Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1987681)

To the members of Kappa Alpha Psi. To give a recap, earlier, I posted that I was picked up to be on line as a pledge for Kappa Alpha Psi. It's 5 of us that are about to be on line now. It could be a possible 4 if I get cut. Over the summer, I was hanging out with one of the members girlfriends who I've known since highschool. We've always been cool and have always hung out together, nothing more than that. Well, one night she came over and one thing led to another. We had sex. We promised each other that we would keep it a secret, because she knows I want to pledge, and she doesn't want him to break up with her. When we got back to school, everything was cool, so I decided I wasn't going to say anything at all. Her best friend is a Kappa sweetheart, and she told her, thinking she wouldn't say anything. Her best friend told another sweetheart, and I'm thinking that's how it got back to him. She thought I told him, because he confronted her about it, and she denied it. So, he knows but he hasn't confronted me about it yet. We had our interviews last wednesday, and the whole time I was in the interview, he was just looking at me funny, not saying a word. The other members didn't seem like they knew. Right now, I'm confused and scared I'm going to get cut. If he confronted me, I was going to tell him the truth, but since his girl denied it, then I'm thinking I need to as well. I don't know what to do, and I don't know if all the Kappa know and are just playing mind games with me. I don't want to get cut, because I really want Kappa, but at the same time I feel uncomfortable when I see him one campus. He doesn't say anything to me. I'm just wondering if the other members know. Kappas if it was you in my shoes, what would you do

Originally Posted by excelblue (Post 1987696)

All I have to say: staying in implies that you're going to eventually become one of their brothers. Is this type of thing, unresolved, compatible with brotherhood?

I don't think there's an easy answer to this.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1987697)

When you say staying in you don't think I'll get cut, do you? Do you think the other brothers know? I know he knows. I'm thinking I should just go with the flow.

I don't understand your question.

Originally Posted by Alumiyum (Post 1987699)

If you don't get cut and it becomes obvious he is uncomfortable around you, it might be good to go ahead and talk about it. If you do, this is a hard lesson learned. Henceforth, be careful who you have sex with.

Originally Posted by excelblue (Post 1987702)

Yes, you should approach him and talk about it in person. How he reacts is up to him.

In either case, you're going to need to get this worked out and over with if you ever want to become one of their brothers. I just don't think any sane person will let you cross into any GLO if you have unresolved issues that might separate you from the brotherhood.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1987681)

Well, one night she came over and one thing led to another. We had sex.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1987681)

So, he knows but he hasn't confronted me about it yet. We had our interviews last wednesday, and the whole time I was in the interview, he was just looking at me funny, not saying a word. The other members didn't seem like they knew. Right now, I'm confused and scared I'm going to get cut.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1987681)

Kappas if it was you in my shoes, what would you do?

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1987708)

If I tell him and I don't deny it, then they'll cut me and I'll never be a Kappa, at least not at this chapter. Going grad would be fine, but I really want the college greek life experience.
.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1987708)

If I tell him and I don't deny it, then they'll cut me and I'll never be a Kappa, at least not at this chapter. Going grad would be fine, but I really want the college greek life experience.

On the other hand, you may be right. I would feel better if I came clean, the problem is I would just be risking something I've always wanted since I was in Kappa League.

Originally Posted by ThetaPrincess24 (Post 1987784)

You should have thought about that before taking your penis out of your pants and just said NO!

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy (Post 1987718)

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 1987763)

Clearly, the best solution is to transfer to another university, pledge Kappa there, then once you are initiated, you can transfer back to this school and be a Kappa brother.

Originally Posted by ThetaPrincess24 (Post 1987784)

You should have thought about that before taking your penis out of your pants and just said NO!

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1987708)

If I tell him and I don't deny it, then they'll cut me and I'll never be a Kappa, at least not at this chapter. Going grad would be fine, but I really want the college greek life experience.

On the other hand, you may be right. I would feel better if I came clean, the problem is I would just be risking something I've always wanted since I was in Kappa League.

Originally Posted by KAPital PHINUst (Post 1989977)

My response as a Kappa

No pun intended....maybe! :p

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 1987763)

Clearly, the best solution is to transfer to another university, pledge Kappa there, then once you are initiated, you can transfer back to this school and be a Kappa brother.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1989987)

You don't have to make fun of me for it anymore. I already came to him and told him the truth. I told him a couple of days ago.

Originally Posted by Drolefille (Post 1989991)

"Hey dude, my penis was out and it fell into your girl.

It just happened"

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1989992)

Fuck you.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1989989)

This doesn't work. Word gets around. Transferring would not make me a brother, not at this chapter. It doesn't work like that. I'll just have to go grad.

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 1989999)

I don't know which is funnier, the fact that you took my suggestion seriously or the fact that the answer is AI.

Originally Posted by EE-BO (Post 1987866)

I am from an NIC fraternity, and I am aware that intake procedures are very different for NPHC organizations- but I think this particular situation transcends those differences.

First off, given that this is a personal matter- the specific chapter you aspire to and the member with whom you now have a conflict is going to determine the outcome. Therefore, in terms of "giving odds"- this is one case where it is practically impossible for a stranger to the situation to help.

However, I will say this- I really do think you need to take the advice of some other posters and have a very honest and open conversation with that member.

The situation you find yourself in is not unique to the fact you are trying to join the fraternity of the other guy in this triangle. Between friends, in the workplace or in any social grouping- being that guy who cheated with someone's girlfriend or wife is going to put you in a very difficult position. This is all the more true if you are newer to that same workplace/social environment than the guy whose territory you have invaded because what you have done can also be perceived as an invasion against the entire social group the two of you have in common, or may have in common in the future.

I have, both in my fraternity and in many other settings, seen this kind of situation evolve many times. Sometimes it is two guys who just like the same girl, and once it involved a woman who has been married to her husband for several years. Usually it is somewhere in the middle.

Generally, I find most people are very reluctant to get involved in such matters because they are personal. Part of it is surely not wanting to try and get a co-worker fired or ostracize a fellow member of a group because they themselves might one day end up part of a similar story and would prefer the world just butt out. Also, people will tend to look at the big picture when picking sides or deciding to leave a situation alone. There is a big difference between bedding a man's otherwise faithful wife versus a man's girlfriend who is known to sleep around a lot.

Anyhow- that my general life take on the matter.

As for you specifically- getting this out in the open and resolving it now is your best bet. If doing that now really is going to keep you from becoming a Kappa- then it is going to come up later when you have already invested yourself in the chapter as a pledge anyway and the cost of your transgression could be much higher in many ways.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1990002)

This is true and I already told him. He broke up with his girl who is also my friend. He told me he already knew about the whole thing.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1989987)

You don't have to make fun of me for it anymore.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1990000)

I've already had people on my campus tell me to transfer.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1990002)

This is true and I already told him. He broke up with his girl who is also my friend. He told me he already knew about the whole thing.

Originally Posted by ladygreek (Post 1990139)

I guess so since you seem to have diarrhea of the mouth.

Originally Posted by EE-BO (Post 1990124)

Well, if he knows the whole thing and you are able to progress in your intake process, then hopefully that means it is not going to be an issue for you. Based on general past experience, I think you may get some crap for it- but all pledges get crap for something. A reason can always be found if one does not exist :D

Again- not knowing the specifics there is not much firm advice I can give- but now that it is all out there and discussed I think you are in the best possible position. Good luck to you!

Originally Posted by ladygreek (Post 1990137)

Dang, how many folx have you told?

Originally Posted by ladygreek (Post 1990139)

I guess so since you seem to have diarrhea of the mouth.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1990180)

You're the only intelligent person on here,

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1990180)

You're the only intelligent person on here, and thanks for the advice, but I've already been cut. I tried asking the Kappas on here how I can go about becoming a member after I graduate, but they haven't responded yet.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1990180)

You're the only intelligent person on here, and thanks for the advice, but I've already been cut. I tried asking the Kappas on here how I can go about becoming a member after I graduate, but they haven't responded yet. I received some very ignorant responses from them, but that's about it.

Originally Posted by BluPhire (Post 1990210)

Dude I seriously don't think you have the qualifications to judge intelligence.

I mean you weren't intelligent enough to control your penis.

Hopefully you learn from this.

Originally Posted by Regina.George (Post 1990277)

So what did you say to him? "My hot dog just happened to pop out of my pants and flew down your girl's rabbit hole?"

I'm pretty sure the Kappas are giving you exactly the response you deserve.

Originally Posted by EE-BO (Post 1990442)

Thank you for your kind words- but remember too that I am coming at this situation from an outsider perspective. Not all GLOs are the same, and I was only able to present you some general parameters from the perspective of society at large. I have the luxury of being the "nice guy" coming from that perspective.

I am sorry things have not worked out for you, and as to your further questions posed to the board about graduate membership- this is where my ability to help ends completely.

NPHC organizations keep membership intake procedures very private. I do not know why- but just as members of NPHC organizations respect private aspects of my faternity on this forum and in public, so do I respect their boundaries.

I cannot offer you any guidance there at all- and based on my experience in this forum I do not think you will find that guidance here at all from anyone who is in a position to offer it.

The one thing I can say- because it applies to NIC GLOs too- is that so soon after being cut for whatever reason, it is too early to start asking about other options for joining with that particular chapter. I think I am safe in advising you lay low for now on that front.

Sorry things did not work out and best of luck to you. Knowing little about the path you seek to take, I cannot give any advice- but I do suspect the answer will only come from very close to home.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1987681)

To the members of Kappa Alpha Psi. To give a recap, earlier, I posted that I was picked up to be on line as a pledge for Kappa Alpha Psi. It's 5 of us that are about to be on line now. It could be a possible 4 if I get cut. Over the summer, I was hanging out with one of the members girlfriends who I've known since highschool. We've always been cool and have always hung out together, nothing more than that. Well, one night she came over and one thing led to another. We had sex. We promised each other that we would keep it a secret, because she knows I want to pledge, and she doesn't want him to break up with her. When we got back to school, everything was cool, so I decided I wasn't going to say anything at all. Her best friend is a Kappa sweetheart, and she told her, thinking she wouldn't say anything. Her best friend told another sweetheart, and I'm thinking that's how it got back to him. She thought I told him, because he confronted her about it, and she denied it. So, he knows but he hasn't confronted me about it yet. We had our interviews last wednesday, and the whole time I was in the interview, he was just looking at me funny, not saying a word. The other members didn't seem like they knew. Right now, I'm confused and scared I'm going to get cut. If he confronted me, I was going to tell him the truth, but since his girl denied it, then I'm thinking I need to as well. I don't know what to do, and I don't know if all the Kappa know and are just playing mind games with me. I don't want to get cut, because I really want Kappa, but at the same time I feel uncomfortable when I see him one campus. He doesn't say anything to me. I'm just wondering if the other members know. Kappas if it was you in my shoes, what would you do?

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1987697)

When you say staying in you don't think I'll get cut, do you? Do you think the other brothers know? I know he knows. I'm thinking I should just go with the flow.

I don't understand your question.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1987700)

So you think I should just approach him on it?

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1987708)

If I tell him and I don't deny it, then they'll cut me and I'll never be a Kappa, at least not at this chapter. Going grad would be fine, but I really want the college greek life experience.

On the other hand, you may be right. I would feel better if I came clean, the problem is I would just be risking something I've always wanted since I was in Kappa League.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1989992)

Fuck you.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1990000)

I've already had people on my campus tell me to transfer.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1990180)

You're the only intelligent person on here, and thanks for the advice, but I've already been cut. I tried asking the Kappas on here how I can go about becoming a member after I graduate, but they haven't responded yet. I received some very ignorant responses from them, but that's about it.


I only told him. I told him man to man.


It wasn't me. It was the Kappa sweethearts.

Originally Posted by Tre 1 (Post 1990519)

Yes, it was a learning experience for me. It won't happen again.


It's people like this that don't have any intelligence. If you can't hold an intelligent conversation, then shut the fuck up bitch.


Why do you say I should lay low?