.

Okay...

But this sounds like a troll;
http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=124482

Define "optimistic." It is an infraction to say that you will get a bid much less say anything leading to it.

On the off chance that you are not a troll, SEARCH the threads. THERE ARE TONS OF THREADS ON THIS.
NO ONE CAN TELL YOU YOUR CHANCES.
WE DON'T KNOW YOU.
Every school is different and everyone is different.

THERE WAS ONE CHAPTER INTERESTED IN YOU AND YOU DECLINED IT.
It is MUTUAL selection. You not only select them but they select you.
THEY ARE SHOPPING YOU AS MUCH AS YOU SHOPPING THEM.

Your attitude going through rush could well have affected your outcome, but here are a couple things to keep in mind:
rush is harder as a sophomore than it is a freshman. You will incur rough cuts and you need to be prepared for that.
the house that you were too good for last year may still be the one you're left with at the end of this rush. Maybe you should give them a chance, if they give you another chance.
the girls who told you it was such a surprise and blah blah blah? They were blowing sunshine up your skirt. Take it for exactly zero. The possibility that you were actually a mistake is minimal at best. Those particular girls may have wanted you and they may have even thought you ended up higher on their list, but you didn't so there you go.

Next time go in happy and ready to look at every chapter with fresh eyes. If you're on a campus that requires recs, you will need them again. They don't roll over from year to year.

The computer did not mismatch you. You simply were not high enough up on their list when matches were made. Call it a mis-match if it makes you feel better but the only "mis" is that you didn't get what YOU wanted, but I assure you the chapter got what they wanted. What did you expect the emails from the young women who made a connection with you to say? "Sucks to be you" or "We liked you, but I couldn't get X number of sister's to vote my way"? The ladies that reached out to you had to have an attachment to you to go out on a limb to contact you. But they are a drop in the voting bucket. It is just how it is. You simply were not high enough up on their list when matches were made. Call it a mis-match if it makes you feel better but the only "mis" is that you didn't get what YOU wanted, but I assure you the chapter got what they wanted.

Breaking up with a guy during rush does suck, but you need to really look deeply in the mirror and make sure you can present your best foot forward. Your GPA is stellar and if you get your attitude in alignment you can have a successful recruitment. But please understand that you are at extreme disadvantage as a sophomore and you need to adjust your expectations accordingly.

In her defense, I didn't read what school she goes to. She will likely be at a disadvantage, but "extreme" would depend on where she's going to school. At a lot of schools it would be a disadvantage but nothing deal-breaking. And at some schools it really isn't a disadvantage at all. I would expect cuts, but without knowing the specific school or the personal details I wouldn't over-dramatize her situation.

Absolutely. The girls who called you and told you this are only doing so because they 1) are going through formal rush as members for the first time, have zero clout in the sorority and are completely clueless as to how rush really works OR 2) they may want something from you in the future, and have been brought up to make sure no one is ever mad at them...whether that involves lying through their teeth or not.

First of all, we don't know you. If you have all of these advocates in the sorority of your choice, I have no idea why you're asking strangers on the internet for advice. Ask them for advice. In person. (Although as others have said, those people obviously didn't have enough influence in the chapter to get you a bid the first time around.)

Second of all, recruitment for a sophomore who is rushing for a second time is more difficult at any school. A re-rushing sophomore who turned down a bid has even more obstacles to deal with. Unless something has changed dramatically since your last failed recruitment (and by that I don't simply mean "Yay! No boy drama this time!") you will probably not have a happier outcome.

I know you don't want to hear all of this, but it's the honest truth.

Question (if this borders on murky territory, let me know): when the actives prepare their list, do they have a rough idea of where the cut-off is for invited and not invited?

the thing is if you attend preference you ARE on the bid list. Somewhere. But you might be #60 out of 60 and the pledge class will be 30. The only time you are assured your spot on the top of the list is if you attend preference and you are a legacy. And I believe the rush secretary and the alumna adviser keep the exact order under pretty tight wraps. But I don't know if that's true for all sorority chapters everywhere.

No one insulted you. We are simply saying that the people who contacted you may have given you inaccurate advice, without intending to do so - going by how THEY felt, instead of how the sorority as a whole felt. 3 women out of nearly a hundred is not a lot.

There were some girls I LOVED and would have wanted to be my sister, and pulled for them extra hard, but the rest of the sorority didn't feel the same. In retrospect, they were correct.

So, go through rush again, get recs again, and try to stay in a better frame of mind.

PS: It would be in your best interests to delete the part of your post talking about why you are glad you didn't take the bid from the other group.

It's not. At all. Even remotely.

When Chapters do not keep the bid list order under tight wraps it leads to inferiority-complexes for individual members as well as the entire Chapter. Keeping them close to the vest helps Sisters to treat each other with respect and to respect their Chapter as a whole.

That's what I thought, but I would be the last person to speculate as to membership selection. I remember it being a very big deal for us to try to get an accurate read on their interest so we could attempt to put the girls in the right order for the highest acceptance rate. I don't remember anything about a final list of who was on the first bid list or below, but have I mentioned that it's been more than 5 minutes since I went through any of that? And with as many years as it's been AND a major change in how rush happens at schools all over the country, I wouldn't be surprised if the whole MS process has changed. They might have even done away with the ouija board and tea leaves.

Many chapters also want to protect each member's right to her own opinion, so things may be done by closed ballot, so to speak. In addition, GPA's are generally not known by everyone in the chapter, so if GPA is used as a criterion, most chapters members won't know how that affects the order, either.

Also very true. By the way I always enjoy your answers, and those of DubaiSis, and learn a great deal from every conversation in which either of you take part.

The best advice we can give you is to go in with an OPEN mind. You will only do yourself a disservice to go through with your mind firmly set on one group. Recruitment has too many variables for that to work in the best of situations, but in your case, you should go in looking to fit into every group on campus. You should be happy to receive a bid regardless of which chapter offers it to you.

If you know 4 girls who did it then why not ask them for help since they were so "successful"?

Let me back up. How many chapters are on your campus (you can fudge by 1 or 2 in either direction if you want to keep it anonymous). There is a big difference in whether your thinking is at all healthy depending on whether there are 3 or 18 sororities represented on your campus. And chapter sizes also makes a huge difference. If chapters are fewer than 50 women, you're right, you might not fit in with a group of women if they really choose their members to a type. But if the chapters have 100+, I don't buy it and you're just being snooty.

You have some time now to really look at those bottom few chapters on your campus and find the good in them. Hopefully you will have everything fall right into place and you'll get your first choices for every round of rush. But in case you don't, I'd be ready with some alternatives. And if you really got to know girls in all of the sororities, your list of choices might just change.

This is not true. Your best friend was simply higher on the other chapter's bid list. They wanted her more and she wanted them more so it was a match. This is what we call mutual selection. If her favored chapter hadn't had her so far up on their bid list, she was still on the bid list of the chapter she told she didn't want to be there (although possibly very low on that list.) Without matching to the first chapter, she could very likely have received a bid to the "less desirable" chapter through the bid matching process, quota additions etc.

The chapter you wanted didn't want you as much as they wanted all the other women who were eventually extended bids. You simply weren't high enough on their bid list to receive a bid and it has no relationship to how you behaved at the chapter you didn't want.

If your "best friend" is in a sorority and you personally know at least four other women at your school who re-rushed after declining a bid/depledging, I still can't imagine what you expect to get out of asking questions here of strangers who aren't at your school. You should know it all since you seem to have done your research, are so well connected and already have all the answers.

This. Bid matching doesn't work the way you think it does, sweetie. You just weren't high enough on the list to get a bid from the group you wanted. You could have screamed your hatred of the other group from the top of your lungs, but you would have still gotten that bid...with a bad reputation to boot.

OP: stop focusing on everyone else. Let go of what happened in the past. It's DONE! FINISHED! OVER! Go through recruitment again with an open mind. This thread has fabulous advice for you. Take it. Or NOT.

Focus on yourself! Keep your grades up. Read GC threads on sophomores, on second recruitment experiences, on how to have a successful recruitment.

For the love of Mike, stop throwing out "excuses" and "reasons" for what happened in your recruitment. You.Will.Never.Know. Membership selection is considered part of Ritual (caveat: speaking for my own organization) and no one is going to ever provide you with the specifics you keep seeking.

If you are going through at Arizona (and if you are, don't tell us!!!), sophomores can and do get bids to the majority of the chapters. I can't talk about any other campus.

You have another opportunity. Don't blow it.

She already stated the campus where she is attending.

To the OP, you have given enough information about yourself that you can be identified. My advice is to edit your posts or delete them. Word to the wise The Greek Community is small, and actives and alumni do talk - watch what you post. I am a WKU alumnus, as are a few others on this board.

GO TOPS!

THIS. So much.

Regardless of whether or not Membership Selection is actually part of ritual, no one's going to give you those answers, anyway.

:o

doh! teach me to write something before my second cup of coffee.

Thanks, 33.

I guess I missed it, and reading back over the thread, I'm still not getting it. But that's not important. Listen to AzTheta.

The school name? Same here.

Here it is.

I believe WKU has 8 NPCs with addition of Alpha Xi Delta this year. Not sure of exact chapter sizes but they look to be around between 80-100 from photos.

Info for WKU:

Panhellenic Sororities
Alpha Delta Pi
Alpha Gamma Delta
Alpha Omicron Pi
Alpha Xi Delta (Recolonized in Fall 2011)
Chi Omega
Kappa Delta
Phi Mu
Sigma Kappa

What an amazing list of orgs that any young woman should be proud to be a member.