Arggg get out of here...
 

Looking for some pointers to get rid of jehovah's witnesses...

I'm usually (in real life) a really nice guy and can't be direct or flat out mean to solicitors. But now i'm in a bit of a hole, because i didn't tell these ppl to go away the first time they think i'm their school-yard chum and have stopped by a few more times. Why the hell did i give them my first name? That was not smart, now i'm probably signed up for some cult.

do they seriously think i'm gonna read "who will protect the web of life"?
not me, get off my lawn.

When i was little we used to hide from them when they would show up at our door..just don't answer the door, eventually (maybe, hopefully), they will stop showing up..

I'm all for the, "I'm sorry, but I worship satan" response...it turns heads and gets them away!

d

I Thank them for their time and say i have a church affiliation!

I tell them that I am Anglican and they smile with the HUH look on the face!

Church Of England I then say in response!:D

I would have been on the cover of Life Mag. at Margret Trumans wedding but was to short!:( Have not like her since!:mad:

Never say old to and old person, tell them they are Mature!;)

HEEHHEHE

That reminds me of a similar situaton I had a couple years ago while at an brothers house after school. We were just hanging out and these 2 guys come up to the door and start asking him about god and if he was interested in talking with them about god ect ect. So he says no not really, and he doesnt have any time right now. So then the guy asks if he has any roommates that would be interested. Well then the guy looks at me and asks me if I wanted to talk with them. I said sure and told them to come back the next day about 2(remember this isnt my house). So they got all excited and said OK sir we will be back tomorrow. So they left and I just looked at my brother and started laughing my ass off! He was kind pissed but he was laughing aswell. I dont think they came back though.


I would just tell them that your not really interested.

I only had a Jehovah's Witness stop by once during college. She was wearing a really nice, expensive looking fur coat. After handing me an unwanted religious magazine - I think it was called the Lighthouse or something like that - she asked me if I would make a donation to her organization. I told her, "Ma'am, I'm a college student who barely has the money to pay rent and utilities each month. Judging by your coat, it seems more appropriate that I ask you for a donation."

I never had anyone soliciting for money at my house again.

**Disclaimer: I've got some JW friends, so I know that it's part of their religion to go door to door spreading their beliefs to everyone. I've got no problem with that, because all you have to say is "Thank you, but I'm not interested. I already have a church that I'm happy with."

However, I draw the line at people decked out in expensive furs asking me for money.***

People who want to tell you about their religion usually don't want to hear about yours. Some Jehovahs Witnesses once knocked on the door of my chaplain's house and he invited them in and started preaching his version of religion. They didn't know how to respond so they quickly left. Usually just saying your not interested sends the message across.

Speaking in a foreign language (fake or real) always gets rid of them.

I don't remember if it was JV's or Mormon's who stopped by, but one of my guy friends finally got fed up with them stopping by. He just answered the door naked, and they left and he hasn't had one person come back!

The one thing I love tho, my fiance had a couple of Mormon friends, and we had caller ID. When they called from the Church to talk to him, it would show up on the caller ID as "Jesus Christ"
(Jesus Christ churh of Latter Day Saints) We cracked up the first time it happened, and now we tell people that Jesus Christ is calling! :D

alrighty, let's explain my situation a little more...
My living arrangement is a shared-apartment, such so anyone can ring my bell and the only way for my knowing is to open the door. Almost all the time it's a roommate looking to chill or a buddy or something, so i don't anticipate strangers being there.

Second point - the first time they showed up, there was this same chick (the leader i guess) and another (who i should point out was pretty hot). It was not long after the tragedy that happened on sept. 11th and i wasn't sure exactly what cause they were representing. They didn't say exactly who they were - had i known they would be jehovah's crew i would have gotten rid of them from the beginning.

Also, i still have no idea what these ppl want, they didn't say they were looking for members or donations so i wasn't sure what to say to them. I just accept these crazy fliers and they're off.

great ideas though guys, thanks - yes i read your ideas, very interesting would you like to hear some of mine - phamphet for whatever - devil, anglican church, flier from radioshack, etc.

Now that i remember it, they were all decked out in some nice clothes, hmmmm....

Just carve an inverted pentagram on the door and they wont bother you:eek: :D

So, my campus job is doing phone surveys. And we were doing this dumb survey calling people in Arkansas about the water flows over a dam.

I get this one lady, who seems normal. Until I ask her her occupation. She goes into the fact that she's only a housewife, etc, how she spends her life going door to door as a Jehovah's Witness.

And after a 5 min spiel about it, she asks me "And what do YOU think about that?"

I said "um, I'm not allowed to answer any questions." I tried to procede with the survey and she hung up on me!:mad: :o :confused:

Say your a mormon . . . They don't like Mormons.

But, if they were hot . . you should have invited them in, spent some time with them, and convinced them to come again . . .

PErsonally, the Jehova's Witnesses that came to my door were dried up and seemingly on their way to verify heaven shortly.

If I had time I would listen courteously to their spiel because I figured their belief was probably the most important thing in their lives. So if someone was going to take the time to share the most important thing they have with me, the least I could do as a fellow human being was grant them a few minutes of attention. If I was otherwise occupied they left politely and quickly.

I know a lot of Witnesses. In some areas, they've actually slowed down on going door-to-door in recent years, they feel like the end is nigh and if people are seriously interested, they'll come to them.

The Mormons, however, are still doing the door-to-door thing.

I just thought of another effective ploy that my sister unwittingly discovered. Her toddler was howling so she was standing with her back to the screen door, pretending to cry too--she really got into it, even inserting a few wolf howls.

Then she turned around and beheld a group of shocked Mormons at the door. They never bugged her again.

My dad always told me to tell them "I'm Catholic" :rolleyes: (even if I'm not - I'm Lutheran).

My mom used to get out the Bible, look up the quotes they quoted, and say "Well you forgot this part before it that changes the meaning of what you are saying entirely." It made them go.

However, I have to say I like the answer the door naked idea. Especially if you are wearing a fur hat, a facial mask, or something equally bizarre.

A bit on topic here. Lil G, you ever get those damn raccoons?

We have some family friends (we'll call them the "E's") that for some reason, have A LOT of very religious people in their neighborhood ALL the time. Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, Baptists, all kinds of people. Mr. E says he feels pretty darn special that so many people want him to save his soul. He actually doesn't mind talking to them. Figures if he talks to some of these people, it's like going to church except he doesn't have to get dressed up. :) Funny story though...

They have a young daughter. Mr. E was home watching her while Mrs. E was running errands. Mr. E was watching TV and his daughter was playing with her dolls and combing their hair, braiding it, etc. Then she said, "Daddy let me do your hair? Please? please?" Being the nice daddy that he is, he said ok. So she put a whole lot of little barrettes in his hair - you know the plastic ones that come in a lot of colors? So his hair is sticking up all over his head in little tufts with all these little barrettes. She tells him he is BEAUTIFUL. Sweet Kodak moment, etc.

Well, a little while later, she goes off to her room to play more. Mr. E just sits there and continues to watch TV.

The doorbell rings. Jehovah Witnesses, of course. For some reason, they have really weird expressions on their faces. He invites them in. Now remember - the little girl is in her room and not really making any noise. They only see Mr. E., a grown man, all by himself, with this interesting hairstyle. ;) They chat for a bit but after only a minute or two they make excuses and leave.

Mr. E is puzzled, then walks to the back of the house to check on his daughter.

...passes a hallway mirror...

...and suddenly achieves enlightenment :)

I had a friend in high school whose parents dragged him to one of those very fundamental Baptist churches 3 - 4 times a week. Needless to say, in high school he rebelled and started wearing all black, listening to Marilyn Manson and NIN, etc. To this day I don't think he actually liked the music so much as he liked that it bothered his parents.

He LOVED jehovah's Witnesses. They would come to the door and quote Bible verses. He would correct them - he always knew it way better than they did.

But the funniest has to be something he said when a bunch of us were over at his house...

JW guy: "Do you know that the end of the world is coming?"

My friend: "You mean the Apocalpyse?"

JW guy: "Yes! Are you prepared for it?"

Friend: "Prepared? Hell, I plan to be instrumental in CAUSING it. I've spent the last few years gathering the people and materials I'll need. See you then I guess." ...then he just STARED at the JW guy...

Now mind you, my friend said all this VERY calmly, like he was just telling someone that the weather report.

The poor JW guy just turned white and backed away from the door. My friend did not move and continued to stare until the guy actually started running. We all felt kinda bad, but oh, what a laugh.

For some reason, the JW's skipped their house after that.

I LOVE dzrose's response. However, I usually just look at my watch and say "Oh my gosh, look at the time, I'm late for my coven meeting!"

Also, speaking French sometimes works.

Sometimes I get offended and say things like "How dare you insult me like that, tell me that the religion I have followed all my life is somehow WRONG and" blah blah blah I start screaming and carrying on. In truuth I AM very insulted by those who try to push their religious beliefs on others, so it's not that far a stretch.

Or I act like I don't understand a word they're saying. I smile stupidly, nod, and say, Yes, No, thank you, fish sticks, etc.

http://eatabagbuddy.50megs.com/new3.jpg

...broad daylight, they must be rabid, maybe unleash those bastards on J's crew.

Wow it is rare to see them at daytime. They must be plotting against you and your roomates

damn lil g you have to seek and destroy those beasts

Why don't you use the racoon to combat the JW? Or walk to the door naked and professed yourself as Jehovah and say that you were wrong. That Don King is the true path to salvation.

yeah i'm missing something here, there must be a solution to both problems. They're both scavengers, persistent as hell and deal exclusively in garbage...role reversal maybe? Shoot paintballs at the JW and replace the garbage bags with jehova's fliers.

btw, what's with you yanks and answering the door naked? I could see that causing a lot more problems when someone like my landlord comes knocking for something.