Time for a new story...
 

Yall know how it works...

As I was walking down the street, one dark and dreary day....

Re: Time for a new story...
 

I thought, " I sure could use a new coach bag, coach wallet and some coach shoes would be nice", however reality set in and I realized that.............

it might be better to be responsible, since my student loans were three months past due.

As i continued down the street, i quickly stuffed the money in my purse - then i heard someone yell..

..."You dirty THIEF, put my wallet down!!!"

As I began to RUN in the opposite direction, I bumped into...

my old roommate who was about to get into a car I ask her for a ride....

the heffa asked me for gas money.:eek: I flashed her a ten spot . . .

I jumped in and she asked "what the hell are you running from!?!"

I retorted, "WHY are you in my bizness?"

She said " Cuz you in MY ride ......What's in MY ride is my BIZness if you don't like it then............

you can get on out and KEEP RUNNING...
So ANYway what ARE you running from?"

Guuuuuuuuurl see what had happened was, I was walking down the street tripping because Little Man had told me that Shaquan told him that I was cheating on him. So I was feeling sad because you know I love my boo. He is just sooooo good to me and he even got this tattoo of my name on his chest and I have his name tattooed on mine. So I was walking up the sKREET right and my foot hit this thing and I saw it was a wallet and I thought that this is my LUCKY DAY :D

Then the next thing I know Rae Rae and nem chasing after me talking some smack about the wallet I dang near tripped over. Then you rolled up...I hopped in and now where we about to roll to?

shooottttttt gurrrrrrrllll, you got the loot! We's about to take it over to the northside and go on a shopping spree. I shole could use a new Fenni (Fendi) bag. Girl, you know the Maxwell concert is Saturday. Oh, by the way, we could get our nails done, feet, and hair did. (LOL)

Just then, I turned and looked at this crazy heffa and told her to...

BAAAAAACK UP!! This is my money. See this is just like folks, you ain't seen me since last year when we was on Judge Judy and now because I am having some good fortunes, you want to roll wit a Sista.:mad:

I tol' dat BINCH to stop the car and let me out, hell, SHE MADE ME GIVE HER GAS MONEY, but she wanna spend da loot like dat...

We ain't e'en cool no mo'....

But ANYways, so I get outta the car, and standing before me is Mr. FOINE himself ....

MORRIS CHESTNUT!! Then I KNEW it was a dream. I woke up shakin' my head and realized that..

Yayyy!! I knew someone was going to say Morris!! but anyway....
 

I was late for class... about 3 hours. I jumped in the shower and brushed my teeth -- remembering the night before when...

I was at the club for ladies night looking sooo fresh and clean when my ex-boyfriend came in with his new girlfriend:mad: .....

So I walked up to them and said...

Uhn uh, you must have lost your mind, how are you going to bring my old roomate up here with you, you couldn't find anyone that I don't know? (To my roomate) And you can't find anything but my leftovers? She just looked at me and said.......

"Whateva!" :rolleyes: "You need to stop trippin', cuz you was just a part time job!"

So I took off my earings and broke out the Vaseline :mad: and the heffa had the nerve to say "Wha? I ain' even scurred!" I ...

said, " BINCH, You betta be scared cause I'm 'bout to whoop yo' azz!!!!!!!!!!!!" Just then I turned around and..............

Completely forgot about her broke down azz, cuz in front of me stood a masterpiece from God. He stuck out his hand and said, "Excuse me, but..."

. . . do you have any Grey Poupon. ":p I looked at him like he was a plumb fool, but smiled anyway at his humor. "Hey pretty lady, I noticed you from across the room but was afraid to approach you so I figured I would try to make you smile. Did it work?" I smiled and said, . . . "

"Yes you did with your fine azz and you also saved this heffa from making me kick her.....

...in the throat! So he extended his arm, i took hold, and we walked to the dance floor. We were moving together with the music when the DJ took it waaaaaaaay back and played...

I wanna be your man by ZAP and ROGER. We was bumping and grinding like nobody's business until...,

... that Binch said "What are you doin' with my cousin's sister's baby's daddy? Do you know he is five months late with his child support and shun't
even be in no club?"

So, I asked him "How you e'en gon' be tryin' to be late wit some baby's chil' suppot an you in here with goocchie pants, fasacchie shirt, parada shoes and a rolek watch on?????"

then I remembered that I still had to get to class

since I am study to be a cosematologic, err, uhh, cosmephrology, dayum, girl i am gon do HUHR for a living. Today we are studying how to accentuate them no hair having chicks with hair weaves and stuh.

Just yestaday I had did dis girl's huhr in this bomb weave. It was green and yellow, and in the shape of a...

PYRAMID with waterfalls.. Crenipha said, "Guuuuuurl this is gon look good when I go visit Junior @ jail. You know that Alicia Keys' video, Fallin, giiiiirl that is me going to visit Junior's azzzz."

Fa reeeaallll, gurlll, I thoud thad had looket like you, oh my goodness, I am trippen off a dat, I love that song, Ima play that at my wedding girl, you know that I was in......

jail once, too. that mess ain't no joke, neither. I was in for . . .

cuttin my baby's daddy cause he was messin with my bestfriend's sister. I tried to warn that fool that I ain't no punk but he did not want to listen. I hid the box cutter............

Inside of my basket weave underneath some jollyranchers, you know how my aunties-baby-daddies-neighborsfriends goddaughter loves candy, so I just put them in my basketweave so they can just reach in it and gid some candies, wait what was I talkin bout gurl, oh yeah, so that ni&&a tried to act a fool so I cutted ed him wit my box cutter, I missed the first time but I was like Aaliyah gurl rest in peace Dust yourself of and try again and I did that's why I went to jail and stuff. Anyways girl now he's trying to take me on Judge Judy so he can....

try to get me fo all that money he paid gettin my car fixt. I told him that I wadn't gi'inem jack. It was a gif. So he said.........