To pledge or not to pledge a sorority?
 

So i’m currently a interest for a latin sorority. I have found out certain things that have pushed me away from wanting to pledge, like that they haze and make the girls do certain things which i’m not with. I really want to be part of the sorority tho but i feel like how can you possibly call girls that hit you in your face and haze you sisters. I wish that the old way of pledging was still around.*

I still want to do it, but i feel like i’m very undeceive at this point. I have a lot of negative and positive things about the sorority. but i feel that when being an interest one shouldn’t get treated as interest but as proper human beings. In my case i get treated as an interest.*

I just wanted advice because i want to make the right choice. and although i really want to be part of this i’m afraid of making the wrong decision because the girls in it seem so fake to me at times, like they put up a front based on their sorority. like come on not everything about your sorority is good.

I’m also upset because my friend was an interest with me and she stopped being an interest because of the way the girls were treating her. I really wanted her to do it with me if i end up pledging, but i guess i cant count with her. I really understand her reason and feel like maybe i should stop too?*

my other reason for not wanting to stop is that i feel like i have been an interest for a while, and seeing the other girls get put online would upset me. I’ll probably feel like damn i could have been on that line too. Truth is i can see me part of the sorority, but i feel hesitant in going through the process and being treated like crap.

QFP

1. If you're using the terminology that you're using on purpose, you've kind of given away the sorority.

2. If not, how are you being hazed as an interest? Or are you basing this on hearsay?

3. Maybe you're just confused because you're not in the system, but if you aren't a member and you aspire to be on, then you ARE an interest and will be treated as one. Does that mean you should get hazed? No. But again, I'm not sure how they're hazing you as an interest.

FYI -- No one here can make the decision for you.

As in, even I knew. Oy.

Lambda Theta Alpha?

Hmm
 

I don't mean this in a bad way. What I mean is that every sorority has positive and negative things in them. And I'm not giving up the sorority. I actually like the sorority but I don't really know if it's for me. And I really like the alumnaes in it but the actual girls I don't know if they're frank with me and if they actually want me. That's what I was referring too, which is why I said that they seem fake to me at times. Now I don't know if their supposed to do that but I feel really bad because I don't know what to do, maybe I'm wasting my time. I don't know if you guys understand me but I'm very confused. I think about this everyday because I want to make the right choice. Or maybe I should just focus with school? I would appreciate someone to be frank with me and just give me advice. Thanx

This post is very confusing.

The sorority is not going to change for you. I'm not sure what you're needing our help with.

I've lurked here awhile. I'm going to say something I might regret but whatever. I think that there is a trend that says "revealing a lot of specific GLO information is a bad thing". I don't think thats the case. A lot of people say "oh you've posted too much info!" I mean, they did that for a reason. so we can help them make a decision

Darling, join your sorority if you think its right for you. Bitches will be bitches though, so be wise about your choice. and hazing is wrong.

*sigh*

Shut up.

Why should I shut up? I'm not going to tell people they're revealing too much info because they aren't. People will post what they feel comfortable with and if it bites them in the ass, thats not my problem

If the information can potentially come back to bite someone in the ass, then yes, it is too much info. While we may not spoon-feed aspirants, we typically aren't in the business of sabotaging them.

If you were a lurker, you'd know that.

thank you so much NETrySIG89. I'm not trying to disrespect any sorority or anyone I'm simply asking for advice because my parents don't seem to understand and asking them for advice would be intimidating.

By the way how can I simply get the sorority into trouble when all I said was that it's a Latin sorority. I never mentioned any sorority name, state, or school. all I said was 1/8 of what they do because that's not even everything. and I know I'm not supposed to be writing this but how else can I get advice if I have no one to ask?

You have no idea how much I want to be apart of this but I find someone touching someone else in the face to be very disrespectful.

By using the terminology that you did, you give the sorority away.

You still haven't said how you know they are hazing. Have they hazed you, or is this accusation based on hearsay?

I actually don't think you know which sorority it is. And I can't really explain but I guess it would be based on hearsay, and I haven't been hazed but I actually know people who have been.

OK. If you know people and they tell you that this group hazes, what kind of answers are you seeking here?

Advice on what to do? Because I really want this but I'm scared

Three words: play your position.

You're interested in them. You're required to show it. They arent mandated to shower you with attention in the same regard.

The only correct choice is the one you can live with, As mentioned, none of us have direct answers for you. Yes, your posts are confusing but we've been there in some way, whether it becomes a great choice in the end or something you regret. The time you're spending worrying and wondering if you or if you shouldn't could be the difference between whether they even choose you for membership.

Do you want us to be frank or give you the answer? The former we've done, the latter we won't. If you want it, go for it. You should be more concerned if THEY want YOU.

thank you so much! i respect what you wrote so much, and it makes me feel so much better.

ugh I hate the term aspirants so much

Then don't use it.

I don't. I just think its a little pretentious

And I think it's a little pretentious to say that terms that other GLOs have chosen to use are pretentious.

OH! i did not know that was a word that was specifically chosen by a sorority :( My bad. haha glad we don't use it though

Yes, your bad.

oh, we still talking about this? oh.

Why's that?

I think it sounds a little pretentious thats all. I know you aspire to be one of us, but I prefer to use language thats a little more laid back unless the situation is very formal

Ah, so you don't like recruitment to be formal?

formal recruitment is fine but I would never call a potential an "aspirant" in a casual conversation :)

:D

My opinion, and only my opinion, no need to listen to it, is that hazing is wrong and maybe you should find another organization to join that can offer some of the same things but will treat you as a human being. If the group wanted you to be a sister they would not treat you that way. Just my opinion!

I'll just say that if anyone tried to hit me in the face as part of a "pledge" requirement, I'd be out of there. That's something I would expect in a gang, not a sorority.

No kidding. Unless she were significantly larger than I, it wouldn't happen. And I'd be out of there, no regrets.

I'm afraid I might hit back. Then, I'd be outta there.

I think this whole discussion is just confusing. Let me ask what would appear to be a comparable question. "Should I marry a spousal abuser? I really want to get married."

Could not have said it better myself.

What chapter are you an interest for? I can personally say that you can't and shouldn't write off an entire organization based on your experience with that chapter. I am a sister of LTA and my chapter never hazed me or treated me different when I was an interest. They welcomed me with open arms. And when I came out to them as transgender, they never saw me differently. The support me and my transition from female to male I am about to embark on. They love me unconditionally. And I love them. I may not no the sisters of the chapter you are referring to but I do know that everyone is different. And every sister had their own reason for pledging for LTA. I'm sorry about whatever you experience. But don't write of the whole entire organization because of a few bad eggs. I personally will end with this: I am ETA made and I love my chapter with my heart and soul. Every chapter is different. I wouldn't want to pledge for any other chapter but my one. I love all of my sisters even those I haven't met. Everyone has there flaws, I know I do.

Just fyi, you're responding to a question asked in December 2010 by someone who hasn't posted since, so I wouldn't expect an answer.

qfp