If you knew then what you know now...
 

I was reading a couple of the newer threads with women gearing up for fall recruitment and asking about recs, clothing, etc. I almost felt a little jealous of them having the excitement of going through recruitment and (hopefully) starting their Greek life.

Knowing what I know now, I definitely would have done some things differently. I knew next to nothing about sororities when I went to college, I knew no one in a sorority, and there was no Greek Chat. :) But knowing what I do now, I definitely would have tried formal rush. Not sure if I would have made it through with the same result, but even just having Greek Chat and the info here would have made a huge difference in my decision to do formal rather than informal.

I also think I would have done less with my sorority. I know that probably sounds strange, but I gave so much that I was seriously burned out at the end. I wish I had enjoyed myself more rather than working so hard. I enjoyed it, but I wish I had enjoyed it differently - without the stress!

If you had it to do over again knowing then what you know now, what would you do differently? :)

I'm not even sure I would have rushed as a freshman. In any case, I would have made a bigger effort to stay close with my "dorm friends".

During rush, I definitely would have kept my mouth shut about my family members' affiliations. I didn't realize that this could hurt me, but I think I screamed "joining XYZ!!!". I also would have been more guarded in conversations I had in front of my rho chis. I don't believe for one second that most rho chis keep certain things to themselves.

I would have skipped formal rush altogether and then gone straight to Sigma Iota Phi's informal rush.

I would have worked harder on grades and not extracurriculars and I would have been really scared of rushing at Auburn as a junior.

If I knew then what I knew now, I would have gotten into Greek life just a little bit earlier. I can't say I'd go back and rush as a freshman, though, because Theta Phi didn't exist on my campus then but I would have liked to be a chapter founder. I joined 1 year later.

I wouldn't have signed up for an account on GreekChat.... :P

I wouldn't have worn a super heavy sweater to a packed pref party held in a tiny suite with tons of candles. LOL

I would have gotten more involved in Greek Life earlier and picked up my bid during my sophmore year instead of waiting another year.

I would have told my boss to shove it and that he promised me FR off freshman year when I got a job there before school started, and I would have gone through freshman year instead of just saying "okay I guess I'll just not do it" when he scheduled me for work.

I love Sigma, but the path to get me here was a long one.
Although it makes me appreciate it even more I think.

I wouldn't have dropped a chapter after first round. When there are only three chapters, declining an invitation* to one of those three on night one is pretty stupid.

Otherwise there are things I would have liked to change, but they were growing opportunities so I can rationalize "keeping" all of them.

*yes, that's how it worked there/then- you received invites and decided how many to accept each night.

Like!

I wouldn't have known what I know now if I hadn't made those mistakes, and furthermore there would have been a whole slew of new mistakes to be made if I had made different choices.

A Grook by Piet Hein

A MAXIM FOR VIKINGS

I would have kept my big mouth shut more, and taken recruitment a little more seriously

While I don't think the outcome would have changed, I wish I had gotten recs. I honestly had no clue.

Had I gone through formal recruitment, I think I would have had the same result. As to life in the sorority, I would have spent less time with my boyfriend (now husband) and less time in my room alone, and more time hanging out at the house, getting to know the sisters.

Looking back, I wish I had listened a little more to my extremely southern and well versed roomate during the fall, prior to recruitment. I was clueless all semester and know that I may have not always acted appropriately.

"extremely southern"... as in, a penguin? ;)

I should probably say that I should have waited to rush until my sophmore year and after I transferred - but I think I'll just say that I wish I had demanded an advisor who spoke English and worked harder on my grades.

This isn't sorority related, but one of the great regrets of my life is that I dropped a math class. Math is not my strongest subject and I had a huge lecture and a TA who couldn't speak English. We only had a couple of exams for the class and after the first one I was sure I didn't do well. I decided to drop the class since I didn't have to have it and I knew it would probably be a drag on my GPA.

Imagine the sick feeling in my stomach when it was time to graduate and I discovered I had met all the qualifications for Phi Beta Kappa - except taking that math class. :(

Even typing this I feel sick to my stomach over twenty years later. And I never knew what I got on that exam or if I might have at least made it through with a passing grade and been Phi Beta Kappa.

Ugh.

On those lines, I wish I HAD dropped a math class. My SATs put me into a calc class that I had no actual preparation for (I took accounting in HS instead of calc, being under the silly delusion that it might help me as an accounting major) and my advisor encouraged me to stick with it. I just squeaked by with tutoring. The problem was I then had to take an even MORE advanced class. These classes had nothing to do with my major and I wish I had spoken up and said "I didn't take this in high school like everyone else in it, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm dropping it and taking regular freshman math. Period."

Testing into (or out of) classes is a flawed system for sure. I had 4 years of Spanish and 1 of French going into college. Thanks to my Spanish, I tested very well in the multiple choice French placement exam. I effectively skipped 2 years of grammar and vocabulary, and did not do so well.

Academically, I wish I had been more conservative and pushed back on my optimistic adviser who signed off on the French level. She also waived the pre-reqs for a junior level course... my first term. I switched advisers a couple of years later but that damage was already done. Sometimes being an overachiever just needs to be talked down!

I say this all the time. If I had just taken all of the courses I tested out of, I would have had that many hours worth of "A". Instead, I had a bunch of hours on my transcript that counted for nothing. Oh well, I hate math, and with the CLEP test I took, all I had to take was Trig in college, and I was done. I have never taken calculus and am proud to say I know nothing about it! :D If I could do anything else differently, it would be to major in biology or chemistry, not Pre-Med. What a dumb decision! Oh well. It all turned out well in the end.

I had a different version of a similar story. I tested out of all but a single French class, which I took first Quarter of Freshman year. I found it very, very easy. We were required to meet our TA and prepare a 5 minute talk on the topic of our choosing in French, and when we met, he said, "This has been pretty easy for you, hasn't it?" I said it had, and he showed me that I had a 97 going into the final. He asked me what my Major was. I explained I was pre-Journalism, but that I couldn't apply to J-School for at least 4 quarters. He mentioned that I could have a minor in French by the time I applied to get into the J program, and I listened.

I took 5 more classes in the French department, and they stretched my brain to the limit, but I am so glad I did. I recently found that old TA on LinkedIn to thank him.

So, I don't categorically advise against testing out, for me, it made a huge impact, but everyone's experience is different. :)

As much I love my NPC sorority (and I do love it deeply) and as much as I wouldn't trade my sisters for the world, I sometimes wish I had gone to a school with NPHC or MCGLO sororities (and I'm white). They seem to lack the stigma often attached to NPC sororities, and thus are more "appropriate" to identify with as an alumna--the "am" whether than "was," for one thing. That, and they seem to have amazing histories and public traditions that are recognized and respected, where as the history and traditions of NPC sororities seem to be often mocked and conflated with Animal House.

Like I said, I love my sorority and my sisters very deeply, so I'm in no way trying to discredit the sisterhood or amazing history and traditions of my sorority and other NPC sororities--I just wish I had known about the NPHC/MCGLO side of things earlier as well.

I would have been much more serious about attempting to found a chapter of my sorority at my alma mater. As things went, I wasn't able to join until after I had graduated.

They have their own different ish to deal with. Trust me.

If I could go back I would have spent a little less time organizing stuff and always being hands on, and instead just relax more and enjoy being an active.

Adding... I wish I hadn't concentrated on getting to know just one or two group of sisters. That's okay as a new member, but coming back after the summer, it can be so easy to whine, "I don't have any friends now!" I was fortunate, because my mother had always insisted that I learn how to talk and get to know everyone, and swallowed my pride & did so. There were a lot of my pledge class who didn't, though, and ended up sans sorority.

I don't understand this.

Everything has its pros and cons. That truly goes without saying.

Since I was on a campus with deferred recruitment, I would have studied much more and partied much less. No matter how many people you get to know around campus, if you don't have the grades to go through recruitment, you're sitting at home on bid night.

I would have registered for recruitment before the week it started, told my grandmother for certain that i was going through so she could put in her legacy intro form (that way she wouldn't still give me grief about not being her sister), wouldn't have transferred my senior year (esp. since i ended up transferring back a year later), definitely would have tried harder in my non-major classes and gotten involved in other activities.

I would've told myself to RELAX and let things happen. I was lucky that everyone was so nice -- I was so anxious! It's definitely not worth getting super worked up about.