I'll Knock the Black Off You!!!
 

I know that I'm not the only one who heard this as a child growing up. What other phrases did your parents use to threaten you?




Girl, you suck them teeth again and I'll knock 'em down your throat!

Stick those lips out again and I'm snatchin' 'em off your face!

I'ma beat ya behind all the way to East Jabip! (where :confused: )

Make me tell you again and we gon' be on the evenin news!

Roll them eyes one more time and I'ma knock into the back a ya head!

(You can see that I had quite the attitude as a child/preteen and my mother did not play like that)

Girl, If you say one more thing smart, I'll smack the taste out of your mouth.

Roll your eyes one more time and you will be picking them up off the floor.

I'ma beat you until the sun goes down (or comes up, depending on what time a day).

Don't you ever stomp off from me b/c I'll break your legs at the knee.

Girl, this one was like national anthem.

This one made me not wanna talk again.

I hated this one!

Shut up before I give you something to cry for. (Don't you think I would shut up if you quit hitting me, DANG).

...and this one

Oh you think its funny? Girl I'll slap that smile upside down.

When I was younger, I got a lick for every word that came out her mouth.

Boy my kids better hope they never need to be disciplined

Re: I'll Knock the Black Off You!!!
 

Star Jones talked about this on "The View" yesterday. She said her mama used to say I'll slap the black off of you. The topic came up because Bernie Mac was a guest on the show.

I'm trying to think of something different that I heard growing up. Everything I thought of has been said already. lol

Re: Re: I'll Knock the Black Off You!!!
 

That's where I got the idea from. I was so happy to see The View yesterday because I normally miss it.

hey!
 

Wait, umm....

Y'all got warning?

My Mom is Jamaican. Most of what she said to me I couldn't decipher, and I don't know that I would have wanted to, lol.

Who do you think you are talkin to? It must be that wall over there (looking around) :eek:



soror mommy was/is off the hook ;)

a little different then the other terms: my favorite is, that (food item) was so good, it made you wanna slap ya mama! now when you hear that, you know that was some good eatin':D

i will stick my foot dead up your a**

i brought you in this world and i will take you out

i see it's time for my belt and your a** to get to know each other again

for my west indian folks...

if yuh caan hear, den yuh muss feel pain

si yah pickney, dont look pan mi wid dat tone a vice

hard ears pickney ynam rock stone

nuh try nuttin, mi ave eyes eena di back a mi head

THE ULTIMATE
 

now i KNOW every single one of us has heard

I BROUGHT YOU IN THIS WORLD AND I'LL TAKE YOU OUT!!!

to this day i'm in shock because it is true....trust me. my mom has tried

"Suck your teeth at me again and I'll knock 'em down your throat!"

"I'mma beat your little narrow/red/ hard headed/smart-mouthed (whatever particular name she felt like calling me that day) behind!"

"I'mma knock you upside your head!"

i'll snatch a kink in you narrow behind..

I will pinch a piece outa you.....

You think you so damn grown GHETTOUT!!!!

Lord Help Me IMMA half kill this girl

Wait til you father come home

Next Time you decide to come home late....don't

You aint too cute to get beat in front of your friends!!

OH you want to show off huh! (YIKES!!!!!!!!) (followed by several lashes from the strap)

Dont let ya mouth write a check ya butt can't cash!!!!

Keep talking under ya breathe

Oh! you think you slick Tell that lil _ don't call hear no more!

I heard you was showin off in church (huh?:eek:butiaintdonuthin!)

MomPepsi:I don't give a da_n who gonna be there! I'm not they momma
I'm YOURS!
CP:(shegetonmydaggonenerves) )
MP:WHAT U SAY?!?! Say it louder so I knock the hell out of you....
CP:I aint even say nothin'
CP:Icallubackshebuggin'

last but not least......GO OUTSIDE AND GET ME A SWITCH!!!!!!!! (Yeah Right! ...I bring back a twig, my dad brings in a branch)exit stage left

I have others but I think yall get the point

LOVE YOU MOM AND DAD!:D

WOOOWW!! LOL I've heard these three many times before...

Whenever I had an outburst, Mom would say to me:

Hold up! This ain't the d*mn Brady Bunch. We a black family and I'll...

Or...

My grandmother once said, "Boy, I'll knock the cowboy s[no]t outta you."

More later.

RM

this has happened too much.... :D

the phrase the Big MaMaBuddha would say to me and my brother was


if ya'll don't sit ya'll tails down somewhere....i'mma fram ya ass into the wall.

she would have me and my brother shook when she said this...then we would try to figure what the hell FRAM meant. to this day we don't know...but it sounded like it hurt what ever it was.

S_S You ever had to ease past your mom or dad when they had a strap in they hand???? Talkin about Get in Here!!!??

You ever see ya friend get a beating then YOUR moms start frontin' talkin about You next!! If You don't______!!

ulike..WT_ what I do??? :confused:

I'm from the south (South Carolina) so I've heard it ALL. I tell my clients and my children that my momma "wasn't no joke". She was full of fire and she was very consistent with her discipline. Heck, I got beatings until I was 17-years-old (with the extension cord during my teen years). But here are some things that my mom would say. I find them really funny now, but they sure weren't funny then.

GIRL, IF YOU DON'T STOP, THEY GONE HAVETO CALL THE POLICE FOR ME AND THE FUNERAL HOME FOR YOU.;

ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR (and you KNOW that you wanted to say yes---now THIS should be a classic).;

I AIN'T GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH ______. YOU MY CHILD AND YOU GONE DO WHAT I TELL YOU TO DO.;

YOU AIN'T GOT NO ROOM. ALL THE ROOMS IN THIS HOUSE ARE MINE.;

I'M GONE BE ALL OVER YOU LIKE WHITE ON RICE.;

DON'T DO WHAT I SAID, DO WHAT I SAY (WTF?);

WELL, IF YOU CAN'T FOLLOW MY RULES, YOU CAN LEAVE. AND LEAVE WITH EVERYTHING THAT YOU BROUGHT.;

I'M GONE CHANGE MY NAME FROM "MAMA" TO SOMETHING ELSE (this is after I've called her over and over and over again).;

I'M GETTING SICK AND TIRED OF TALKING TO YOU. THE TALKING IS OVER----GET THE BELT (or whatever "weapon" that she would choose).;

Oh there are many, many more, but I just can't think right now.

This isn't a reprimand per se, but I thought it was noteworthy to mention:

My mom and grandma would say, "I ain't stuttin' SoAndSo."

Example:

RM: The cable company called and said if you don't pay the bill, they're gonna cut off the cable."

Mom: I ain't stuttin' the cable company or their money.

Well, this is noteworthy b/c I started using the term, but I always said, "I ain't STUTTERIN' what SoAndSo said about me" b/c that's what I thought Mom was trying to say.

I spent the next 10-15 years misusing the term, and when Mom set the record straight, I continued to say "stutterin". Practice makes perfect.

Has anyone here ever used that expression?

RM

LOLOLOL!!!
 

Your Mom was wrong for telling you that you don't have a room...LOL...My Mom tries to pull that crap, but she knows I ain't haven't it (don't ever tell her I said this though...I will deny it ;))

I was quite a smart mouth in my teenage years. I would have probably said "You always change the story around"--then my Mom would have proceeded to snatch me up by the collar (or hair, whichever was readily available...). I eventually learned better...;)

Oh, the memories...

Originally posted by korkscru

this is indeed a classic.

then she would go into the long lecture saying... if _______ jumped off a bridge, would you follow too?

then she would surprise you with the "you ain't even brought nuthin, cause i gave you everything you ever needed!!"

it was a no-win situation.

Sugar_N_Spice and MaMaBuddha, yall think THAT was bad, check this out. I remember saying this to my mom. Keep in mind that I'm about 16-years-old, the 2nd of 4 children (3 girls and one boy) and I'm saying this while I'm crying my eyes out and MY emotions are very high. This was on one occasion when my mother would not allow me to go somewhere. Also keep in mind that my mother would have this BLANK expression (no smile, no frown, no NOTHING) on her face whenever I would try to appeal to her "softer" side (or in other words MANIPULATE her). :) :)


"YOU LOVE TINA BECAUSE SHE'S THE OLDEST. YOU LOVE JR BECAUSE HE'S THE ONLY BOY. AND YOU LOVE KEN BECAUSE SHE'S THE BABY. SO WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE ME?".

Sisterfriends, my mother immediately nipped that mess right in the bud. After a little contemplation, she calmly looked at me and said,

"IN THE MIDDLE. NOW, GET OUTTA MY FACE WITH THAT WHITE-GIRL MESS BEFORE I KNOCK YOU DOWN. DON'T EVEN TRY TO COME TO ME WITH THAT."

Now yall can imagine how fast my jaw dropped to the floor. I just KNEW that she would give in once I said that. But she wasn't even hearing that. My mother was NOT the one that you would try to manipulate. She would always say "YOU CAN'T FOOL THE FOOLER. AND YOU CAN'T SH*T THE SH*TTER". I KNEW that I was loved (MOST of the time :) :) ) and SHE knew that I knew that I was loved. But I guess that it was all a part of the teenage GAMES that we play with our parents. I'm already looking for my daughter and son to go that route when they become teenagers. :) :) :)

ROTFLMBO!!!!!
 

Oh my gosh, you're Mom is worse than mine...
All I can say is "DAYUM!!!"...

Oh, I have heard these enough for six lifetimes !!!!

My mom had a few variations though

"We about to be on the front page of the mornin paper, me in handcuffs and you on the ground."

"That may be your room but it's in MY house."

"I'll be all over you like a cheap suit'

"Do what I say and not as I do"

"Keep on cryin and I'ma give you something to cry about."
I didn't understand this one til about I was about 14. You're gonna give me something to cry about??? I thought you just did otherwise, I wouldn't be cryin right now.

My mother would also call me by my sisters' names and get mad when I didn't answer her. When I said "but, mom you ain't even call my name," she would say "you know who you are!!"

YALL CRAZY LOOOOOOOL!!!

NO remember when yall parents aint want you to punk out from a bully. Now my dad he didnt want me to fight,but my moms was like the next time you come in here crying, YOU GONNA HAVE TO FIGHT ME????(yipes:eek: ) NOW MAKE YA CHOICE!!!! :mad:

Needless to say I didnt want to fight my mom, so guess who got it

You ever get a beating from a neighbor and you go thinkin to yaself its all good Imma tell my momma. Ya dumba__ get anotha beatin! followed by a YOU PROBABLY DESERVED IT!!!!!!!!(wtbloodclot?)

Yall ever get beat with a Hot Wheels track lol

Top 5 Sho' Nuff Beatdowns

1. Showin' ya butt in the department store (any store)
2. Stompin up the steps or Slammin any doors (to let everbody know you mad. MOMS dont G. A. F.)
3. Doin nasty cheers in the street(Dont act like you dont know what I am talkin bout)
4.Ya parents have to leave work cuz you messin up in school
5.Embarrasing your parents in front of company

I just thought of 5 I m sure yall can think of more!!!:)

No CherryPepsi, not a hotwheel track. How's about...THE EXTENSION CORD?!!! Yeah, that's right, THE EXTENSION CORD was my mother's buddy. She could swing that thing like never before. Here are some other scenerio yall.

YOU MISS YOUR CURFEW BY...LET'S SAY 30 MINUTES TO AN HOUR AND YOUR MOTHER...LOCKS YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE. You haveto stay on the porch (IN THE FREAKING COLD) until your mother decides that she wants to let you in. And THEN...you get a beat down ANNNDDD put on restriction after she does that. Now how ya like DEM apples? :D :D OR....

YOU'RE ABOUT 21-YEARS-OLD, YOU'RE HOME FROM COLLEGE AND YOU SSLLIPPP AND SAY ONE CURSE WORD (like d*mn) IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER (WHILE SHE'S DRIVING) BECAUSE YOU JUST SAW AN EX-BOYFRIEND THAT YOU HADN'T SEEN IN YEARS. YOUR MOTHER ALL OF SUDDEN...BACK HANDS YOU IN THE MOUTH RIGHT AT THE STOP SIGN IN FRONT OF YOUR EX...AND THE PEOPLE THAT HE'S WITH. :D :D OR...

AS PUNISHMENT FOR SOMETHING THAT...YOUR SISTER...DID, YOUR MOM TAKES AALLL OF THE PHONES OUT OF THE HOUSE AND PUTS THEM IN THE TRUNK OF HER CAR WHILE SHE'S AT WORK. :D :D OR...

YOU MAKE, 2 WEEKS AHEAD OF TIME, ARRANGEMENTS TO GO SOMEWHERE WITHOUT ASKING YOUR MOTHER. SHE SAYS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ALTHOUGH SHE HEARS YOU TALKING TO YOUR FRIENDS ON THE PHONE ABOUT IT. ON THE NIGHT THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GO OUT, YOUR MOTHER LET'S YOU TAKE YOUR BATH, DO YOUR HAIR, AND EVEN PUT ON YOUR OUTFIT. SHE SAYS NOTHING DURING THE TIME THAT YOU'RE WAITING FOR YOUR RIDE TO COME PICK YOU UP. AS SOON AS YOUR RIDE GETS THERE AND BLOWS THE HORN, SHE ASKS "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? YOU NEVER ASKED ME ONE THING AND I SURE DIDN'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO GO ANYWHERE." :D :D

I'm telling yall, my mother WASN'T NO JOKE. These things ACTUALLY happened to me, specifically during my teen years. Can ANYBODY beat that? I bet you guys are saying that I was like in a prison or something. And get this yall, IT SURELY FELT LIKE IT!! :D :D

Now that I'm grown with kids of my own, I can appreciate my mother's stern and consistent (although a little EXTREME in my then "teenaged" eyes) disciplinary actions. I think that they CERTAINLY were a MAIN factor in making me the person that I am today. My mother and I are now very, very close friends. That's right, I can NOW call her FRIEND because when I was under HER roof she would say "I AIN'T YOUR FRIEND AND I REALLY DON'T CARE IF YOU LIKE ME OR NOT. WE CAN BE FRIENDS WHEN YOU GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND ON YOUR OWN. BUT UNTIL THEN, I'M YOUR MAMA AND YOU GONE STAY IN A CHILD'S PLACE". She would also say "YOU GONE BE SOMEBODY EVEN IF I HAVETO KILL YOU TO DO IT."

I love my mother. She's a GREAT person who did what she had to do in order to raise her kids the right way.

WOOOOW!!! I remember having to do thi in the 5th grade b/c this girl in my class was bullying me...Well, y'all know the rest of the story...From then on out, I let NO ONE bully me!!!

OOOOOH, I Just Remembered...
 

I know some of ya'll have heard this one before:
Me: This is child-abuse...I'm gonna call the police!
My Mom: Go ahead...Better yet, I'll call them for you!!

Also, once my Mom told me that she was tired of me acting up (this was when I was about 12 or 13--I was a bad thing back then!!) so she was going to give me up for adoption or send me to a juvenile center!!! Y'all, I was SO SCUUUURRRED!!! No joke...She even took out the yellow pages, and proceeded to dial numerious numbers...I just went in my room and cried...:(

Let me tell you, one morning I was acting up at breakfast, and my mother beat me with a spatula. The very same spatula that she was cooking with so it had hot grease on it which burned my butt as she beat me. Then this same woman, rinsed it off in the sink and went back to turning pancakes.

One time, I tried to sneak in my house at 4:00 in the morning. I came in and walked by her bedroom really quietly. She didn't say anything so I thought she was sleep and that I had gotten away with it. Oh no. She ain't that dumb. That lady was wide awake and looking at her clock as I was coming in. The next morning I tried to act like everything was normal. She said in the calmest voice that I have ever heard "Your little a$$ thinks you slick. I know what time you came in last night and for that you won't be going out for until the end of the year." It was August!!! I wanted to just fall out on the floor right there.

Another time, I was planning to go to a party and then stay out real late with my friends. So, I told my mom that I was staying the night over my friends house. She let me get reaady, do my hair, get dressed, and even leave. She waited until she knew that we were about to leave my friends house and then called over there and told my friend's mother that I did not have her permission to go anywhere. She said to be waiting outside because she was on her way to get me.

I love my mother to death now. But, when I was younger I couldn't stand her. I just knew that lady was crazy because only a crazy woman would come up with half of the things she did.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by ClassyLady
[B]



Let me tell you, one morning I was acting up at breakfast, and my mother beat me with a spatula. The very same spatula that she was cooking with so it had hot grease on it which burned my butt as she beat me. Then this same woman, rinsed it off in the sink and went back to turning pancakes.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!
I m sorry I'm just imagin your mom goin back to the stove hummin and makin pancakes (she probably talkin on the phone too) right after she gave you a beatin and you over there cryin LOOOL LOOOOOOOOL!!!

Yeah I am at work bored...searching old threads!

I came across this one, ya'll my eyes are red, and I am crying from laughing at these posts! I have stories, but I can't even tell them right now. OMG I wish ya'll knew how hard I am laughing, especially at the previous one about the spatula!

LOL doesn't explain it! I am glad I don't have any patients!

Here is the one thing that my mother STILL says to me to this day:

"You're not too big to get your ass beat"

AND

"Don't make me knock you down to my size"

This is because I've been taller than my mom since I was like 11, and thought that would be the end of her evil reign. Boy, was I wrong!

"I brought you in this world and i will take you out"

"I'll knock you into next week"

"Don't you ever, as long as you're black....."

"Don't make me whoop you w/ your BOTO BAT" (and she did)

I had a SMART mouth when I was younger (no, really ;) ), anyway, one day...I can't remember what it was that my mom did, but I felt like she'd invaded my privacy. I said something like "But why you do that, it's was my business!" My mom said, "Girl this is my house, and as long as you live here, you ain't got no business"

That's right along the lines as:

As long as your in my house you will live by my rules

Or when I was about to get a beating and I would say "Ma, my stomach hurts!" She would say "Well you should've thought about that before!"

My mother only cursed at me once, that is when she found out I was having sex (I won't say how old I was ;) ), but even then it was "Well, I'll be damned...OOH, Lord forgive my language!"

I have some more stories, but I am getting tired/lazy, haven't been to sleep since yesterday afternoon...I'll be back.

lol
 

"alright now....you cruising for a bruising"

"try me if you want...you'd rather stick your hand in a rattlesnakes nest than to tangle with me":eek:

"I don't care how yo friends parents raise them..after I get through wipping your arse, take your butt upstairs and take a good look at your birth certificate...you might see a familiar name in the space for mother!":mad: (she use to piss me off with that...like I didn't know she was mom!! lol)

"Boy, you ain't got the sense GOD promised the fool!" I use to wonder, what fool is she talking about?

"Boy, I'ma knock yo arse to zero":eek: Meaning, no matter how old you were, she'd still kick that tail!

"I don't care what yo daddy say...I'M yo momma" as if I didn't know.

I love my mom:) Just had an eventful weekend with her in Tallahassee.

Since I just left home for school 8 months ago, these are still familiar to me
"You're not the brightest crayon in the box are you?"
" Don't write a check that your behind can't cash:D !(I hated that one)
" This hurts me more than it does you"( then why are you doing it?":(

My mother has said a lot of the things that you all have posted on here already, but what use to KILL me was when my mother said this:

"I'm not mad, I'm disappointed."