I could really use some advice!
 

I know that this kind of thread is pretty common and I'm sorry if it's a repeat, but I'm starting to get really nervous for rush next year. I'm going to be at an SEC school that is known for how competitive its greek life is, and being from a city where greek life is basically nonexistent, I have NO idea what to expect. I have so many questions and I was wondering if you lovely ladies could help!

1. My mom was president of her chapter in college, and I'm not sure if it would be better to have one of her sisters write my rec for that house because it might come off weird that my mom is writing my rec for me.

2. What kinds of clothes should I be looking for? I know the standards (white dress, black dress, heels to match), but rush where I live is a jeans and t-shirt kind of ordeal. I know that is TOTALLY not the case where I'm going.

3. Is being from out of state really going to impact my chances that much? Some of the threads I was reading earlier made it sound like girls from out of state are pretty much ignored.

Thank you so much for your help!:)

Your mom should DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY follow the proper channels to notify the chapter of your legacy status. That said, it will be beneficial to get a rec from one of her sisters (or multiples, not sure what school and I won't speak to it since I didn't go to an SEC school). Her resume, however, won't really matter (president, other offices she held) since she's writing to talk YOU up.

(Also not an SEC person) but your mom and her sisters probably have friends in other NPC sororities. Network with her to get recs to other organizations and contact your local Panhellenic.

The most competitive SEC recruitments are probably Alabama and Ole Miss. If you look at their pledge lists for the past few years, you'll see plenty of out of state students so don't worry about that. At Alabama it's almost 50/50.

Do not assume that you need a white dress. If it's Ole Miss, you definitely won't since their recruitment is after Labor Day. Check out the web sites for the school's Panhellenic and also the handbook they will give/mail you. It will have pictures of appropriate dress for each day of recruitment.

And do get a friend of your mother's to write your rec. Your moth can notify the chapter via whatever legacy route her GLO has set up.

And network, network, network for the other recs - teachers, counselors, employers, friends of your parents, folks from church, etc. And when you find someone in XYZ, ask if they know someone in the other groups you need.

Actually, a white dress is a must for just about all ritual ceremonies - easier to find one now than to scramble...

Get recs for each sorority - not just Mom's. With a few exceptions, SEC schools live and die by them. While it's possible to get into a sorority in the SEC without them, it's an easy way to separate the Girls from the Girl Scouts when there are 1000 lovely, smart, talented women going through the first round.

Now, in what is pure dumb luck - I went through at UGA back in the 90's with one rec to the house where I was a legacy (through my sister), and I still got into my favorite sorority. I'd say that makes me an exception to the rule. And while I can't say that's why I got cut pretty hard after round one, it surely didn't help.

What I'm saying is, get the recs.

And you know the rest - brush up on your conversation skills, do some fun things worth talking about over the summer, clean up your facebook, etc.

SEC Rush is brutal but it's a good experience. Don't get to caught up in tent talk, have fun, etc.

I have no idea why everyone says you have to have a white dress. We don't all know each other's rituals. I know for a fact what mine are - and you don't need a white dress for any of them. I've discussed this with some of my PH friends and most of them don't either.

I think the whole point with the white dress, is depending on which chapter (if she has a successful recruitment) she joins, it is easier to have a white dress handy instead of scrambling to purchase one quickly after recruitment.
White dresses are the rage right now, so finding one will be pretty easy, this might not be the case come late August/early September (or later) time frame.
Better to be safe than sorry.

To the OP-ditto to what everyone has said. Get rec's. I didn't go to an SEC school but I have read enough on this forum to know that rec's are important. Network (as a previous person suggested). Most definitely CLEAN up your facebook! Take down any pictures that are suggestive in any way, shape or form. I would also suggest, when it comes to facebook, do not just randomly "friend" people that you have absolutely no clue who they are.

Most importantly, keep an open mind during recruitment. You will hear tent talk, but you need to follow your heart and not what the other PNM's are saying. What is right for one person isn't necessarily right for another. What is more important looking "cool" or finding a house where you truly belong?

Maybe not. Some SEC schools, like Kentucky (IIRC), require PNMs to wear white dresses on Bid Day.

Thank you so much! This really helps, I'm so glad I found greekchat! (:

You went through prior to RFM, so it's like apples and oranges.

Buy a MODEST white dress (no too tight, no too short - if you get a strapless or spaghetti strap dress get a white cardigan as well) and leave the tags on it. Better safe than sorry. The worst thing that happens is you have to return a dress.

Ditto on the don't friend randoms - guys OR girls. Also, don't join or like any sorority-specific groups. If there's a "wayoutwest's school recruitment 2011" group that is OFFICIAL through the school's panhellenic, that one's fine, but better to just observe rather than participate.

If you're thinking of changing up your hair, do it now, so if it sucks it can grow back by rush time. Same if you're getting contacts or lasik or you're going to start wearing fake nails/getting fills. Give yourself time to get used to it.

My daughter is an active member at an SEC school and I have two California nieces. The California girls' style is quite different from our Southern style. I would make sure that your dresses are not too far above the knee and no super-short shorts. Think church appropriate. Good luck and have fun shopping!

It will look odd if your mother does NOT send in a recommendation for you, but an additional rec.(or recs.) from friends of your mom will be helpful.

I'm confused. Wouldn't the mother send in a legacy introduction form, and then a friend or two would send a rec? Or does the mother also send a rec? Or do some orgs not distinguish between the two?

Some orgs do things differently.

ZTA does not have a legacy intro. form., but if we did, I would have filled out a legacy form and a rec.,if they provided different info. about the pnm. The legacy forms I have seen from friends sororities ask different information than the recommendation form does.

Definitely. The mother fills out the legacy form, and can fill out a rec, too. It would be even better if another alumna fills out the rec. Of course, that's if your sorority uses a Legacy Form.

Sadly (I think, anyway) lots and lots of people have no idea what this means.

^ Sadly, I agree. But these are women who are supposedly intelligent enough to get into a college. Surely they could ask someone who knows what "church appropriate" means. A teacher, for example, would know.

The phrase "church appropriate/worship service appropriate" regarding rush clothes needs to die in a fire for multiple reasons.

1. The PC reason - many people have never or very rarely been to a worship service of any kind and have no clue what you would wear to one. Using this phraseology makes rushees uncomfortable.

2. The practical reason #1 - "church appropriate" is different everywhere. In some churches, the majority of the congregants wear suits and dresses to work on a daily basis and this is the one day they don't have to do it. They look at suits as "everyday" and not church wear. They wear nice polos and khakis, but obviously those don't work for pref parties.

3. Practical reason #2 - "God doesn't care what you wear" has gotten interpreted by "It's OK to go to church in the jeans you wore to milk the cow in." I honestly would be ashamed to go through the Taco Bell drive thru in some of the things I see, let alone to church. Don't get me started on the teenage girls whose parents obviously think it's ok for their daughter's tits to be hanging onto the communion rail.

I would never, EVER tell someone nowadays to wear "church attire" unless we were from the same congregation and I knew what I was talking about.

Seriously you all, this is so helpful (: I feel so much better now!

Please excuse me for being contrary, but I think it is much more important to join a chapter that you feel comfortable with, whether said sorority has a huge presence back home or not. You are spending 4 years living with these women and you have to be happy and be invested in the group.

You will find alumnae chapters all over the country, and if there is no alumnae chapter of your sorority where you settle, you can start one or join the alumnae panhellenic chapter there.

Ditto. What is big in your home area may not even be offered at your university. I think that is poor advice. If you are thinking maybe you'd transfer home and join a chapter, remember that many sororities don't automatically allow this.

I agree. That is flamingly terrible advice. The "girls from her neck of the woods" might be people she has nothing in common with. As far as joining ABC because ABC has lots of alum chapters back home, maybe 1) she never intends to live back in her hometown and 2) the alums in her hometown might all be from the same college chapter and she wouldn't feel as comfy as she could there.