Are you @#$%ing kidding me??
 

I heard a reference to these on Pandora, and had to check it out. Yipes.

themommycard.com

Elsa Maxwell is pissing her man-tailored pants laughing in the great beyond over this one.

I saw these a few weeks ago. To be honest, I think they're a good idea if you're in a situation where you're acting as parents and handing out a business card would be weird. For example, if your kid's daycare/class doesn't have a call sheet, and you only know your fellow parents as "Bobby's mom" but you don't know their last name, even first name, phone #, things of that nature.

I don't have kids, but if I were single I'd think of having calling cards made up. No awkward "text me from your phone" moments, one with a real number, one with a fake one (kept separately and look different). It's awkward to give a business card in social situations (and srsly, don't email me for social stuff to my work email).

The ones with medical information seem to be a particularly good idea.

Their descriptions are silly but people have had personal cards for years. It's just another tool to use for networking purposes.

Similarly, I want to get cards for live-in and I that say "agzg's boyfriend" and "live-in's girlfriend" so that when we go to each other's work events we can exchange contact information quickly and efficiently with coworkers/coworkers' significant others and they can remember who we are (we sometimes network separately from one another at these events, but our worlds get very small - mostly only the people who we can remember their name and who they're with).

I also one a set that says "Professional badass - you've been warned" but my friend is already working on those for me.

This.

These are just parenting focused personal cards. (Although personal cards always make me think of Laura Ingalls Wilder... just because!)

LOL. I blame youtube for this rant.

I could actually see getting my sister some of these after she moves. Yeah, they're self-indulgent, but having a card you can hand someone is pretty convenient. And if you don't have business cards, these would make sense.

I'm reminded of the business card scene in American Psycho, but then, I reference that movie far more than I should.

I LOVE the pet cards! Very cute... may have to get some :) I have the prettiest Lab ever!

@BraveMaroon: Someone referenced that on FB the other day. I'd never seen that scene but I cracked up.

I had this in college. I guess it didn't count as a "business" card because it wasn't for work. But I printed up cards in my school colors to hand to professors I met and interviewed with for grad school. They would be pretty handy because, let's face here, "Here, put your number in my phone" is getting old.

christiangirl, you are a smart networker. :) That's how it should be done.

You mean THIS scene? You stole the words right out of my mouth.

These cards are weird.

Personal/calling cards are not.

I had my first of truly personal cards made last winter, right before I ran for APO national office and right after my job downsized my hours (but before they laid me off). They're fun! It's just my name (True Blood font), email, and number (regular font) over a fleur de lis.

Ugh....I'm sorry, but this is part of that "Mommy Culture" crap that I can't stand. Just get a well designed card that says your name, phone number, e-mail and address. Give out at will. It doesn't have to be about being a "Mommy" (barf), but being a person who wants to make a connection (or do business).

I've got two sets of cards: One set that I designed before I got my job that says "PhoenixAzul, Museum Professional, address, phone, e-mail, website." The back of the cards feature images from my photography portfolio (I used www.moo.com for them, and I can't recommend them enough). Another set are my boring work ones that have the logo and my work contact info. If I'm out making personal connections or in a situation where it would be inappropriate to give my work card, I give the other one. In some work situations I give both. I always have them with me, and I'm shameless about giving them out. Shameless.

Thanks for the moo plug, because I just checked them out and think they look far better than other suggestions I've gotten for my show announcements. Are they quick?

I like this whole idea. It's genuinely never occurred to me but I think I might have some made for both social and academic situations. Sounds like a great way to stand out a little.

That's the thing -- these are business cards, not calling cards. Miss Manners weeps that people don't know the difference anymore. And calling cards traditionally don't have contact information on them, just names -- though I can see how times could change on this one.

I'll admit it -- I'm laughing at them, and shaking my head at them. Anyone finding their identity in being someone's Mom (or Dad) is sad.

[detour for story]

A co-worker came by my office a few weeks ago. A friend of his had "inherited" a jar that was full of business and calling cards. For whatever reason, they were going through it and found my grandparent's calling card, which would have had to have been left at least 50 years ago. He btrought me the card. Kind of cool, and also kind of wierd that someone left those cards in a jar for 50 years.

[/detour]

The thing is, I don't think the intention is for someone to find their entire identity in being someone's parent. At least, not any more than my entire identity is tied to my company when I use my business card.

^^^ I can understand that to an extent. I think people are mentally associating the Mommy Brigade with those cards, that is, we already know the annoying mom's who would get them.

On another note, though, when I am working on behalf of an organization, I need for my identity to be tied to that company. It has affected my ability to do business when people find out I'm also an author. (Sometimes.)

My counterpoint would be that when moms and dads are networking with other parents, it's helpful for their identity to be tied to their kids, because the likelihood that another parent is going to remember YOUR name rather than your kid's name is slim. Just because their identity is tied doesn't mean that's their entire identity.

I'm sure the mommy brigade is going nuts over these, but I can also see working parents finding them useful so that they're not that asshole parent flaunting their job all over the place by handing out business cards as contact information.

Like.. my daughter's friends all call me Mrs. Shannon's Mom. That is my official name with them. It cracks me up :) I wouldn't have cards made up with that on them.

While I certainly can't speak for all who use "mommy cards", I can tell you that I have personal cards with my sons' names on them for the many parents I need to exchange information with who may well not know me aside from my role as my son's mother. For the situations in which I use them they are invaluable. They do NOT, however, say "Sons' Mommy" - just their names and then mine. I hate having a parent's business card and having to try and figure out whose parent this is - especially in this day and age when so many children have a different last name than their mothers. I also hate digging through my purse to find a pen and something on which to write - the cards have my name, cell phone number and e-mail. Problem solved.

I don't think that cards for personal use is a big deal. When I was living near Boston, several of my friends had them. Vistaprint is a great place to get cards.

Calling cards - for social reasons - have been around for ages. It was common during Victorian times to leave you calling card for someone when visiting someone. If I'm not mistaken, this practice was practiced up until the turn of the 20th century (1900).

I guess I remember reading about it in books - maybe in "Little Women"?

Lastly, Danny Ocean in "Oceans Eleven" left a calling card, with just his name on it.

But, people can understand someone's career being their "entire identity" but not their family life (which should have a stronger and more time consuming hold on their life) being their "entire identity."

It is also no coincidence that women are the brunt of the joke more often than men.

Exactly, hence my Elsa Maxwell reference. (Google it, kids)

Wouldn't it be a better idea to get a card that simply has your name and #s on it - that idea's been pushed for years by stationery companies - and depending on who you give it to, they can write a note on it as to who you are? That way one card works for Aiden's Mom, Possible New Account Executive, and Chick With Major League Yabbos I Met At Applebee's.

Not being a mom, I guess this is a dumb question. Is it getting to the point where kids' parents have no idea who they're playing with/socializing with any more? Maybe that's a raised in a small town thing, but I guess I just don't get who you need to give these to.

I agree. Also, so many kids don't have the same last name as their moms, with blended families and mothers who didn't change their names upon marriage, or mothers who use their maiden name professionally and their married name personally (which would negate passing out a business card). A friend's parent/coach/teacher might not know "Jane Smith" as "Tommy Miller's mom," a card with "Jane Miller" would be good for people whose sole connection to the person is through the kid.

Yikes. Judgemental much? It doesn't necessarily have to be someone's whole identity. But I don't think that's what this is about. I saw it more as a compartmentalizing thing so your kid's social activities don't take over your life. If anything, I could see myself using these because my kid's friend's mom doesn't need to know my work e-mail, but might want to have my personal e-mail address.

Not at all.

Considering how we mock and decry "helicopter parenting" he's exactly on the right track. Pride in your child, pride in parenting, all that good stuff is completely separate from basing your own identity on your child. The latter is the genesis for helicopter parenting - the cognitive dissonance loop that begins with "My child's successes/failures are my own" and ends with "My baby couldn't be _____________."

These cards have a time and place - I'd hope they'll be used by people with agzg's line of thinking, but I wouldn't be surprised if they're not. As a "compartmentalization" I find it ... lacking, in that you usually don't compartmentalize by drawing attention and giving yourself the easy ability to integrate it into other, unrelated areas.

As always, you've summed it up better than I could have. I agree with both you and MC.

I think there's a difference between this and "helicopter parenting," the latter I clearly detest. Whether we like it or not, when one becomes a parent, some aspect of their identity is wrapped up into being a parent. That doesn't mean that your whole life revolves around your kid--it's just that you can't disassociate it.

Again, this doesn't bother me so much because I can't imagine handing a kid's coach my work business card. It wouldn't say "Mommy," but it would be a personal card. I see it as a way of setting boundaries between personal life and professional life.

You're making a non-functional distinction here - "can't dissociate" is "your identity is your kids" and the shades of gray you're trying to draw really only obfuscate that main point.

I agree in principal and in general, but the difference you're drawing here IS the functional difference. Personal cards have been around forever. This is a change to the personal card, one that appears rooted in the kinds of wrong-headed thinking that lead to more pernicious elements of helicopter parenting.

Buy personal cards. Not "Mommy Cards."

People are jumping to extremes. I don't see this as being even remotely similar to helicopter parents or parents who think their legal name is "Melissa's Mommy/Daddy." Someone's central identity or master status can be that of parent without it being the only thing they have going for themselves. However, it is very difficult to truly have different statuses (job, hobbies, leisure time) if there is no one to help you balance family with other things.

Yes and it isn't just some aspect of their identity, especially for women. Men are more likely than women to be socialized to believe that being a parent is just one aspect of their identity, and many men can easily go through life with being a parent as something that they mention as an afterthought. It's similar to people who talk about men babysitting their kids ("Oh, my kids are at home with their Daddy for a few hours"). You technically can't babysit your own kids but you can if being a parent is your secondary status in life.

As Miranda of SATC said "I'm a damn good attorney and work hard for this firm. It's being a mommy that I suck at right now."

So, if this thread wasn't about "mommy cards" and these were just personal cards that some parents distribute to other parents and schools, there wouldn't be a problem. Everything in moderation.

Yeah, people in this thread are jumping to extremes because of their own interpretations of what it means to have a parent card; and how silly that website conveyed the point as far as some people are concerned.

...and then she'd be a sad person. :(

But not as sad as Jennifer Aniston, she has no kids. Poor sad lady. :(

:( And yet another sign of the relationship between gender and depression.

Back about 13 or so years ago, when I was in HS and met my husband, I had my first set of Personal Cards made up in a Comp Lit Class and I too was totally SHAMELESS about giving them out. So much so that when I met the cute kid in class and saw him passing by me on the way home, I said "hey (while passing him my card) here's my number, call me!" He still claims that was the biggest dork move ever, but he didn't lose the number or accidentally wash it off his hand! And now we're married so I say that's much better than the random scrap of paper or even the cell phone swap. :)

...and Angelina keeps on pushing them out. I wonder if her identity is wrapped up in beating Jennifer Aniston at life.

Obviously. I bet she has a mommy card for each of her kids individually. She has nothing else going on for her, obviously, if people know that she has kids.

Maybe so. Admonishment accepted.

In my defense, I guess what I'm reacting to are the parents I've (personally) seen who make being a parent the defining aspect of their identity. Once the child is grown, they are totally adrift. I know many parents who are justifiably proud of what they did as parents and consider their greatest accomplishment, and rightfully so. Where I get uncomfortable is when the parent loses himself or herself in parenthood, and that's what I was referring to.

And while I'm at it, I'll say that my opinion in this thread may be colored by the fact that I'm not a "card person." I forget (or don't bother) to carry business cards on me most of the time. I probably hand out fewer than one dozen a year. As for calling cards, about the only time my wife and I use them is in wedding presents or the like. I'm not criticizing people who get them or hand them out at all -- I'm just saying that's not me.


It's almost Lent. I'll try to do better with my judgmentalism. :o

If my kids were that cute, I'd have a card for each of them. Two each for Maddox.