Students say (and write) the darndest things
 

Professors at my college meet in the workroom and share war stories. Here are my two current favorites.

(Quiz given over "The Jilting of Granny Weatherall" by Katherine Anne Porter)

1. What is jilting?
Answer - A sexual disease.

(Quiz given over the American Revolution)

1.) What commodity was dumped into Boston Harbor in 1773?
Answer - Slaves.

What - you don't remember the Boston Slave Party?!

Not a teacher obviously, but my fiance has shared some gems with me in his very short career.

My absolute favorite has to be the Chips Ahoy story...

At the beginning of the day, the students assemble for morning announcements. They also used to have to recite a "creed" (I guess that's what you would call it). Now, one would think that the name of the school doesn't really rhyme well with anything...so no chance that they would change the words to mock the "creed", right?

Nope. Those clever kids realized it rhymed perfectly with Chips Ahoy so pretty soon, the whole school was chanting "LOVE CHIPS AHOY!" instead of "LOVE 'school name'"

My fiance says it was difficult not to laugh at that one in front of the students.

I saw an article in my FB news feed the other day, describing this site. My personal favorite:

http://assets.funnyexam.com/hashed_s...ized/findx.jpg

I was in an American Literature course last quarter and the professor likes to ask, "Why did or didn't you like this piece?" on exams.

There was a girl in one of her courses at a different university that was the "I'll nod at everything she says and I'll look attentive" type. They talked about Animal Farm for about a week and the nodder wrote, "I didn't like the book because it's just a silly children's story about talking animals."

An oldie but by far my favorite student story. The picture is what the child drew for homework ("What do you want to be when you grow up?") and the bottom is supposedly a note the mom sent to the teacher the next day.

http://blog.beanexoticdancer.com/wp-...-I-grow-up.jpg

^^^ This is hysterical! However, I also notice that neither Mommy, nor the customers, are wearing any clothes. Hmmm....

Well, how often do you put clothes on a stick figure? Too complicated--they don't have any body with which to fill them out. :p

My mother told me a million student stories over her career. I can't believe I can't think of any...

Good point...she'd never make it as an exotic dancer with her lack of curves! ;)

Also it's probably the best handwriting in the history of children.

One of my favorites from back in the day: Student - "I hope you don't mind that I wrote World War Two out - my computer doesn't have Roman numerals." :rolleyes:

This quote from a middle schooler: "His mom was black and his dad was white, which made him Asian.":eek:

Wasn't that true in Rogers and Hammersteins' Cinderella with Whitney and Brandy?

Semi-related: when my younger brother was in kindergarten he drew a picture of our family. My step-father tans very quickly and very easily (and never burns, the lucky duck...) and this was right at the end of summer when he's always at his darkest.

"That's my daddy. He's a brown man."

ETA: Now that I think about it I don't know how funny it actually is, but the teacher did call my mom in for a clarification.

I forgot about that! This kid was talking about Bruce Lee.

Last week I was sitting with a group of students working with them during centers. One of my students Ryan was being a spazz. I said "Ryan, chill". The student sitting right next to him said "Ryan, take a chill pill". I busted up laughing because it isn't a phrase I say in class and the way the little boy said it. I was like "Jayden, where did you here that saying" and he replied "my mom says it to me".

Small hijack: That confused the hell out of me. They asked Brandy why they did that and she said it was to show that love is colorblind.

Uh no. Love being colorblind would explain why the Asian prince married a Black woman. Love being colorblind does not explain that family. That doesn't explain at all. :p

I don't have "students" but most of you know I do a lot of work with kids. One of my sitting charges gave me this gem last week:

F: CG, how do you get your nails like that without growing a potato garden?
Me: Huh?
F: Mommy says that if nails get long enough, you'll end up with enough dirt under them to grow a potato garden. You're nails are long and pretty but where are your potatoes?

My nails are about a quarter-inch long which must be a mile long when you're 7. :) When I said I wash under my nails every time I wash my hands, she looked at me like I'd just told her the secret of the year.