Greek Families
 

I looked for a post about this, but I couldn't find one. I thought it'd be interesting to hear about everyone's greek families?

Within my house, we have several different families...I'm a member of the MC family. :)

Within our greek community, I'm part of a HUGE greek family that spans about six-seven different houses...maybe more.

I have 2 littles, one who has a pledge dad, a panhel daughter, and a pledge son. And TONS of "extended" greek family.

I have never heard of anything like this, but i would love to hear more

My grandpa was a Fiji, my uncle was a Pike, and Im a Phi Delt lol

My Greek Family is a bit small, just my house and one other (directly). Indirectly though it spans all the houses, but that is by dynamics like second cousins and uncles of uncles. It gets pretty crazy. I've been trying to get my big to get a girl little though, so I can have more direct family.

Do the national headquarters of the various groups involved know about/approve of this "family"?

Just wondering.

Wow I didnt even read what you wrote, just the title and thought you meant greeks in your ACTUAL family..:o

I originally read it like 1stPhiDeltaAlpha did. I'd like to learn more about this as well. I get the families within chapters; that goes back forever, although the naming convention of daughter, mother, grandmother, aunt etc. has been change to little and big. But cross chapters? That's new. I wonder if that serves to foster Greek unity on campus and what purpose it serves.

I don't know that it goes back forever -- I'd never heard of it in any GLO until GC. We had big/little brothers, but we had no concept of families, grand-bigs/littles, etc. I don't remember any friends in other fraternities or in sororities talking in terms of families either. Always possible, of course, that they were doing the family thing and I just didn't hear about it or it didn't register with me.

I was talking with a collegiate brother in my chapter recently, and he asked about my big brother and about family. He seemed a little surprised when I said we didn't do families then.

This cross-chapter family thing sounds like it must be related to the idea of fraternity members having little sisters and sorority members having little brothers.

Yes, in the same way that root beer is related to actual beer. FYP BTW.

Same, I'm confused (again :eek:)

It is this exactly. On my campus I have just recently (2-3 years noticed that they do this. I don't know how it came about because when I graduated it wasn't like that at all.

It's news to me, too. If it's happening on my campus, I've never been told.

It's not an official thing, it's just something that has been on my campus for a really long time. Fiji has a pledge son/dad program which is the same as the big/little system...but they also choose "pledge moms" for their sons...I know that Beta does this as well...I'm pretty sure several others do too. So, I'm a Fiji pledge mom.

Which, connects me to the entire family within Fiji...and then whatever other pledge moms...it's just for fun.

I thought everyone did that...?

These families really do increase panhellenic sensabilities...they are just a fun thing--but it connects me to Alpha Chis, Alpha Phis, Delta Gammas, AGDs, Thetas, Fijis and Betas...which is cool...and just for fun.

Fiji and Beta at all their chapters, or Fiji and Beta at your school?

No, everyone most definitely does not do that.

These "connections" may seem like fun to you, but they can bring about issues with, among other things, risk management and our status as single-sex organizations.

The Beta chapter on my campus didn't do this.

It is an interesting idea and could really foster panhellenic relations. I would really worry about the big and little with fraternities. I realize someone brought this up earlier, but I would be concerned with how this differed from the little sister relationships that were banned by NPC.

Although this is generally frowned upon, my campus does this too. But from what it sounds like, not to the extent as OP's campus.

For example, let's say Katie is an ABC and get's a daughter, Ashley. (Yep, daughter/son, mom/dad is what is generally used at U of I, although I know it's generally discouraged.) Katie asks her close guy friend, Mike, who is a YZ, to be her pledge husband (if someone is in a relationship, they usually ask their significant other). Therefore, Mike is Ashley's dad.

And that's pretty much the extend of it. The family will probably go out together a few times, but that's about it. Also, the family trees don't get too much larger. So, if Ashley get's a daughter, Julie, Julie really doesn't consider Mike as her "Grandpa". Likewise, if Mike get's a son, he's not really considered Ashley's brother....so you really don't get the "big families" with connections to multiple other fraternities and sororities that it sounds like OP has on her campus.

While it is a tradition, it's really not anything too serious. Also, I knew LOTS of sorority members and fraternity members who chose not to have a pledge husband/wife.

I'm not speaking for Beta and Fiji chapters anywhere except my town.

But like I said...it's nothing official. Not even close. It's not voted on, or have anything to do with the actual chapter. Like lovespink88, it's not serious, and lots of people don't do it at all. I know an independent who is a "dad" of someone...so it's really not a big thing. And, we don't call our littles "daughters" in my chapter...although some other chapters do.

And yeah, we made a "family tree" because it was something to do...but it means nothing.

This turned into a big thing. I didn't mean it to. Thought it would be fun to talk about...I was wrong! haha. :)

I just want to repeat: it's not serious. It's like listing someone as your sister/brother on facebook...you can say it, but it doesn't actually mean anything.

Until someone thinks it does mean something. I can see real potential problems coming from this.

Part of me is curious as to what problems could come from individuals calling each other something...it's similar to calling someone by a nickname, in my opinion.

The other part says that it's really not that big of a deal, and that if it ever became one, then it would be put to a stop--it's been around since at least the 80s at my school...

I mean, there are girls who call themselves "Fiji girls" and "Pike girls" and "Beta girls"...but Fiji or Pike doesn't select these girls as a house, it's just an identifier. Which is kind've what the families are like.

This ends my defending of it...because it's not important enough to defend. haha. I don't want to be in a war because of it. So...how about the nice blue color of these borders? It really does bring out the gray of the background!

Nothing like saying something completely innocuous and walking into a shit storm! I had just never heard of this. On one hand I can see it as a really fun way to get to know members of other sororities and fraternities on campus and build Greek unity. But I can see some chick with a chip on her shoulder and too much time on her hands crying foul when she can't get into the "right" family. And that is even with it being completely informal and not serious. Because some people are just like that. Gotta feed the drama.

EXACTLY.

Not to mention "So and so was hitting on MY LITTLE BROTHER!! What a whore!!"

If (and this is a bigger than a woooly mammoth if) the OP's school has managed to implement such a charming idea without ever having any drama or problems, it might not be too bad of a thing to do...but I seriously doubt that is the case.

I also really dislike the using of the terms "little sisters" and "little brothers" as there used to be LS and LB orgs who did actual WORK for the org they were a LS or LB of. This just kind of makes a huge mockery of that. Can't we think of a different name, perhaps? Panhel Pals? Fratty Friends?

Where I'm at, we call then big's and little's. You obviously get a big brother/sister in your own group, then you can get one big and as many littles of the opposite sex. My only problem with this (and a lot of other similar systems) is that getting a little sister/brother should not mean trying to hook up, but it usually does and it's a bit sick imo

The thing is, the school didn't implement anything...it just happened. You know? The school has nothing to do with it--it's very individual. And there really hasn't been any "omg she's hitting on my little brother" because when someone is in your "greek family" it becomes more like family...as in, "ew...that's my son, not into incest." lol.

Our campus used to do it where a sorority was matched up with a fraternity each semester. If you took a little sister, you would then have a guy in the "brother" fraternity be your little's big brother. Likewise, all the pledges in the fraternity would get a big sister from the "sister" sorority. There was actually a big/little night party, and you had lots of planned events with your matched sorority/fraternity throughout the semester. It really helped get to know the other groups on campus and there was never any negative connotation about having a big brother, etc. Nowadays, I know that they do it where the Big Sister just picks one of her guy friends to be her little sister's big brother, and the only time during the year where they are matched up with a fraternity is for Greek Week.

I think that this is part of the problem others are concerned about.

Well, here's another question.

When you chose a little brother, or a guy chose you to be his little sister, were they from fraternities that your sorority tends to spend a lot of time with anyway? Or was it done as a way of "you know, we never hang out with the DKEs, if you want to take a little brother why not take one of them?"

I mean, in a huge Greek system, I can see the merit of pairing up members from different Greek groups who might not cross paths (kind of like what Proud and True mentioned). But if the Pikes are always going to pick KKGs for their little sisters and if the ZTAs are always going to pick Delta Chis for their little brothers - and if they hang out together all the time anyway - and if these pairings fall very stringently along "tier" lines - I guess I just don't see the point.

First of all, it's not a little brother-little sister type thing. How it works is this: (and I'll discuss Fiji, because that's what I know) when a Fiji is chosen as a pledge dad, he chooses someone to be his pledge sons' pledge mom.

Second of all, I don't want to argue anymore. lol

Ditto. I just don't see a purpose. Why do we have to assign family titles to all our friends? Just be friends.

If you have to keep defending it and defending like this, it's probably something not worth having.

And what melindawarren said.

Oh lord, I've never, ever...EVER had to defend it before.

And I'm just one person...if it was something that I truly felt was detrimental, I would be willing to step up and challenge our entire Greek community, but it's not. If it ever even begins to cause problems, I can assure everyone here that I will make moves to end it.

I'm sorry to everyone for bringing this up, I do feel just the slightest bit attacked--even though I understand everyone is just voicing their concerns. :) I do however, think that there are more serious issues to take a stance on...like...saving the whales. Or, if we wish to stick with the Greek world--Total Frat Move.com, maybe?

:)

Here's what it might be helpful to understand. You're in college and your experience is with your campus. If you say it's working without drama, we have no reason to doubt you on that.

Many if not most of the people looking askance at this idea are alumni, some of whom have experience in some form or another with numerous campuses and who have seen things like this cause problems. Many of us also have some experience with how our HQs have reacted to similar things in the past and tend to look at this in more institutional terms.

You're coming at it from a local, "it's working fine" perspective, and that's understandable. Many of us are coming at it from a fraternity or sorority-wide, "we've seen what can happen" perspective.

I wasn't arguing, I was asking a question (that didn't really get answered).

But to just to let you know, basically saying in one post that all you know is how one fraternity does this, and in the next post assuring us that it doesn't hurt the larger Greek community at all...it kind of doesn't go together.

As far as your question, 33girl, you're correct, I didn't answer it--I apologize.

It's an individual thing--it's not based on what chapter you are a member of. In my chapter, we have pledge moms from Fiji, Beta, Delt, Sig and I'm sure there are more. I know Fiji pledge moms span at least five out of seven houses.

What I'm saying is that I've never heard anyone say anything negative about it. It's not a huge deal on our campus--it happens but it's not something that you run around and tell everyone and brag about...it just is. It's not even a major tradition--if someone came in and put a stop to it--everyone would be like "oh...okay." It's just a minor thing that we do.

We did something similar on my campus...your big asked one of her male friends or boyfriend in a fraternity to be your "pledge dad". Almost every chapter did this. I had pledge "sons" in three different fraternities, so technically they had some sort of relation, but nobody really cared. It mainly meant that I bought them something with my letters, got them drunk on pledge mom night, and then they could call me if they needed a date to something.

That said, it's a risk management nightmare waiting to happen, and our HQ told us to stop.

Given how unglued sorority members seem to become over big/little relationships and issues in this day and age, I can't imagine anything like this happening without drama.

I don't know of any national or international NPC groups who would be down with this type of thing, including the OP's.