Pledge Over 40?
 

I know that some think it might be odd for a person over 40 to want to join a fraternity, but I'd be interested in seeing if anyone here has had experience with older men who are interested in joining a fraternal organization later in life.

I'm returning to college this Spring to get a BSN in Nursing in Southern California and although this will be my second bachelor's degree, I didn't have a chance to join a fraternity the first time around. I assure you, I'm not looking to scam on young girls, since I'm already engaged, and my fiancee is encouraging me to look into fraternities. I truly want to experience Greek Life and be involved with service and brotherhood.

I believe I have a great deal to offer an organization and a lot of life experience to share with my future brothers. I'm a good person and very open-minded and feel that I could learn from other members as much as they could learn from me.

Do you think I would be welcomed during Rush or is this just a pipe dream? all opinions are welcome, positive and negative... and please share your experiences with pledging older members.

Have you looked into Alumni Initiation? I'm not sure how an organization would look at this. The oldest person in my group just graduated a year back, at 27.

Thanx... I started looking into Alumni Initiation... it might be an interesting alternative!

Granted I am swerving out of my lane, I just don't see something like this happening unless the campus is extremely open minded, liberal, perhaps a commuter campus. Keep in mind, you would be pledging with 18-20 year olds, and the superiors for your first few years would be young enough to be your kids. You would witness a LOT of immaturity. How would you handle any sort of "live in" requirement? Would you really be ok with that?

It's worth a thought to give other organizations consideration, those geared more toward older professionals who are interested in brotherhood and service. (I'm thinking Elks, Freemasons, Kiwanas, etc). Why does it have to be a greek letter fraternity?

Perhaps you should look toward a professional fraternity, such as a nursing group. It might not have the same advantages as a social fraternity, but it is something.

Sorry but I can't imagine even the most desperate for members social fraternity at the most liberal commuter school in the country would even look at you. Try to remember back to when you were 18. Your ship has already left the port and traveled halfway around the world.

Like others said, maybe you should look into service organizations.

If we're talking about IFC.

That's what he's talking about.

Maybe.

Either way, I wasn't refuting what you were saying, so my post still stands.

Since you are looking at Southern California schools, greeklife is often more open to different types of members and individual chapters may be willing. Many men come out of the military with experience that chapters often want, and you would be welcome. A few months ago, I met a gentleman from the army who attends UM Kansas City and is a well-received associate in the LXA chapter.

My thoughts would be to seek out the veterans on your campus and see what any of them have done. Also, look at chapters that have mentor programs such as Balanced Man, True Brother, or similar programs that may suit you better.

There's a big difference between a 24 year old military veteran and a 40 year old professional, not just in age but in experience. I would focus on the professional fraternities. It will still provide you some of the brotherhood you're after minus some of the 18 year old crap you'd get sick of in about 5 minutes. I'm not sure how the service fraternities look on this sort of age situation, but that may be another avenue to follow.

Although technically it would be possible to join an NIC fraternity, and AI is also a (stretch) possibility, I don't think they'd offer you what you really want/need. I haven't seen it come up regarding fraternities in the past, but if you look at some of the AI threads you'll get an idea of likelihood and what's actually involved.

I don't know about SoCal, but here in Oklahoma, we'd stamp your card and send you on your way. At best, you might be picked up by one of the more desperate-for-numbers houses which are depending on a good Rush to stay alive, but that's really about it.

AI probably isn't an option. I wouldn't waste too much time on that Fraternities don't generally do that, although I've twice been a party to it, in each case, it involved our active chapter petitioning our national governing body.

Whoever said you ought to pursue membership with the Elks/Lions/Masons/Knights of Columbus, is probably making the best suggestion here.

That said, if you rush and get in somewhere, I think we'd all be very interested to hear about that.

I have to say, the Elks would be the best option for you. Their website seems pretty open about membership.

As for AI, the only people I see initiated in my group are rabbis. I haven't heard of another fraternal group doing AI however.

I would think even that would be rare, because if a chapter is in a "rebuilding year", the last thing they want is to be known as "the chapter with that 40-year-old pledge".

I am kinda wondering why the OP's girlfriend recommended a fraternity. Was she a sorority girl, and so she wants you to have the same experience? That's just not going to happen.

BUT, as other people have mentioned, professional or service fraternities could be options for you, and I know many people who've had strong experiences in those groups.

I have a feeling she could get lots less encouraging once he started having to attend sorority mixers without her.

I'm both Greek and a Mason. I'm also slightly older then most college students. That being said I think that an organization like the Masons would be a better fit then a Greek fraternity for somebody in your demographics.

If you're not afraid of possibly being rejected by every fraternity you pursue, then there's no harm in trying.

I'm not going to join the chorus of people offering alternatives, because I'm not really hearing that you really want an alternative, but I think you need to see what it's like for yourself on your own campus.

I am open to alternatives... It was really just an idea.. not something I'm stuck on... I'm going to school first and foremost to get my education and my degree. After reading the websites of fraternities, I think they are rather misleading in that they claim to focus on service and scholarship. however, after reading the responses, it seems that partying and antics seems to be the primary focus, if not the only one. It's highly unlikely that I will pursue this route, and after more research, I have found some great organizations that really do focus on service to the community and welcome people of all ages.

I really appreciate all your input, because I really didn't have a good handle of what is involved in a fraternity and didn't want to judge it based on what I've seen in movies. Thanks again for all your honest and frank responses..it was a big help.

The bold is not really correct.

Good luck with whatever you end up doing. I hope everything works out for the best.

Word to the wise:

You were an interest who came to Greekchat to type to (mostly older than college age) members of fraternities (and sororities). Refrain from appearing to blow smoke up your own ass since you are the one who came here claiming to be interested in a fraternity. The fraternity was not pursuing you.

It is fine if you have done additional research and have changed your mind. Do not embed your decision in there being something wrong with the fraternities. There are many fraternities with different age ranges and different cultures. Good luck with whatever else you have found.

There is really no need to get nasty, I honestly wasn't trying to be disrespectful, but just responding to the responses on this thread and calling it like i see it. People seem to agree that it isn't a good idea for someone my age to join a fraternity, because of behavior of 18 year olds, how it would "appear" to outside people and that it would be a cold day in hell before I would even be considered because of my age.

That's OK with me.. I was just trying to get a feel for what the atmosphere would be like, and I think I got my answer. However, don't pretend that the prejudices don't exist, because after reading the responses, it's clear that I'm not "embedding"anything.

Likewise. Good luck to you.

Then you really shouldn't be advising someone to do something you know very little about.

It's been said many times before on GC - AI is not a direct alternative to collegiate membership. As an alumnus initiate your fraternity experience is going to be very different than that of someone who joins as an undergraduate.

:rolleyes:

This seems like a more productive use of your time.

There are a million and one reasons other than "partying and antics" that make 18 year olds not want to hang out with pepaw.

Everyone pushing the service fraternity, please STFU. That is not what it's for.

Same for the people pushing AI. Again, that's not what it's for.

And just because a chapter is using a certain program (i.e. Balanced Man) does not mean the chapter is really down with it. To assume they will be more "openminded" is folly (and also kind of offensive).

LADodger213 - there will most likely be a campus group for returning and/or nontraditional students at your school. Join at your earliest opportunity. They will be able to give you the "lay of the land" concerning Greek life and campus orgs at YOUR school far better than we can.

LOL. This must be GC's holiday theme.

That's the best response I've read thus far. Thanx!

I realize this doesn't really matter since OP has changed his mind, but I'm curious - would he even be eligible to rush? He said in his first post that he is pursuing his second bachelor's degree. The very first thing that I thought of is that this would make him ineligible, but no one else has mentioned it so now I'm wondering if my gut reaction was way off base.

Can someone who has already graduated and received a bachelor's degree join a fraternity as an undergraduate member?

I don't see why not if he is pursuing a bachelor's degree. It's an interesting question though. It probably doesn't happen often enough for most organizations to have rules regarding it.

You're probably right.

As for the general topic of second bachelors degrees, Delta is one of the NPHC organizations that specifies. Delta's National website states "the student is taking courses leading to her first/initial baccalaureate degree or its equivalent."

Someone pursuing a second bachelor's or attending a university for graduate school can officially pursue membership through, and be affiliated with, an alumnae chapter and (if so desired) unofficially affiliate (or associate) with the collegiate chapter. I know NPHC fraternity members who became members through graduate chapters but you would think they were part of the collegiate chapter because they were so involved, even when they were aspirants.

I seem to remember that there are some NPC sororities that prohibit it.