Rushing as a Junior
 

I am thinking about rushing as a junior and want to know if I have a chance at all.

I have been going to the same University since freshman year and am about to finish my sophomore year. I have wanted to rush and join a sorority since starting college. My freshman year, I was intimidated by the process and could get none of my friends to rush with me, so I decided not to go through with it. I regretted that decision almost immedietly. The entire year I kept wishing I had gone through rush and decided that I woudl rush my sophmore year.

I did rush this fall and went through the entire recruitment process. The problem was that the sorority that extended me a bid was the sorority I had placed at the bottom of my list after every day. I signed the bid and went to the meet and greet with the sorority. I was almost in tears I was so upset about the sorority that I had recieved the bid from and the very next day I informed them that I didi not want to go through the pledge season.

I still want to be in a sorority though and have gone through this entire year wishing that I had gotten a bid from any of the other sororites on campus.

I had heard that their was a glitch in the process last fall and that some girls did not get pledges from their first picks even when that sorority had also extended them bids, but I do not know if that is true or not.

I would really like to join a sorority next fall but wonder if I have a chance at all of recieving a bid considering it is my junior year and since I have already been through the rush process. According to Greek Life at my college if you accept a bid and later drop it you are banned from rushing for a year. This fall will be the end of that year so I would be eligable.

I have enjoyed college, but I have felt like it has been incomplete. I want that deep sisterhood friendship that sororities can bring and the sense of belonging.

Any advice or perspective on this would be most welcome! Thank you!

There are several threads about rushing as a junior. Please use the search function and you should be able to find a lot of information.

Good luck.

The sororities have already given you a chance and let you know where you fit. The chances of there being "a glitch" are 99.9999% improbable. That kind of rumor is usually the work of girls who didn't get the bid they wanted and ended up at a chapter "below" them.

Even at non-competitive schools, a re-rushing Junior who did previously receive a bid would have a very hard time. Unless something has dramatically changed for the better in the last year. If you decide to rush, make sure you are truly emotionally prepared to not receive any bid this time.

^I'm not sure why the "glitch" rumor crops up constantly; it is EXTREMELY unlikely to the point of being a completely frivilous accusation. If you decide to go through again be prepared to be asked:
1) Why didn't you go through recruitment before junior year?
2) Oh, you went through already? What happened?
If you want to have a chance at being successful, you should seriously consider what you have improved upon or changed since sophomore year and how you are a better candidate now. Also -- are you prepared to accept the group you turned down already should they offer you another chance? They wanted you before and may want you again, but you are going to have to show some serious signs of maturation. Good luck.

I guess I should add that my school is not very competitive when it comes to rushing. It's a relativly small public state univeristy in the midwest. I personally don't believe the glitch story either, but I just wanted to share everything I had been told.

You were given a bid. It was not your favorite. You went to meet the sorority on bid day.

Just how badly do you want to be in sorority? You are contradicting yourself by saying you want to be in a sorority, but, when one gave you a chance, you declined. Sounds like you want to be in sorority that meets your idealist needs. It does not work way. You screwed yourself.

There are countless stories on Greek Chat of those who did not get their first choice, pledged and found something. One member can make a difference. You never gave those women a chance.

You won't know unless you try. Realize though, if you do rush again, you may have several strikes against you, depending on the greek life system on your campus. On some campuses, even not super competitive and smaller groups may see you as damaged goods or think that you think that you are better than their NPC sisters that you declined a bid from.

I would suggest that if you have friends in sororities, talk to them about potentially re-rushing. Ask them to be honest and not blow rainbows up your butt.

I think the stigma of "re-rushing" varies from school to school. The bigger question is why a chapter that didn't want you as a sophomore would want you as a junior.

Why would a chapter want sloppy seconds? Especially (as you describe) from a less desirable chapter?

Rerush. It is one week out of your life. If you aren't liking your options after preferentials, DO NOT sign the bid card. Then you will be free to attend informal recruitment events for sororities throughout the school year and possibly be bidded by one of them.

If you're at a school with only a handful of sororities and a non-competitive recruitment, chances are you will get a bid somewhere.

Also, please remember that you are basing your Top Choice on an org where, on average, you have spent less than hour speaking to only a few of its members. If you're a fairly average person, chances are you can find a way to fit into any group of 50+ people.

Go in with an open mind not expecting anything-- just plan to find something you like about each sorority each day of recruitment.

Like I said, all you have to lose by rerushing is a few bucks for registration and a week of your life going to parties and meeting people. If you do that, you will have no regrets about missing out on anything, and if it doesn't go as planned, you know you tried. Go for it, I say.

Which is why I said unless something has dramatically changed for the better in the last year. :) Seriously, I don't get why a woman thinks she will change the minds of chapters that already rejected her as a sophomore. Unless of course she discovered the cure for cancer or was the person responsible for finding Osama Bin Laden since last year's recruitment.

To be fair, the OP didn't say "this is the chapter everyone had at the bottom of their list." It was the one at the bottom of HER list. For all we know, it was a chapter everyone else loved and she didn't want to pledge there because the columns on the house frightened her or something.

This is 100% not true. If the Greek system and the sororities are that small, more than likely each chapter has a very distinct personality and if you don't fit, you REALLY DON'T FIT. Non-competitive does NOT mean everyone with a cervix gets a bid. :rolleyes:

OP - if that's the case, you should have been working over this past year to make friends with members of the other sororities. If no one in the groups knows you as a junior AND you have already declined a bid, no matter how non-competitive the school is, the chance of your attaining sorority membership at this point is slim.

My point is this-- why in the world would you want to get an entirely new group of friends your junior year? You said you've been there since you were a freshman, and you have already gone through recruitment once, so what is going to change to make this year different? It would be different if you hadn't gone through recruitment and you were still unsure of whether or not you fit in somewhere, but you have. And the process works (most of the time). So I'm at a loss.

If you are interested in going into recruitment again with a truly open mind, I say go for it with your whole heart; then you won't regret it. Otherwise I would suggest that you invest your time into other interests and passions of yours, and with the friends you already have. You were offered the opportunity to join a sisterhood once and you let it pass you by, I suggest you don't do the same again if you really want this. Good luck to you.

• Boyfriend breakup.
  
• Friend breakup.
  
• Changed major and have far more time on hands.

I think that a junior who is a "clean slate" can go in at quite a few schools and receive a bid to a group she loves and who loves her with a minimum of trouble, BUT the OP's problem is that she's already gone through rush, received a bid, and declined it. Anyone who does that is going to be looked at doubly closely, no matter their class status. Unless she happens to have befriended a whole bunch of girls in another chapter, I don't have a good feeling about this one.

Also, even at a small noncompetitive school, she could have been really nervous and just bombed. Going back again a little more prepared and confident could (theoretically) change her outcome.

But as has been said here a million times, you won't know if you don't try. Do your homework, be open to EVERY sorority, and who knows? Maybe it will work out better next time. But start with a sit down with yourself about what went wrong last time. And be honest with yourself. It will do you no good to say to yourself that YOU are awesome and they just didn't see it. Or the orange and green polka dot culottes were a fashion statement, or...

You have given me some great things to think about. And, out of curiousity, if I do decide to re-rush will it be known that I am re-rushing? I think honest is the best policy in this situation and explaining my situation throughly will be my best bet, but I was just wondering what they will already know about me.

The chapter you declined the bid from will obviously know you're re-rushing, and depending on how small your Greek system is, word can get around really fast.

I wouldn't say "hi, I'm sunflower and I'm rerushing" but if you are asked about it, you need to be truthful and say you are. Theoretically the conversation should end there, as sororities aren't supposed to talk about other sororities during rush.

Typically sororities will not receive an indication you are re-rushing but that could vary depending on the school. However people will either remember you from last year, hear the rumor about the re-rushing girl who got a bid last year (yes, girls do talk between chapters) or you will be asked during conversations why you haven't rushed before your junior year, to which you will have to give an honest answer. Do not even think about fudging the truth because it will come out.

Do we know her school? If asked, answer honestly, but spin in your favor. If they don't bring it up, then don't bring it up either.

You went through rush and met these women once before. Depending on the size of your school, chances are good that they will remember you. I know at my school we would have.

From the perspective of a "large" school (~1200 pnms going through recruitment), advisors do talk to each other as well (actives are always so surprised when they discover this fact). And yes, the actives and the advisors do recall pnms, and not always for negative reasons. That is about the extent of what I'm comfortable saying without straying into membership selection territory.

As you've been told, don't overstate your case or provide too much information, but answer simply and honestly. You have a lot of time to work out what you would like to say and internalize it so that it's natural before recruitment starts. Focus on the future, and do your best.

Thank you all for your advice. I followed your advice and have asked some of my friends who have already joined a sorority what they thought about my situation in regards to my school. Hopefully their input in addition to the ideas I got on here will help me make my final decision. Luckily I still have a few months to decide what I should do and to start planning if I decide to rush again :)

So, I have given this a lot of thought and I think I have come to a final decision...but there are still a few questions I have. Rush is about a month away so I still have a lot of thoughts I am processing.

1. It was suggested that I talk to some of my friends who were already affiliated and ask them what they thought about my situation. I talked to one of my good friends who rushed last year, so she has only experienced one side of recruitment. She talked to her big who was on the Recruitment team for Panhellenic. Her big said she thought I should go through recruitment and see what happens, but that she (or my friend) couldn't really say anymore because that would be dirty rushing. On one hand, that seems promising, but it's also vauge and more of a "we can't say anything, but give it a try"
2. It was also suggested that I reflect on what I have improved upon this year and why I would be a better canidate this year then I was last year. One of the biggest changes I think would be that my GPA improved over the course of last year. It went from a 3.25 to a 3.54, and will only be going up from here on out ;) Another thing that I think makes me better qualified is the fact that last year I was extremly busy and was involved in an organization on the National level which was quite a bit time consuming. It was a children's organization, and this year I have aged out, so I no longer have that as a time commitment. This also means that I have more time to invest in a new passion of mine (which I'm hoping could possibly be a sorority if I recieve a bid)
3. Finally, when I'm talking to members during rush and they say "Why did you wait until your Junior year to rush?" it was said that I should absolutly tell the truth, which I intend on doing, but I guess what I am wondering is Should I say "Well, I did rush last year, but there were a lot of factors that came up ($, parents support, time commitments etc) that prevented me from joining a sorority", and thus kind of skirt around the issue that I recieved a bid and dropped it, or should I be straight forward if asked and say "Well, I did rush last year and recieved a bid but there were a lot of.... (like I said in the other example)

I guess a lot of what I just wrote was for my own internalization, but I'm also wondering if my thoughts were logical, or if I am completly on the wrong page when looking at rushing again? I think a lot of what I wrote, may be things that I kind of say if I go through rush. I know that if I do go through recruitment it will be much more difficult then if I was a freshman, but I have been doing my research and hopefully I know what I am up against. Any thoughts you guys have will be appreciated and considered! Thank you!!

I totally agree with adpiucf! You really do not have anything to lose and if you do not rush, you will always wonder what would have happened if you did.

The best answer is the shortest answer, but yes, you can tell them you went through and for a variety of reasons didn't finish. I'm sorry, it's 1 AM my time so I'm not going to go back through to read, but were you offered a spot and you declined it, you quit midway, were cut midway? In any case, I'd find an answer that makes you seem enthusiastic about the NOW and hope to make the best of the time you still have left in college and your future life as an alumna. Don't be defensive or sound like you're trying to dance around the issue.

Your friends are right - it can quickly stray into dirty rush or secret stuff if they told you more. Your grades are very good. Brush up on your conversation skills and make sure your appearance is all you want it to be. And hope for the best! That's all you can do. Understand some chapters may not be cool with your age, but others might be just fine about it, and go in ready to wow them. Good luck!

Sunflower, your situation seems similar to mine. I rerushed when I was a Sophomore, had an excellent recruitment and ended up getting the bid to my very favorite sorority.

My re-rush link is here:
http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...trawberrygloss

However to have a successful recruitment I knew I needed to change and improve some things big time.
1. I talked to basically any friend I had in the sorority. I sent them all messages in the spring telling them that I really enjoyed their chapter and asked them if I was COB'ing. So about 6/8 of the sororities had gals that knew I was interested in them.
2. I talked to a girl in my dorm that was in one of my favorite sororities. She knew my personality, but also knew that I was super shy and bombed recruitment in the Fall. She gave me a lot of pointers like having a lot of energy, being interested in what they were saying and very animated.
3. I had letter of Rec's to every sorority
4. For me, I needed a serious confidence boost. I felt so rejected from Greek Life the year prior, so for me the boost came from wearing comfortable, stylish clothes that really flattered my body.
5. I also practiced Rush conversations with my mom and honestly everyone that I met. Rush conversations are so different in that they're like speed-dating. Be cheerful, interested in what they're saying and you can always ask about them! People LOVE talking about themselves. One of the best tips I have ever been given for rush conversations is to listen for the nouns in what your person is saying. For example: Rusher: "I love XYZ sorority, we have really fun sisterhoods such as going to the corn maze during halloween and going hiking"
You've got 3 nouns to go off of. Since I'm into hiking I would say "Oh I love hiking! Do you hike a lot?" Or whatever. Ask a question back to the rusher about herself.
6. I also knew the typical questions they were going to ask "Where are you from?" "Where are you living?"I was living in an apartment that year, so I mentioned that and added "with three roommates whom I LOVE. We cook together and have movie nights together." This gave the rusher many topics to go off of.

The last page of my re-recruitment story goes over the changes I made more in depth. Good luck to you!

Strawberrygloss, Thank YOU! You're recruitment story is really inspiring for me (and I'm sure for other girls who are in similar situations). I already feel a bit more confident about this! You have some really great tips and I will be sure to do some practice conversations so I can be as prepared as possible!

DubaiSis, Yes, I recieved a bid and signed, but dropped it the very next day. I'm already thinking of positive spins I can put to my answers regarding those questions about re-rushing and I will be sure to be thinking about the NOW. What happend last fall, happened in the past and all I can worry about is how I present myself NOW

If THEY bring it up, "I rushed last year, but didn't end up pledging."

I would think your experience with your national organization might be interesting to the women recruiting you - whether it's Jack & Jill or 4H or whatever, working at the national level has to have taught you some skills you might offer the group.

As others have said, no one here knows the exact situation at your school, who you are friends with and who (if anyone) you've alienated, or how upperclassman are viewed, but it sounds like you've asked around and made an assessment, so let us know how it goes.

I'm also wondering, when I'm going to the first set of parties, how should I act when I get to the sorority that I signed with for a day? I know a few people will remember me (a girl from my high school, my Rho Chi, the girl I preffed with etc), but I also know many will not. Will they be angry that I dropped my pledge and am rushing again? I think that, theoretically, if I recieved a bid from them this year I would take it and am going into recruitment with a completly open mind about all the sororities on campus. But, I was just wondering how I should treat this situation. Thanks!

No. This is the last thing she should say. She should only comment on it if they bring it up, of course, but rather than word it this way (which is misleading) she should say "I rushed last year and received a bid, but depledged during the first week for personal reasons that have now been resolved. It had nothing to do with the sorority."

Saying that "she didn't end up pledging" makes it sound like she never got a bid, and for all we know, the chapter may have entered her name on a pledge roll of some sort before she depledged. Therefore, she WAS pledging. She should not skirt the issue that she actually received a bid. It's public record. Lying about it will make her look twice as bad.

Saying she was in tears at bid day and quit the next morning doesn't sound too great either, which is why she should just say she quit in the first week (which is the truth).

However, from what the OP has said about her school, it sounds like most groups/people will know her situation anyway, so the question is kind of moot. She didn't characterize it as a huge SEC-type school with hundreds of girls coming through where you can barely remember the girls from day to day let alone year to year.

We can't tell you how they'll act. They may understand why you dropped and greet you with delight and want you give you a bid again, they may all ignore you or be super rude to you, or somewhere in between. Most likely the whole chapter will be aware of your situation if your school required women to sign up in advance. Just be as polite and gracious as you can.

All you can control is how YOU handle the situation. You may have to have a more personal conversation than most of the girls around you, but it is what it is. Try to be as gracious as you can, and if you are in contact with any girls in that particular chapter now, I would try to let them know (now, not during rush - that's a rush infraction) how you feel. But not at the first day party - too awkward and you don't know if your rusher knows you or your story and it could open a whole can of worms you don't want squirming around.

Be nice, don't lie, and you don't have to vomit out your whole life story. Less is more when it comes to this kind of stuff.

Well, I did it. I turned in my application for recruitment! I knew that I would regret not trying more than being upset if things dont work out. Things didn't work out last year and I survived, so I know I can do it again. I will try to keep you guys posted on what happens!

Good luck!!

Quick Question
I remember when I was looking over the different posts this summer finding a post that was talking about Suicide Bids and how sometimes if you do that you get kicked out of consideration for COBing....and they suggested writing down your first choice and then another sorority that you would have absolutly no chance or receiving a bid from because you had been dropped by them a few days ago....but of course I can't find that post. I just wanted to check....is that something that actually works? Like, if I know I really dont' want my second choice would writing another one down that I haven't visited in a few days actually work? I'm not at that point yet in recruitment, but I've just been thinking about all my options and wanted to check.

If you do not list all chapters at which you attend pref, you are still eligible for COB, you are not eligible to be a QA. Writing down a chapter at which you did not pref is the same as SIP'ing. You will not fool anybody.

All that said, in your position, you should really try to be open to any bid in what is probably your last chance to go Greek.

I mentioned that ages ago with computer programs that are antiquated now.

In your position, where you have already gotten dropped from all but one of the chapters in your previous rush, it isn't going to fly.