Senusret I presents hilarious status updates
 

These are mostly mine, but please share your own. (I am doing this with an assist from the new facebook feature which lets you see your status updates through history)



poor, poor dumb kids on Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. That ain't Captain Walker, that's the man from Lethal Weapon!!!

This is one from a case I'm taking to trial today:

"I am hungover and grandparents are making me get up and take [my son] to the zoo....UGH"

And to make it appropriately white trash, this did appear on Myspace--recently.

It randomly pops up on the far-right column. I don't think everyone has that feature yet. It looks like they've also started adding friends' old statuses to the list.

95% of my old statuses are ridiculous. I always read them when I need a chuckle.

It usually tells you your status on that day in a different year. Mine keeps showing me 2009, which was my self declared "summer of fun" before I started grad school. It's killing me to remember how fun that summer was and how un-fun this summer has been.

Mine is showing 2009 from when I ran into Arsenio Hall at dinner. Not hilarious but he was hot.

wise to talk about that on a public board? **slides off greekchat, resumes nose in book in law library**

"I'm bAcK fRiENdS & foEs & ToMoRrOwS mY bIRTHdAy! : )"

I just don't understand a 24yr old woman using......caps like that.

FTFY.

I wish I could adequately summarize how hilarious the posts in response to my status about Nick Ashford's death are.

Me: WTF! Nick Ashford died!

Ivory: Who

Dove: ‎^wow...*feeling my age*

Ivory: Im Jamaican have mercy!!!!

Dove: so am I...and I know who he is...

Me: Where were you raised, Dove?

Ivory: Ummmm i was raised by feral jamaican wolves lol

Dove: In Miami...in a Jamaican neighborhood. I think it's an age thing...


[a few posts later]

Ivory: Wait when did Miami become jamaica? I got a B in Geography...that explains it...yeeeah thats the answer

Dove: @Ivory ...clearly you've never been to parts of Miami...that feels JUST like JA...and my parents are Jamaican, so there.

Ivory: A dildo feels like a penis but it aint...just sayin

me: Jamaican Feral Wolves = 1; Miami dba Jamaica = 0

RIP Nick Ashford of Ashford and Simpson - 'solid as a rock' is one of the best and no other man of color will ever rock a mullet and a bro-stache as well as you did and for so long.

c/o my friend

Case in point:

Dear Cotton -

After all that my people have done for you throughout the years, I pray that you'll find it in your heart not to split my pants any further in the frank-and-beans region. Please hold it together for the next 3.5 hours.

Regards,
k_s

My status: Yo, Jay-Z is a fucking genius. I don't use that lightly. It's like Steven Hawking, me, Jay-Z, and Beethoven.


Selected responses:

SumDumGuy: Frat, obviously you never saw his interview on The Daily Show. You would know you just used genius lightly.

Me: Don't assume. And no, I didn't use it lightly. :-)

SumDumGuy: Watch the interview. Derrick Rose post-game does more intelligent interviews.

Me: Because I disagree with you means that I haven't seen the interview?

Ivory [yes, from above!]: When did your status messages become a hotbed for unsolicited advice on definitions?*grabs popcorn and zima---ready to see how this one plays out*

SumDumGuy: I didn't think I was giving "unsolicited advice," just disagreeing. It was a public status update so I thought that meant it was free game. I still put to you that you used 'genius' lightly. I don't know a lot of geniuses who struggle that much with basic grammar in conversations, but if you see something in him I don't then what can I say? I will agree though that he's very smart, despite his challenges with grammar.

Me: Actually, what you did was:

1) Assume that I never saw his interview on the Daily Show.

2) Tell me to watch an interview (that I had seen) which was irrelevant to my overall point.

You are defining genius based on your standard of his ability to convey himself in an interview. I am defining genius based on his talent as an artist.

If I even accept that he is a bad communicator (which he is not) there are plenty of genius scientists and artists who communicate much worse.

Now kindly pick up your face from the floor. :-)

Ivory: Yes! *fist pump* I feel like im watching a made for tv movie.

Ki-Ki: ‎*putting Rashid in the time out corner for the next hour*

DynoDiva: *breaks Rashid out of time out*

DynoDiva: and btw, u shouldnt have to explain ur status like that. i got it. know why? cause i drink Zimas. lmao

SumDumGuy: Whatever I assumed, I'm not knocking the guy for being a poor communicator. I'm knocking him for lacking command of basic grammar rules that I would assume most ingenious 7-year olds would have locked down tight. Again, I won't deny that he's smart. But let's be serious: he's no Stephen Hawking or John Nash. I think you bring up an interesting question though: what exactly is your standard of measurement for geniuses? I won't lie, it seems low. What exactly has Jigga done that is so ingenious? Sold a couple hundred million records? That's cool, but by that token Mariah Carey should have been inducted into Mensah years ago. Had (marginally) successful business ventures outside of music? There are thousands of people who blow Jay-Z out of the water when you consider how much return they get on their investment. Are they geniuses too? Of course, and I'm sure you'll make this very clear in your response, you don't have to justify that standard of measurement to me (especially) or anyone else. But when you say that your poster-boy for "genius" is Jigga, I get a little excited that I must be a genius too, and I'm pretty sure that I'm not.

DynoDiva: ^baby, stop. just...stop. i agree with you though...you are no genius.

Me: FATALITY

Ivory: OMG I didnt realize he wrote a whole book of the bible to explain himself...I recommend that you listen to Kenny Rogers' song The Gambler and then chase it with JayZ's On To The Next One...both convey messages that most of the commenters on this thread want you to walk away with

I really like Ivory!

I know right? She posted on GC briefly back in 05 or 06 but got bored with it.

Heee! I saw when you posted the status yesterday, but had no idea folks were going all Roland Martin in your comments. Bless his heart. Doesn't he know people can be a genius in one area and lick windows in 99 others?

It took me a while to realize that one year ago today was election day in DC:



Rihanna's last name is Fenty. CONSPIRACY!!!!! CY! CY! CY! eh. eh. eh.



LOL he said "The results are taking a forever infinite amount of time." Really, they teach you that in journalism school?

Someone on my friends' list has Four Square check ins as included in their status updates. I couldn't stop laughing when they checked in to the Bonneville County Jail. I find it funny that it is a Four Square location but hey, maybe people might see it on facebook and bail you out, or not.

One of my FB friends is married to a Church Of God - Apostolic minister. She was talking about how awesome he is in her status and said "You just don't know how much this man loves his sheep!" Now of course I know what she means, Jesus loving his flock and all that, but dang. Most women could not write that sort of thing about their husband without getting :eek: .

lollllllll

College Friend: "Syracuse leaving the Big East makes one thing certain. There is no real reason for Hoyas to think about you people again."

His Friend: "Wow...who will Hoyas fans hate now?"

College Friend: "Maybe a school that is our equal."

:D

LOL
I work at a psychiatric hospital. There have been 20-something check-ins there. :confused: I pray those are employees "checking in" at work instead of patients right before they hand over their phones during the admission search.