what was their reaction?
 

Over the holiday i announced my intentions to rush in the spring. I was a little surprised by the reactions i got from people. I brought the subject up to my parents while we were driving to a relatives house and they were supportive my mom was all gung ho about it my dad gave me the whole be careful etc etc etc speech that he gives me everytime i say i want to do something.

I was just wondering what reaction others got when they said they were rushing. The reaction from my friends was a little surprising, they all seemed a little cold to the idea except my one friend Zach who tried to nudge me in the direction of his fraternity until i told him they had left my campus. I found it interesting the reasons people were and were not supportive of the idea. Anybody else?

I would bet a lot of people will echo ths opinion, perhaps because they experienced it themselves.

The main reason most people may not offer support is because you are choosing to be independant of your peer group. They may view it as being abandoned or having "something" chosen OVER them.
It's human nature to form "packs" and seek comfort from conformity. Change, they say, is difficult for many people to deal with. Striking out on your own can cause people to rethink their own choices and resent you on many levels. They may think they will lose your friendship, they may fear you will change your feelings about them. Also, they may have their heads in a different place and see Greek Life in a negative light or think you are "silly" and choose to ignore the whole issue and wait for the outcome.
Just reading the rush threads it seem ALMOST universal, so many people experienced a change in the way their indepndant friends treated them. As for your parents, you never really know unless you ask them straight up and they can answer you with the same honesty.

As always, JAM, you are right on target!

I will just add that this holds true for so many things in life, not just the decision to go Greek. Any time you opt to "go against the tide", you will find plenty of resistance to try to discourage you. It's up to you to make the choices that will, in turn, bring YOU happiness.

Case in point: I spent my junior year abroad in Spain. It changed my life forever - I'm not kidding; I've spent most of my life since then, here in Europe. I knew when my year of study was finished, I would not ever wish to return to live in the USA on a permanent basis. I knew this in my heart. But, as JAM pointed out, when I told my friends and family that I would not be returning to the States to live, EVER, they all felt "abandoned" and fearful that it would spell the end of friendships/other relationships.

It's been over 15 years now, and I can say that I have held on to the friends that respected my decision - and my family finally saw that they had no choice in the matter, and so they also learned to accept it. To those who belittled MY decision - they were indeed the weakest link, and so I said "goodbye" to them.

Cowboyduff, TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE. You are the only one who has to live "in your skin", so to speak. I hope you find that Greek life is for you, and that it brings you as much happiness as it has to most of us on this BB; please keep us all posted on the outcome no matter what, however.

Just do what feels right to you. My parents were very suportive all they wanted is if My grade failed that I take a break from the fraternity. I never had to take a break because I worked hard. You just need to prove joining a GLO won't affect you any.

My parents thought it was great. Most people get grief from their parents, it seems, but my dad just thought of all the positive things: building leadership skills, lifelong friendships etc My dad's a pretty independent thinker so I don't know if he just ignored all the steroetyes from the media or if he had actually never heard them. Either way, my they were very excited for me.
Heidi

My dad thought that I would be blacked balled. Long story as to why he thought that. Anyway, most people were like "geez you're gonna be a frat boy?" That reply got old, because the one guy was wearing letters when he said it. Letters for an honor society but still. Some people thought it was cool though.

Billy, I can't imagine you offending anyone to that degree. But then, we all have a skeleton or two...at least I know I do.

Mom, wasnt too thrilled about it at all. My cousin went to college in the town we lived in, my aunt asked her to like watch over him and he pledged (and still is a member) of XYZ. Well needless to say he ended up in the hospital 2x :(. My cousin , suprisingly, cuationed me from it but had no problem. My friends knew about it and just asked that i didnt change, but had no problem with it. The only issues people kind of had were why did i join NPC instead of NPHC. When i would come back, people would ask if they treated me ok and other yada yada stuff.

My parents didn't mind as long as it didn't make my grades drop.

I thought my parents would be difficult about it, but they weren't at all. I still don't know if they really 'get' what its all about, but they've always been very careful to let me make my own decisions and support me come what may.

My parents knew I would rush, as I'd seen all my older friends do it and talked about it NONSTOP my senior year in hs. Once I pledged, though, they went Zeta crazy! I mean, I've got strawberry placemats for my apartment, crown-shaped picture frames, ZTA stained glass, cups, clocks, you name it. My big sis wasn't so great, but I was so spoiled by my folks it didn't even matter. When I took my own little, they filled up a whole 32 gal. cooler with ZTA gifts for her (all of our littles get gifts every day for three weeks and then a big cooler). My little is spoiled too!

Even though I was initiated two years ago, my folks are still so supportive - they love to meet my ZTA sisters and send us gifts and cards. At Parents' Weekend (we have one both semesters) they have a ball meeting everyone's families and even go out to eat with my sisters' families at home. My dad was a Sigma Pi in college and my mom was a Pika little sister, so they've known their share of Greek life. Plus here in the South, nearly everyone's Greek! I guess I'm a little unfamiliar with other reactions, but I'm grateful my family is as understanding and involved as they are!

My entire family was Greek at U of I, so rushing was even less of an option than coming to U of I.

I'm the first in my family to go Greek.

My mother was "kind of" supportive - she didn't really know what it was all about, since she went to school overseas, but basically her attitude was "if you want to join a sorority, go ahead, but you have to pay for it". Which is reasonable.

My dad was vehemently opposed. I gather that he had a negative experience with the Greek system on his campus. (Maybe he rushed and didn't get a bid - I don't know.) Then again, my dad is vehemently opposed to just about anything I do - too bad for him that I'm an adult and can do as I please :p

Yeah i've gotten mixed reactions. My Mom is "go ahead it'll be good for you! And you'll get to do all that fun stuff and it'll look good on a resume and you'll make friends" and she keeps going on and on. My dad who is usually pessimistic about everything anyway is all like "be careful, are you sure you know what you are doing etc etc." My friends are kinda like well if you want to but my one friend is like "YOU A FRAT BOY? I'll have to get used to THAT!" anyway the stories are interesting keep them coming!

My parents were all for it - it was something I had considered doing since I was in grade 11, so they knew I was excited about it. UBC is a huge school (30,000+) so they saw this as a good way to meet new people. Also my cousin and his wife are alumni of UBC's greek system, so they filled my parents in on all the fun stuff. I even had my grandparents blessing on this one :). My parents saw how much I enjoyed Greek life they encouraged my brother to join a fraternity when he started UBC this autumn. 10 years ago no one in my [immediate] family was a greek now there is one beta, one kappa, one dphie :), and one sigma chi!

I got the worst reaction from my friends, and I know for at least some of them it was because it was they were scared. Some of our mutual friends went greek, and hardly ever talk to anyone who isn't in their glo. They were furious that I was rushing because they thought I was ditching them to hang out with greek people. I still talk to them and I hope I have proved them wrong you can have friends outside your glo and still be an involved sister. As for my fam I know that I single handedly changed my sisters perception of greek since she went to same school that I did and she hated them, now she sees the other side. I think people aren't mad at you for rushing they are just scared you are going to change into a sterotypical greek drunk all the time and only hanging out with other greek people. Prove them wrong be the great person you are now and join a frat, you can be an awesome guy and in a fraternity, contrary to popular opinion. Good luck any fraternity would be happy to have you!

My mom was greek, my dad was a GDI and my stepmom was a hippie. My mom made me go through rush, my dad supported the idea b/c he wanted to make sure I made friends in the large university setting and my stepmom was like, "drop out of rush if you want, you'll be fine."

In the end, my mom was supportive of my affiliation, my dad loved to have all my friends over to our house for retreats or dinner and holidays and my stepmom was the biggest gungho mom on the parent's committee. She became a diehard sorority supporter and was the mastermind behind many a rush idea and all of our rush flowers. She really showed how people's attitudes can change when they get to know what greek life is really about.

Neither of my parents went to college and so they really had no clue what greeks were like except animal house. I am the baby of three with two older brothers who neither one went greek, so being the first female to go to college and the first greek in my family was weird. My mom was like 'why are you doing this? It is so expensive and you already have plenty of friends" my dad thought it was aphase or a joke. Neither of them even asked about what it really was. They just assumed. I would come home and tell them about all the fun I was having and they warmed up. Now they really wouldnt know who I am with out my sisters. I had to pay for it all myself though. They still dont understand and my brothers both tease me about my paid friends. My friends from home thought it was hilarious because they said Iwasnt girlie enough to be in a sorority. Last week we went out and they teased me because they say I am now just a sorority girl... I take that as a compliment though cause they think sorority girls are really classy and always on the ball.. I guess the hardest was my parents though. they didnt and still dont understand why I love it so much, maybe with time I can show them!

I didn't offend anyone but when my dad was in college he went to a two year place, then went to the same school I do. My uncle was a juinor when my dad was there i think. My uncle joined, and a couple fraternties tried to get my dad to rush but he didnt like a couple of them and thought they would black ball him and he was about to graduate and was already engaged so he didn't join. That was the long story. The point?? Doesn't have one, he just worries about that stuff.

my mom was in a sorority (Purdue/AGD) so she was really excited when I decided to rush - very supportive of whatever my decision would be and just plain happy i was making the most of the college experience!
my dad was funny about it, he just said, what i'm going to be footing the bill for this too, right ? of course dad ;) but i could tell he would be happy as long as I was happy - he wasn't greek, but his sister was, so he never thought greek life would be bad for me.
my older sister was indifferent - she doesn't exactly like or agree with the greek system - its just not her thing. she went to the university of illinois for her first year of college, but she said it was too greek for her, the system kind of runs the social life down there.
my younger sister though it was great - she steals my event shirts (especially the fraternity ones!!!) whenever i go home and she loves my sisters and they love itwhen she comes to visit - needless to say, I'm hoping she'll come to Iowa (but she's really interested in Maryland and Georgetown too!) and pledge DZ - but if she doesn't, i know she'll be an asset to whatever lucky sorority that gets her!
My friends, thats where the support kind of stops. I think out of my huge group of high school friends, a grand total of 6 of us went greek - 2 guys here went Kappa Sig and 2 gous went Sigma Chi at U of Illinois and a DG at u of IL too - that's it. Everyone always thought greek life was a waste of time/money and nothing but a bunch of cookiecutter look alikes. theyre all completely happy not to be greek - and they realize that i'm hapy where i am too. its hard b/c at school i have two groups of friends who compete for my attention - and i hate to turn either of them down for weekend plans. I usually go out with my sisters and other greek friends one night and my high school friends the next - we've tried all doing something together, but they really don't have that much in common, or at least that's what they say....

reactions
 

My friends were all surprised. I actually still get made fun of and get comments about buying my friends. It still upsets me, but I let it roll off my back rather than letting them have their fun with getting me riled up. My parents were supportive, I think the only thing they were worried about was how I was going to pay for it. My mom loves making letters for my boyfriend and I and listening to my stories of being a part of it since she chose to marry my dad instead of finishing school. She always said that if she had been able to go to a school with sororities, she might have joined one.

It's funny to hear about you guys going home and having friends or family be unsupportive about your decision to go Greek. When I go home, it's more of a comparison of who joined which GLO, who got their first choice, who has the biggest pledge class, etc.

Question: What do y'all say when your family and friends give you a hard time or question your decision? How do you defend yourself, or do you at all?

The best reply is my friends and family seeing what great sisters I have and what awesome friends they are to me. I don't need to say a word I think they understand what an amazing sisterhood I have.

My mother was very supportive. She wanted me to have a great college experience. Some people were surprised that I became a "sorority girl" but they adjusted. I'm glad that I did it and would do it again! :D

My parents wanted me to rush, actually. It was expected from the start, ever since my parents discovered that they would be having a baby girl. My mom was a Kappa Kappa Gamma in college (well, she still is...she's an Alumna now), and my father is/was a Sigma Alpha Epsilon.

They've been nothing but supportive of my sorority and the activities that I do in my sorority. They've "adopted" my sisters and treat them like their own daughters.

My mother had been a little sad that I chose Theta, however. I had preffed Kappa Kappa Gamma and also Delta Delta Delta along with Theta, and she fully expected that I would go Kappa, since I was a legacy. I surprised her though and went Theta. But, that has been the best decision I have made so far in my 20 years and my mother has also agreed that going Theta was the best for me!

Wishing you the best, cowboyduff!

Great post, tridgirl!

Greek love,

Well Said. My parents were very scared about my intentions to going greek. My mom was pretty quiet about it and my dad too. However my dad was more comical about it and would poke fun at me. Still does but its really just in good fun. I just think they've never grasped the concept. I'd say its even more difficult for my younger brother but we agree to disagree. My sister in law is an AGD(shes really cool) and one of my moms brothers is a Phi Delt Alum(his wife is a DZ alum too). So we do have some greek affiliation in the family but its rarely talked about. However, all of that never stopped me from being a very proud Beta :)