A Mad Men re-rushing story
 

This was my fall 2010 rushing story.

There are 9 houses going through formal recruitment.
Days 1&2: Convo Days
Day 3: House Tours
Day 4: Slideshow Day
Day 5: Preference/Bid Night

As a sophomore I do have friends in some of the houses, and my sister is currently an active for a sorority at a different university (making me NOT a legacy).

The houses are:
Peggy Olson
Joan Holloway
Rachel Menken
Bobbie Barrett
Trudy Campbell
Betty Draper
Jane Sterling
Dr. Faye Miller
Midge Daniels

I will preface with my backgrounds with some of the houses:
-My sister is a current Jane Sterling.
-Poor Peggy Olson is the only house that ever has to do COB. But there are very sweet girls here, and one girl from my hometown I saw over the summer.
-While I never knew too many Joan Holloways, I had a good feeling about this house because of its commitment to academics, athletics, and for having a fun but laidback personality. I know I'm not supposed to go into rush with any preconceptions but as a sophomore I know a little more than freshmen anyways. In any case, I wouldn't discount any other houses at all, but this was the one I had a good feeling about.

I'm pretty sure having an active sister does make you a legacy. Not that it matters now. And I could be wrong.

Convo Day 1: We saw 5 houses. 1000 or so girls went through rush this year, meaning pledge classes would be in the 60-70s! This year the RC's said that cuts after each round would be MASSIVE, which was different from what I remembered last year, when RC's said that almost all girls going through rush would get a bid (although it's the same that this year that if you go to pref, you will get a bid).

Peggy Olson: This was my first house and I had a good time here. The girls I talked to were very laid back and genuine. Unfortunately how it works with this house is since there aren't enough girls in the chapter they usually bring in other Peggy Olson's from nearby colleges to help out with rush. Difficulty is, I think most of the girls I talked to and enjoyed talking to were from a different school. I don't remember what we talked about too much but it was very laid back and I made the girls I was talking to laugh a lot.

Joan Holloway: I got along with the girls I talked to very well. There was no "OH MY GOD, me too!" kind of sudden revelation, but the conversations flowed very naturally and comfortably. We also talked about similar sports and everything. I didn't have to try to be much of anything talking to these girls. Leaving the house I didn't have a "wow, they love me and will ask me back" feeling, but I think that's because the girls are very mellow in general (like me) and won't fake overexcitement during rush.

Rachel Menken: I remember really liking this house last year, but I didn't have as much of a good time here this year. I was talking to a girl who just had this permanent expression of dislike on her face. It all depends on the girl you talk to though. Although, the next girl I talked to I remembered casting in a student film the year before and I was glad to see her, so as I went to shake her hand and was like, "Hey! It's soo good--" she said, "Nice to meet you, my name is ______." A little awkward, but I figured maybe during rush, girls are supposed to pretend they don't know you? (Although while walking out another girl I'm friends with tapped me on the shoulder and said hi.) And while walking out to the door it got to the point where we had nothing to say. She said, "so...what classes have you not gone to yet?" Now, I remember her from last year and she's a very, VERY sweet girl. But as a rush experience I can tell this house was not for me.

Bobbie Barrett: I was a little anxious for this house, because a formerly REALLY good friend (to the point where she desperately wanted me to rush, and put my name on a "girls to look out for next year" list last spring) is now my not-so-good friend. Thankfully another PNM is a friend of mine and her roommate last year was in this house, and her excitement turned my anxiety into also excitement to see all these girls I knew last year. The conversation flowed perfectly to another girl who looked familiar, and we had fun trying to figure out where we'd seen each other but we also had lots of things in common. The last girl ALSO looked really familiar, and it turned out we have the same major. I got to talk about how passionate I am about my major and she shared my sensibilities about it, and besides that she was an absolute sweetheart. My conversations felt very natural and flowed like with Joan Holloway BUT I also couldn't help but feel so excited to talk with these girls. I'm not someone who can fake being SO EXCITED, but in this case I floated out of the house.

Trudy Campbell: Last house of the day! My current roommates are all really good friends with a girl in this house who is super active with leadership and everything in this house. I don't know her AS well as my roommates (who also rushed), but she is very sweet and we get along. I didn't see her today though. In any case, it was pretty late by this time, and as one of the first girls to walk through the door, I was led towards the back of the house to a kind of mirrored alcove. Since I was one of the first in, at first it was pretty quiet and I managed to talk to this girl with probably the usual rush topics (I can't remember at this point). However, once more PNMs filed in, the sound of all the chatter literally reverberated off the walls. I hate to say it, but it seriously made the conversation painful. That being said, I was exhausted and I have a fairly quiet voice so straining myself over the din really drained me and left me physically weary after this house, which gave me a bad impression of the house overall.

Convo Day 2! The nice thing about rushing with all the girls you live with is getting rush outfits ready and appropriately spazzing out at the same times :)

Betty Draper It's a gorgeous house that feels very Southern to me. The girl I talked to was very sweet with a good sense of humor but also quieter like me. She asked me a lot of questions about my major and interests, and I did feel like for better or for worse I was carrying the conversation, but I think with this house that's what's supposed to happen since it seems like you don't talk to as many girls. Towards the end of the party, another girl joined us. I felt I had more in common with this second girl and wished I talked to her longer, but overall the conversation was...pleasant.

Jane Sterling My sister is a Jane Sterling at another school, but we are very very different in terms of pretty much everything. That being said, these two chapters of Jane Sterling are very different as well (I think my sister's is a colony, while my school has very longstanding, established chapters). So even though I am related to a Jane Sterling, I went in with a really open mind. Turned out I got along with these girls really really well. I don't remember the specifics of what I said with any of the girls but I just remember walking out the door very happy.

Dr. Faye Miller I was looking forward to this house because I have two good friends in this house and I know several girls through them who are very sweet, down to earth girls who still go out and have a good time. I had to drop out of rush last year because my mom wanted me to "get used to college" before joining a sorority and we don't have spring rush, but I remember last year I had THE best time at this house. Anyways, this time around I was super excited to walk in. The first girl I talked to...we didn't click. She was very quiet and the conversation was pretty forced. I was bummed because while I LOVED this house last year, it was so forced this year. Maybe I've just changed since last year.

(Later a Dr. Faye I'm friends with said there are some girls who join their house never show up for anything else except for recruitment, and usually those are the girls who aren't that good at rushing girls, which is a real shame.)

Midge Daniels The girls were very laid back and jokey, but also really cool. The first girl was a theatre major which is right up my alley. The next girl and I ended up talking about this project I worked on over the summer and she knows the guy I worked on the project with. It was overall pretty laidback but I know this is very sought after house that is very heavy on taking freshmen during rush, although I didn't stress over it. I think they enjoyed talking to a sophomore who already knew a lot about the Greek system and just our school in general.


At the end of the day I ranked the houses (the order of the first 6 technically don't matter, it's only the last 3 you wish to drop):
1 Bobbie Barrett
2 Jane Sterling
3 Joan Holloway
4 Midge Daniels
5 Betty Draper
6 Rachel Menken (Since this was my favorite house last year I figured I'd give it a shot)

7 Dr. Faye Miller (I liked this house more than Trudy Campbell last year, and although this year it was vice versa I still knew more girls in this house...I also figured as a soph I'd get dropped from a lot of the above houses so the order of 7-9 wasn't too important)
8 Trudy Campbell
9 Peggy Olson I feel like I hadn't ACTUALLY met the sisters, but just because I ranked them last doesn't mean I hated them. I didn't hate any of the houses really

I wish sororities would get a clue and quit doing this. I don't think anyone who's EVER written a rush story on GC got a positive impression from it. Better to have a giant group conversation with women who are actually IN the chapter, rather than import sisters from other schools just for the sake of bumping and one on one conversation. There are all sorts of different ways to rush and chapters that are smaller need to be given permission to think outside the box.

This is a perfect example. SC liked the girls, but has no idea if they were actually the women who will be her sisters for the rest of her college career...and because of that she ranked them last.

Yay!! I can't wait to read more :)

Exactly! I'd rather know sooner or later if a house is right for me--why misrepresent yourself the first round and go "well here's the real us" during the next round?

Although in this case, each girl's nametag had her name AND her chapter letters...but considering I didn't know which chapter our school's is...it frankly was all Greek to me! :p

If were being rushed somewhere with sisters from other chapters helping out, I'd wish they'd say which chapter they are from (and not just the letter designation because a lot of PNMs are already overwhelmed, why make it more confusing with more Greek letters to remember which is which?)

Anyways, interested to see the result. :)

I've always assumed that the reason struggling chapters bring in their sisters from nearby chapters is to minimize the stigma me being so small -- to "sell" the chapter to PNMs. As you've pointed out, that often backfires.

But now I'm wondering if they're also there to help in the selection process, to help identify girls who will be the biggest assets to the chapter as it's trying to rebuild. Sometimes struggling chapters make decisions (including MS?) that perpetuate a negative stereotype, but an external influence can help reverse that trend....? I'm not saying that the girls from other chapters get to vote in that chapter's MS process, but I hope (for the sake of the PNMs who spend the entire party chatting up a "bonus" sister from Nearby University) that they have some influence in the subsequent decisions!

Also... Go Joan Holloway!!

We had some girls from another chapter come one year, but they held trays of drinks and stuff like that. I think it was actually a campus PH rule that they can not actually talk to the PNM's. Basically, it was like "we don't have enough alums to show up and do this stuff, so another chapter is going to help us out".

I think there was a huge amount of tent talk about it, though.

This is on the same level as the chapter consultant coming in for rush and saying "OMG, look at Suzy's resume. She's gorgeous, great GPA, and what a sparkling personality! You need to give her a bid!!" What she doesn't know is Suzy has been making a tidy profit stripping at the Sugar Shack for the past 6 months and every guy you know is talking about her "special downward duck dance."

As with any sort of outside-the-chapter rush help, I would wager that if women from other chapters are allowed to put in their 2 cents during MS, how it's received depends on the spirit in which it's offered.

Sister from stellar chapter talked to Gina Gorgeous and made sure to try and introduce her to sisters of the struggling chapter because she thought she'd be an asset on many levels - good.

Sister from stellar chapter talked to GG, monopolized her throughout the party for of "exposing" her to struggling chapter sisters, and during MS said "THIS is the kind of sister you need to help this chapter" - bad.

Sister from stellar chapter talked to Pammy Plain, who happens to be funny, kind and intelligent, and during MS said "This girl is nice, but she's not XYZ material" - also bad.

My guess is that the OP is a legacy.

I went last year with some girls from my chapter (one of the stronger chapters, even nationally) to another chapter (which has great girls, but struggles compared to the other houses) to help during their recruitment, and we did pretty much the same stuff. The only time we were allowed to talk to PNMs was if we knew them from before; then we were allowed to briefly say hello. I don't think any of the girls told PNMs that the girls serving snacks, etc. were from another school though, so hopefully it didn't cause any negative tent talk.

This year they asked for girls to come and help again, and possibly actually rush PNMs. Personally this bothered me, because the girls in each chapter are totally different, and I don't like the idea that a PNM might join the chapter because of girls who won't be there after recruitment.

My advice would be, if you go to more rounds at that house, try to find out if the girl you're talking to is a member of your school's chapter. If she isn't, try to use the skit/video/whatever they use as your source of information, and don't let the fact that your "rusher" is from a different school make you feel poorly about that sorority.

You seem to have a great outlook on recruitment, and I wish you the best of luck! I hope you find the best sorority for you!

I got my schedule for House Tours bright and early the next day. Now the downside to living with girls that are also rushing: comparing schedules. It's the worst...especially when your best friend gets the sought after Midge Daniels but says that she'll be okay with Joan Holloway...but it'll "still be a significant 'drop,' you know?" :eek:

But no matter. The 4 of us are very different in terms of personality, so I know (and would prefer if) we won't end up in the same house.

Out of a possible 6 houses, I got a schedule of 4...not bad for a sophomore, my angelic RC tells me (she really is the nicest human being on the planet, cannot stress this enough. We got to chat during one of our breaks and she is just...the best!).

The houses I had were:
Trudy Campbell
Joan Holloway
Peggy Olson
Jane Sterling

I was pretty bummed out about Bobbie Barrett not asking me back. I guess when it came down to it, I didn't so much feel rejected by them or anything, but secretly I'd imagined that for some reason I'd be paired up with my now not-so-good friend for House Tours, at which point I could tell her I missed talking to her and that I had cherished our friendship. We actually had a class together but for starters, we weren't allowed to talk to sorority girls outside of recruitment, plus I didn't want her to think I wanted to patch things up just to get in her sorority! Bobbie Barrett or no Bobbie Barrett, I missed her. So that's the main reason I was bummed, and I was also half surprised, half not that I didn't "at least" get invited to House Tours. (On a side note, I'm still good friends with many other girls in that house and the girl that walked me to the door at the end of Convo Days :) so it was worth rushing just to meet her!) Besides that, I was excited to see all the beautiful houses!

House Tours are the first time you get to see the girls' "rush school" put into action. During Convo Days, the president, VP, and rush chair all walk out hand in hand, welcome us, then walk back into the house and then we all file in after them, and at the end of the party the girls silently fill the door and wave goodbye until someone shuts the door.

House Tours is when door chants come into play. I've seen them before but it was so cute to see the freshmen PNMs' reactions! Seriously, every single door chant is adorable (albeit a little crazy!). And every house is beautiful by the way! We truly have an amazing Greek system at this school. On top of that, every single girl is involved, smart, driven, and social, so there's really no losing whatever house you join (although rushing with 999 other involved, smart, etc. women is daunting too!).

The first house I visited was Trudy Campbell. I remembered I had a not-so-fabulous time, simply because of the mirrored room/reverberating girl-voices fiasco :p. All of my roommates got this house back, and we all kind of figured our super-involved Trudy Campbell was looking out for us during rush, which shows how sweet she is and how much she loves her house :). First off, let me say that this house has THE catchiest door chants, lawn dances, songs, etc. EVER. The house is beautiful. Oh my goodness. It's very sunlit and airy and easy to navigate. I managed to see our super-involved friend for the first time this semester and finally got to give her a hug! The first girl I was paired with showed me some of their rooms which were decorated beautifully (by the way, I'm positive EVERY sorority house has a room with the Audrey Hepburn picture in it :p). She was super nice and funny, and I'm glad I got another shot at this house, and that we didn't have to yell ourselves silly to hear each other! She introduced me to her big, who was on the executive board. She asked me what year I was, and she said that she rushed as a sophomore too (yet another side note: I frequently get paired up with seniors or girls that rushed as sophomores for some reason--I'm young for a sophomore, but I've been told I act very mature and confident?). She was very outgoing, confident, and interested in what I had to say as well as happy to answer any questions I had about the house. I saw the first girl I'd talked to during Convo Days, and I made sure to say hi and be excited to see her, because I wanted to make sure she knew that I did enjoy talking to her yesterday, I just had a hard time hearing! I had a really great time, was glad I met some executive board members, and was very grateful I had a second chance at this house.

Joan Holloway I was paired up with a senior who was very very nice. As I've noticed with some girls in this house, she was a bit on the quieter side in terms of personality but still interested, interesting, and inquisitive. We sat down for a bit and I could kind of tell I'd have to be the one to ask questions, but this turned out to be really nice because I learned a lot about the house. She'd studied abroad the semester before and visited a lot of countries in Europe that I'd been to years ago. I'm really interested in learning different languages and traveling, so we had so much to talk about! Finally another Joan Holloway had to walk in and tell us that the party was over and pretty much everyone else had already left! I really liked how this house's House Tour wasn't so much a "here's our pretty house, check it out!" because ALL of the houses at our school are straight up mansions anyways. The fact that the "house tour" was organized so that it was less on aesthetics and decorating and more on connecting with and talking longer with a girl than on Convo Days was really important to me. Also, their door chant at the end was really funny and sassy and showed that they were a down to earth, non-prissy house that still had a lot of house pride and love of sisterhood.

Peggy Olson I was paired up with a very quiet girl, perhaps bordering on awkward I hate to say. I don't mean this as any kind of insult at all, but more as a description since, hey, I consider myself very awkward, but we sat down on a couch and I felt like my talking must have turned into babbling, the way she looked almost...angry! at the fact that I was so talkative. (I am not talkative in the slightest, by the way.) I was feeling kind of bad/worried and then my Peggy Olson friend from my hometown walked by with her PNM. This was the first time I'd seen her all semester and I was so happy (....relieved? :() to see her, and so she and her PNM joined us at the couch. This meant that she and I ended up catching up a little bit about our mutual friends and the rest of our summers, and I tried to make it a group conversation, and my friend's PNM was chatty but the girl I was paired up with was very silent! After a little bit we parted ways to walk around the house, I went upstairs and saw some rooms that were spacious and sunlit. I ended up on the landing of the 2nd floor and talking with a girl who I believe is on the exec board. I got to be my jokey self which was great, and walking past one of the wall displays (every house has them with pics of their philanthropy, socials, etc.) I recognized one of my guy friends, wearing some kind of Superman-ish costume, and I said, "Oh my gosh it's ______! He would be shirtless!" which is nice because generally it's kind of awkward for me to be shown these wall displays because after a year I generally already know the deal about socials, exchanges, etc. So I did get a better chance to meet the actual girls in this chapter...the girl from exec was nice, but the girl I was paired up with for most of the tour did not click with me very well. Of course, it could just be one girl, but I think generally exec members are going to be elected for their social, outgoing qualities that mean they get along better with everyone they meet, and of course my friend and I have lots in common from just being from the same hometown. So would all the regular, non-exec girls in this house that I didn't already know from back home (so basically 99% of the house) be as offput by my outgoing (by comparison :confused:) personality? Since the next round, Slideshow, would be seeing "up to 4 houses," I knew I'd be able to find out more the next day, if the first girl didn't demand I get dropped! So far...it's not a good sign.

Jane Sterling I had a long break before this house so it was dusk by the time I got here. The house is drop dead gorgeous, probably my favorite (not biased because of my sister...although my sister's university doesn't have Greek housing so she's always jealous of this house!). Going to this house always makes me feel light as air...it's just very natural, laidback, chill, but fun. Along with Joan Holloway, they have that "tomboys who like to still dress up and look nice" kind of vibe, which I love. I've been inside their house before and always liked it, but I think last year I remember it being slightly old looking, guess they must have spruced it up because it looks even BETTER than it did before...and before it was gorgeous. The first girl I talked to was great, I felt like I was talking to an old high school friend or something. We went up to the second floor and we stopped by one of the smaller bedrooms, a girl was there and somehow we got to talking about a mutual friend. Then the first girl and I walked across to a 4 person bedroom which is ginormous and as we left the room I saw the picture on the door of the girls that lived in that room, and I recognized one of my friends that lived on the same floor as me last year. Downstairs I was introduced to another girl and immediately we both kind of looked at each other funny. "I know I've met you somewhere before...!" We both lived in the same building last year but on different floors, but we had some mutual friends and we had fun trying to figure out where on earth we'd seen each other. She was very laidback and so easy to talk to. When she walked me out the door we hugged, and I'm pretty sure I've hugged other girls that have walked me out the door but this just felt unforced, just like saying bye to any other real friend.

At the end of the day I knew that rankings didn't matter because I had 4 houses and could be invited back to 4, but in any case I ranked them:

Jane Sterling Maybe my sister and I would be SISTERS, too?
Joan Holloway The house that just makes me feel a "this is where I could be, dressed up to the 9s or rolling out of bed in weirdo pajamas" sense of peace.
Trudy Campbell Really the nicest second chance I've ever had.
Peggy Olson Only time will tell?

Nah, not really. One word: treasurer. (No offense to all the treasurers out there.) There can also be other exec board positions that can be just sheer hell, and it's all about finding the girl who can get the job done and will suck up all the crap that comes with it - regardless of whether she's the most beloved sister in the chapter.

Right. Outgoing -- social chair, rush chair, pledge trainer, and president (sorta)
Not so important -- treasurer, secretary, scholarship, risk management, vice president, house manager, philanthropy

I might as well throw out what I wore during each round, hopefully it will help others going through rush (although this isn't a southern school, so probably will seem too informal for some):

Convo Day 1: purple-grey halter with a high waisted floral patterned skirt, grey gladiator sandals.

House Tours: one of those 2-in-1 kind of dresses. I actually found a picture of it online, although the top part of mine was black and the necklace was more subdued. I wore black cutout heels with it.

Slideshow: Blue maxi dress, silver jewelry (by that I mean silver colored jewelry, I'm a spaz and don't trust myself with fancy shmancy expensive stuff), and woven espradrille wedges

Pref: a blue/purple type of floral dress, I actually felt a bit overdressed at pref! I wore darker pewter jewelry and black heels.

I can't see your pref dress unless you went wearing a red X. :p

I did! It was very memorable! :D

I went back and changed it, hopefully it's viewable now.

Yes, I rushed in August! And thank you :)

The next round was Slideshow Day! Out of a possible 4 invites, I received 3:

Trudy Campbell
Joan Holloway
Peggy Olson

I'd been dropped from Jane Sterling, which I was honestly surprised about not because of my potential? legacy status, but because I thought that I had found a real connection there and I got to know so many women really well the day before.

(By the way, my best friend who thought Joan Holloway would be a "significant drop" from Midge Daniels got dropped from both this round...she ended up joining Jane Sterling and so now my best friend is sisters with my sister! Actually, at bid night when a Jane Sterling found out from my best friend that we live together, she said "Oh my gosh! _______! I was obsessed with her! But I think she dropped us..." Panhellenic whoopsie?:rolleyes:)

I was, however, extremely excited to go back and see Joan Holloway! I'd been curious about their voting process, considering I'd met 4 girls at all the other houses and only one at Joan Holloway, making it more Pref-like than House Tour-y, if that makes sense--which I truly liked a whole lot better.

First up was Trudy Campbell. Again, this house has the catchiest songs ever. My contacts were bugging me so I wore glasses at this party, and some girls looked at me kind of funny...(so after this party I definitely changed into contacts, but that was kind of off-putting). I was paired up with a new girl and led into the slideshow room. The theme is very cute and elaborate and the girls get really into it. I found lots of things about their philanthropy and chapter in general that I really liked or connected with and mentioned that to the girl I was paired with. They consistently get lots of Greek awards, are very involved, and as I'd noticed before, have a very strong sisterhood with very close big/little bonds. After the slideshow, I talked to a junior or senior and the conversation was kind of...pleasant. Somehow the next girl I talked to would not veer from talking about food trucks. I don't have much to say in regards to food trucks so...that conversation was a little strained as well. However, on the way out I saw many of the girls I'd talked to during House Tours and I waved to them, and the girl that was walking me out commented that I must know a lot of girls in the house. I felt a little disappointed leaving but I felt I could still "learn" from this house if they wanted to Pref me, because I didn't feel like I had gotten along with them AT ALL during Convo Days, but had a really great House Tour there, and maybe Pref could tell a different story too.

Next was Joan Holloway. I was paired up with a different senior girl than last time, she was really outgoing and asked me a lot of questions. It was great because I could tell that she wanted to know more about me and whether I'd be a good fit, rather than at Trudy Campbell where it was more up to me to ask questions and talking to so many girls felt like Convo Days v2.0. At Joan Holloway, again it felt very personal and Pref-y. We had a lot in common, even found out we had some mutual friends. As we walked down to the slideshow area, I think I'd mentioned my sister was in a sorority at another school and she asked me which one. When I said she was a Jane Sterling, she asked me when I was going to visit that house today and I told her I wasn't. I think she wanted to see the chances of me wanting their house over my sister's, which meant a lot to me since I want their house back. The slideshow room was really prettily set up but it wasn't deafeningly loud like at Trudy Campbell's. Anyways, through their slideshow I got to learn so much about their chapter. They're one of the consistently improving chapters that always wants to better themselves while still being nice to everyone. They've won first place in fraternity philanthropies consistently, are very passionate about their own philanthropy, and have great programming for girls within their house too. After visiting this house again it really reaffirmed my good instincts about this house from even before rush. I even liked the way they rushed PNMs, really focusing on getting to know a girl in depth. And their commitment to the Greek system here stands out above the rest to me, and that says a lot since our Greek system is huge and has a large presence. On top of that, though I'm serious about this house and undoubtedly the girl that was rushing me is too, we both got along very easily and jokingly. And I definitely could've worn glasses here and not gotten weird looks.

I'll give more about Peggy Olson in a bit. It's kind of an interesting story...

MORE!!!

Peggy Olson interests me because my house was smaller than average when I joined - and so sisters had to take 2 rushees the first round. And a lot of them found that off putting.

So, if you're a smaller house, you can't win! You can borrow sisters if possible or you can double rush - but either way, PNMs don't like it.

Hrrrm.

So anyway...MORE!

More, more, more!!! Loving it :)

More about Peggy Olson.

The pre-party revelation

There is so much negative tent talk about this house for no reason besides the fact that they are typically smaller than our ginormous other chapters on campus. But I had to admit...at this point I knew I had to be honest with myself.

Because of catty girls' unfounded comments (usually something like "I'm so glad I got to cut Peggy so I didn't have to see her for House Tours!" Why? Were they rude to you? Judgemental? No...because of our university's long Greek history, there are very definitive "tiers" on campus I really can't be bothered with because I know girls in every house and they are all really quite on par in terms of intelligence, friendliness, AND attractiveness as a whole so whatever frat bros want to shoehorn us into--well, I don't care), I finally realized that I had been using reverse tent talk with this house. Stay with me now.

Because I love a good underdog, and I hate it when anyone or anything is looked down on for absolutely unfounded reasons, I have always rooted for Peggy to do well. But during my break before this party, I suddenly thought, "What if my rush experience at Amazing Top House was just like it had been with Peggy these last couple days?"

And I realized that even if this was some kind of Stepford house with leggy bombshells floating around in their natural sorvironment, and every other PNM and their greatgrandmother's neighbor wanted a bid from this house, I would still not want to join this house based on my lack of compatability with this house emotionally.

And I felt so guilty admitting that to myself! I had for some reason felt the need to counterbalance other PNMs' shallow behavior by telling myself that, yes, Peggy Olson needed some love and yes, of course I liked this house even though, yes, I have to wrack my brain to come up with things to say here, and yes, I feel out of place and, yes, even a little scared to be myself in fear of off-putting or offending anyone's sensibilities here.

So was I this whole time discounting my own feelings by feeling sorry for a house? Did I kind of smooth over my lack of compatibility by thinking, no, this girl's just awkward, give her a chance and in three months of sisterhood maybe we'll have a pleasant conversation? Every time the past couple days that at Peggy Olson my gut told me "no, this isn't for you," I immediately felt guilty. I realized that finally. BUT I also acknowledged that they had invited me back for their Slideshow, so that I could learn more about their house.

The Slideshow
It felt like there was a meagre showing of PNMs outside, and lots of girls looking absolutely outraged that they had been invited back. (There were lots of elevator eyes and general harumphing.) I felt guilty again. Well, maybe more kind of pissed off...these holier-than-thou girls probably hadn't tried to make a connection with these girls...they probably tried to make it more difficult. Anyways, I felt like I'd probably be glad to meet another Peggy Olson to see if maybe I'd been wrong all along and my breaktime revelation was just me being stressed out and Red Bull-ed for too long...

When we walked in, my hometown friend jumped up in front of a different active to join me. I immediately felt a sense of relief. And then I immediately noticed that...shoot. I'd felt a sense of relief. But I wouldn't have to squeeze my brain like a sponge at this party, which meant that until tomorrow I could turn off from rush mode. The slideshow came on and my friend went to the aisles to join in on the dance...I was next to the aisle though, and nobody else was next to me in the entire row which I guess was good so I could focus on the slideshow, but I honestly don't remember much of it.

After the slideshow, my friend took me to the backyard where we sat at a patio table...maybe the same one I'd sat at on Convo Days with Other University Peggy. She asked me how my rush was going, and I sheepishly told her I'd had a really good day so far. She asked me what houses I'd seen and I told her.

And then.

She asked me, "Do you want me to get us to drop you?"

I was...shocked. Surprised. Guilty. Nervous. Also concerned about that this was like some kind of backwards dirty rushing. I was silent for a bit. I didn't know what to say. I knew what I wanted to say, and I just remember thinking, "Well...she suggested it....?"

Finally I said, my voice funny sounding even to myself, "Um, well...sure. I guess?" So she said she would put me down for the lowest score when she ranked me, and later she texted me that she would again. She was so...earnest.

So in the midst of my emotional rush week I suddenly was thrown a loop. I felt real bad. But I also knew that if it came to going to Pref here, I wouldn't be able to...do whatever girls do at Pref. Cry. Feel connected and emotional. I could just imagine myself, standing in a group of PNMs holding candles or something (I had no idea how it worked whatsoever), everybody's sobbing while I'm looking around awkwardly. Also, I would rather drop this house than Trudy Campbell, since I felt like I'd had an off day there rather than an off week here, so maybe we would be cross-cutting each other anyways? Also, my friend is a member of this chapter, after all! I hadn't mentioned any uncertainty about Peggy to her, just that I'd had a good day so far...if I could be a good addition to her house, wouldn't she try to talk up good things about her house rather than simply offer to cut me?

Man was I guilty. During break before the party I'd felt guilty for feeling sorry. Now I was sorry for feeling guilty. Or something. Dammit, recruitment!

However, needless to say, ranking my 2 houses for Preference were pretty simple. My other RC (each RC group has 2 RCs, and half of the group usually visits 1 of the 2 during computer ranking) helped me at the computer today.

She asked me what my first choice was.

"Joan Holloway," I must have said with a lot of certainty, because she said:

"I love it when PNMs just know and find a house that they really love," she was looking at me, smiling with a kind of proud approval.

My second choice was Trudy Campbell, and then of course Peggy Olson was my first alternative.

I felt an uneasy peace. I realized that I did feel a weight off my shoulders that I would be dropped from Peggy. So whatever happened tomorrow was meant to happen...right?

[I have a feeling this post is going to make all of you hate me! I'm scared to see your reaction but I think that as a PNM I did my best to give each house a fair and open-minded shot...right? Giving bias to the so-called "top tier" sorority while disregarding actual emotional connection is the flip side to giving bias to the so-called "lower tier" sorority out of indignant support...right? And was I reverse dirty rushed? Am I just a silly little girl who doesn't know what's best for herself??? (Yes.) Thoughts? Like I said, I'm scared to hear your thoughts but a major reason I wanted to share this story is to hear an outsider's insights.]

I have never heard of a chapter offering to cut a PNM. EVER. It was nice of her because, presuming it worked, it would allow you to not have to ISP later. But seriously weird. Here on GC we ask people to have an open mind. It sounds like you did. You thought clearly about whether you would find a home there and decided you just didn't think so. That is not the same as deciding without any consideration at all that these girls were losers and you wanted no part of them.

As far as dirty rushed, one of the things the rusher needs to do is determine your interest in them. Even the small chapters have to make a ranked list, so it's good to know where you stand, as a chapter. It's just unusual to know someone well enough to be that blunt. Usually you have to sort of dance around the issue. I'm interested to see if you actually GOT cut from them.

DubaiSis, just read your retro recruitment story...the part about the cocktail drink/weird frozen fruit skewer business reminds me that during House Tours with Trudy Campbell, we were served a fruity drink out of margarita glasses that were very wide and shallow, and while walking through the house I spilled most of it on my skirt! It's a black skirt that is miraculously stain-resistant and there were a ton of napkins at hand but I said, "Man, I've had way too many of these." :p

Dunno. That just sparked my memory.

Yeah, I'd never ever thought that somebody would ask me if they should drop me...the most stressful part during rush is figuring out what on earth each house decides to do. And the fact that a good friend of mine asked made it so much stranger.

I am like seriously on pins and needles waiting to hear how it went. Good luck!!

Well, you were respectful and open-minded of Peggy, and that's more than we can say for some of your peers.

Were you dirty rushed? Yeah, I mean she definitely discussed membership selection with you - but in the grand scheme of things, her infraction was pretty minor. And well-intended.

So no, I'm not mad at you or your friend at Peggy.

I really liked the "worst" house when I rushed, and they cut me after second round, which hurt - because I actually wanted to go back and had to listen to everyone bitch about how they *had* to go back. I ended up where I was meant to be, so it's all good.

Now, let's talk prefs...

This happened to me during the *weird semi-formal* informal recruitment I did during the spring of my sophomore year. Not the "worst" house, but a "semi-lower tiered" one was my favorite and when I didn't get it back and there were girls complaining about getting it back it made me want to cry.

But all in all, after a lot of set-backs, I ended up where I fit in best and where I am meant to be and I love my sisters and my experience with my chapter and am looking forward to my future with them. :) I can't imagine myself anywhere else.

This makes me understand part of why Peggy has membership issues.

I've seen friends come through and been uncomfy or not feeling it with my chapter...and known I was going to have to convey that to my sisters somehow...but there are FAR better and more discreet ways to do it.

I'm sure it's different in larger chapters/rushes than it is in smaller ones and a lot of it is just taking at their word individual opinions. It would have been one thing if she would have said to you before rush ever started "Don't feel bad if you don't feel comfortable with my chapter, the important thing is for you to find the right group for you" - that's being Panhellenic. And you more than likely could have found a way to convey that to her that let both of you off the hook. But unless this girl is your best, best, best BEST friend in the entire universe, IMO what she did was beyond the pale.

Please post more! I can't wait to hear how it turns out :)

Loving the theme! I actually had a Mad Men themed party for my birthday and I dressed up as Joan.

Love the theme. So...now...what happened?

I'm dying to know too. :)

I'm hoping it isn't because she joined Peggy and she's offended that I dissed the girl who is now her BFF.

Not offended! :) Just a little bogged down with work. Tomorrow, I'll talk Pref!

It's tomorrow... ;)

Pretty pleaseeeeee tell us what happens? :)