Question about invite night
 

I am currently participating in rush week. I had house night on monday and wednesday and tonight is invite night. I have been invited by 4 different fraternities for invite night, and it takes place from 7 pm to 11 pm. That being said, do you think I will have enough time to adequately spend time with all 4 of these fraternities?

2 of the fraternities I really like a lot, 1 of them I like pretty well, and the other one is just so so. I am very new to this process and would like some recommendations. This is the first semester I have rushed. Thanks for all of your help. I really appreciate it.

I think I'm going to spend most of my time with 3, and make a brief appearance with the last one. As of now, I have been invited to 5. Is it rude or unprofessional to text and decline an invitation?

I don't really feel like going to 1 and the other one I don't see myself being a part of but they formally invited me in person and I would feel bad if I didnt go. I really want to go to the other 3. I have to go really soon and getting dressed to go shortly. Help would be appreciated.

You have to realize you aren't going to get terribly much help because most of us didn't participate in a rush system that is as organized as yours seems to be. However I personally, with no experience in this type of rush, would just split the time between the 2 you want the most.

I would go to the two you like a lot IF you can be honest with yourself and see that you have a shot there. How have the guys in these houses been compared to the others? Do you really fit in, or do you want to fit in (if you catch my drift). Fraternity rush can be tricky because it is much easier to focus in on one house even if they don't really have any intention of bidding you at the end. If you feel that these houses have shown some signs that they really like you, and you in turn really like them, then go for those two. If not and they might be a "stretch" house, then string along a safety house.

Good luck!

Do you know what other men in your situation are planning to do? Is splitting time amongst fraternities normal? DTD Alum gives good advice...but I would limit it to 3, not four chapters if it were me.

As far as declining an invitation, you should do it by whatever means the invitation was issued. So, if they left you a voicemail, you have to call them back. If they e-mailed, you can do that.

Thanks for the help everyone. I just got back. I spent 1.5 hours at one fraternity, to be told after all the interviews were done, that I didn't make the cut. There is another fraternity that I know pretty much every guy in there and feel really connected to and I felt good in their interview, but won't know tomorrow until bid day.

I did another interview with a different fraternity after that, who seems to like me a lot too. With most of these fraternities, as soon as the interview was done, we were told to leave and we would get our results tomorrow, so that saved a lot of time, and I was able to go to many houses.

Well good luck, let us know how it goes.

Sure thing. My school is currently shut down due to snow and a possible winter storm, so I have to wait to know about my bids, because IFC isn't operating right now.

Did you rank them? Or can you receive more than one bid? I'm very intrigued by men having formal rush.

You can receive more than one bid, but you don't rank them. You just get the bid cards from the fraternities that want you and you choose one bid. As soon as you choose one bid, you automatically reject all other bids. My IFC and our bid day got post poned till tomorrow due to bad weather, but I believe you call the number on the back of the card to confirm which bid you accepted.

How it works at my school is this. All of the guys interested in rushing a fraternity have to attend a formal rush, which costs $50 to attend. You listen to a short speech, then they place you into groups, and you attend every single fraternity, which are located in different rooms of a building they use. They each give a presentation with a slideshow and try to convince you to rush their fraternity. At the end of the presentation you meet with some of the actives of that fraternity, then you go to the next group and repeat the process. We have lots of fraternities at my school, so it took about 4 hours for the entire formal rush to end.

After formal rush, there are house nights the following week on monday and wednesday. These are very casual and laid back. It is optional to attend these and you meet more actives, eat free food, and get to know the fraternity and the members better. On thursday it is "invite night", where the fraternities that liked you invite you back to their fraternity house for a formal interview. Everyone is required to dress full business attire or business casual depending on the fraternity and an interview takes place.

After your interview, you are escorted out of the house, and the group sometimes votes on you immediately after your interview, or watch the taped interviews one by one after all the interviews have taken place, and vote then. On Friday is "bid day", where you receive bids from the fraternities that voted on you. A bid is not guaranteed and some require a majority vote, while most require a unanimous decision.

Today was supposed to be my bid day, but due to snow and an ice storm, it got post poned to tomorrow, so I won't know which fraternities gave me bid cards till tomorrow. I hope that gave you a little idea of how fraternities work, DeltaBetaBaby. I'm sure fraternities and IFC's from other schools are run differently, but my school has a huge greek life, so it is very formal in order to accomodate the mass amount of people that rush each semester.

Thanks for the info!

It seems kinda shitty that one house kept you around for an hour and a half. Did they make you wait around while they conferred or something? Or was the interview that long?

Np. When I arrived at the fraternity house, their house was pitch black, besides a few backup lights they had. They tried waiting for the power to turn back on, but after 1 hour of waiting, they decided to just interview us 1 by 1 using spot lights that they happened to have.

That sucks you have to wait until tomorrow.

Good luck, Revivia.

Yeah, I know. Thanks a lot for all of the help. I have a quick question for you guys. I am currently waiting for bid decisions from 3 fraternities. They will be called:

1) Alpha
2) Bravo
3) Charlie

Alpha texted me today that I have received a bid with them and to pick up the bid card tomorrow during bid day. Bravo told me I will have to wait till tomorrow to know the results of their decision on whether I got a bid from them or not. Charlie told me I got a bid, and that for some reason that they didnt tell me about, that I would have to make my decision today, because they are going to have their own bid day tonight and aren't able to move it till tomorrow. I'm still undecided as to what to do, because IFC has told us that bid day is from 12 to 3 pm tomorrow, and its weird that Charlie being a fraternity of IFC, is having their own bid day thing today.

I like Charlie, but I want to wait on Bravo's decision to see if I got a bid card from them or not, which I will have to wait till tomorrow to find out. It seems a little weird that only Charlie is making me make my decision today, while the other 2 are letting me decide on bid day tomorrow. If I pick Charlie today, I automatically reject Alpha and Bravo, and I would really like to wait till tomorrow to decide to make my final and very important decision for which fraternity I will spend the rest of my life with. Has anyone else had issue like this before or can associate with my dilemna? What do you guys and ladies think? Thanks.

Just to be clear, only one fraternity is letting you decide on tomorrow. (You don't know if Bravo has chosen you)

One fraternity has told you that you made it and that you're allowed to wait to decide.

The other has told you that you made it and you need to decide NOW.

If I were you, I would decide if the one who is making you decide NOW (Charlie) is your favorite one. If it is, choose them.

If Alpha is your favorite, then wait until tomorrow, choose them, and decline Charlie.

If Bravo is your favorite but you're willing to go Alpha, then decline Charlie, wait for Bravo's response, then choose Bravo if they choose you, or choose Alpha if Bravo doesn't.

That's what I would do if I were you, or how I'd advise my son if I had one.

If you don't know which of the three you actually prefer, then I don't know what to tell you.

Take Senusret's advice. That seems like the most logical way to decide to me, too.

Thanks a lot Senusret. That made my decision a whole letter easier. I am going with the last option, because Bravo is my favorite one, and I am definately willing to go Alpha if Bravo doesn't accept me, because both of them are a great group of guys. I guess I'm going to have to decline Charlie. The guys in Charlie are good guys, but I only met them during formal rush and one house night. I didn't really get a chance to bond with them, because of time constraints.

Charlie is very professional and the members are known as gentlemen on campus, have good morals, standards, ethics, codes, etc, but once again I didnt really get time to bond with them. Both Alpha and Bravo on the other hand I have spent a lot of time with and really know the guys in there. I feel bad having to decline Charlie : (

Don't. It's best to go where you feel most comfortable, and they know that. If you're a better fit at either Alpha or Bravo, that's where you need to go.

To be honest, I feel the most comfortable and at home with Alpha and Bravo and I feel like part of a family with both of them. Although Bravo is my first choice, I would love to be a part of Alpha if Bravo didn't give me a bid. I consider them my friends right now, even though I am not associated with either of the fraternities at the moment.

You seem to have a level head and a good attitude!

In addition to what Alumiyum said, having a fraternity tell me I had to accept a bid before I was able to look over all of my options would seem shiesty to me, and I would guess that it could hurt them in the end.

Thanks a lot Gusteau. I asked him in a nice way to explain his reasoning as to why they are making me decide today, instead of waiting for the actual "bid day" tomorrow. He politely told me that since the actual bid day was planned for today, they have all of their party/event things with the new incoming members planned for today, and they can't move it tomorrow.

I'm going to be honest, here...it sounds like Bravo is not going to give you a bid. If you didn't get into bravo, and it was between Alpha and Charlie, which would you choose?

Co-sign. One group on my campus did this one year, saying if you don't accept the bid today you won't get one from us. This led to some guys thinking they wouldn't get bids from other groups and accepting because they wanted to go Greek. Quite a few of the guys ended up dropping or going inactive shortly after initiation.

What do you mean by co-signing? If Bravo doesn't accept me, then I am definately going Alpha for sure. I already made up my mind that I am not going Charlie. I just came back from spending time at one of the Charlie brother's house, and I felt somewhat comfortable, but felt that I had to make an effort in order to engage some of the brothers. Btw, why don't you think Bravo isn't going to accept me? I'm just curious.

Well, I obviously don't know the whole situation, because now that I re-read, it sounds like Bravo hasn't handed out bids at all. I first read it like other people had their bids from Bravo already.

No, haha. Bravo hasn't told anyone about their bid situation as far as I am aware. Everyone wanting to go Bravo, has to wait till tomorrow to find out.

I just texted Charlie my decision to decline the bid, so that is final, and now I just have to wait till tomorrow. I'll announce whether I pick Alpha or Bravo, and the real fraternity name of the particular one I choose. Thanks for the help so far everyone. : )

Good luck.

I think this was my favorite Rush thread (girls and guys) of this school year. Short and to the point, as well as honest and thought-out, without being overly dramatic.

I'm not going to go to the extent of saying either Alpha or Bravo is lucky to have you, because I don't actually know you and you could still be a goober (;)), but have a great pledge period whoever gets you!:D

-AF

Thanks a lot AlphaFrog for the compliment. I went to the IFC office to pick up my bid a moment ago. It turns out that Bravo didn't even have any of their bid cards at all so I wasn't sure if I got a bid with them or not. I called the former president of last semester, and he told me that they haven't delivered the bid cards yet, but called up everyone in advance that received a bid.

At that point I knew I didn't receive a bid from him and he told me I'm a really great guy and he hopes to see me out again next semester. I told him thanks for everything and that I'll still remain close friends with him and his fraternity. I chose Alpha, and in the end after contemplating everything, I think Alpha was the best and right choice/fit for me.

I'm very glad to join a fraternity with an awesome group of guys, actives and pledges included. There are many level headed guys in my fraternity that although they do party, they also have lots of other things going for them in life and strive to achieve good grades.


Alpha = Sigma Tau Gamma. I believe that everything in life happens for a reason, and there was a reason I ended up being a Sigma Tau Gamma. I'm very excited about pledgeship, and continuing to be a contributing member while an active in the future, and as a fellow alumni after graduation.

I hold no regrets, bitterness, etc. towards any of the other fraternities that either didn't choose me, or vice versa. I will remain friends with all of the people and fraternities I met, because Greek life is so small compared to the school population, so its important for both sororities and fraternities to stick together.

I am happy about how everything came about, and just looking forward to the bright future ahead of me as well as my lifelong friends, brotherhood and family. Thanks everyone for reading this thread and helping me along the way from rushee to pledge. It was a very tiring and hectic couple of weeks from pre-rush events to formal rush, but it was all worth it in the end.

Congratulations!

Congratulations! This was a fun read. I found myself really wondering how things turned out. I'm glad you're happy with your choice.

Thanks ladies. :)

so glad you came back to let us in on your good news. congratulations!!!

Thanks a lot FSUZeta.

Congrats! It sounds like you'll make a great member.

congrats sunshine! i enjoyed reading your recruitment story.

Thanks a lot for all the support and help. Tonight is pledge celebration night, woot!!! I think its pretty much our last day of them going easy on us, haha.

Congratulations on Sigma Tau Gamma.