Pref dress! (not normal question)
 

Hi I'm going to be rushing next year and our pref night is divided into two days so I need two dresses! It's not like the normal pref it says to wear a dress that you would wear to church... I've never worn a dress to church, usually in my uniform for some sport. It also says that semi formal or cocktail dresses are too formal. I have a dress from J. Crew that I think I'm going to wear but does anyone else have any suggestions! Anything will help! I have a dress from vineyard vines I'm wearing for graduation but I'm worried it will be too informal.

This is far from a "not normal" question.

That being said, we really can't tell you without knowing which school, but its not always a good idea to reveal that info.

You're going to be going to different chapters - you will not see the same chapter twice at pref. Unless you sweat like crazy, you don't need two dresses. It's unlikely you will be going to more than 3 parties, none of which should last more than an hour & a half.

And once again (directed to the school's instructions, not to you, OP) this is why the whole "wear a dress you'd wear to church" directive needs to be eradicated once and for all.

It sounds to me like they want to emphasize that you should wear a nice "daytime" dress, not an "evening" dress. So, probably not black, not strapless, not shiny fabric, etc. Cotton fabrics would probably work well, but try to get something that doesn't show the wrinkles. Your dresses sound good, or maybe Lilly Pulitzer, if it isn't too "beachy". Pick something flattering, for sure.

You know what would be a great way to find ideas for pref? Search the HUNDREDS of threads on this topic.

But she's not a normal snowflake. She's a unique snowflake. :p

I knew what was in this thread before I clicked on it. :p

you know you guys are very mean. i just wanted a little bit of help and i knew that if i didnt add anything to the question no one would click on it. i know there are many other threads about pref dresses and i have read them thank you very much but none of them had the same specificity as my schools. that being said thank you to sciencewoman for the help.

Because we just HATE playing "Dress the PNM", and that's why all those OTHER "normal" Pref dress threads have no responses. Oh, wait...

You need to ease up. If it takes this amount of ribbing to get you all upset, you have a tough row to hoe ahead of you. It's time to start growing a thicker skin.

I would suggest, if you really don't know what type of dress a girl would wear to church, that you ask people around you, preferably someone who is a sorority member at your school. Another description might be a nice sundress. A brushed cotton, for example. Whereas a print might not be appropriate for a cocktail party, it would likely be perfectly cute at this type of party. And as 33girl said, you only need one dress. Even if you have a full party schedule for preference, you'd still only be in the dress for less than 5 hours total. Go to the first night stuff, go home, take it off, hang it straight up (throw it in the shower near the steam if it needs it), and it should be just fine to wear the next day.

But I've never heard of dividing pref over 2 nights and it seems like a remarkably bad idea. Are you sure you have that right?

Thank you so much. Normally I'm a very calm person but you wouldn't be able to tell the only thing that set me off was I have seen this happen on multiple other pnm's posts and I just think that it's very disappointing that ladies would act this way when they are just trying to reach out for help.

Now that you have pointed it out I understand that I only need one dress I wasn't really thinking but yes it is over two nights when I saw it I had the same feeling that it was quite strange my only thought is since it is after class they wanted to make it so you could have the most time possible with each chapter.

Have you figured out WHY some PNMs get "mean" responses?

They usually fall into a few categories:
1. Entitlement issues
2. Vague/thoughtless questions (if you can't take the time to form a specific question, we're certainly not going to "tell you everything about rush at XYZ")
3. Questions that have been answered ad nauseum
4. Attention whoring (ie, your post - creating purposely misleading titles to get more attention in your thread)
5. Rude or immediately defensive initial posts

Most PNMs that come with polite, well thought out questions, typed with proper grammar, get good answers or are shown where to find answers. Leading off with "I did a search but I couldn't find what I was looking for..." (after having actually done days search so you don't look like a moron when someone brings up 8 threads with your answer) also shows that you have put in your part since you are expecting help from others.

swerve/
As a family law litigator, I used to tell folks to dress for a court hearing/trial like they "were going to Church." As a high church Episcopalian this seemed to be perfectly straight forward description from my apparently narrow point of view. Then one day, a divorce client showed up for trial in worn jeans, running shoes, and a HOODIE in a camoflauge pattern that included olive drab and pink splotches. Now I tell my clients to dress as if there were attending their FAVORITE grandmother's funeral.
/end swerve

swerve/
As a family law litigator, I used to tell folks to dress for a court hearing/trial like they "were going to Church." As a high church Episcopalian this seemed to be perfectly straight forward description from my apparently narrow point of view. Then one day, a divorce client showed up for trial in worn jeans, running shoes, and a HOODIE in a camoflauge pattern that included olive drab and pink splotches. Now I tell my clients to dress as if they were attending their FAVORITE grandmother's funeral.
/end swerve

At my church we have four ushers. Our pastor requests that they coordinate and one wear a suit, one wear jeans, and the other two somewhere between (khakis, polos, sundresses, capris, etc). This way, whenever someone new comes to our church, they'll feel appropriately dressed whatever they are wearing. While I generally dress nicer for church than work, I still like this sentiment. I still don't like the two women who let their kids come in ripped WWE Undertaker tshirts and other ridiculous graphic tshirts).

WhiteDaisy128 put together a bunch of suggestions a couple of years ago. It's a great thread:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ght=whitedaisy

Many years ago, I wore my graduation dress for pref. It was pretty formal, though -below the knee, short sleeves, high collar. To me "wear a dress that you would wear to church" means a day dress that is not too short (at the knee or longer), not too low cut, and has sleeves and a back. (No straps. No tubetop looking tops. It's sleeveless the shoulder straps should be at least two-three inches wide. No one shoulder dresses. No halter tops.)

If you look at that thread, look at the outfits labeled "skit night" on the first page. They would probably work for you. (It sounds like your school has a less formal pref night than other places do.)

You might also want to check with your school's Panhel and see if they publish a style guide for recruitment. It's really your best bet. Or search Greek Chat for threads about recruitment at your school.

Thank you everyone! I guess I'm gonna have to rethink cause all the dresses I was considering were strapless, but not low cut. I appreciate everyone's help and the links. I guess when I searched I may not have been specific enough or read far enough. I do have a little bit of senioritis! hahaha

There's also the option of wearing a cardigan over the strapless. BUT do not, do not, do NOT wear a strapless if you cannot refrain from pulling on the top every 5 minutes. There's not much less attractive in a formal situation than watching some girl constantly rearranging her assets.

If the sororities don't have houses (i.e. pref has to be held in classrooms or student center rooms) that may be a factor also.

If the parties involve food and drink, you may want to get a dress that is easy-to-clean incase of spills/mishaps.

I'm obsessed with Rent The Runway, and you can get a deal on two dresses for the same week. I agree with the above posters that you can probably get one dress and wear it both nights, but if you really feel you need two, look into RTR.

You can get more ideas here:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=125180

You'll need to gauge your school's level of "dressy," but there's something there for everyone.

Strapless Alternatives
 

I like the idea of spaghetti straps instead of strapless dresses. A lot of dresses have detachable spaghetti straps that you can adjust.

Like someone said above wear a cardigan.
I really like the idea of bolero or a nice cropped dinner jacket or shrug.

I think a strapless dress that fits PERFECTLY is a perfectly acceptable day dress/sundress option. It shouldn't show cleavage (if it's gonna hold the girls in it's gonna need some coverage), and it shouldn't slip. If it does you either are wearing it too tight or are wearing incorrect or badly fitted undergarments. Starting college is a perfect time to get a REAL bra fitting. Go somewhere good (Nordstrom has developed a reputation of having well-qualified lingerie saleswomen), and then buy the size and shape (underwire, haul em up and move em out, wear em low, wear em high) they recommend.

And above the knee is fine, just so it's not WAY above the knee. Stand up and sit down in front a mirror a couple times. If you have to do a dance to keep from showing the goods, it's too short.

*** and "wear em low" is not an option. If you're not used to it "wear em high" can feel very odd, but will probably look best.

I'm being pretty conservative by saying "no strapless," but it's better to be safe than sorry.

Those threads have some cute ones, though.

Right, and it depends on YOUR shape. For some women, it is just not going to happen.

Okay well when shopping for strapless dresses I make sure they don't slip cause it bothers the crap out of my if they do. I'm not very well endowed there so I don't have a huge problem with the whole cleavage thing. My dresses are also rather high cut considering I am rather conservative in my dress compared to many other girls in my school and feel uncomfortable if i think anything is "showing." Thank you for the wonderful advice ladies!

Also, I love illusion necklines. If you want to look trendy and still have a strapless look, illusion may be the way to go.

Accessories
 

Don't forget accessories!

No big pole stripper pole earrings.
However tasteful chandelier earrings are trendy now.
This is a chance to show your personality.
They will bring the eye up to focus on you.
Vintage or pearls are always nice.

Also, don't forget make up. Go to Sepbzhora and get a small palette with lip gloss, and highlighter. You don't have to spend a ton.

Easy on the perfume. Don't put a ton on. Some people will be allergic to it.

Thanks for the suggestions! Im not big with earrings usually just stick to my little pearls or diamonds, but I love necklaces and bracelets! I never wear make up but I am going to take a trip to either mac or sephora before I leave for school just so they can help me out and show me the basics of applying it. I have a roll on perfume that I love and will probably use its not too strong so it should be good hopefully! You ladies have been wonderful thank you so much!!

Careful with the perfume...

<shudders with the thought of 200 different perfumes jammed in one room>

But do smell nice, of course. Deodorant should be enough.

:o

First of all, "church" attire is different everywhere. In Los Angeles I have seen daisy dukes worn to church. So, the description is vague and somewhat offensive. Perhaps a better description might be: what would you wear to a day wedding or shower...or a nice brunch.

I guess the rules imply modesty. But strapless dresses are worn all the time and successfully. There is tape that will secure a strapless dress as long as the dress is fitted correctly.

The last (unasked) question is: Do I need two dresses? The answer is: Yes, because you never know what can happen to a dress. Be it stains, too much "glow", or another girl showing up in the same dress...always have options. You probably have dresses in your closet already, but being prepared is really a good idea.

I can't stress enough the no perfume for recruitment, or even later in your professional life for job interviews. If you happen across someone with sensitivity to perfume, you can forget that person looking past their misery when there's hundreds of other equally qualified candidates who didn't make them ill. I know some people who get migraines from scents, but I have known a woman who got full blown asthma attacks from them. It's just not worth it.

I have the opposite outlook on perfume. I'm one of those women who feels undressed and incomplete without it - asking me to go without at something as important as rush is like asking me to not brush my teeth.

The actives are already forced and goaded into not wearing perfume. The rushees should be fine if they want to wear a drop of a light scent. Something green or a light floral...no heavy orientals or gourmand fragrances (i.e. heavy on vanilla).

As far as the job interview...if I had to go to work every day without perfume...it's not a job I would want.

"Recruitment" implies modesty. PNMs aren't dressing to impress boys. They're dressing to impress girls. "Don't look slutty" is Rule of Thumb #1. Strapless with a cardigan would be perfectly fine and super cute, but I still would stay away from them.

I'm against strapless because things can go wrong. It has to be fitted right and you can tape, but ... why would anyone want to mess with the risk of a wardrobe malfunction? Most recruitments involve some walking from house to house and sometimes hurrying house to house. The chance is there to have a problem with a strapless dress riding down.

I agree 100% that pnms should dress appropriately. The term church appropriate is ambiguous: every place has a different take on what is church appropriate. The term has a different meaning everywhere. It is also off putting to assume that all pnms go to church.

Also, the worst fashion "horror" that I have seen is a girl walking, wearing a dress and carrying a large shoulder bag. The bag can snag the dress causing the dress to ride up. And yes...the girls don't bring purses into the house. But that scenario is more likely than a well fitted strapless dress falling down.

But in the end the rule of thumb should be: when in doubt ...don't.

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My landlady has very bad asthma, and I'm not to wear perfume. I keep it out in the car - it drives me crazy!!
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