HELP!
 

So I'm really interested in an org on my campus and I've already started the paperwork and the "legal" way to do gain membership but the members of that org on my campus are pledging me and have been since before I started the legal process. I really would prefer to do it the legal way (my conscious is driving me crazy. How can something be "tradition" when the founders didn't do it and I'm sure, wouldn't support it) but I dont know how the ppl in the org will accept me or if they even will if I made that decision. And how do i even make that decision? I've expressed my doubts to them plenty of times but its like they dont hear me. I dont know what I should do? pledge because it "tradition" even though I dont believe in it? or do what i believe in/trust and have my "sisters" reject me?

This makes no sense. If you want help, you must provide more info.

how does it not make sense? its very clear. they want me to pledge...i dont want to. i dont believe it in. do i continue just because someone "told me so", or do i quit and be rejected by them.

Okay, my mistake. it is clear. They want you to pledge. You don't want to. Don't.

There are other people in the world besides these women. Go find new friends, but you should probably quit suggesting there are things that 'bother your conscience' or that 'the founders would not support.'

Why? If something bothers my conscience...I can't/won't deny it.

This. If whatever's going on is bothering your conscience, then don't be a part of it. Simple as that. Regarding whether the founders would support it or not, that's not really of your concern since you're not a member of the group.

If you don't want to pledge, that is your choice. Don't bad mouth the group. Once you decide it is not for you, you don't get to decide if it is right or wrong for others, and spreading this info will cast you in a negative light. If you are going to de-pledge, do it with class.

But I am. I am a legal, official member. (i copied and pasted that paragraph from another site where I thought people would reply/help but they didnt, so i posted here. sorry for the confusion) despite me being a member, im not "done" yet. thats why im asking if i should just quit.

I'm not bad mouthing anyone or any group. You, gee_ess, seem to be very judgmental and this is the same rejection that i was trying to avoid. yes, you have your opinions, but share them respectfully. dont talk, or type, down to me.

Confused1 - I am sorry you feel I am being critical. I was simply trying to give you some straightforward, no drama advice. Your dilemma seems fairly easy to fix. My apologies.

However, based on this post:
But I am. I am a legal, official member. (i copied and pasted that paragraph from another site where I thought people would reply/help but they didnt, so i posted here. sorry for the confusion) despite me being a member, im not "done" yet. thats why im asking if i should just quit.,

I am thoroughly confused. Hopefully, someone else can be of more help to you.

No hard feelings. Thank you for your apology, it is well appreciated. And my apologies for my snappiness, I'm just a little stressed out which is probably clear. Its a pretty simple, complex issue. I am a member but not done with my "process", so I'm asking if I should just quit the "process" because I am a member, I'd just be called "paper". I guess my main concern is , "is it really that bad to be called paper?". It seems as though its horrible, but I don't see the issue. I'm not sure if I'm just being naive.

So basically they are expecting to be able to continue to haze you even though you've crossed?

yes.

Maybe you ought to talk to someone in your national organization then.

You are referring to an NPHC org, right?

I believe that if you are already a member (initiated and all that) you should be able to prove it in other ways rather than just some paper from online. Perhaps you aren't a full member yet and haven't been initiated.

Anyways, the chapter at your campus wants you to go through the same process they all did to join. I suggest going through with it as they will never accept you otherwise, and your status as a member will have no use unless you are a member of the chapter at your campus.

This person is not talking about an actual piece of paper, jazing.

This situation screams non-NPC/IFC, so some of the advice given seems a little off.

That is what I thought.

Who the OP contacts and what the OP does from this point on is completely up to the OP. I have no advice to give and I suggest the OP ignores all GC advice.

It's really not that difficult a dilemma. You seem to have two realistic choices:

1) Go through whatever it is they want you to go through; or

2) Quit.

I guess, technically, you could report your chapter to their national office (or however that works) and law enforcement, etc., but don't expect to do that and not suffer at least some negative consequences if you choose that path.

Yes, you can have your conscience or your membership. It is possible to end up with both but you can't plan on that. Hazing is a real and serious problem. It shouldn't be tolerated and should be reported. But don't think the rest of the chapter is going to be thrilled with you having done so.

And by the way, getting all testy because people can't figure out what the f&^k you're talking about is completely absurd. It took you forever to get to your point and the original information was erroneous. You said they "were pledging you" and then you said you were an "official legal member." I still don't know if that means you've pledged or crossed. The fact that anyone would ask for more information or give erroneous information is completely on you.

I think the information given would make sense if one was in or familiar with NPHC/NALFO organizations.

Yep. I recognized this as such from sentence one of the OP and wasn't the least confused. However, understanding the question doesn't mean there's an appropriate answer for it, other than no one here, or anywhere on the net, can give you an answer. That's why the other place you posted this didn't give you the answer either. The problem with the question has nothing to do with interweb realty.