Is it all about looks?
 

I went through a few other websites where people talked about either my school's sororities or just sororities in general. It seems that there are fat sororities, hot sororities, butch sororities, and everything in between. I also see that every one has something bad to say about every single sorority. I hate that in my quest to find the perfect sisterhood for me, I keep running into negative comments. I am a bigger girl and I know this. I just know that I am focused on whether or not my grades, high school activities, community service, and overall impression is good enough, and now I have to worry about being too fat, or not tan enough to be greek? I see the good in the greek life but I also see the bad.

Anyone have any advice? Personal experiences with this? I know people say recruitment isn't about physical appearance, but more rather than how you present yourself with dressing nicely and conducting a lady-like manner but after reading comments, I assume otherwise.

Oh, my. Get your stuff together that you need for recruitment and go through recruitment with an open mind.

Also, stop going to those sites. They're fucking awful.

If you are not yet greek, but are considering going through recruitment... you will never know until you try. Change the attitude and "assumptions", or else it will be noticed, and you'll shoot yourself in the foot. Put your best self forward, in all ways. That's all you can do.

Have you done any reading of the many recruitment-related threads here?

Wow. I don't want to seem insecure. I guess I came off that way. All I wanted was to get some of the stereotypes I've heard about, cleared up. I'm very open minded and very confident.

Stereotypes = bad news bears, amiga. Stay away from them.

I have read, there's just so many threads to go through. I will look through those. Thank you :)

What's with your user name if you aren't even Greek? That's pretty presumptuous.

Meh, much better than having a particular group in it.

I'm not being presumptuous. I want to be greek, eventually. I am interested in the greek life and I know that if I work hard enough, I will get into a sorority.

I hate that I came here to get advice and learn about sororities and recruitment and god forbid, I ask a question and I get anything but answers.

Uh, what?

Here's some advice:

1. Stop looking at those web sites. They are full of evil. Concentrate on yourself and the things you can control.
2. Be yourself in recruitment. You will have a much better chance of finding a home.
3. Relax. Every recruitment is stressful but your school isn't exactly on par with Ole Miss, Bama, Texas etc.
4. Stop whining. It will not endear you to the people here.

Seriously, wtf.

I gave a nice answer and only dropped the f-bomb once, and this is what I get?

First off, where is my cookie?
Second off, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?

It's because you're old, and tired.

OH MY GOD

I HOPE THIS DOESN'T AFFECT MY RECRUITMENT!

ALSO, YELLING!

Yes, I'm afraid being old and tired will certainly affect your recruitment. You will only be able to pledge the Old and Tired group. Do not even think about pledging the Youthful and Energetic group, nor the Hot and Smart group. You are only Old and Tired material.

Don't worry though, their house is a retirement home. You'll love it.

OP, even though you totally bitched out the other people who tried to give you advice, I'll take a crack at it. It doesn't matter whether you're gorgeous or not. What matters is that you feel gorgeous and show that you're confident. You want to show sorority women that you're strong, not insecure. The best advice I can give is to dress in a way that flatters your body. Take the time to find well-fitting clothes. Don't wear baggy clothing, it just makes a person look bigger than they are. Make sure you are well-groomed with clean hair, natural makeup, and nice nails. If you look your best, no one will be thinking about your size, instead, they'll be thinking about how polished you look. Of course, looks aren't everything. You want to make sure your personality shines through and that you're communicating well.

Some chapters take appearance into consideration.

True, but I highly doubt that a chapter would drop a PNM who got along perfectly with everyone and represented all their values just because she had a big nose, or was too tall, or too chubby. Besides, it doesn't seem like the OP would want to be part of a chapter that put such an importance on looks.

I think you're a sweetheart, but this is a big sugar coated pile of bull squeeze. Looks matter a lot to some chapters. If a pnm doesn't measure up to their standards, it isn't something she can change. Fortunately, there are chapters that put an emphasis on other things. But you shouldn't go around speaking on behalf of every group on every campus' selection process.

... pot. Kettle. Pot. Kettle.

Keeping a really offensive quote in your signature is far, far worse.

*yawn*

Whatever, sock.

There are definitely chapters that do cut for not looking the part. It's part of the game, but your bolded comment is important. Squeezing a square peg in a round hole just makes for a miserable experience, IMO.

I almost can't believe you actually said this. You don't need to worry about making into a sorority. You need to worry about making it through life with that attitude of yours.

http://randomoverload.com/wp-content...violin.jpg.jpg

Rainbows and sunshine and promises that, despite what she obviously already knows, she'll get her first choice sorority and will be insta-best friends with all her new sisters, and not one of them will judge her by her weight.

Listen, OP, being fat sucks - I know, I've been there. BUT, you can choose to let it stop you from going through recruitment or you can just do it and see how it all shakes out. Also, yeah, you might end up in the stereotyped fat house. If you're looking for sisterhood, that's where you may find it. If you're looking to get into the Hot Barbie House because you think that by sporting HBH letters you'll automatically become a Hot Barbie, you're going to be sorely disappointed regardless of your rush outcome.

I agree that this is the most important. Although I think many PNMs think they want to be a part of that chapter, even if they'd never really fit in there.

Is it all about looks?
 

No, usually, it's about the whole package. A good personal presentation, plus a good record on paper -- grades, activities, community service, etc.

I am taking recruitment out of the equation for a moment and speaking to the bigger issue (no pun intended):

If you are bigger than you want to be, even if you have health problems, and if you desire to work on your body, there is always something you can do to work your shape and your health.

- Add more movement to your daily routine.
- Add in 20 minutes of exercise, several days per week. Walking is a fine exercise, as long as you're challenging yourself with elevation, pace, etc.
- Drink more water
- Count calories. We often overestimate what we eat by up to a third! Just the simple act of counting makes you aware of what you are eating.
- Toning what you have can make you appear slimmer. Muscles are denser than fat.

If you so desire, you can lose 17-34 pounds SAFELY by the third week of August (not sure when recruitment is). That's 1-2 pounds per week.

I'm not saying you have to - you may be perfectly happy at your current weight - but it does seem to bother you.

If nothing else, you'll have given yourself a better state of health, perhaps built more confidence, and have accomplished a great goal.

Thank you, thank you, for stating this often-denied truth.
________

My recruitment experiences all come from the University of Mississippi, and I will tell you, some girls will judge you based on your weight. But most will not. Looks do matter, somewhat, but they aren't the most important thing to most chapters. What's more important is your GPA, extra curriculars, recs, and most importantly, your attitude.

Be outgoing and respectful. Meet girls from different chapters. If you're really that worried about it, try to lose some weight. But in the end do you really want to be in a chapter that cut you because of how much you weigh anyway?

Rainbows and lollipops. You can have all of those things and more but if you're obese or unattractive you're not getting a bid from my chapter. There are many chapters where this matters as well as many where it doesn't. There. I said it. Deal.

I say this with a big glass of water sitting next to me, after having just journaled my lunch (meaning I'm not denying what you are saying is 100% da troof):
Don't give overweight people advice on how to lose weight. It does little more than waste your time and frustrate them. Overweight people mentally know how to lose weight (or can Google 77543345 websites on the subject, most of which will start with all of the info in your post) - the issue is being in the right place in your life to do it. You have to decide that it's the right time for you, and you have to WANT it bad enough for yourself-not for a friend, boyfriend, or sorority. Then is the only time it will happen.

Not nice. But true.

I just want to say that it goes both ways. I came from a "weak recruiting chapter", and you know what? PNM's didn't want to come back to my chapter because we had fat women. I don't understand this, myself, having chosen my chapter, but it seems that some people think fat women don't make good friends or that cuter girls are automatically nicer people.