University of Texas daughter's *actual* recruitment '11
 

Now that we've talked all about food, here's the actual Rush thread! It will be a not-quite-live recruitment thread since everyone already knows my daughter is a sophomore and in a spirit group. So for now at least, it’ll be about a day behind.

“Zoe” had a great first day! Despite the fact that she’s a sophomore and can’t help but know a little about each sorority, she really kept an open mind and was able to look at each group with fresh eyes and without any bias based on rumors or reps she’s heard about each chapter. All in all, she says that conversation went well and there were no awkward moments or lapses in conversation all day. She said she used literally EVERYTHING in her well-stocked rush kit except for safety pins! She was surprised how many girls didn’t bring things like band-aids, compacts, etc., and the thing she shared the most were the throat drops; I guess not many people brought those either. The Frosty Towels made a huge difference, so thanks, SWTXBelle, for that suggestion! I also included Evian spray (but no mini-fan) and she says she didn’t get sweaty at all – and she has hair all the way down her back.

She’ll be getting her Round 2 (Philanthropy) invites around the time I post this, but I won’t hear from her until parties are over tonight. She has a max of 10 invites, but the parties are divided up between tonight and tomorrow. When FR started, there were a record 1098 PNMs. My code is in no particular order, but I will leave them ordered the same way for each round so it’s easier to keep track.

Fajitas:They’re not participating in FR, but I didn’t want to leave fajitas (the food!) out! But as far as the current process, they’re out…
Iced tea:Zoe talked to a couple of really nice girls. This is a big house (as in number of girls, not necessarily the house itself), and the girls she talked to were really cute and personable. No recs for this house.
BBQ brisket:Zoe didn’t like this house, though its reputation is waaay up there. They clearly didn’t care about talking to girls; their minds were clearly made up regarding their first-round cuts.
Chicken-fried steak:Though Zoe was paired with a cute girl who was also very athletic, like Zoe, she found her to be really superficial. Again, this is a ‘top’ house, but it just wasn’t a fit for Zoe.
Blue Bell ice cream:Zoe talked to a couple of girls and really, really liked it here. She didn’t go into detail beyond saying she had good conversations and felt very comfortable.
Fried okra:Loooooooved them. She has several friends in this house and met someone new tonight.
Shiner beer:Zoe did not like Shiner. The conversation was awkward and, unfortunately, one of the girls who rushed her had really, really bad breath – so bad it was distracting.
Breakfast taco:Another house with a great reputation but not somewhere that Zoe felt comfortable.
Pecos cantaloupe:Really liked this house. She has a lot of mutual friends with the girls here and knows some girls in the chapter. So far not in her top 5, but she would be happy to go back again and learn more.
Fried catfish:Zoe says the Fried Catfish girls were “cute, nice and laid-back,” and she really liked this house. She has a couple of friends in here as well, though she didn’t see them today.
Texas sheet cake:Loved them. She spent a lot of time with these girls during Roundup in the spring and has a couple of close friends in here. Along with Fried okra, Texas sheet cake is a fave.
Fletcher's corn dog:Was surprised at how much she liked this house. She says the girls were cute but maybe a little overly made-up, but she thought they were really nice and easy to talk to. Unfortunately, we think her rec letter for this house didn’t come through, though we aren’t completely sure.
Frito pie:Zoe described the Frito pie girls as “cute and casual,” which is a lot like Zoe herself. She enjoyed her conversation here and is hoping to go back.
Dr. Pepper:Zoe doesn’t know anyone here but has mutual friends with a lot of the girls in this chapter. She says that one of the girls she talked to seemed a little fake, but in general they were cute and nice.

They had to rank 10 in the number-1 spot and list which 3 they liked the least, in order. Her least-liked was Shiner beer; second least-liked was Breakfast tacos; third least-liked was Chicken-fried steak. She really liked almost all of the other houses, but she really, really wants to get invites back from Fried okra, Texas sheet cake and Fletcher's corn dog, but thinks that Fletcher’s will probably be a no-go if she doesn’t have a rec. As of right now, though, she feels like there are nine or ten houses where she could be really happy. Texas really does have an amazing roster of GLOs, and Zoe knows this.

Although I don't know much about Texas food...I wish your daughter the best time ever!

i am starving now!!

Good luck to Zoe!

Zoe got 7 invites out of a possible 10, and ALL are houses that she would be thrilled to be a part of! In fact, if bids were determined by putting all her current groups in a hat and pulling one out, she'd be fine with it... I'll update after the Philanthropy Round, which is tonight and tomorrow. She is psyched!

hooray for zoe!!

Wary - Congratulations on your daughter's invites back to Philanthropy Round. As a word of advice, I suggest that you edit your post and delete/edit any comment that you would not want said about your own chapter. Good luck to Zoe!

qfp

Go fried okra! :)

Can't wait to read more - good luck to your daughter (and to you too....it's not easy being in your shoes, either!).

i made texas sheet cake for my husband's birthday yesterday. yum yum!

I'm waiting til Bid Day to update. Today is Skits, tomorrow Prefs. All I will say now is that her favorites are still in, and she's very excited! So far, so good.

what wonderful news!! good luck to zoe!

Hoping the best for her!

Hoping Zoe's pref is great tonight and rooting for Frito Pie and Dr Pepper off the list...my personal favorites!

I'm a displaced Texan and really craving fried okra right now. But I've got to root for Texas sheet cake because there's a restaurant chain here in Phoenix called Zoe's Kitchen that makes the BEST Texas sheet cake outside of Texas. Good luck!!

Is that equivalent? It's pretty good.

Bid Day… with a twist!

So, I’ll start with Philanthropy and catch up to Bid Day.

Iced tea: Zoe liked the girls she talked to and thinks the philanthropy is great. Again, like, not love.
BBQ brisket: Zoe was surprised at how much she liked her timewith brisket. She really connected with the two girls who rushed her.
Blue Bell ice cream: She loved Blue Bell, and their philanthropy was her favorite.
Fried okra: This house remained the place where she felt most comfortable, and it remained her favorite.
Breakfast taco: Zoe was surprised to have been asked back to Breakfast taco. She accidentally went to the wrong house first and so wassweaty and nervous when she got there. It didn’t get better from there – just uncomfortable and without a connection.
Fried catfish: Zoe’s second-favorite, Fried catfish was a fun time with a good craft.
Dr. Pepper: Great time here as well.

For Skit Day, Zoe was a little worried after only getting 2 invites back. But she was happy that they were to her 2 favorite houses, Fried okra and Fried catfish… (The more fried, the better, right?)

Fried okra was first. It was the first time throughout the process, except maybe for Breakfast taco the day before, where she thought things didn’t go well. She just felt a disconnect. Fried catfish, though, was awesome, and for the first time it moved solidly into the lead.

Then came the morning of Pref Night…. And the dreaded phone call. Zoe found out that she had been released from recruitment.

Of course, she was devastated. Anyone who says that Rush is no big deal is either lying or doing it wrong, because there’s no way not to get caught up in it, and there’s no way not to take it as a judgment of you – your looks/personality/poise/accomplishments, etc. When you put yourself up to be evaluated like this and it doesn’t work out, it hurts.

She was inconsolable for about two hours. I talked to her on the phone, then her bf came over and he and her roommate made fried pickles (fortunately not in my code!) and margaritas… Yes, at 11 in the morning.

When I called her back, she sounded like a different person. No, she wasn’t completely over it, but she was already making plans for the fall and for the money she won’t have to spend on dues. She had decided to go to Toronto next month to visit her best friend who had moved away the day after hs graduation and whom she hasn’t seen since. She was also able to join a professional society and another philanthropic group that she wouldn’t have had time for. She went and got her books for fall and then went to a theme party at a frat house… after all, they need some girls to show up since everyone is all wrapped up in rush!

I was more proud of her yesterday than I had been throughout the entire process because of how resilient she was and how she handled her disappointment and turned it around into something positive. Although being a sophomore has its drawbacks – and probably played a huge part in her release from the process – it worked for her when it came to moving on. She already had a complete life before Rush and she still did afterwards. I think it is much worse for freshmen who come to campus with no real connection there and few friends yet. If they are released, many of them must feel very lost.

Having said that, I offer this advice: If you are considering going through recruitment, do it as a freshman if at all possible. Zoe found out before Skit Round that two of her favorite houses – Texas sheet cake and Frito pie – had dropped her because they have a different sophomore grade requirement than that for freshmen. Now, Zoe was Salutatorian in her hs class of 775 and graduated with a 4.75, and in her first year at Texas, she earned a 3.4 – not too bad. However, these two groups (and maybe others, idk), require rushing sophs to have a 3.5 instead of a 3.0 like freshmen, and that is non-negotiable. Now, if she could go back and somehow worked harder last year to get that extra .1, would she do it? No. She stressed about grades in hs and doesn’t want to do that in college. Again, it’s a POV that comes with being a little older.

So, that’s it for Zoe’s attempt at Greek life and for my brief foray on GC. As many of you know, it was not a great experience. However, it was worth it because I connected with four women with whom I plan to stay in touch and who have been a great support system. Plus, we have found that we have more to talk about than sororities and Rush, which is what I hope for all of the girls going through recruitment, whether they end up pledging or not.

Finally, for the not-so-nice girls on here: Please remember that while you are anonymous, you are representing sorority girls on this site. Why feed into the negative stereotypes? I have raised my kids (I hope) to believe that it is always better to be nice than not if you have the choice.

I think there are plenty of nice girls on here, but many are tired of those who come on here (and their monthers) who feel they have been slighted by the system. We hear it every year from the same campuses. As you can see, we have a plethora of perps on this board and many of us have BS-detectors attached to our fingers as we type.

wary, i am so sorry that rush did not work out for your daughter, but a huge KUDOS to her for the gracious way in which she dealt with her disappointment.

Also, thank you for the advice you sent for future texas pnms. any time any of us can share some insight into the recruitment process, i have hope that it can help someone else.

Benzgirl: I do not know the permutations of this recruitment. But what I do know, and didn't know at the time, was part of a thread, now deleted regarding Wary. Something...something...Translations. Someone named Wrangler said (and you only get the gist of the conversation because all but one of her posts were deleted) that there was a group of people who "knew" someone on GC had falsified their application. When I the history person that I am, said that this was McCarthyism at its best, said name names AND proof there was a snide link to Wary. No proof was EVER presented. All that was done was a link to something (I checked later) to something innocuous that Wary said.

Perhaps prophetically I said that someone had posted thing(s), including another now banned poster, against this poster that some houses could simply say this is too hot to handle and drop an innocent. I suspect this happened here.

There are LOVELY girls (and their moms) here. Many come here for information, gather it, move on or become regular posters. There are perps here, as there are on any board. My personal favorite was the girl who went to the docks to pick the oysters for her pearl necklace. There are times when some (or many) of us are put off by a poster Be it because of attitude or unrealistic expectations some of us don't "like" someone. But what I saw here (in two different threads that I saw) was different and possibly cruel to the poster's daughter. And that is just offensive.

I wish Wary's daughter a wonderful time in college. I hope she has the time of her life. And if, for whatever reason, there was a smear campaign against a pnm for no reason other than someone doesn't like an attitude of a parent: Karma is a bit**.

Thanks for sharing the conclusion of your daughter's experience and it sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders. As a mom of a girl from another one of those ubber competitive mega high schools I applaud what she accomplished there and have no doubt she will do well in her future. Hook em!

Wary, I am so sorry for you and your daughter. Being released, truly released as your story goes has to be an awful feeling. I am glad that your daughter has a great attitude and enjoys college. It was one of the best times in my life and I wish nothing but the best for your girl.

ellebud, you might want to take a look at this thread. You might also want to know that the predecessor thread (start with posts here, but many posts have now been deleted) was one in which Wary was describing her daughter's experience with UT Spirit Club recruitment, despite being advised not to do this until after UT recruitment was over

The same UT GCer who advised Wary to hold off on the Spririt Club recruitment story warned Wary again that she should be careful, because people at UT might be able to identify Zoe from what was said, but Wary went right ahead and ignored the advice, passing along disaparaging reputations of some UT (unidentified) sororities in the process. Meanwhile, the GCer who had given the warning said there was indeed information Wary had shared that gave Texas insiders clues as to who Zoe might be, but to no avail. And things got heated.

I'm really sorry that Zoe's recruitment didn't work out for her, and I have no idea whether Wary's threads/posts had anything to do with that or not. But I can understand how some people might feel less sympathy, for Wary at least, when she ignored the advice she was given and went ahead, putting her daughter's stuff out there. And I think that's the part of the mom-phenomenon that lots of people just don't get.

I did read the thread. I don't get your point. My point was that people threatened the poster and her daughter indirectly by saying that they were liars. They engaged in the best of McCarthyism. If someone says something indiscreet like, "oh, my daughter HATED the Abba Zabbas because they had a tacky skit and the third girl from the left!" I chalk it up to not filtering. IF it was my daughter who was the third girl I might be hurt (I wouldn't) but I wouldn't go after the poster. Things don't get "heated" when you go after someone because you don't like their unfiltered remarks about a sorority, organization...this got dirty.

Bad manners are just that. There is no justification to go after someone's kid by insinuation of lying, not naming names but saying just enough to identify a pmn. As I said in translation thread...The posters were playing with fire. They hurt someone because they could, from afar, and as chicken**** as you can get.

And I would add to those of you who might want to repeat this scenario: I don't know Wary, but she is a class act. Nothing on the internet is untraceable. And since, as a non public figure, she could have gone after some of the posters (and their houses if they are current actives) legally (slander and libel)...and didn't...you might run into someone who might not be so kind to the posters (Wranger.Darlin and Regina George) the next time.

In looking at the links in MysticCat's 1:59 post, I noticed that the poster Texas Darling is banned. Is it because of this post?

All of her other posts are reasonable and informative, and her disapproval of the "dismal" comment was strongly worded but in the spirit of Panhellenism. I suspect that she was accidentally swept up in the banning of Wrangler.Darlin.

No, the posts that were horrible had to do with I or we know something about someone who is going through recruitment at Texas who are liars! (notice the posts no longer exist). They are claiming blah blah....Then there was a link to something innocuous that Wary said, insinuating but not saying that she was a liar. Then she concluded another (now deleted post) with a threat of "we took care of it."

The above posted quote is NOT what I am referring to...the inflammatory posts have been deleted. But not before they did damage.

Wary...you know hugs go all around. I am saddened to see women, who could possibly share letters with me, go on a death attack of an innocent person. This was simply a campaign of one upsmanship. Like Ellebud said...Karma...the wonderful circular force it is, has a path, and we know who is in it. It is un-Panhellenic as you can get. Please let Zoe know we are thinking of her.

I couldn't have said it better!! You and Zoe have handled this with class. UT is a wonderful campus that offers it's students many opportunities to get involved. I know it is cliche..but sometimes things happen for a reason, even if we don't always understand why..
Zoe will continue to sparkle and shine with whatever she chooses to do!

Let it be noted that in no way did I accuse the OP of anything; in fact, to this point I had never posted on Wary's thread. I was simply pointing out what we hear year after year. While every mother, including Wary, does not want to see her daughter in any kind of pain, we do get heli-moms who come here to rant about the system and validate that it is ok to call Panhellenic, or bitch at a sorority's national for issues over which nobody has control.

UT seems to be a point of contention this year. In years past it was typically Bama or Auburn. We have had everything on here this year including advice from a fraternity newbie who has no idea what recruitment is about. I haven't posted much on those columns but sometimes it is just plain irritating. Typically, I read and move on. Note, we were even bashed by one PNM who was mad that over 100 views had been made on her thread and nobody had commented!

UT, UA, Auburn and Ole Miss threads are all over the board, and even though you point them directly with the link (KSU Violet can find any thread ever created), many repeatedly think their case is unique.

I am truly sorry that the OP's daughter did not find a home, and she does realize the deck was stacked against her by being a sophomore. UT has wonderful chapters; my cousin's daughter is currently a Texas Kappa. Unfortunately, there are not enough spaces for everyone, but fortunately there are many amazing opportunities in Austin.

Benzgirl: I know that you were not part of the campaign. I was reply to what you said right above. I'm sorry if you thought that I thought you were one of the the people who posted in a vile way.

I fixed your post. A lot of women would epic fail if they rushed at their schools as freshmen (at a school where they don't need to).

Please don't make blanket statements. People who tell you that (like me) have probably done it previously and realized they were wrong. It's not piling on, it's constructive criticism.

what you perceived as a warning, i interpreted as a threat.

I don't think that was a threat. I've said pretty much the same thing many times (i.e. there are a ton of PA people on here so watch your step) - do you think those were threats too?

http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e1...cornholio1.jpg

if i do, i will let you know.

My point was that people advised her (initially without rudeness or flaming) that it was in her daughter's best interest that she not post the Spirit Clubs recruitment story until after NPC recruitment so that there would be no chance of anything affecting daughter's recruitment. For the most part, the rudeness came after Wary ignored this advice and was rude herself.

I get that, and I can understand in some ways why, but in context I just don't think it's accurate -- not when the "warning/threat" started out: "For her sake, please do it only after she goes through sorority recruitment." and "It will make her daughter easily identifiable during recruitment and that isn't a smart thing to do."

Wary- I am sorry that your daughter's recruitment did not end up with bid. I admire the way she has picked herself up and moved on so quickly! I

Note: a warning is...if you wear a skirt that is too short you may be perceived in the wrong way.

A threat is: We know who you are. We have alerted people in power and they are taking care of it.

People can "advise" others of many things. Whether the advice is taken does and should not lead to abusive behavior. You can ignore the thread(s) and the person. You can get popcorn and watch. But to say that amorphous people are out that who know and we are turning her in.........no, its a threat....libel.....slander. It would be cya time.

Yowza, you go away for a while and all hell breaks loose!! Wary, good to hear your daughter is doing well. UT is a blast and good for her that she is involved and plugged in to the campus, whether in Greek life or not.

The only posts I saw were the "this could harm your chances" variety. If there were posts like you describe, I readily admit that I didn't see them and readily agree they are way out of line.

Meanwhile, clean out your PM box a little please. ;)