Greeks dating GDI's
 

Hey everyone, I'm currently a GDI (as the greek's refer to me as), but I'm thinking of rushing next fall. Anyways, my bf just joined a fraternity and apparently all of his brothers are giving him crap about dating a GDI. We've been dating for almost 2 years, but I just don't see why a greek dating a GDI is taboo. Can someone explain this to me? Being a GDI, this leads my bf and other frat friends who are dating GDI's seriously to wonder if they can still pin/lavaliere their girlfriends. Yes? No? What are the rules for these types of things? Thank you in advance to anyone who replies!

Let your boyfriend research and figure out whether or not he can still pin/lavaliere you.

As for this whole dating a GDI thing, that probably has to do with the social aspects, and perks, of being in Greek lettered organizations. Such things that seem important when you are a college student become less important years later.

1. I don't understand the "Greek vs GDI" thing, but apparently it's a big deal at some schools

2. You need to let your BF worry about finding the details about pinning/lavaliering, as it varies from organization to organization.

ETA: DrPhil types faster than I do. I owe her a soft cookie.

I totally mean this in the nicest way possible, but, who cares what other people think? Just be yourself and hopefully your boyfriend will continue to appreciate you for who you really are. Dr. Phil made a great point about this whole situation appearing to be more serious than it actually is/should be.

Knight, I agree on point #1. It depends on the people, I suppose. I am a Freshman at Auburn and I'm in a Fraternity. My girlfriend, who I met down here, is also a Freshman, and just so happens to belong to a sorority. With that being said, before we officially became involved in a relationship, I went on dates with quite a few girls, with the greater percentage being Independent. For me, personally, I could really care less if someone of the opposite sex I was interested in was involved in Greek Life.

The campus really has a friendly atmosphere, and while Greek Life does play a role on the campus, it does not dominate. But, with it being an SEC school with a large Greek Life (in comparison to other schools), there are quite a few people (both males and females) that do not feel the way I do on the whole "Greek vs. Independent" debate.

I never understood the whole "Independent" thing. Unless you plan on going through college without making any kind of connections with anybody, you aren't independent.

1. Being able to pin/lavaliere depends on your organization, so it would depend on what his particular fraternity says.

2. I transferred from a SEC school (Mississippi State) with a large Greek population and there was a lot of talk about the whole greek dating an independent deal and basically what it boiled down into was the view that if you are not part of the greek life system, then you're not really anybody of importance (unless you're high in the ranks of the student association) and why should they waste their time with you. If you were somebody worth going out with, you would be part of the ~1000 women in an panhellenic sorority.

3. I don't really get that, but being in a relationship with an independent myself, I can see some advantages to dating another greek. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely happy with my boyfriend, but he doesn't get a lot of the stuff going on with my fraternity, or why we have to do certain stuff and all that. My brothers give me a fair amount of hell for dating outside greek life.

Sometimes when guys first join a fraternity, a certain amount of crap about ANY girl they're dating is expected. Especially if it's a longterm relationship. A lot of times it's a testing kind of thing. Then the guys get used to the girl and everything's fine.

Be as sweet as pie to his brothers AND their girlfriends and make them feel like a-holes for saying anything unkind about you. If you want to rush, go ahead and good luck, but do it for YOU, not because you feel like you have to (not that I get that vibe from you at all).

As far as pinning, that's something determined by his chapter/org. If his org says he can't lavalier a non-Greek, he can just get you a nice big ol' cocktail ring instead. :)

rant/

I despise the term GDI.

/end rant

This. I was going to respond that it just sounds to me like this is the one thing they've found that they can pick on him about. This is what guys do. I wouldn't worry too much about it. My experience has been that sorority women care more about this issue than fraternity men.

Me too! Especially because I think it is used inappropriately in many circumstances. If I do understand, it really refers to anti-Greeks, not non-Greeks. I have friends who aren't Greek but would like to be (they just aren't for whatever reason) or still respect the system. That's hugely different from the people who think the Greeks serve no purpose in the community (ironically, one of the first upperclassmen I dealt with at SC practically kicked a few people off the stairs when we were blocking her path! I'm happy to say that I know very few people who are truly "GDI" in that sense).

Side note: why is topic so popular now?

I have to play devil's advocate a bit here. I know it sounds harsh, but most of the issue with Greek & GDI relationships all fall back on inclusion.

If you're a proclaimed GDI (We refer to them as Nons or Potentials; depending) then you haven't had the experience that is Greek life. Simply put: You're not one of us. You don't understand the importance of the things we do in the same way that a sorority girl does. They have the same experiences relating to rituals, learning creeds, and the pledge process that changes a person. You haven't had that, and while you may still be supportive of him eventually things of that nature will come between you.

His brothers are giving him a hard time because they know it, just as I do, and they're preparing him. Either he is going to not let you go and he will pass through their tests. Or he will dump you for a sorority girl before the the end of 2012. Either way he will still spend less time with you (this is why Greeks date Greeks) because you won't be allowed to participate with his new friends and new obligations. Greek events are for Greeks and you're not one.

All of that meanness aside. I hope that your relationship lasts. Maybe things will go different for you. Or maybe you'll become a sorority woman. No matter what happens. Good luck.

I know plenty of Greeks who have dated/are dating non-Greeks. It's not as if all non-Greek relationships are destined to fail.

And I think some of these guys need to get lives if their missions in life are to weed out their brothers' non-Greek girlfriends.

This may be one of the dumbest posts I've ever read on GC.

You know. Devil's advocate is never a liked position. I'm not saying that it's going to happen, nor that I necessary approve of it. I just brought the other side of the argument to the thread.

As Dr. Phil says, "The Devil doesn't need an advocate.":mad:

LOL

I joined my sorority during my junior year of college. My boyfriend at the time joined his fraternity as a freshman. We will be getting married in June.

His membership in his fraternity did not cause him to spend less time with me before I joined a sorority. His fraternity commitments did not have any negative impacts on our relationship.

Greek events are not always just for Greeks. I went to many functions as my fiance's date and was always treated with respect by his brothers.

I just attended two weddings where one person was Greek and the other wasn't.

Yes, if one person is Greek and the other isn't, it's certainly fair to say that they will have different experiences. But that doesn't in anyway mean that the relationship is destined for failure.

Basically, dandrew, what I'm saying is STFU.

What do you mean devil's advocate is never a liked position, or that you're not necessarily saying you approve?

I have a feeling you don't know what it means to be devil's advocate.

Ding ding ding!! Winner winner chicken dinner!

someone that takes a position he or she does not always agree with, just for the argument.

I know what I mean. Don't hate.

Close. Someone who argues a position he doesn't agree with as a means of testing the soundness of and identifying weaknesses in the original argument. (Unless one wants to be literal about it, in which case it's a canon lawyer who argues against canonization of a saint. Or, for a nod to pop culture, a movie with Al Pacino and Keanu Reeves.)

Not hating. Don't assume disagreement means hate, and don't assume hate where none is expressed. ;)

:D
Listen. I am not trying to get off on the wrong foot. I just feel that you all act like it's not happening, but it is. There are two sides to every coin. I just felt like one side of the argument wasn't being shown. Is that such a bad thing?

That's not what you did. Instead of saying "Some stay together, some don't," you essentially said "she will be tested by fraternity brothers and he will inevitably dump her."

You said it as if it was dogma.

I guess you didn't read Dr. Phil's post (the second post in the thread):

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil (Post 2111694) As for this whole dating a GDI thing, that probably has to do with the social aspects, and perks, of being in Greek lettered organizations. Such things that seem important when you are a college student become less important years later.

Nobody said it wasn't happening. What was said is that it can be superficial when it happens.

I forgot I posted in this boring thread.

I'm only posting this because I'm sick of collegians coming here and giving us all a bad name.

From a female perspective, I don't think there's any reason why "having less of an understanding of the significance of ritual blah blah whatever" should impact a relationship between two adults.

Then again, I can't prove that anyone in the OP's situation is actually an "adult."

If a guy doesn't want to date one of my awesome unaffiliated friends just because she isn't Greek, he's missing out, big-time.

If a guy only wants to date me because I have letters, he's an idiot. I'm sorry, but he is. And he's probably not worth my time, either.

Well, not every thread can include Geraldo's nose being punched into pieces.

I'm from a school that is 75% guys. We don't really put much stock in GDI, if you can gets chick (like my boy did me) her being Greek doesn't make a dang bit of difference.

Why can't THIS thread be deleted?

LMAO.