Recruitment Rules
 

This is where we post the unwritten rules of rush, known to us veteran GC'ers, but perhaps not known to PNMS.

1) Murphy's Law of Rush Crushes (credit: KSUViolet, carnation): The number one oh-my-god-have-to-have PNM will be the one who causes the most drama in all of her pledge class, and/or deactivates by senior year.

2) The Law of Alumnae Relations (suggest a better name!): The alumna most upset that her precious snowflake has been cut from her organization during rush is the one who hasn't paid a single year of alumae dues, and when asked, says she WAS an XYZ.

3) Unicorns Pooping Rainbows Syndrome (credit: DubaiSis): the PNM (now NM) is disappointed when it turns out her new sisters are human. "They're not perfect, they aren't oh my god so much like you, and they are no longer kissing your feet every time you walk through the door."

The Law of Bridesmaid Dresses - The outfit that the day chair INSISTS must be acquired for a particular party (or else her theme will be ruined) will look great on her and possibly up to 10% of other chapter members but will otherwise be unflattering, hideously colored, or horrifically "never wearable again" for the other 90% of the chapter sisters.

Moses' Law: Any PNM who comes on GC talking about a "certain belief that I don't share" or something similar means "the Jewish sorority", and has no idea she isn't being subtle.

Apparating Alumna Law (for rule #2)- she's disappeared from the active alumna roster but reappears magically when Snowflake doesn't get a bid to XYZ

I like it!

GC so needs a "like" button.

I was about to say the exact same thing about DeltaBeta's post. The name of the law makes the whole thing.

The Glitch Corollary: The most common cause of being unexpectedly dropped from your favorite house is an unexplained, uninvestigated computer error. The likelihood of this error increases exponentially between Prefs and Bid Day.

The Law of Fit Synergy: As a PNM, a polite way to describe a house not up to your demanding standards is either "It's not a good fit" or "I couldn't see myself here." As a sister, a polite way to describe a PNM you're not interested in is "I don't really think she's a good fit" or "I don't see her in my letters".

The Law of Parental Involvement: The other mothers are Helicopter Parents. You and your daughter are just very, very close.

The Mission Statement Postulate: How a PNM feels about an organization's mission statement dictates how she will fit in with a collegiate chapter and whether she'll feel compelled to participate as an alumna.

I thought she was talking about Amish people. Or...maybe they're all Muslims and she just really liked their lettered burkas.

Hahaha, I forgot about this one! Good add!

Brilliant!

I love this thread.

I think that practitioners often call this simply UPRS.

http://archuletafanscene.com/wp-cont...some-sauce.jpg

Help me out with wording this....

The Law of Transference - Just like in the movies, every transfer student has a "special situation" that means they become awesome, unique, and mysterious. They should get the same consideration as freshmen by every sorority even though they don't know anyone. They just need to work a little harder. :confused:

Take out the work a little harder part...They are awesome and unique, why do they need to work harder!?:p

PST Theory: Pink sequin tights will keep you from being put in the formal parlor with the rushees that they are planning on cutting.

The Subtraction Rule: According to PNMs, student newspapers, independents, etc., the difference between the number of PNMs signed up and the number with bids is always caused by those sorority meanies and not voluntary dropouts.

The Law of Definite Proportions: According to PNMs- there must always be one chapter completely comprised of fat girls. As a corollary, all of the girls in the "top" chapter must be ready to compete on America's Top Model at a moment's notice..... :confused:

The Super Special Magical Feeling - When you go to preference the sorority is supposed to put a spell on you that creates the super special magical feeling. If you do not fall under their spell, then that isn't the house for you. The Super Special Magical Feeling typically presents itself before Unicorns Pooping Rainbows Syndrom takes effect.

The Law of the Minimum- according to SOME PNMs - the minimum gpa requirements for recruitment posted by Panhellenic are all that matter, they have no basis in the requirements of the organizations and grades will have no effect on the desirability of a PNM :confused:

The Law of Relativity (credit 33girl): The chapter most likely to trash-talk the weakest recruiting chapter is the second-weakest recruiting chapter.

The Ecclesiastes Snowflake Syndrome: Even though we have collectively seen and heard every possible permutation of recruitment scenario, any new PNM posting on this site is completely unique and requires that we drop everything to aid her on her quest. Her condition also renders her completely blind to the search feature. Which, even if she used it, wouldn't help. Her situation is special. Any advice that doesn't confirm what she believes is "mean".

I yearn for a rush thread where the girl actually does have a unique situation. And in lieu of that (I had an English teacher in high school who would not let us use the word unique unless the scenario or thing was actually literally singular in the entire world, which meant pretty much never), I'd be happy for an unusual situation. I'm trying to imagine what that might be...

The woman of color looking to rush at 'bama was pretty unusual.

There are actually a few situations that I've encountered in real life that I don't remember ever discussing here...PNM in a wheelchair, PNM getting no invite from XYZ in round 2 but getting an invite from them in round 3, and my own rush really truly did have a "computer glitch" (i.e. human error, but everyone got the wrong invite lists and they were later corrected).

The Sweet Valley recruitment syndrome: The PNM has a special "thing" that impacts her recruitment greatly, either because of or in spite of her incredible beauty, wealth, and overall awesomeness. We, sadly, never learn what this "thing" is.

(That was the best recruitment story ever. I'm sort of disappointed that the OP of it went BSC and never finished it).

Law of Diminshed PR returns - there is a 50/50 chance that the Homecoming Queens letters are mentioned in the paper or that her lavalier or pin show up in photos - while there is a 100 percent chance that the girl who has to be taken to the hospital because she was drunk and hit her head on the toilet has her affiliation noted -(Not my group).

The OP had begun threatening GCers personally by PM, as I recall. I still think that the OP was a guy.

I'm taking creative writing this semester, and you can bet your GC account that writing that story as a comedy story has crossed my mind at least once. :D

I think Carnation's got it...maybe that special "thing" was that the OP WAS a guy. Maybe the sorority women figured out she was hiding the candy in the pink sequined tights! :D I couldn't resist, really.

:rolleyes: Hahaha transphobic cheap laugh hahahah

I am loving this thread otherwise.

:rolleyes:Yup, that's me a total transphobe, you outted me. My friends in the drag show at Connections will be so surprised when they find out.

Guess only some people are allowed to make snarky comments, duly noted.

The other Corollary to this is that If OMG LOVE HER girl does make it to initiation - she will have a younger sister - who will cause even more drama than she did.

The Lower Standards Theorem: Any woman who gets released from formal recruitment and/or drops out because she didn't like the options she had left will think she is the most desirable PNM in informal recruitment and have chapters clamoring for her that released her the first time.

Colony Corollary: Any woman who has an unfavorable formal recruitment will consider herself a shoe-in for a new colonization.

ALL OF THIS!! This post needs to be stickied!!

And BraveMarroon, I'm sad to say I'm guilty of The Glitch Corollary. I swore up and down for days, even weeks after rush that my number one house dropped me on philanthropy accidentally lol.

The Indiana Effect: Moms and PNM's will flock to GC after IU recruitment as though we old biddies around here can do anything about it.

My old roommate in a nutshell. She used her grades as an excuse for her awful attitude when they were just the icing on the cake, she ended up getting only 2 invites for informal and no bid from either house. She transferred after that semester.

"Pledge the Library" Corollary -- any PNM who just misses the minimum GPA for recruitment believes that she is special, that she deserves to be an exception to the GPA cut-off, and anyone who tells her "No" is a heartless biddy