The engagement is OFF...
 

if this happens, should the recipient RETURN the ring? Or does the ring become the property of the recipient?

What do you think?

If your engagement ended, did you return the ring?

Well AKA2D '91, according to Judge Judy en nem, the ring goes back to whom ever gave it unless otherwise specified. I don't agree with that but according to them (and I've watched many court shows dealing with this same scenerio), the ring was given in ANTICIPATION of a marriage and since that anticipation is null and void, you haveto give it back. Now it's a different story for a WEDDING RING. The law can be a b**ch sometimes.

I know. I think I heard Judge Mathis say the same thing. But you know, there was a time PRIOR to dem judge shows. Also, everyone does NOT appear before a judge.

So, in that case, my question is still on the table.

If my Emily Post serves me right, the woman can keep it, since it was given as a gift. I put emphasis on CAN. The only exception to this is if it's a heirloom ring, in which case she SHOULD return it to her ex-fiance.

let me give this a try....
 

If I remember correctly from law school......the woman must give the ring back because, as someone stated, the ring was given in anticipation of marriage. However, this could vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. My other legal eagles out there....any comments???

LMAO @ THE NEW LEGAL EAGLES...
 

Whyyyyy ya'll gotta be all TECHNICAL and thangs?

Why can't a sista or a brotha (cause THEY say females are buying dudes engagement rangs, rather are proposing :rolleyes:), keep the ring, 'specially if they EARRRRNNNNNNNEDED IT?

I'm trying to cause havoc...okayyyyyy! :D

Forget all of that legal mess, cause I know there are some peeps out there that have kept that engagement ring...JUST BECAUSE! :p

Sidenote: I'VE NEVER BEEN IN THIS SITUATION. IF I became engaged and it ended, HELL, I WOULDN'T WANT TO SEE THA BUSTA, THE RING, OR ANYTHING RELATIVE TO HIM! :mad:

Re: The engagement is OFF...
 

forget the legal eagle stuff, keep the ring, pawn it and spend the money...lol:eek: :D

If I called it off, I would give the ring back. If he called it off, too bad, so sad, shoulda thought about that.

I don't think I would want to keep the ring... it would just be a painful reminder.

Anyway, a former co-worker studying as a paralegal explained that an engagement ring is considered to be a contract for marriage...if the contract is broken, the purchaser keeps the ring.

We've all heard of a marriage contract? Well, technically that is what marriage is. It is a contractual agreement between the two parties and the law looks at the ring as having been given as consideration to enduce the party to agree to the contract. For example- I agree to give you this ring and you agree in return to marry me. If you do not live up to your part of the bargin, you do not get to keep the ring. That would be an unjust enrichment. Off hand, I do not recall what kind of weight is given to who called off the wedding (ie. he gave the ring but he broke the contract) my instincts tell me it probably does not matter either way.

( I am an attorney- this is what I can recall from law school since I have never had such a case)

Of course, like anaything, the only way to make her give it back would be to sue. If he is not inclined to sue, I may not be inclined t o return it.

Speaking of broken engagements...
 

My aunt was engaged to this pretty wealthy man. They dated for many years and he finally popped the question along with a pretty hefty rock (3 carats to be exact). Well...for some reason after a few months of being engaged to my aunt, he broke the engagement off. (Hell, I know why...My aunt can work a serious nerve!!) Anywho...since HE broke the engagement off, she refused to give him the ring back!! He ended up having to take her to court and he sued her for the ring or either the cost of it. Needless to say, SHE LOST. She gave the ring back so she wouldn't have to pay him $15,000 (the pruchase price of the rock). You know my aunt was just sick!! http://www.plauder-smilies.de/bawling.gif

;) Well in the event of my cancelled engagement... I KEPT THE RING. It's mine.

Well, what if...
 

the ring gets lost? Are you still responsible for it? I figure, we all win... I lost the ring, if he was smart, he'd've (shut up, CT4) gotten insurance. He gets his money back, I keep my diamond, no one ever knows the difference, and everyone is happy. :D

DISCLAIMER: Not that I commit fraudulent crimes or anything, I was just sayin'. ;)

Re: Well, what if...
 

To go further, one could replace the stone with cz, return the ring and make a new ring out of the diamond. But..........DISCLAIMER: Not that I commit fraudulent crimes or anything, I was just sayin'. ;)

It was always my understanding that the ring went to the dumpee. If you break up with him, you give the ring back, if he breaks up with you, you keep it. My last fi slept around on me and then left me for my little grandsis (THAT was TRES bad for chapter morale and it really split the chapter...I recommend against it), and since he was the jerk, I kept the ring. I then sold it and bought myself a bracelet at Tiffany's. I told him, however, that I went out to the Station Square Bridge at 3 in the morning and tossed it in the Monongahela River. Heehee.

Re: Re: Well, what if...
 

I like the way y'all think! ;)

I would either give the ring to a neutral party or not give it back at all. Why would he want the ring back? (okay..dumb question...to get his money back)...But if it was to marry another woman...then nope...sorry can't have the ring back. I know if i was that other woman I wouldn't want a ring that has already been given to someone else! I want a BRAND NEW RING!

a NEUTRAL party?

NEUTRAL has nothing to do with this!

LMAO!

The reason I said neutral party is because this has happened to me before. I was engaged and found out the my fiance' was a lying, cheating, good-for-nothing...well I could go on describing him... :mad: But anyway, I didn't want to keep the ring (it wasn't all that to begin with) and I didn't want to talk with him...thus I gave it to a mutual friend. He had a ring as well that he gave her. She still has both rings, why i don't know :eek:

Life is so much sweeter since I got rid of him...but I can't stand the dating game :(.

Re: Re: The engagement is OFF...
 

That's exactly what I did... I did give back his class ring, because of its sentimental value to him...however, I put it in an envelope and dropped it in the mail (in hopes that it would get lost, stolen, damaged? I don't know..I was bitter back then.) But the engagement ring I pawned. I do agree with Ideal08, if it had been me breaking the engagement I would have given it back to him, but it was because of him that it didn't work out, so I kept it.

Well...
 

I would also probably give back the ring, depending on how expensive it was...I would never want to feel like I owe him ANYTHING...And I would not want to be embaressed by having to go to court...

I don't know...I guess I should try and follow the LAW, esp. since I am Pre-law, but...

The three scenarios Ideal, Aloving1, and KappaStar described sure sound GOOOOOOOOOD, esp. when I know I will be paying off a grip of student loans!!!

As kids, when somebody gave us something that we didn't want to give back we said 'black, black, no trade back.' That means that now whatever you just gave me is mine.

If you give me a ring, you better know that I'm gonna keep regardless of the circumstances. I have a thing for my jewelry and I know I wouldn't give it up for anything. You can take me to court and have Judge Judy and her smart a$$ order me to give it back if you want to, but I'm still not givin up the rock!! You'll have to pry it off of my cold, dead fingers.

Okay, I'm being overly dramatic. But, I still would not give back that ring. It was a gift to me.

I would give it back either way...
 

1) If I dumped him, then something wasn't right with him. So why have a constant reminder of someone you don't want to spend the rest of your life with.

2) If he dumped me, same scenario. I wouldn't want the ring because it just open a case of should'ves, would'ves, and could'ves.

I would give the ring and anything else back. My motto is "out of sight, out of mind."

GIVE IT UP!!!
 

The ring MUST be returned for the very reason many posters have said: "it was given in anticipation of marriage". Therefore you gotta GIVE IT UP!!!

AND...

YOU AINT EARNED IT UNTIL YOU SAY "I DO!"!!!!!:D

The trick to being able to keep the ring (why would you want it??) is that it had a dual purpose - an engagement ring given on a birthday can be treated as a gift - as can one given on Christmas. You also should NOT EVER let the man put an insurance policy on the ring - you do it yourself as owner. I've been told of, but never read, case law where the engagement was set, wedding plans were moving forward and the engagement ring was given later. When the engagement was cancelled, the woman was able to keep the ring because the ring itself was not the inducement for the marriage as it was already underway.

addendum
 

I believe the courts view it as the following:

an offer
an acceptance; which equals a meeting of the minds
the engagement ring becomes consideration for the promise to marry.

It is one of few unwritten promises/contracts that courts uphold.

Why I would want to keep the ring...
 

I don't see it as a reminder, I just see it as something I would want. The ring itself can be trashed, but I wouldn't mind putting the stone on a necklace. I guess it depends on how long I had it, and if I was attached to it. The fact that it had sentimental value is all the more reason I'd want to keep it. Failed relationships aren't ALL bad.

I wouldn't look at it as something he gave me, so I'd feel like I owed him something. I don't have that attitude. I feel like I'm entitled to whatever you give me, anyway, shoot, cuz I'm worth more than that rock. I'd look at it as mine, I EARNED IT, because I'm sure I put up with some type of BS somewhere along the way, no matter how small. So, OA, out the window with that mess, lol.

You know, I don't even know why men would try and rumble with us, anyway. We are the loophole findingest people on the planet, lol. Because, best BELIEVE there is a way around everything.

Good point, RowdyRed, good point! :)

I say return the ring but keep the rock and pawn it! :D

If the ring were a family heirloom (someone stated this earlier), I would return it.

If I called off the engagement, I would give it back.

If he called off the engagement, I would give it back.

If I found out he was cheating or something like that, I would call it off and keep it. I wouldn't pawn it, but I would keep the stone for a necklace.

If it is a forced breakup, precipitated by his misdeeds, I'm keeping the sucker. If I end it, I may give it back unless it comes from Tiffany or some kind of class jeweler. :p

Nobody's taking a Tiffany ring from moi.

On a side note, I was on another forum where a woman was asking advice. Her fiancee gave her a CZ ring and apparently lied about it. She discovered it was fake after she nicked it and her jeweler told her.

If that is the case, the jerk gets the ring back and it's off.

If this happenned, then I would most definately be giving his cheap a$$ ring back, cussing him out, and breaking the engagement...:rolleyes: Like a PYT as myself is not worth a REAL diamond...:mad:

Not to mention I WILL bad-mouth you to everyone I come in contact with...Shoot, don't let it be someone that associates in my circle--he will be clowned and then dismissed...

P.S. OA, don't even start w/ the comments!! ;)

I aint sayin' a thang!
 

:D

Well I ended it AND gave the ring back.....only because it was like a grain of sand in a setting.. I swear, it must've been like -0.05 karats....BEST decision I ever made