, and you don't want to have her on your bad side.

So, what are your thoughts GC? Do you play along and humor the boss and let them know when you're interviewing elsewhere? Or do you go about your business, interview in private and resign without any warning?

You should give your two weeks notice, always***. Whether or not you give more notice once you have a job lined up really depends on:

1) How you expect your employer to react and/or how she has reacted to other employees leaving.

2) Your personal situation, i.e. if you tried to give a month's notice and you were immediately escorted out, would you be totally screwed, financially?

When I left my most recent job to go back to school, I gave about six weeks notice, but I knew that my boss would be happy for me and I knew that if they showed me the door, my insurance would carry through the end of the month when my school insurance picked up.

As far as going to them before you are even sure you will leave: well, why are you leaving? Lots of times, people resign from jobs for reasons that can not be remedied. If you feel there is no room for growth, you can probably assess if that's even something that can be addressed. Sure, I believe in talking to my manager and asking for things like better projects, more money, more flexible hours, etc., but usually when people leave, there is a reason that goes beyond what the current company can provide.

BTW, I think that Alison Green's blog over at http://www.askamanager.org/ is a great one, and she regularly addresses questions like these.

ETA: ***Not if you are being harassed or something like that, but *almost* always.

Bosses who want you to do this are crazypants. I am in that situation now and I am miserable. I was the runner up for a senior leadership position at a small nonprofit, now I am stuck in this limbo. I am miserable and depressed and if I had to do it over again, I would absolutely NOT tell anyone I was interviewing. And I only told them because early on they made a point to say "Oh, it's okay if you want to leave because we're a family and we understand."

RED FLAG NUMBER ONE: Bosses who tell you they're a family. YOU DON'T HAVE MY LAST NAME CRAZY LADY.

I've only resigned once. I had actually just had my yearly evaluation, and it went great. However, I was being pigeon-holed into being an expert in an area that I did not like. I began to look for better opportunities. I found one. Better pay, better benefits, more interesting work. As much as I liked and respected my current team and bosses, NO WAY would I have told them I was interviewing, or even looking for something else. That is just asking to get fired. I approached my immediate boss and gave him my two weeks. He was very disappointed (rightly so, because I'm awesome), and he asked for the opportunity to match what I was being offered. He and I both went to another one of the managers, and she was also disappointed. She made some phone calls, and they could not even come close to matching what my new offer was.

If you really want to stay with your current company, but are unhappy with your position/pay/responsibilities, they by all means go to your boss. Tell them you are hoping to broaden your skill set, etc, etc. DO NOT say "I'm going to search for something else if you don't make my job better." You have to put a positive spin on it in which you are looking to develop personally and professionally. But everyone knows that there often comes a time where no amount of money or promises will make you stay. If that's the case, then do your searching and interviewing quietly.

And yes, always give 2 weeks notice.

Would you have stayed if they had matched it? I think that it's a very bad idea to stay once you've told them you were ready to leave.

They're crazy.

If they're going to take it personally that you are resigning, they are going to take it personally that you are unhappy or have a problem. They will make your life miserable and you won't have a way out.

I never tell my employer if I am interviewing. I tell them that I am leaving when I turn in my two weeks notice.

Whoops! I meant to say that she did give two weeks noticed. Are "resigning" and giving "two weeks notice" not quite the same thing? We were discussing it at work and using those words interchangeably.

The reason I will eventually look for a new job is 1) I want to work on a different account and 2) I want to gain experience within a specific job function. Currently, my agency's office in my city is pretty small and we only have a few different accounts. If there's no openings on any of those accounts and want to work on something new, you're kind of SOL and would have to look for a new job.

My plan is to talk to my superiors and tell them that I'm interested in growing by moving a new account and gaining experience in that particular job function, which is the truth. If they can't accommodate that, then it's time to move else where. I think it's a fair balance of "coming to them" with my concerns, yet keeping it quiet that I'm interviewing.

Not in this case. I had been promised for over a year that I would be brought into a different project management area. I talked to several of the other PMs on a bi-monthly basis about it, and it never went anywhere. They would have had to significantly beat my new offer.

I've been at my company six years since I tried to resign with a better offer (that my current company beat).

I'm nervous about resigning to go to the NY Film Academy. There is a precedence in my position of giving a LOOONG notice. I trained with the outgoing person for six weeks - she trained with the person before her for six months. I'll probably give a month notice. I don't feel more is necessary because there is a woman working part time with me now (my boss' sons' girlfriend/babymama) that could easily put her kid in daycare and go fulltime, and she's learned the essential functions of my job.

The more I think about this, the more I wonder if I misinterpreted things. They couldn't POSSIBLY mean that I should tell my bosses that I'm interviewing at other companies...they must have meant to keep open communication and talk to them about concerns...right, right??!!!

You can more or less use "resigning" and "giving notice" interchangeably. Sometimes, people give more or less than two weeks, though, obviously.

What you are proposing is exactly what you should do. In theory, your managers should be interested in your job satisfaction and want to create a viable career path for you to the best of their abilities. If you are asking for something for which they don't see you as a good fit, they should give concrete examples of things you could do to get to that point.

Sometimes, though, no matter how valued you are, their hands are tied, and you have no choice but to look elsewhere. You will know when that happens, and there is no point in telling your managers that you are looking, because there is nothing they would be able to do about it.

My thoughts:
1) Do NOT tell your bosses that you are interviewing elsewhere. They don't have the right to know that information.
In my limited experience, potential employers are generally understanding that the people who are applying for their vacancies are likely already employed, and are discrete about that information, even in small industries. In many cases, they prefer to know that you are still employed somewhere, because it indicates that you are a currently valued quantity by someone.
Case in point: several years ago a job opportunity came my way at an office where my supervisor used to work. I was directly asked during one of the interviews if she knew I was interviewing, and I honestly replied that she didn't. My soon-to-be supervisor said that it was perfectly fine, they just wanted to know so they could handle things accordingly (read: delicately).

2) You owe your employer two weeks' notice, and whatever time frame you originally agreed to work for them. For me, I've usually been told that a commitment of at least a year was expected. Acceptable reasons to leave DO NOT include a "better opportunity at another company" or graduate school, but they do include medical issues, forced relocation due to a spouse's employment, etc.

3) If your salary is the primary reason to leave your company, then be aware that you can only use the "I have a better offer elsewhere" card ONCE to negotiate a salary bump.

4) Sometimes a great job opportunity comes your way even when you're not looking. It's not always a matter of being unhappy with your current position, but sometimes a matter of a really great job that you'd be a fool to pass up.

In this day and age, I think that most opportunities for advancement will come from moving to another employer, especially in small companies or industries. Especially at smaller companies, they won't necessarily have a more senior opening for you when you're ready and/or when you need a salary boost. I feel like most folks understand that.

Here's one that's particularly relevant:

http://www.askamanager.org/2009/11/s...ce-that-i.html

^^ Great blog, thanks for sharing!

I had a boss who asked me to tell him if I was ever looking for a job. It was a small office and we worked great together. I did tell him when I'd applied for a job. It was a dream job that I didn't think I'd get, but I told him anyway. I did end up getting the job (turned out to be a NIGHTMARE) but he was cool about the whole thing. I also quit a job via one page faxed resignation letter. I also quit a job while oversharing what the new job was. They don't get to know anything you don't want to share, and that's something I wish I'd known at the time. I didn't consider the two companies competitors, but they did so they had me do a very unceremonious departure so I wouldn't steal client lists, which would have been of absolutely zero benefit to me and my new job.

I do think if the original poster meant the company had a meeting to say (apparently badly) if you're having a problem, come to us so we can try to fix it before you bail, that's a perfectly good thing to say in a meeting. It just sounds like they said it so badly that people walked away with a completely different sense of the purpose. I wouldn't recommend doing what I said I did. It was a risk and I really worried about doing it, but I trusted my gut with this particular boss in this particular scenario. I don't think I'd ever do it again.

It sounds like the managers were just telling people that rather than looking elsewhere because they're unhappy, they would like for people to come to them with their concerns so they can be remedied (before people feel the need to resign). Too many people are non-confrontational to the point of being passive aggressive; most employers/managers would be very open to making changes within their organizations/teams if they knew people were unhappy...but if you don't tell them, they don't find out until it is too late.

Regarding something LAblondeGPhi said above, I disagree that people have an obligation to stay in a position or at an employer for any established period of time, with exception of teachers and positions like that. I would never make any type of agreement to stay someplace (in my profession) for a set period of time, and I would be immediately suspicious of any employer who suggested it to me. A good place to work would never have to worry about that type of thing.

LOL. I don't know. I wasn't there. It's not a bad idea to bring concerns to your bosses and give them a chance to address them before looking. Also, if you want to move up, it's not a bad idea to talk to them about that.

"Giving notice" and "resigning" are used interchangeably in my area.

So, I have a question.....

If I get a new job, do I have to tell my current job where I'll be working? What if I just plain don't want them to know my business. Is that rude if I don't tell them?

No. If the context of your employment does not warrant an announcement like this and you do not feel comfortable, do not do it.

Telling where you will be working happens in some professions because people are leaving "on good terms" and therefore they are sharing the good news with everyone. It also happens because the current job was used for references for the new job and we will see each other at professional events and so forth. People would have no choice but to know your business because they knew your business when you were "not so secretly" (people talk) applying for the new position.

Thankies.

Even though I am pretty sure I will be leaving on good terms, I do not consider these people good friends. I would rather not be findable to them, at least not at first.

I understand. They will still be able to find you because you will leave an invisible trail like those RAID ant commercials. :p

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect someone you hire to stay for at least a year or two. Jumping around more often than that can be a real problem on your resume. If ONE TIME a job is a bad fit and you leave a few months in, that's one thing, but it's certainly not a good habit to be staying at jobs less than 2-3 years.

It's not unreasonable to want that of a new hire, but there's not really anything, as an employer, you can do about it. As the new hire, it behooves you to stick it out for awhile, especially if you're right out of college.

But if I as a 46 year old woman with LOTS of work experience get into a job that I immediately realize is bad news quits, that's a different thing. But hopefully by this point in my life, I can see the telltale signs of a bad employer from the interview. I had one interview that just didn't seem right. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it seemed like she needed me to be desperate for the job. After the interview I mentioned the experience to another woman who happened to know the company and she confirmed my doubts. Apparently the boss was a complete, to the bizarre OCD extent, control freak, and would only hire someone who would HAVE to put up with her crap. Anyone with any dignity would be outta there.

One of the best questions to ask in an interview? What is your employee retention rate? Probably worded more judiciously than that, but if most of the employees have been there less than a year, that's a bad sign.

We had a couple people at my last job end up staying after receiving another offer. One was NOT offered a match and stayed anyway, which is really bizarre. She was trying to negotiate a match and when she didn't, she still didn't take the new job. So weird. She has lost all bargaining power and respect, I think.

I'm thinking that the person who resigned gave them all kinds of dirt about stuff that was going on or that upset her but she never talked to anybody about it before. So if she gave all these reasons for quitting but never tried to make it better by communicating concerns, then that could be upsetting to an employer, I would think.

There was a guy in our division (not my department) who left his laptop locked on his desk, put the key in the overhead bin, left for the day and just never came back. A few days later, he emailed his boss and said he was done. However, his boss was a freakin' maniac who regularly screamed at her staff in front of outside customers/vendors. After he left in that way, the other staff were each interviewed privately and the director found out how crazy their team lead was. Their team lead is no longer there. Nobody had spoken up about how she humiliated them in front of CUSTOMERS. You do need to speak up if things aren't right.

It is not required.

I've left quite a few jobs after finding a new job. The first one, the new boss didn't like me anyway and had selected a group of us to treat poorly to get us to quit so I felt no guilt, no sadness. I gave a month, which was requested at that job for salaried employees. Second job, similar... they were purposely making life miserable for a couple of us. Two of us got jobs at a different hospital, on the same unit, working together...lol. We gave our notice on the same day, left on the same day, and started our new jobs together. That felt good. Third job- harder to leave. It wasn't the people, it wasn't the job itself so much, but my dream job as an OT had come up and I couldn't pass it up. It was closer to home, adolescent day treatment.. perfect! That job was perfect until budget cuts came and they consolidated staff more and more and there were rumors that we were going to close. I started looking.. it was a self preservation thing. I realized that all of the adolescent programs within driving distance had closed and decided to get a Microsoft certification and turn my computer hobby into a career. My boss knew I was working on that certification and that I would eventually leave. I transferred within the same health system though and there was no animosity. That program closed a year after I left. Had I stayed, I'd have been bumped into a physical rehab job at entry level pay (because I had no physical rehab experience, even though I had 13 years career experience). I stayed at that IT job for 11 years.. my longest job to date. 17 years with that health system in total. It was extremely difficult to leave that job. I was in tears when I talked to my immediate boss. He was excited for me but sad that I was leaving. They knew I was in a dead end job and would need to leave to be able to advance. I had outgrown my job even though they tried really hard to continue to give me projects that would challenge me in my interest area. I'm in touch with all of them still and they are like a family to me. I love those people.

And now? I've been in this new job for almost a year. I was miserable at first. My boss sucked. The upper level bosses are two faced back stabbing cut throat types. Then my new boss came on board. He was great. He shielded us from the political crap and took it all on himself. He had our backs always. I have learned a ton from him since he started in September. But... they're putting him on a different project for the next 12-18 months and we'll be temporarily reporting to one of the upper level bosses who I don't trust at all. I'm very stressed about this. I have people trying to recruit me to other positions at this point. I have this very desirable certification. I'm not sure this particular job is a great fit. There are other related things I think I would enjoy more. It would be a great time to seek out other opportunities.. BUT... They have a rule that you have to reimburse them for any tuition reimbursement monies they've paid in the last 12 months if you leave. I maxed that out so right now, I'd owe them $10,500. That's $10,500 more than I can afford to pay them back. So I'm sitting tight, at least until next April, I think. Unless I find a new employer who is willing to pay that out for me.

I'm sad that my boss is being taken away from us. I think he'll end up being the Chief Information Security Officer. He's smart and he knows how to get things done. He's awesome and I'm bummed he won't be ours anymore :( When/if I resign from this position, I'm simply going to say that I decided that audit isn't my niche. They talked me into considering audit because they thought my skill set fit this position. It does fit, but I don't enjoy the work. I've seen some jobs lately that I think would be a great fit.. Lead Security Awareness Trainer.. which would be facilitating security awareness training, developing the materials, etc. I would LOVE that. I've considered doing that just as a consultant someday, traveling around to train people. I've considered developing an adolescent Internet safety course geared toward 6th/7th graders (or maybe even pre-teen courses) and facilitating those workshops as a traveling consultant at different schools. But.. there's that darn tuition reimbursement issue. So I will wait and I will trust that my perfect job will appear when I am ready for it.

Wow... I've been wanting to get that off my chest. I had no intention of writing a novel here...lol.