Lots of recruitment questions for all you SEC schools sorority girls!
 

My daughter recently participated in fall recruitment at an SEC that I'll leave unnamed, and was very dissappointed when she was dropped 3rd round from a sorority to which was my legacy, and ended up quitting the process altogether. She rushed as a sophomore, has a very high GPA, and is very beautiful (I'm not just saying that because she is my daughter, she has been told that all her life). I alson did all I could for her, by submitting a legacy introduction form, and recommendation letter. I know being a legacy/having recommendations for a sorority doesn't guarantee a bid, especially at a school where recruitment is so competitive, but I can't help but wonder, what went wrong?
Also, she has signed up for continuous open bidding since she is still very interested in becoming a member of this sorority. Can anyone tell me how the COB process works? How many girls receive bids after Bid Day? Is it harder as a sophomore? Furthermore, is it a bad idea to contact the VP of recruitment for that chapter? Or hinting at leaving a large donation upon her graduation? I would never want to do anything to bring her negative attention! Thanks!

Concerned Mother

We have no way of knowing.
Depends on the school, but to give bids after bid day through COB a chapter must be below the campus Total - which is a number set campus by campus or not have met Quota.

Quote:

How many girls receive bids after Bid Day?

Depends wildly based on campus. And there's no way to know which chapters are doing COB because, again, varies wildly based on campus.
Typically? Yes. Do we know for 100% sure? No.
Ok, now you're just trolling right?

In the odd chance you're for real. Don't do it. That's a) an asshole move. And b) likely to get your daughter branded "the girl whose mom tried to buy her a bid."

And QFP in its entirety.

And this is another story where the girl got cut from the house she wanted so she dropped out. Sorry, no sympathy here. There is every possibility that the house she wanted is over total and the only houses that would invite her to COB are the ones she was too good for a week ago.

Some things worth pointing out:

At many SEC schools, rushing as a sophomore is a detriment. Some orgs simply don't plege upperclassmen or only a few, of those few only if they are a campus superstar loved by everyone in the chapter.

Along with that, did she spend her freshman year getting to know sorority women? Having folks in a chapter to pull for you is a big help.

No mention was made of her activities/resume during her freshman year. Was she active on campus, involved in community service, etc?

Finally, at many SEC schools there are more legacies going through Recruitment than quota. Therefore a lot of legacy moms and their daughters will be disappointed. I'm sorry that it was you & yours.

Both = Negative attention.

Judging from my God Daughter's recruitment at a competitive SEC school last year, every PNM at many of these schools is beautiful, accomplished and smart. That's just the basic stripped-down PNM model. Those traits don't really distinguish you from the other 1,000+ PNMs.

Your daughter chose to drop out. It's sad when your organization releases a girl that you love, but it happens frequently. What's even sadder is that your daughter chose not to explore other options and dropped out rather than give other sororities a second look. If as a legacy, she was released from formal recruitment, the chances of COBing with that same group are probably slim to nil.

^ Ditto. Dropping out because her choice chapter/legacy chapter released her is a bonehead move. You should have prepared her better for this possibility. Read up on your groups legacy policy, and odds are you'll find the words along the lines of "your legacy will receive special consideration, but no bid is guaranteed." If they are at or over total, then there's no COBing. You won't get any sympathy from anyone here because she dropped out on her own accord, which is a slap in the face to the groups that DID want her, the groups that did think she was smart, beautiful and could be a perfect fit for them. She didn't even go through preference! A sad situation and a hard lesson learned, but no sympathy.

And no, don't dare contact your group and ask/offer stuff like that.

I know that at several SEC schools some groups got many quota additions which made them significantly larger than other traditionally strong sororities. These campuses are considering using average chapter size rather than their previous total numbers...which may open up COB spots in several chapters not known to take new members outside of formal recruitment.

Not trying to give you false hope, but your daughter should quietly let her friends in groups she may be interested in know that she is still wanting to join a sorority...believe me, COB for these groups will not be common knowledge or publisized on campus.

But, I also agree with the posters who feel that her best opportunity to join a sorority ended when she dropped out of recruitment.

I'm sorry recruitment didn't work out for your daughter. Did you prepare your daughter by taking a tour of the house or calling the recruitment advisor for your legacy house? Are you familiar with RFM and was your daughter prepared for large releases even at her legacy chapter.

I have found that most women my age who are not involved in their sorority have no idea how much recruitment has changed and how competitive it is. I judge this by the amount of calls and e-mails I receive after recruitment is over. Every accomplished 18 year old girl is now attending college and many of them go through recruitment. The majority of them that walk through the door are beautiful, have good grades, loads of activities and leadership.

I don't know what happened to your daughter in the process. What I do know is that I would have advised her to stick it out through preference because there is no going back. There has been more then one PNM who has completely changed their mind on their favorite chapter after going all the way through recruitment. I wish your daughter luck with COB I hope that works out for her.

Have you read the other threads on this forum? Really, your post is about the tenth just like it this year. Do a search.

Speaking as an advisor, I would say please dont do that. Many chapters are not permitted to speak with alumnae/parents concerning such matters and you will likely not even get a response. It may be forwarded to advisors or district/regional advisors and IF you do get a response it may be from one of them and not the chapter. Further, membership selection is private. They will not tell you "what went wrong." They may confirm or deny that your daughter was released or she chose to decline an invitation to return to the chapter, but that will vary org. to org.

I know how heartbreaking it is to be dropped by your legacy sorority. I was dropped by my legacy group just before prefs, and I'd been confident that I was going to be my mother's sister. Didn't happen, but I didn't drop out of rush because I still had invites from three awesome groups for pref night.

Only negative attention will come from either of those actions. Try both and I'd be willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that every chapter in panhellenic will have heard about how her mommy is trying to push/buy DD's way into ABC sorority. At that point, she could put any thought of being in a sorority on that campus away for good.

Seriously, if you're not a troll, and being in the legacy sorority is so important to both of you, I don't know why you didn't enroll DD in a school where rush isn't so competitive that has a chapter of your sorority, get initiated, and then transfer to the SEC school of choice. (Not that I condone this by any means!) If you're willing to try to bribe her way in, taking a campus detour shouldn't be too abhorrent to you.

Best thing for you to do now is to step away and let her handle it for herself. Listen to her and support her if she's sad, but you can't fix this for her. She is now a young adult. She will have worse things in life happen to her than this, so it's good that she learn how to handle disappointment.

I know that you're being sarcastic, but on the off chance that the OP is totally serious, it would be pointless for her to do this as all the SEC chapters have pretty much gotten hep to it and don't automatically accept transfers.

Yeah, I know that...;)

But I also have personal experience with this kind of mother (not mine), but several friends have either had this type of mother and/or now ARE this type of mother.

Maybe just a bullhorn and a hostage negotiator would work: "Madam, please step away from the checkbook!" :D

(You know, unless she wants to write me a check, then she can PM me for mailing info.)

For most sororities, legacies are invited to first invitational round and, for many, if the legacy is invited to pref and she puts that sorority first, she will receive a bid. So the cut, if it comes, has to be after the first invitational and before pref. Also, several sororites, founded in the SEC area, have more legacies than openings and, since they leave some openings for non-legacies, legacies will be cut. Few girls are deliberately cut other than for grades and that usually happens after first round (or second if a legacy). Most remain on a list but are not near enough to the top to fit into the quota for the next party or bid.

The main problem here is that it sounds like your daughter went through recruitment with blinders on, set on pledging her legacy chapter. I wonder, does she want to be Greek, or is she only interested in her legacy chapter? I won't make assumptions about her thinking she was too good for certain chapters, though that is possible, but it just sounds like she was so set on one chapter, and that is a recipe for disaster at ANY school.
Sophomore status: Often a disadvantage. Alabama has a separate upperclass quota, but not all chapters choose to take upperclass members.
Very high GPA: Not sure how sophomore's GPAs are compared to freshman GPAs at this school--for example, a 3.5 in college is an excellent GPA, but 3.5 out of high school is just eh. If there is no separation in GPAs, her "very high GPA" might not have actually given her an advantage. (I am of the opinion that HS and college GPAs need to be evaulated separately, but from what I gather, it is not always the case.)
Very beautiful: so is everyone else...
Rec: Helpful, but more or less a foot in the door. Won't mean much if a PNM doesn't have other things the chapter is looking for. Remember, recs are for informational purposes.
Legacy status: In the SEC, there are tons of legacies going through. At some schools, some chapters could fill entire pledge classes with legacies and still have to cut some based on quota. It really doesn't mean much, and you can hope that your sorority followed its legacy policy. Does "dropped 3rd round" mean before or after 3rd round? I can't speak for every sorority, but generally if a chapter is going to cut a legacy, they like to do it before the 3rd round so the PNM has time to focus on her realistic options.

What we don't know is what kind of campus involvement she had in her first year, how many friends she had in this chapter, and most importantly, how her conversations went during recruitment. Also, why did she not go through as a freshman? Being a legacy at an SEC school, she is no stranger to Greek life. Why did she wait? Or did she go through as a freshman?
COB is only for sororities who have vacancies in total (the maximum chapter size as determined by the Campus Panhellenic). If a chapter is above total, they can not take any more members until next formal recruitment (or next semester, if they have enough women graduate in December to put them under total). If your daughter goes to Auburn or Alabama, all chapters made quota (their equal slice of the "pie" or PNM pool). That doesn't mean all chapters will be at or above total, but it is less likely there will be vacancies. It is entirely possible that NO chapters will be participating in COB. As for being a sophomore with COB, it is no more of a help or hinderance than it is with formal recruitment.

Different chapters conduct COB differently. Some will have open parties for any interested women. Some will invite women registered with Panhellenic. Some will quietly ask friends of members to join.
Yes, and yes. Those are both bad ideas that would bring her negative attention. Even if it worked, do you really think that your daughter would want to be known as the legacy whose mom paid for her bid? What kind of sisterhood is that?

I'm sorry it didn't work out for your daughter. She needs to evaluate if she wants to be Greek or if she just wants to be in her legacy chapter. Is her legacy chapter a "popular" one? You know, one that a lot of PNMs seem to want? It's possible that she has no chance of joining her legacy chapter but still may have the opportunity to be Greek.