Need as much advice as I can get!
 

I am starting a sorority for women who are survivors of domestic & sexual abuse. I have already incorp. the name, have mission statement, values, colors & motto. I am currently working on bylaws but needs some help. Also need help creating a shield. My sorority focus is on awareness & support of Domestic Violence & Sexual Abuse. Probably in the next couple of years maybe a facility. I am a Counselor & also a survivor. Please any advise is requested & thanks in advance. :)

I think the cause is commendable, but why does this need to be a sorority?

Also, the nuts and bolts of the organization should have been discussed prior to incorporation.

This doesn't need to be a sorority. There are many support groups out there - and they don't charge dues.

I incorp. & I am working on bylaws to start the non-profit process. It will be a non-profit with major principles similarities of a sorority. A sisterhood that relatively been through similar situations in life.

I have been to support groups where I still felt not wanted or like I did not belonged & have been in a sorority years ago. Its to make everyone feel comfortable in a sorority setting. While support is not the only purpose, awareness & prevention will also be our mission.

Think out the box. Not trying to step on any toes. Just need advise.

Is English your second language?

Agreed. Seems like it would be difficult to sustain a sufficient level of membership. This type of organization doesn't seem to have wide spread appeal. Perhaps creating a sorority whose singular philanthropy or service area is domestic and sexual abuse might be more viable.

Do you really want to start a sorority where you are defining yourselves as victims?

I know you are survivors, and I know this is a pivotal experience in your life, as in the lives of many victims, but you should really think long and hard about letting it be your major focus. You are SO much more than the things that have happened to you.

Also- domestic violence awareness and support for victims of domestic violence is not a unique philanthropy. Alpha Chi Omega has been supporting this cause since 1988.

You "were" in a sorority years ago? Why would you want to be in another?

And we don't need to think outside the box. We're not trying to create this organization. You asked for advice and you're getting it.

Or maybe even an online sorority so you could recruit people from all over the universe.

Really? You really felt the need to go there with this person? Unfuckingbelievable! :rolleyes:

A big part of a sorority is that their members *IDENTIFY* themselves as part of the sorority. I just don't think this type of victim is the kind that wants to shout it from the rooftops. As it is, domestic/sexual crimes are severely under-reported due to the blame and stigma victims usually place on themselves. Being able to discuss what happened may be part of the healing process, but it seems like a group like this would push that on the victim before they're ready, under the pretense of helping them.

@Drolefille-Haha funny, not really, but if thats what you want to say.
@DeltaBetaBaby-Realizing you are a victim is the 1st step in getting help. I am very educated in this area from experience & I have majored in Counseling, currently working on my PhD.
@everybody else I thank you for all your advise, its greatly appreciated!

Yep. Kind of like outing people before they're ready.

OP, if you were in a sorority years ago, why don't you work up a program that they can use to educate their members and help these people you're referring to? You will reach MANY more people that way than with a local, very specialized sorority that will take DECADES before it has the reach and influence that any established sorority does.

I agree that identifying yourself as "victim, woman, mother etc etc" - i.e. putting the victim part first and making it your raison d'etre - is nothing but counterproductive. You can't recover if you wake up every day and give yourself the "beaten down" label.

Alpha Chi's support it as their philanthropy but thats different from being a survivor. I dont think she is looking for unique I think she's looking to form a sort of safe haven in order to heal and have women support each other in the process.

My best friend committed suicide in our apartment in front of all of us two years ago. It was a traumatic experience to say the least. Ive been to counseling groups, didn't help. Everyone is wired different, everyone copes and heals differently. Theres a local group here I volunteer for that helps with those who have suicidal thoughts, who are struggling with substance addiction, and those who are depressed. If it were formed in the right way I think it could be extremely beneficial to women who decide to join.

Although, I think you should make it clear that it is aimed at being a support sorority rather than defining yourself as a victim like someone has said in a previous post.

Again, why would someone want to go through "pledging" and pay dues for an organization like this?

How will you sustain membership? What kind of programming will you engage in?

Sororities typically promote lifelong membership.

I've been a victim of certain things in my life, things I have worked to recover myself over. While I am proud of my ability to survive and thrive, many years later, I can't imagine wearing a shirt that reminds me and shares my experiences with others. While some victims go on to crusade and advocate for others, I think that most people put that part of their lives behind them. Not to forget, but because they are so much more than their victimization.

It's similar to trying to start a sorority for people with Chronic Illnesses. I live mine every day, and am reminded at least twenty times a day. I don't need to join a club or sorority to commiserate or find support, and I can't imagine wearing clothes that scream it to others. A support group - that, I totally appreciate. I think that your goal of having a facility is wonderful. Then make it a foundation of some sorts.

Don't minimize the impact and work you can do by limiting your support by creating a sorority for victims. Remember, children and men are victims, too. Are you going to let them in? Support should be INCLUSIVE and not have requirements, which a structured sorority would need in order to operate.

I just don't think you're going for the right frame. But best of luck in your pursuits to provide support for victims of DV. It takes special people to reach out and help others.

What about a women's group? It need not be a sorority, so it doesn't have the strict membership requirements, the secrecy, etc.

Both men AND women could join (if you wanted to, since men are also victims) and you could also have non-victims who wanted to support join.

Also, there would be no need for membership selection and pledgeship. This might also be helpful in your circumstance because the last thing a survivor of violence needs is to (a) not be welcomed into a support group or (b) need to "work" to be a member of the group.

I think this is a great idea, but I don't think a traditional sorority is the best way to go about. I think a Women's Group would allow you to get all the amazing benefits you are looking for without the problems.

Good luck.

Thanks again for all the advice, I am taking everything into consideration.

What about a non-traditional GLO????? Feedback.... Thanks

Why...does...this...need...to...be...a...GLO???

Because I have a name already, colors & a motto, an an idea for a crest & have did alot of research into what everything means. I am sorry everybody might not get why I want it to be a GLO, but thats whats its going to be. Non-traditional with some twist as to membership, recruitment & pledging ect.. I already know what I want this to be, was just getting alittle feedback. Will let you all know how everything is working by April, 2011.

Thank you all for your input, it was well appreciated. No hard feelings. :cool:

OK, if you have everything squared away, what kind of help/advice are you looking for?

And if you can't explain the appeal of your organization now, how will you do it in front of aspirants? You can't tell potential members "it's a GLO because I want it to be" and expect them to be excited to join.

I never said I couldn't explain, I didn't want to put to much out there just yet about the organization. I am currently recruiting board members & have worked with an attorney(board member) & other organizations in my area to which I have presented my organizations ideas, purpose & goals. I have been working on this for a few years now. I just put a little out there to see what others would say, get some feedback. Like I said, I really appreciate everyones input & I am taking everything into consideration, will make changes if needed be.

That's all great, but I think that, if you want this organization to really succeed, this answer is avoiding the real question. The real question you need to ask yourself, and be prepared for lots of other people to ask you, is this:

How will being a sorority make this organization better, more effective and more appealing to potential members than it would be if it were not a sorority?

Lots of organizations that are not sororities have names that mean something, colors that distinguish them, mottoes, coats-of-arms or other emblems and their own traditions. Many of them are very welcoming of others and have a sense of sister- or brotherhood. What they typically don't have, which separates them from most sororities, are exclusive selection procedures (by which I mean they decide whom they want to invite to join them, though I know that some service sororities are not exclusive in this way), an expectation of lifelong membership and commitment and secret or private ritual.

So, will you accept any woman who wants to join? Will you expect lifetime commitment? Will you have secret rituals? If no to any of these questions, then what is the advantage to your organization of being a "sorority" rather than some other kind of organization?

Then the input/advice will be vague.

Yeah, it was a genuine question based on the writing and verb usage in the first post and the subsequent posts.

Surprise surprise I wasn't being snarky for once. So, keep those eyes a-rolling.

You've been working on this for years?

Creating a board for an organization that doesn't exist?

I think that you're going about this backwards. Usually, sororities grow out of groups of women who share common bonds and want to bring others into the fold.

What is an organization without people? Recruiting board members for what? Are there any other people involved who would be members??

All good intentions aside, this is a case of founderitis. The final test is the rampant use of the word "I".

Exactly what I was just thinking, ree. "I" "I" "I" "I" - there's a lot of "I's" for someone who wants to form something for a group of women.

I 100% agree. It was years before I was able to not-even-openly discuss my experience and I doubt I'll ever be at the point where I'd be willing to be a walking billboard for a group built of survivors like I would for my GLO. In fact, as a survivor I'm mega uncomfortable wearing t-shirts associated with any group or event with a similar mission, and I don't do it.

Not that sorority membership is all about t-shirts, but it seems like many people who found groups (in this day and age) consider things like t-shirts way before considering things like ritual.

If you want to borrow some "sorority" elements, that could be fine...like, we trust each other enough to have a secret motto or something like that. I see how that could be useful, if applied correctly.

I also feel that writing a ritual about survivorship and the power of the human spirit could be quite moving. However I do think that this is sort of a backwards approach to it, unless you already have friends who are survivors (which you may well have).

I guess I just don't understand how selective membership and pledging will help these women though. Also would there be opportunities for friends/relatives/partners to participate in elements of the group? Because I feel that would be useful in supporting them.

Many of the times the people who are quick to point out founderitis belong to orgs whose founders suffered from the same disease.

No.

Most of our organizations were founded in a very different time, and for very different purposes. Communication was limited, as were social opportunities for college students. Especially in the case of women's fraternities they created a support system at a time when women were a minority in higher education. Our founders did not have founderitis; they had less options, and had a void to fill on college campuses and in their communities. Your answer shows very little knowledge of the origins of the fraternal movement.

The case of the OP is not the same, and though her cause is worthy, it devalues the fraternal experience by making everything and anything worthy of a fraternity or sorority.

I didn't realize that a formal definition or age limit existed. Where would I find such information?

Second, what is the litmus test for "something cool"? I don' think that the OP perceives an organization for victims of Domestic Violence as "something cool".

As for being misguided, dear, you should look in the mirror. The rationale that you've spewed is coming from somewhere in that head.

People like who?

I believe ree-Xi is a member of Alpha Xi Delta. Please enlighten us on how this group's founders suffered from founderitis in 1893.

Bingo. People like Splash need to shut the hell up.

Somehow I don't think so.

It's the "I" mentality that is a dead giveaway of Founderitis.

"I" picked "our" letters.
"I" made "our" crest.
"I" created "our" ritual.

"I" when it should be "We" = Founderitis.