can you wear black?
 

My daughter and I are at odds over some of her choices for rush outfits, especially her perf night choice. She has selected a black/charcoal gray dress. Her older sister (a Phi Mu) told her that most houses wear black dresses for perf and she'd get "lost in the crowd" and wearing a color would help her stand out. Any thoughts/help on this? thanks.

I've heard this before, don't know how true it is though. From my side of recruitment, in my chapter, we really did not care if a girl wore black (even though we all did during pref), but other chapters/campuses may consider girls in black "lost in the crowd". If her sister is on the same campus as her, I would heed her advice.

I would say heed the advice of those on campus and maybe look to see if her school has a website/facebook fan page with a 'what to wear' section. That could give you a hint. The positives of black are that it is a neutral, it is easy to find, and it is not any sorority's "color", so it can't be misconstrued that your daughter wants that chapter based on the color dress she is wearing.

Though my .02 (completely anecdotal, of course) is that for my campus and chapter, I have no idea what color dresses the women I preffed were. First of all, I was super jittery with nerves because it was my first time recruiting people, second, I was trying to remember as much as I could about each girl so as to not repeat topics and have a more in depth conversation, and third, it is dim in our room for pref night for the ceremony, so it would have been a hard call anyway. So basically, the dress, at that point (and for me, as I can only speak for myself) did not matter. I'd imagine all the women I preffed were indeed wearing one, but I personally had a lot else on my mind that night. :D

Wearing a color can help you stand out, BUT if she's going to be hideously uncomfortable in color she'll stand out in the wrong way.

See if she can find something in maybe a deep plum or navy (i.e. does a lot of the nice things black does for you without actually being black). She might need to get out of the junior department for that.

the limited has some gorgeous dresses right now and I know today there was a sale. no affiliation with limited, but for me I've had a lot of success finding clothes appropriate for recruitment there.

Thanks, this has been very helpful. My daughter is not on the same campus as her sister and no legacy there:(. If I can't steer her from the black dress maybe some bright accessories??? Also.... should the fabrics be more "toned down?" she has a lot of satin (homecoming dresses) are those appropriate? Most are not sexy or over done.

Bright accessories or distinctive jewelry would definitely be a plus. As for the satin, there are all kinds of satin - from kinda flashy to very understated. I would find a poster who goes/went to the school to ask that one.

I like the bright accessories idea. Beautiful way to stand out (i love wearing fun things in my hair!)

It's ok to wear black, but wearing a different color might help her stand out more.

When I was a rho chi (back when we were called rho chis) we were asked to dress up on pref night, but we were expressly forbidden to wear solid black or solid white (one chapter wore white, the others wore black). I wore a black top and a black-and-white print skirt. Something like that might work ...

The charcoal grey dress might work if she added some color with a scarf or something.

I would stay away from satin - even if it's a more "toned down" version, it's just so easy to look over-done. Plus, it's a pretty hot fabric (I've never worn a satin dress that I didn't feel like I was going to die in) and houses/meeting rooms during pref can get really hot.

If she wants to wear the charcoal/black (I love charcoal in place of black), she should go the distinctive jewelry route, if she can. Nothing too over-the-top but bright colors would be great. Of course, a poster/member from the school she's going to can give better advice, or check the college Greek website to see if there are guidelines.

It depends on the campus. At some schools, the few pnms who don't wear black stick out and can feel awkward because of it.

Kappa Alpha Theta?

My sister wore a cheetah print dress for her pref. She definitely stood out, I'm sure! :p For pref this year, active sisters in her chapter are to wear navy blue dresses with nude color heels.

Remember the black and gold, dear...

:D and a flick of the kite tail in your direction, too, appreciatively!

Get the fuck out of my office, that's exactly what I'm wearing right now.

I'm not sure if cheetah print is office appropriate... :D

LOL no I meant the navy dress with nude heels. If anyone in her chapter is still looking (or do they all wear the same dress?) - I got mine at Ann Taylor a few weeks ago, and it's a wrap dress (a well-done wrap dress in a neutral color that fits well is always office appropriate).

agzg, are you channeling ellebud now? :D

You have become my new source for signature inspirations. In the past 24 hours you've had a couple of GREAT ones.

aside: I'm done with my smileys for the week (thetygerlily put me on a 12 step program to get over my fear of smileys). And now that this thread is off on a dirt road...

lol, I knew what you meant, just had to give you shit. :D My sister got her dress from Nordstrom on the clearance rack for $30. It has an empire waist, is short, above the waist is a wrap style (almost twisted), but below the waist is flowing. I'll have to see if I can find it online. They are allowed to wear any style, just has to meet the dress code (goes for all rounds). I'll have to post what she's wearing for each round.

LOL I guess so. I always knew I was destined for interwebs fame.

The reason why I've been thinking a lot about what is or is not office-appropriate lately is because I've built a pretty good (if small, because quality ain't cheap) work wardrobe, with lots of cute blouses, sweaters, dresses, and well-fitting pants, and I'm completely baffled at how lax with the dress code folks are in my office.

Like, it specifically says "no flip flops" but I often hear the tell-tale "smack, smack, smack" of someone wandering past. Also, when did leggings become office-appropriate stand-ins for pants? Why is no one addressing this? Why do I have to see your cleavage and worry if you're going to fall out of your shirt every day?

It also says you have to have some sort of sleeve on a blouse, even just a small cap sleeve, and there are folks wandering around here in glorified tank tops. Sure, some of my dresses are sleeveless, but this is why the fashion gods came up with cardigans!

I try not to judge based on what people are wearing, because when I started here I definitely had a sub-par wardrobe (nothing inappropriate, just cheaply made and/or ill-fitting because that's what I could afford at Marshalls), but really, some of these folks are pretty wealthy and I just don't get it. I know it's summer and hot so you might not want to wear a suit (and we're definitely not a business professional office), but how hard is it, even lacking funds, to throw on a polo and an office-appropriate khaki skirt?

Of course, it's mostly the women struggling with the dress code, but that's because they have more freedom with the dress code than men. It's not hard to mess up "no shorts, shirts must be collared unless it's Friday." I'm afraid if more people are breaking it and it's not addressed on an individual level, they're going to force us all to wear polos and slacks and my sartorial tastes will melt like an ice cream cone on a hundred degree day.

ETA: This is the dress I'm wearing, but of course my shoes are much more attractive than those clod-hoppers.

^^^ignoring the eyeroller, but loving the clip and am stealing it for a prezi I'm doing^^^

agzg...shoes: they really make or break the dress, don't they? I like those shoes but NOT with that dress which is totally adorable, good choice!

oh dear, I've done it again, another thread totally derailed. My bad (said in advance of Carnation coming in and smacking me).

Okay, I looked at The Limited. I just found a great dress in some amazing colors. It's on sale, too.

http://www.thelimited.com/detail/add...3#BVRRWidgetID

Love that in "wild eggplant"!

I knew as soon as I typed that that I was forgetting someone. Darn. Sorry Thetas! PNMs, wear grey then. :p

That dress is perfect, and what a steal!

What colour do you like it in? I like the light orange!

I'm a bright color gal and have far and away too much bright blue in my life, but BLUE! I think gem tones are pretty universally flattering too when a person can't make up their mind. You have to be so careful with neutrals. I'm fine in white but if it gets very beige GACK. And same with pastels. Some work great and some make me look like I have jaundice.

they are all pretty colors, but the orange is especially pretty.

I like the yellow-orange too, but holy cats, would it ever look ghastly on me.

That yellow-orange is just adorable, but only very limited range of skin tones would be able to pull that color off. I, unfortunately, do not fall under that range. But I'm in love with the light green and especially the silvermoon grey!