Too young to be deciding and learning about sororities?
 

Hi! I'm seriously considering recruitment once I go to college. (I'm in the tenth grade but have my top four schools decided.) The schools I'm interested in are the University of Alabama, Clemson, the University of Tennessee at Knoxville, and my local school which has 6 NPC sororities.

My dad is in a fraternity and my mom has co-workers that are alumnae of sororities so I do have a head start on recommendation letters.

I haven't been "groomed" all of my life for recruitment and I will be an out of state student for my ultimate top choice, Alabama. I've read some of the recruitment threads from past years, general advice and I've read the advice from UA Panhellenic's website. I know I'm far too young to be worried about whether I would get a bid and I also have two years and a few months time to get my resume up to where I expect it to be.

I just feel like if I were to start working on making my conversational skills better and talking to family friend alumnae about what to expect I might be better prepared. Is there any advice you could give me as to what I should be doing considering I am so young? Thank you! :)

This really shouldn't even be on your radar until you are actually accepted to schools.

Have fun in High School. You'll see what you want to do when you get there. You might decide in 2 years you don't want to be a sorority girl (just like in 2 years I might decided not to transfer).

I'm in high school too, so obviously I think it's okay to start thinking about rush!

I've grown up listening to my mom talk about her sorority and all the fun she's had, so it's only natural that I'm very interested in greek life. If all goes well, I'll end up going to school veeeeery far away from my hometown, and I hope to join a sorority that will be family away from home. It's a lot of fun to fantasize about your future sorority and sisterhood, and it's never too early to start networking for recommendations :).

Additionally, having good conversation skills can help you in a lot of other aspects of life. It's a great idea to start working on them now, regardless of whether or not you ultimately end up being a sorority girl. I love reading recruitment stories just because they're entertaining, but they will also help me learn from the rush mistakes of others and to imagine my own happy ending. You can also read some of the topics devoted to rush tips.

In all honesty, the presence of greek life is just another factor that helps me narrow down my college choices.

In my opinion you are never too young to practice meeting people and learning to feel comfortable in a new situation.

You are never too young to be involved in school and community activities. You will need these for you resume when you apply to colleges and for a resume for sororities.

You are never too young to work on achieving the highest GPA possible. You will need these for you resume when you apply to colleges and for a resume for sororities.

You are never too young to make sure that your social networking sites show you in the best light. You don't want anything on those sites you would not want your grandmother to see.

You are never too young to make sure that any information about you that finds its way to the internet shows you in the best light possible, i.e. news article showing you participating in community service projects or receiving a scholarship.

Best wishes. Your graduation will be here in the blink of an eye. Enjoy this time.

DaffyKD

I spent all of high school assuming that I would join my mother's sorority when I went to college. I would say I was "groomed" to some extent--we even had practice recruitment conversations, though they were mostly joking. And when I started college? I didn't even want to be in a sorority anymore! Things ended up changing, clearly, since I'm on GreekChat, but my sorority experience didn't happen the way I expected (I'm so happy it happened the way it DID, though).

My point is that you will probably change your mind at least a few times. Right now you should go live your life, and don't read too much on GreekChat or anywhere else. Worry about recruitment again when you are a senior and starting to apply/get accepted to colleges.

You're too young to worry about specifics, but knowing what you can do now to help yourself in the future is a good idea. As said above, make sure you're involved in things you like in high school. DON'T join the debate team if that's totally not your gig just because it's good on a college app. But do get into a variety of activities and do them well. If you have any interest in public speaking or performance kinds of activities, I think that can only help you feel more comfortable in the chaos of rush. And try out for a few things you want to do but don't have a great chance of succeeding at. First, working for things that are hard for you is good, and experiencing failure is a remarkably good thing to get comfortable with.

Keep your grades up, keep your friendships up, make at least passing friendships with the girls in the 2 years ahead of you. Don't glom onto them and be pathetic, but knowing them well enough so they remember you fondly in membership selection can only be helpful. Don't give yourself the reputation of being the class drunk, slut, bitch... be nice to everyone and try to avoid doing things that will embarrass your parents, not so much because they're your parents but because they might be a good gauge for you. Now that's not to say you need to sit home on Friday night knitting, but learning balance and moderation is a very good thing.

Just a gentle and well-intentioned correction:
Unless he was expelled or resigned his membership, your dad is in a fraternity.

Membership is for life, not just for college.

Oops! I fixed it. Thank you for telling me!!

I know I need to sit back and enjoy high school and just represent/improve myself in the best way I can. I am involved, I don't know how much more I'll be able to put on my plate, but I would love to do more if I could!

I'm not going to stress myself out about college or joining a sorority. I'm partly so curious just because it's entertaining to read stories about recruitment and I feel like a lot of the advice about recruitment is applicable to everyday life!

Thank you everyone!

I disagree. If Greek Life is something that interests you, it's never too early to think about how to become the best candidate you can be, as long as you are not fixating on certain chapters at certain schools. Some of the things that will make her a better candidate for sorority membership will also make her a better candidate for admission to colleges.

*Get the best grades you can
*Develop your leadership skills---better to have a few organizations where you are a leader than just a name on paper at a dozen.
*Diversity of organizations are good too, athletics, service, arts, spiritual (if that applies)
*Make a list of all the sorority women you know so when you need recs, you know who to ask
*Practice your conversational skills
*ENJOY HIGH SCHOOL :)

I started reading threads on this website very early in high shool and I learned a lot of valuable information that applied to any stage in life but also mentally prepared myself for what I should expect for recruitment when I was older. Now I am a senior and finally made an account knowing what school I am going to so that I could ask more specific questions. So my personal advice would be to continue reading threads but you probably don't need to start asking specific questions until you know what colleges you actually get into :)

I also want to tell you to RELAX. Even at the very big rushes, most PNM's who have recs and haven't done anything terrible end up with a bid. It may not be from the most popular group, but every NPC group has a very strong sisterhood.

I have this very irrational fear I won't get into any college or end up going to the community college in my town. It's weird because I get great grades, have extra-curriculars, am involved at school and so far have done well on prep tests. Once I actually GET into a college, I'll then proceed to stress about recruitment for absolutely no apparent reason. I just stress about things until they work out, then I feel ridiculous for worrying in the first place! Oh well...

I know it's silly for me to think about these things so young. I'm not kidding you, I've been thinking/talking to my parents about college and how I'll do on the ACT/SAT since I was twelve.

I really do appreciate the advice everyone.

The advice is super--focus on being the best version of yourself, because not only will it help you with recruitment once you're there, it'll help you get into college in the first place.

Here's a point, though, where you think you want to go to college may change 10 times between now and then.

Focus now on making yourself the best possible college applicant that you can (specifically grades and extracurriculars), and the sorority stuff will follow. It's not too early to be learning about the different organizations and trying to find as many possible rec writers as you can for now. I wouldn't start asking them for recs, but develop a kind of checklist of who you know in what org, etc. Work on polishing your social and conversation skills. The conversations in recruitment parties can feel forced and uncomfortable at times; the better you are at small talk, the better you will be in recruitment and, quite frankly, social situations in general.

If you are looking at NPC, try not to get your heart set on any particular organization. When I was in high school, I knew without a doubt that I would be in X organization. I'd never known anyone who was a Kappa. Things work out the way they're supposed to.

I feel ya!

Too young to be learning? No.

Too young to be deciding? Yes, yes, a million times yes.

As others have said, the things you do to prepare yourself for rush are things you should be doing to prepare yourself for college and young adulthood in general. It's not like you're going to take a semester off school to go to a sorority camp that will be pointless if you end up not joining one in college.

I realized deciding wasn't the best word to use. I'm sorry! What I meant by deciding is whether or not I plan on rushing so I could start figuring out who my parents knew in what sororities and learning more about recruitment/the foundation of sororities in general. Again, I apologize. I know that wasn't very clear. Don't worry, I don't know a thing about the sororities other than what they are. :o

I'm definitely going to continue being involved, get involved in more activities and become more well-rounded so I actually will get into a college. I know if I become the absolute best student I can be, and get into a college, I can then worry about recruitment. It's really reassuring to know just staying involved, keeping my grades where they should be and improving conversational skills is the best way for me to prepare at my age.

You need to find a way to dial back the worry. Getting into college is not going to be a problem for you, unless you have your heart set on one of the really competitive schools. So that you don't make yourself crazy, you might think of college like joining a sorority. You need to keep an open mind and look at all of your alternatives. There is nothing wrong with attending a state school (I'm doing just fine, thank you), or the many many schools out there that would love to have you for those 4 years that are not Stanford or Yale. If you're freaking yourself out about this already, you might start looking at "normal" schools where you have a reasonable likelihood of getting in. And going to a college just because it's the toughest to get in (much like sororities) is a recipe for disaster and disappointment. Remember, a lot of really amazing and successful people went to college where "anyone" could get in. So quit freaking out about it.

I'm worried about getting into a state school, even though so far I'm on track to get into one! I don't have an interest in an Ivy or private school, I realized very early that they aren't for me. Like I said earlier, I just have an irrational fear about it. My teachers and parents keep telling me I have no reason to worry, and now you are as well, but I honestly just can't help it. Silly? Yes. Completely unnecessary? Absolutely. Does the fact that I know I'll get into and be happy at a state school make me stop? Nope. I know I'm going to do just fine, but because I worry, I do better. My thinking is, if I am the absolute best I can be at everything I do, I will end up happy somewhere and have the credentials to get to that somewhere. I don't worry about college unless my high school is getting a speech about requirements to get into a college or right around practice tests for the ACT/SAT and also finals/exams. My school kind of puts an elephant on our backs about all of those things. It's supposed to make us more conscious of getting a grade we will be happy with, not one that will let us get by. I really hope that made just a little bit of sense.. :o

From what you've written here, I'm sure you'll be fine as far as getting into college. Part of growing up and maturing is realizing when you need to sweat stuff and when you don't.

Practicing for the ACT/SAT is never a bad idea. If it's possible, you might want to ask your parents to enroll you in a prep class this summer. Not only will it offer you the opportunity to improve your test score, but you will also gain general testing skills that will come in handy.

Have you considered talking to a mental health professional? If you have this much anxiety over getting into college (and obviously it's hard to tell simply from GC posts), you may want to consider something like short-term therapy.

I think maybe venting it all out on GC IS the therapy. :) Sometimes it just feels better to take a word dump and get it all out onto the paper/screen.

Exactly!

cosign.

I don't get a crazy vibe from the OP, just a really young and inexperienced one.

You don't have to be crazy to talk to a professional. As I said, I can't tell from GC if this is just venting, or if she is dealing with the type of anxiety that keeps her up at night.

Does your school have counselors specifically for the college application process? Because I know there were certain times for me that I started worrying about everything more than I needed to and I would go talk to my counselor and things would be cleared up and I would feel more confident. For example with the school that I decided on for a month after submitting all of my information the website kept saying that they were missing my transcript even though my school sent it in even before I applied. I went and talked to my counselor who said this was normal because they have to process all of the paperwork and update their own system first before they would get around to updating it where I could see for myself that they had recieved everything. Once I knew this I could stop worrying so much, and after a while it finally said that I was accepted. I know this isn't your situation but maybe (if your school has this type of counselor) you could check with someone to see what types of students from your school usually are accepted into the schools that you are interested in which might help you stop worrying so much.

I just typed a whole long response and lost the whole thing.

I feel you, OP. I was the same way as a sophomore. Don't be so scared, ok? Seriously, if there's one piece of advice I wish I'd given to myself as a sophomore, it's that high school should be taken seriously AND enjoyed at the same time. I didn't have fun when I spent all my time studying and working towards college (my ECs were a ton of fun, for the most part), and I wish I'd spent more of my time doing enjoyable things). Also, anyone who makes you doubt your chances at a school where your stats/ECs/finances match up (that isn't a top 10 or anything, that is) is probably trying to use motivational fear. I don't like that, but whatever.

Also, please try to make sorority "research" fun. Get sucked into recruitment stories and read the hilarious threads about weird rush stories. Make this enjoyable until you've at least sent in your college apps (then you can start to think about Greek life more seriously).

Also, don't base your college application choices off one specific GLO. I know some seem more interesting than others, but it's not the National that matters-it's the chapter and the individual girls.

Good luck!

Don't worry, it isn't keeping me up at night! I honestly think that wouldn't be a bad idea! A guidance counselor or teacher even would help.

My school does have a counselor for these sort of things. We haven't gone back to school yet, but when we do I'll see if I can talk to her.

amIblue- My school offers an ACT prep class but it is possible they are cutting it next year or making it an elective. If it's still an option I will do it!

Melinda- I honestly only know one other sophomore even thinking about college. I feel like it's weird my peers are looking at prep tests like they don't matter..:confused: I do love my extra curricular's and I do enjoy high school. It's nice to know someone has been in my situation before. I have read some really awesome stories, my favorite being the Bellatrix Lestrange one! They are quite entertaining.

Thank you so much everyone. I really appreciate every bit of advice.

I went to a very pressure-cooker kind of HS, so I definitely heard about college before I even set foot on campus for the first time. But I think researching college before your junior year puts you at a distinct advantage, because it's a time-consuming process, and you'll never wish you had less time to research/take tests/work on your apps.

And I'm glad you find my story entertaining! ;)