Bottle Rocket + Anus = Fraternity Lawsuit
 

Long story short: A guest at a party at the Alpha Tau Omega house gets so drunk he decides that the best thing he can do is to shoot a lit bottle rocket out of his butt. When the rocket explodes without zooming off, he is "startled" (words of one article) and falls off the deck. Which, granted, does not have railings.

Instead of saying "How stupid am I?", he is suing the Alpha Tau Omega fraternity at Marshall University(WV). It's obviously their fault for not stopping him from drinking or shoving a bottle rocket up his butt.

One article says he was startled when the bottle rocket exploded; another says a friend startled him. Really? You got startled when a bottle rocket exploded where the sun don't shine? But - of course, it can't be your fault.

http://www.wvrecord.com/news/241575-...ernity-lawsuit

http://www.courthousenews.com/2012/02/02/43572.htm

What in the? How drunk do you have to be to stick a bottle rocket up your butt? Wow... I am just lost for words.

How drunk do you have to be to think of doing this?

TMI, but I puke well before that point.

Jinx. Buy me a soda.

coke or pepsi products?

"Defendant (ATO member Travis) Hughes owed plaintiff (Louis Helmburg III) and others on the ATO deck a duty of care not to drink under age, or to fire bottle rockets out of his anus."

Lord, have mercy.

I don't think that I would ever get to the point where I thought bottle rocket+butt is a good idea, but I know that I would be too embarrassed to bring suit against anyone should I do so.

That would've been fun to write, but not nearly as fun as the intake conference where the client told his tale of woe.

:rolleyes:

You mean ATO didn't have a "sober brother" on duty to pull stray objects out of members' butts?


"Helmburg said the explosion startled him, causing him to fall three to four feet off the fraternity deck where he became lodged between the deck and an adjacent unit's air conditioner.

The suit seeks damages for pain and suffering, loss of time from his baseball team, lost earning capacity and medical expenses. . . ."

"(Plaintiff) Helmburg says the fiasco came at about 1:30 a.m. on May 1, 2011, at an Alpha Tau house party he attended with his girlfriend."
Maybe his girlfriend is the chick that's suing Tri-Sigma at the same school...

You've got the story wrong. The injured party didn't get drunk and shove a bottle rocket up his ass. He was knocked off a deck without a railing by a drunk ATO who fired a bottle rocket up his anus while in a drunken stupor. Sounds like he has a case.

BTW, it must be said. We are..MARSHAL!

Now that I actually read the article, he definitely has a case. I still don't understand how anyone could think that bottle rocket + anus is a good idea.

I was watching one of those "World's dumbest" shows a few weeks ago. They showed a clip of a couple of guys in Russia at a party, that decided to sit in a bathtub of water and light fireworks. Well of course that didnt turn out well...The bottle rocket + anus thing reminds me of that clip...or something off Jackass.

I can't even think of the damage he might have. My great aunt had a horrific scar from her teen years when a bottle rocket did a U-turn and went up her sleeve and exploded.

After reading AOIIAngel's note, I went back and read the articles. They really aren't clear.

Scenerio #1 - Hughes the ATO decided to shoot rocket's from Helmberg's anus.
Said bottle rocket blew up and knocked Helmberg off the deck.

Scenerio #2 - Hughes decided to shoot a bottle rocket out his own anus and the rocket somehow hit Helmberg's anus and then knocked Helmberg off the deck.

Scenerio #3 - Hughes shot the rocket out his own butt and knocked Helmberg off the deck when the rocket exploded.


#1- Did Helmberg agree to it? In that case, it may be a situation like the TCU Kappa Sigma who agreed to be branded and then his parents threw a fit.

#2- If the rocket went from Hughes butt to Helmberg's butt and injured Helmberg's anus, I don't want to know what kind of party they were having at the ATO house that night.

#3- Maybe the most likely scenerio.

Helmberg will probably win or get a settlement because of the fact that the ATOs have a deck, without proper railing, that is 3-4 feet off the ground. If you notice, most fraternity houses built in the last couple of decades, do not have 2nd floor porches. High porches and fraternity brothers who want to act macho and showoff are a bad combination.

My old chapter house was built in the 1920s. We were forbidden to climb out the windows and sit on the roof.
This was passed down after a Sigma Chi at Arkansas was killed when he tried to repel/rapel (I don't know how to spell it) off the roof at a party in the 80s.

The Pikes at NLU (now ULM) had a tall deck outside their double wide trailer of a house built by Tim McGraw. It had guard rails, but it didn't stop one of my AOII sisters from falling off the deck at a social the year before I pledged. Luckily she wasn't hurt, but our social t-shirt the next year featured an AOII falling of the Pike deck. LOL

Roofs and high decks are such a no-no.

I sometimes have a feeling of disbelief that I didn't die in college from stupidity myself.

I remember frequently climbing onto the roofs of two different fraternity houses in college. At one, we did it to sit on the sofas that the guys would haul up there (one story house) to get a better view of the party. At the other, we'd climb up on the roof to get window access to the upstairs bathrooms to avoid waiting in the long lines downstairs.

The thought of falling would have never crossed our minds, despite our sometimes (often/always) incapacitated state.

We were absolute idiots, needless to say.

Scenario number three above is probably the most likely and he is probably going to claim that falling off this deck reduced his baseball playing time and. His Chances in MLBs draft - but you gotta wonder - what kind of party was this that no one noticed this other kid pull down his pants enough to lodge the rocket?

As the mother of a young teenage son, the whole "Jackass" stunt thing horrifies me. There is a video on YouTube where a couple of amatuer jackasses try to shoot a bottle rocket from one guy's butt, but unfortunately he must have tightened up his glute muscles when the sparks started shooting. Instead of launching his fireworks, he panics and is running around with his pants around his ankles and a lighted bottlerocket sticking out of his butt until it explodes. There is no follow up. I would have posted a link, but I really don't want to see it again (yes, I found my son watching it a couple of years ago).

This stinks.

Update that MAY clarify what allegedly happened ... plus it's the
quote of the day, or at least quote of the early afternoon?

From the West Virginia Record:

“Hughes placed a bottle rocket in his anus and ignited the fuse, but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in Hughes’ rectum, according to the suit.”

http://wvrecord.com/news/s-4021-cabe...e-against-frat

People can be such idiots. I don't know how drunk you have to be to think that launching fireworks out of your rectum is a good idea.