A few questions
 

I realize there is no way for anyone reading this to tell me what my chances of getting a bid are. However, I am a sophomore rushing and most of the other rushees are freshman. Do you think that helps or hurts my chances of getting in? Most of the frat members are sophomores and a few juniors. Also, if you could give me a guess, how many people do you think are in an average fraternity at a 10,000 student school? Thanks.

:)

What is an average fraternity?

And what is stopping you from seeing how many members there are when you're going through rush?

Being anything other than a freshman, generally, is a negative. How much it affects you depends on your school and whether sophomores pledge often. At my own school, for example, sophomores pledging was a very normal occurrence.

At some schools with a 10k enrollment, fraternity chapters could be 70-80 members. At other schools, they could be 20-30 members. It really depends on your school.

The term "average fraternity" is pretty broad and can vary so much from school to school. My oldest son attends a southern university that has right at 20,000 students and 14 IFC fraternities. Chapter memberships typically range from about 35 brothers up to almost 100. Several fall into the 50-60 member range. My son has several former classmates at Valdosta State which has about 12,000 students, and again, fraternities of various sizes. I know of one that has about 35 brothers and another that has over 60. (I also have a good friend whose son just pledged at the University of Georgia and his Fall 2011 pledge class alone has almost 50 young men!)

As Knight Shadow said, just check out the individual chapters at your school when you rush. You can also visit their websites. Many have member listings that are open to public view and you may be able to see a headcount there.

As for sophomore status being a negative, again, it depends on the school. I do know guys who have rushed and pledged strong chapters as sophomores, and doing so does not seem to be as difficult as it can be for sophomore girls participating in sorority recruitment. Fraternities are not limited by quotas like sororities are, so that can help. STILL, and sorry to keep saying it, but it does depend on your school and its Greek culture.

The major criteria to getting a bid is whether the fraternity members consider you to be a good addition to their brotherhood. Be open to learning about all the chapters and finding the right fit -- and think about what you have to bring to the table. Good luck with recruitment!

Sorry for not being clear. I'm trying to figure out how many bids they are giving out without asking them. Currently there are 19 members.

Also, does the president have the ultimate decision in who gets the bids, or is a group vote? I guess what I'm asking is if the president has more power in the acceptance process than the rest of the members. Thanks.

We don't know "them" so we don't know how many bids "they" are giving out. That's not something you should be worrying about, though. You need to put your best foot forward and hope for the best.

How members are chosen is not something that non-members are privy to.

Sure, but I think there could still be an answer to that question.

That doesn't make sense.

The way my fraternity chooses members may differ from the way Joe Smith's fraternity chooses members. Hell, the way my CHAPTER chooses members may be different than the way another chapter of my fraternity chooses.

Again, we are not "them" so we don't know. And as a non-member, it's really not your business. The only thing you can do is present yourself in a positive light so that the brothers can determine whether or not you are a good fit.

The president of the frat keeps inviting me to hang with the fraternity even out side of rush. Is this a good sign for getting a bid, or does it not really matter?

Your question has been answered.

It depends. We don't know what his intentions are. We can't read his mind.

My best advice to you is to hang out with these guys and talk to them. Strangers on the internet have no idea if a fraternity at your school wants to give you a bid or what a good sign is. I've hung out with people who I knew my chapter had no plans on giving a bid to.

If your father was in the frat you are rushing, does that give you a much better chance of getting in, or is that just a myth?

Sorry, im new to this whole frat thing. An explanation would be nice.

The stuffed unicorn is rolling its eyes in an animated picture saved in the .gif format.

Generally, fraternity legacies are given much consideration. However, it is not a guarantee.

Then let me give you a word of advice before someone else does. FYI, some (though not all) fraternity members consider the term "frat" offensive, as it can carry something of an immature party animal connotation. Some even consider it very offensive. Unless you've heard fraternity members on your campus regularly using the term, you're safer sticking with "fraternity."

My other word of advice: Take a deep breath and relax.

A few brothers in the frat told me that being a legacy is an automatic bid. Geez, that was easier than I thought.

Really?? Well, I guess different chapters at different schools have their procedures regarding legacies, but I sure know and know of people (guys and girls both) who have been cut by their legacy houses. (I addressed this some in another thread you asked a question in, but you may not have seen my response yet.) I have a friend feeling the sting right now. In August, her son was cut by the fraternity his dad and grandfather are members of. Come to think of it, I believe she told me an uncle was also a member.

My oldest son just accepted a bid from his legacy. Several men in our family, including his dad, are members, with two being past presidents of their chapters and one being a founding member of his. Even with the long standing family involvement with this fraternity, my son was advised by his dad not to approach recruitment all cozy and comfortable with his legacy standing -- he knows those bids don't always come.

Again though, different chapters at different schools may do it their own way. Personally, I wouldn't like it. What if the legacy is a rude, obnoxious, arrogant jerk with a history of causing trouble, barely makes grades and is disrespectful to women? Who would like having to extend an automatic bid to someone they know will not be a good representative of their organization?

Also, I second the advice you were given to use the word "fraternity" over "frat." Some members are cool with frat while others aren't and find it offensive. (My husband hates "frat" and always has. ) You can't go wrong with "fraternity", so play it safe and good luck with your recruitment!

If that's the case, I can honestly say that it's the first chapter I've ever heard of that automatically bids all legacies.

Good luck.

Troll.

Unless the pledge in question turns out to be a real closet case...like Fred.

It may be an automatic bid, but guess what? Fraternities are not sororities. Some of them take great delight in "whittling down" the pledge class as the semester goes on. Just because you get a bid, doesn't mean you'll become a brother.

And for the love of all that's holy, stop saying frat. It makes you sound so trashy that not even Snooki would go out with you.

It doesnt mean I'm going to act cocky or anything, Ill still treat it the same way as if I wasn't a legacy.

Troll.

I don't see what was so wrong about my last post, I just said before what they told me, it might not be true, but I'd have a legitimate beef if they rejected me.

Actually, no you wouldn't.

This. There is no such thing as a right to a bid.

And if for some reason they are required to bid you because you are a legacy, nothing prevents them from dropping you the first opportunity they can. My chapter has actually had people bid, then dropped a week later. It sucked for them, but it showed that nothing is guaranteed.

Sorry, did not intend to imply that being a legacy would cause you to act cocky, and that certainly was not what my husband had in mind when he advised our son.

It's just that some people really have their hearts set on joining a legacy chapter, and think being a legacy makes a bid guaranteed. That simply is not always the case, and the shock and disappointment of not receiving a bid from one's legacy can be fierce. Also, someone wanting and expecting an automatic bid from their legacy may not check out other Greek orgs and end up without a chapter at all.

That is kind of what happened to my friend's son back in August. He wasn't invited to his legacy chapter's last event during formal recruitment. I don't know if he had invites to other houses, but he withdrew from recruitment and is presently a non-Greek. I think he's still having a great college experience, but I saw his Facebook status the night he got cut. He was pretty surprised and bummed at first.

Once again, best wishes in getting a bid.