I need advice and help. Have no idea where to put this.
 

Okay...so I completed formal recruitment last year. There aren't a lot of sororities at my school. But the first day I absolutely fell in love with one particular one and didn't really like the others. The next day, I was cut by that one and heartbroken. I felt such a strong connection at that one and felt at home. But I thought that I would end up where I was meant to be.
I ended up getting a bid from a sorority that loved me, but I didn't like them that much back. I felt like I didn't have a connection to any of the girls I talked to. But I thought "Well it must be a good thing if they really wanted me, I must really belong here. Besides, I only met about 10 of the girls out of 100, I'll make a connection with someone." So I accepted the bid, went through the pledge period and initiated.
Almost a year later, I don't know what to do. I'm always a bit sad that I got cut from the sorority I absolutely loved the first day and see them have so much fun on campus. They always look so fun together and you can tell they really love each other, it seems like they have a strong bond and a great sisterhood (The number 1 reason why I wanted to join a sorority)
I'm such a shy person....I try talking to some of my sisters but the conversations always come out awkward.... I always sit alone during meetings...The closest person I have is my big sister and she isn't in chapter right now because she has two jobs....The chapter I'm in doesn't do anything for sisterhoods...most of the girls never come to anything and don't get great grades...I wanted to be in a chapter where all the girls did everything together and showed up to all the events. During greek week there was only 20 girls that came to everything and compared to all the other sororities? There were almost 90 girls and they were loud and fun.
Anyways, it just makes me so sad that we don't have a strong sisterhood, and that I make a big effort to get to know the girls but they don't return it. I'm so worried for recruitment because you can all tell we're kinda being fake to each other.
I just feel so out of place here..... SO straight to the point.
Sorry I described so much I just didn't know who else to tell....
Should I wait it out a year for the new members and see if I have a bond and connection with them? Or quit now?

Sorry to explain everything so confusingly. It's just so hard to type/write it all out.

Your siituation is not unique. There are probably many others here who have had similar experiences.

Good thread to read: http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=112091

Staying or quitting is a decision that YOU have to make in the end. Ask yourself if you really have made a good effort to get to know people, or are you more into sitting around wishing you were in your first choice group?

I ask because many girls wonder why they don't have friends in the sorority, but don't realize that people can sense an "I don't want to be here vibe" and just don't want to bother talking to them.

Yeah I could definitely see your point...Thank you so much for replying, I really appreciate your input.

And just to add, I'm involved on a couple of committees and I really do put effort in....I suppose it's not enough, I'll definitely try harder.

I admit, sometimes I do wish I was in that sorority because they were so easy to talk to.....

I don't want to quit, I do want to wait it out...Just a little scared

I honestly just don't know what else I can do to put more effort in.... Any suggestions will be so much appreciated!! :)

Yeah I understand, thanks. I really appreciate your response.

This.

I had a wonderful time as a collegiate member. I had no idea that being an alumna member would be even more fun.

To the OP, it only takes one new member class to turn things around. I know several GreekChatters will agree because they've seen it and/or lived it. Be the change you want to see and keep putting forth that effort in creating relationships with your new sisters. Don't give up on them just yet because you're not seeing results immediately!

Be the change you want to see. Make plans and invite sisters to go along.
And it sounds like your shyness might be getting in the way of your happiness. Faking it will go a long way toward fixing your shyness. Faking being happy and outgoing is not necessarily a bad thing and can even turn you around. If you're faking being happy you can't really be having too many negative thoughts running through your head, and when those thoughts go away, you can be happy without faking it.

Best of luck. I'd hate to have you quit, because as others have stated, it's a lifetime membership and you have many many years of good times ahead of you. But please remember, nobody is spoon fed their fun. You have to work at it.

Bonds are something that you have to build, not something that just magically comes along.

A GLO is great because their members make it great. Every member influences each other, and such influences have great effects on the direction of the organization. If you can influence everybody else to do the little things to make the organization great, then it will be great.

The bonding and greatness are not things to be taken for granted. Otherwise, you might as well be some random club with t-shirts all living in the same place and having some ultra-confidential information.

You've stayed long enough to get initiated, and it appears that you have nothing to lose by staying and nothing to gain by dropping out. After all, based on your description, it appears that it's not just you who's feeling left out. So, by the gist of things, all that's really required is a bit of fixing. :)

Not everyone immediately clicks with everyone else. I mean, personally speaking, I've gotten lucky a few times and immediately clicked with a few friends, but for the vast majority (80%+), the conversation always started awkwardly while one or both sides worked to get more comfortable with each other. There are several resources out there on how to deal with awkward situations, but avoiding or ignoring them is the worst possible way to deal with them.

In fact, being from a fraternity that only recruits from STEM majors, I can honestly say that even though we have a really strong brotherhood (and show it), almost nobody started this way. Almost everybody (including me) actually joined for the other stuff (eg. connections for being in a national, academics) and then found out about the brotherhood later. And yes, we really had to work at making it happen.

The other sorority does not exist, as of now. They have fallen off the face of the earth. Please get the "what if" out of your head. I have sisters who (even though they'd never admit it) are STILL doing "what if?" 25 years later...and it's uber lame.

I agree w/ Dubai Sis. Make plans with other sisters to go to events, go out to dinner, go to fraternity parties etc. JUST DO IT. Quit calling yourself a shy person - it's a self fulfilling prophecy. Stop at the house or suite between classes if you don't live there and just hang out. Those are the BEST times. Don't wait for an invite - you don't need one. You're a sister and this is your home!

That does completely suck about your big - but do you have other sorority family there? Let them know you're kind of feeling adrift.

If the lack of involvement is bugging you - and believe me I understand where you're coming from - ask members of your pledge class what they think about it.

Why do you suppose people aren't coming to sisterhood events? Not interested? Too expensive? No time? Too many friends outside of the house?

Step 1: FORGET ABOUT THE OTHER SORORITY. So much of your first post is about them that it's obvious you're still holding on to some sense of regret. Get over it. You have been initiated and will never, ever be a member of that other sorority, so you need to forget that it was ever an option. I say this not to be harsh but to be realistic. Comparing your experience to the PERCEIVED experience of the members of another sorority isn't going to make you happy, nor is it helpful since you really do not know that they are any happier than you are overall.

Step 2: After letting go of this other sorority, put effort into getting to know your own in and out. Participating on committees is certainly a good way to start, but you need to be spending time with sisters socially, too. Find some that you think you have some things in common with and start asking them to come hang out or go out with you at night as a group. Make sure you're nice to everyone, even girls that have rubbed you the wrong way.

Step 3: Take your grades and participation issues up with the appropriate officers. It sounds like they just need to re-evaluate their system. Are people not interested in sisterhoods because there is no real bonding? Do they need to try something different? Some sororities require people to come to Greek week (mine did). Does this system need to be put in place? As for grades, are there sisters that are struggling? How can they be helped? Does the chapter need a couple of programs on the importance of getting good grades? Find an officer or two that you think would be receptive to a pow-wow on these issues and find a way to organize a sit down discussion.

Step 4: Realize this is 4 years out of your entire life. Your collegiate experience is important and I don't wish to downplay that, but you have the rest of your life to be an alum. Don't throw that away because your collegiate experience is just mediocre. It could be that a new member class could really revitalize the chapter, or maybe the next sisterhood could get everyone really fired up. But if not, continue to learn from your experiences and REALLY think hard about quitting. A sorority is supposed to be fun, but it's also supposed to be a learning experience. For instance, I learned how to be more diplomatic, how to manage my time better, and how to shut my mouth when I needed to no matter how much I wanted to say something. These were all things I personally needed to work on and the chapter helped me do that. I'm sure there are ways your experience could teach you as well.

I don't really know honestly. They're free, and I guess they just aren't interested. Most of my sisters in my sorority are the partying type so that's one thing they enjoy doing and I know that I should go to the parties with them, but I feel uncomfortable going because I have a boyfriend and I would feel really bad going without him, I just don't think it's respectful. Haha sorry if you don't understand that and think it's weird. And I've talked to my sisters about it and they understand, and I do spend time with the two girls who agree and have the same situation...
But back to my first point. A sister and I organized an ice skating sisterhood, it was about 7 or 8 dollars, and only 2 girls went. I guess most of the girls had something else to do, since it was a Saturday (it was after a recruitment workshop). And we can't have one during the week since a lot of girls have late night classes!
Sadly we don't have a chapter house or even suites at my school so I can't stop by in between classes.
But I'm gonna try and "not" be shy anymore! I really am. Retreat is this Friday so I'm excited for that.

And yeah the only thing I'd really gain from dropping out is being able to save my money and more time with my best friends. I have 4 and I've grown very distant from them since my sorority takes up a lot of time! And just time in general.

My gut is telling me not to quit though, so I guess that's a sign! :)

Sorry for the double post, but yeah my chapter requires everyone to go to every greek week event too!
And no worries if you think your response sounds harsh it doesn't, I'm really happy that you took the time to help out and reply. Thanks for all the advice I really love it and can't say thank you enough!

Ah, the going out with your sisters without your boyfriend issue... I'm not going to say go party go wild if that's not something you want to do, but if you feel like being in a relationship, not a lack of desire to go to parties with your sisters is what prevents you going, I can address that one.

One way to handle it is to split your evenings. Say a party starts at 10:00...go from 10:00 to 12:00 with your sisters, hang out and be social. Then excuse yourself, tell everyone you've had fun, and go meet up with the bf. Or, is there some reason he can't come to these parties? I know at schools with a less open party system than mine, guys can have a hard time getting into frat parties, but is it possible for you to go with your sisters, and him to go with some of his friends? That way you can alternate time hanging there with your sisters and hanging there with him and his friends.

Another tip is just reaching out to girls for lunch or dinner sometime. Do you have a house email list? Email the sisterhood asking for lunch buddies on Tuesday or whenever, and see if anyone responds.

That's good you're organizing things like iceskating...you are trying. I know its frustrating when people don't reciprocate, but at least you are trying. That's good. I hope you don't quit, and that everything works out for you!

Huge red flag. You feel guilty going out without your boyfriend? Does he do stuff without you? When you are apart, are you always talking about him or calling or sending him texts? Does your boyfriend demand all your time, or do you put these demands on yourself?

Your sisters may "say" it's okay with them, but honey, no 18-22 year old needs to be tying themselves down with a boy. He may be the love of your life, but if "he's the one", you have the rest of your life to spend with him. You have only a few years to be a "college kid" and an active collegiate sorority member. I am afraid that you may regret keeping yourself in your tiny bubble, and end up resenting him because you feel guilty when he's not around.

You can go out with your sisters and have fun. If you don't want to drink, don't. Y It's not cheating to socialize with people, even other boys. Do you have any male friends? Do you talk to other boys in class?

I think you are bringing a lot of this on yourself. This screams co-dependence to me. It's not healthy, and a lot of women (especially younger women) think that they can't/shouldn't "exist" without a/THE man by her side.

As for the party reputation, low sisterhood participating, and lower grades, get on a committee or run for office in the areas you want to improve. DubaiSis said it right - BE the change (or was that Bruce Almighty?). Your first change is taking off the shackles you've put on yourself. Step two is feeling strongly enough about something to make changes and DOING something about it.

oops

That sucks that you don't have a house or a suite to go to. I completely agree with everyone above, and here are a few other things you can maybe do. See if anyone is interested in having a mini-pledge class war with silly games, or a scavenger hunt, or see if 5-6 of you want to eat lunch together, like the poster above said. Sure, not everyone will want to do it or will be able to make it due to other obligations, but I know that there must be some that will. See if your sorority, or your pledge class, wants to order the same kind of shirt with maybe really awesome letters, or even a set of scrubs with your letters/crest on them. See if anyone wants to go on a little road trip over a weekend. These things are pretty simple, but maybe someone else could come up with something a bit more outside-of-the-box.

lala2005,

Really solid advice so far in this thread. Perhaps your perception is something that needs to be slightly adjusted? I was NOT friends with everyone in my sorority when I was an active. I am an advisor now and what I see is this:

There are a few members who have the gift of appearing to be "friends" with everyone. They are outgoing, bubbly, easy conversationalists, and constantly on the move. They are People Magnets. Even I want to spend time with them when I'm at the house for one reason or another. Why? These young women are fun and make others laugh. I've not heard anyone sniping at them behind their backs (and believe me, I hear enough of that at times - hey, we're human and not perfect).

But the majority of the members are more quiet and reserved. They have their friendships within the chapter, and they are all involved in other activities outside the chapter.

One thing that the chapter does share is a commitment to sisterhood events and other events. I instituted a "practice" at Chapter meetings: I asked the actives to discuss proposed events and vote on a) willingness to support the event and b) approval of events. The change in the chapter has been amazing. The chapter as a whole now feels involved in the decision making, as opposed to "top down" decisions from Exec. AND there's been a corresponding increase in participation.

Scheduling events is key - timing is everything. You can plan the best event ever and have close to zero participation if the timing's not right.

Let me know if you'd like some ideas about sisterhood events. AND there are some great threads about sisterhood already existing on GreekChat - happy searching.

I have confidence that you're going to make a difference, because you care.

I totally agree w/ ree's post on the boyfriend thing. You don't want to be that sister with the boyfriend who never does anything without him. If he's there and he can't/doesn't want to go out, do what was mentioned before and spend part of the night with your sisters, part with him. If it's a long distance thing, you need to tell him that you're going to be going out and having fun. Sitting at home by yourself is NOT going to strengthen your relationship.

Okay I do a lot of things without him with the exception of parties/clubs like that, and no he doesn't do stuff like that without me. When we are apart I don't talk about him unless people ask and I don't call him unless I'm alone at home. I do send him texts a lot but stop if I'm hanging out with people. And no my boyfriend does not demand me all the time.
But it's hard to explain, I knew no one on here would understand. Honestly i have no idea how further i can explain myself besides saying I don't think it's respectful to our relationship. And it's not like I don't go to anything because of him haha, that's like the only thing I don't go to.
Haha and I do have male friends but I really don't talk to anyone in class period, I'm a quiet person..... :)

And just to reiterate, I do a lot of things without him. I only see him a couple days a week, so the rest of the week I am on my own with friends doing different things! Hahaha days of parties I'm not sitting at home by myself...I'm still doing something! Haha :)

It's not disrespectful to go out with a bunch of female friends and have fun. It's not an orgy, it's a party. If guys approach you and hit on you, just say "I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend."

Trust us older and wiser peeps - if you both cut yourself off from doing fun social things, you are both going to be miserable.

Why don't you do things socially apart? How is that not respectful? I knew couples like this, and they more often than not, they grew to resent one another and broke up, only to find that they didn't have any other friends left.

As for people not understanding, I do understand. I had a serious boyfriend in college but I would have gone insane had I not had my own social outlets. Even as a married woman, my husband and I have taken trips without the other, for both business and pleasure. We go out socially with our own friends sometimes. There is nothing wrong with it.

I'll bet you every one of us "older" gals can tell you stories of THAT girl in the house who nobody knew, until one day the boyfriend dumps her out of the blue and she's stuck living in a house (I realize this isn't your exact problem) with a bunch of girls she hardly knows and has to start from scratch.

Go make 1 friend in the chapter. Go to lunch, go skating, whatever you want to do. Maybe add 1 "new" girl to the mix the next time. If your response is "I already have SOME friends in the chapter," then I think your problem might be confusing real life with TV. Sorority life isn't all pillow fights and candle-passings. pooping rainbows comes to mind. HA!

I go to parties with my best friends and without him, it's frat parties and clubs I don't like going without him... haha is that still bad?

I understand what all of you guys are saying and I'll make changes......honestly, I don't really know why I feel like it's disrespectful to go to frat parties without him.. I just feel like I'm hurting his feelings I guess... as for clubs everyone always dances with guys they don't know and i think that's disrespectful to do since I have a boyfriend.

And he hangs out with his friends almost everyday... hahha
as for me, I hang out with my best friends when I'm at my dads, and when I'm at my mom's, since I've only lived in that city for a year I don't have anyone to hang out there. I usually do something with my sorority since we have a ton of meetings.. that's why I want to get to connect well with my sisters so I'll have great girlfriends to hangout with when I'm at my mom's

As one of the older and wiser peeps . . . well, older anyway . . . and as a guy, I agree completely. If he has a problem with you going to a party or club without him, the problem is not the party or the club. And if he doesn't have a problem with it, why make it a problem for you? There's nothing at all disrespectful about it.

Maybe I'm way off, but it seems like you might be missing out on bonding experiences with your sisters and then blaming the lack of a bond on defects in your chapter compared to the chapter-that-might-have-been.

I think so. It's only disrespectful if you go to parties and act like you don't have a boyfriend.

Yeah I understand. He trusts me completely and doesn't have a problem with it. I guess I just worry too much, I don't want to hurt him amd I don't want him to think I favor fraternity guys over him. I'll start going to frat parties if my sisters are going soon, but I still won't go to a club without him hahhaa :) I don't think I'll ever change my stance on that haha

I realize that when you go to a club or a frat party and see what looks like everyone grinding on random dudes, it can be intimidating and frustrating. Try to find some other attached and/or more reserved girls and all of you guys dance in a group. If guys come up and try to dance with you, just tell them (politely) that you're not interested. Agree that you'll all run interference for each other with the pushy ones.

I've found that the girls NOT looking for a guy to hook up with can actually have a lot more fun because there's not always that pressure to look sexy and desirable. I am the world's goofiest dancer, but I don't care if I'm just hanging out with my friends, and not worrying about whether someone wants to get with me.

Alternatively, offer to be the sober sister/sober driver for any frat party or club outings. This will get you lots of gratitude, some good stories, and sometimes some hilarious drunken bonding. You will also meet some different girls in the sorority if you have to DD for them. And you have a really good reason not to get wasted/start boogie-ing.

Wow that helps a lot. thank you so so so much!!! And yeah I will from now on. I'm taking my driving test today so I'll be able to do that.
That was another factor that made me couldn't go to a lot of events. Not having a license! Luckily I'm getting it today so I'll be able to go to most! Haha :)

When I was starting Grad School I felt bad when I'd go out to bars and my boyfriend (still in undergrad, 2 hours away) wasn't there. I got over it quickly, and although that relationship ended I still had a fabulous time during my first year.

Now I live with my boyfriend and believe me I feel ABSOLUTELY NO GUILT about going to parties/bars/clubs without him - love him to pieces but social environments without him there are super fun, too!

You don't have to go to EVERY party - I know you feel like it's disrespectful but unless "frat party" stands for orgy on your campus, if you go with your sisters/friends who are respectful that you have a boyfriend you might end up having a good time. :) "Every so often" rather than "every night" is what keeps it (at least, in my opinion) on the respectful side.

Clubs are a little bit of a different environment, what with the dancing (and I'm guessing you're under 21 since you didn't mention bars) and lack of much else to do.

Initiating events and fun things to do yourself is a good idea. Also, if you go to the gym on campus, ask a sister to come with you. Yoga classes with a friend are also very fun.

Oh great I'm so happy you can relate somewhat :) Thank you thank you thank you! Every bit of your advice helped!

Warning: this is really, really long!
 

Ditto the advice to go to parties/clubs/etc. It is so easy to let that awkwardness of not wanting to go without your boyfriend get in the way- but don't let it. Most groups I've been with or seen wind up spending time with each other, not grinding on random guys (as someone so eloquently put it :)). And if some do, not everyone does. Try going a couple of times. Push yourself. It'll be amazing how that small act will change peoples' perception of you. You'll go from being the person that's off-limits ("no, lala wouldn't be interested so we won't bother inviting her") to someone on the options list ("oh yeah, lala came last week to X- maybe she'll want to go to Y this weekend!"). Usually those kinds of buckets aren't disrespectful in any way, people just go by the norms of what they see.


As for getting to know more of your sisters, take the initiative and go to coffee or lunch with them, one on one. It is very easy to get lost in all of the things you have to do, and to let that shyness or private nature get in the way of pushing yourself to form closer relationships. I have always been the kind of person where I wait for people to approach me, and don’t take the initiative. It has been a huge life lesson to change that. This has actually been a personal struggle for me at work, and I wished I had pushed myself further in college to form closer relationships.

To set the stage for why this is so important in your sorority and out in the real world, I work in consulting which is a bit of an odd industry. I have a company where I work with people minimally on occassion but see them often, and mostly interact with other people (clients) outside of the company. It's very similar to a sorority actually- you're part of the group, you're on a few committees with some people, but spend a lot of your time outside of the sorority- dorm/apartment, classes, boyfriend, etc. In my company, I received some feedback during a midyear review that people felt like they didn't know me, what I was working on, what I could do. The reason? I didn't take the initiative to set up meetings with people just to chat. I thought they had better things to do than talk to me! It was a huge lesson for me to learn that just because someone else is busy and I don't know them well does not mean they aren't interested and won't make time. I started targeting people from different skill sets & levels (in your case, different pledge classes/grades/hobbies/etc). I set up at least one coffee or lunch a week. Pretty soon I had met with around 15 different people that I otherwise wouldn't have. I received such positive feedback that I was not expecting. I figured people would be like “okay, fine, I guess I’ll take time out of MY day to talk to you”. But it was the opposite! People were so happy that I set up these casual meetings. I remember one of the most senior people in my company looking up at me from across the room when he got a meeting invite with the biggest smile on his face, he was so touched and happy that I set something up. It sounds strange, but people were thrilled that I took the initiative to do that because they didn’t have the time/energy to think about setting things up themselves. It not only helped me in my next review but also made me happier with the company because I was establishing closer relationships with people. Now it is that much easier to work with them because we have that basis to start from.

Anyway, long story short… make it a personal goal to reach out to 1-2 people a week. Invite them to coffee, lunch, a campus event, tv show premier, whatever. Don’t send a blanket email to a bunch of people. Target them individually. You will find some that you just don’t click with as well, and that’s fine. But you may find some that you really enjoy, and want to set up another coffee, and another lunch, or go on a double date, or… anything. But, as I have learned, you can’t rely on others to reach out to you. You need to take the initiative for that push. You may be amazed at the response you’ll get. Regardless of what happens between you and your sorority, it is a huge life lesson and a skill that will better prepare you for life out in the real world after graduation.

First, take this with a grain of salt since it's based on personal experience, but please think it over.

I've been in relationships where I have felt guilty if I did not bring my boyfriend with me to parties, or if I went without him. Every single one of these relationships ended, and badly. Now, I realize that's my own experience but please understand that aside from any one issue that caused the break ups, all of these relationships deteriorated more quickly and less amicably than subsequent ones because after a while, we were devoting all of our time to each other, and that's not healthy. Especially at this age. Arguements became impossible to reconcile because we were not able to blow off steam and have time apart to calm down. Two of these boyfriends became increasingly possessive to the point that there was abuse (and I am not telling you that I think your boyfriend is controlling or abusive). I am very careful now to maintain healthy relationships by having as much time with my friends as I do with my SO. I'm 24 and not ready to settle down, and I understand that about myself and act accordingly.

If you really want to build stronger relationships with your chapter, you need to have a talk with your boyfriend. You need to be able to have the experiences with your sisters that will help you grow. You don't have to drink or flirt. He needs to trust you enough to know you can handle the party without hurting your relationship. (And by the same token he needs to be afforded the same consideration.)

Was the sisterhood advertised? Were some girls worried about money? Was everyone exhausted after the workshop? Don't let one let down convince you that next time won't be better. The next time you organize an event advertise heavily ahead of time and if cost is an issue, consider something like a pot luck with movies. Have a sign up list and everyone can bring what they can afford.

It's common to grow apart during college, just let your friends know you're busy but that doesn't mean you don't care. When you have a free afternoon on Saturday, ask them to come over to your apartment/dorm and hang out, or organize a girls' night out with just them.

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't really responded to your advice. I was actually at retreat for my sorority.
First off, retreat was so amazing! So much sisterhood bonding, my roomie and I connected so well because we both felt the same way about being in our sorority. We both felt alone and wanted to drop- and when we talked about it and other things it was just great because we both understood each other and there was actually crying too-but it was actually tears of happiness because we were happy that this weekend we got to know everyone so well and we felt so comfortable. All my sisters ended up coming to our room and we talked to them about so many different things, and we went to the jacuzzi at like 2 in the morning and talked a lot there too. I got to know all the girls so well and I am so happy! I feel a lot more comfortable now and I'm actually going to go make costumes with them for a frat party soon! I'm really excited about that! And I'm going out with them again tomorrow!
Anyways I just wanted to let everyone that gave me advice know that all the info/help/experience you gave me helped significantly and made me realize different things I need to work on. I can't thank you guys enough! I really don't know what else to say besides thank you! And I'm definitely not dropping and sticking it through.

Yay for happy endings, or rather, happy beginnings!

I'm so glad you were able to express how you were feeling and realize your sisters really are there for you.

I had a boyfriend the whole time I was in my sorority (and still with him now). I didn't go out as much as the other girls did, but I did go to a fair amount of parties & socials. In fact, he always encouraged me to go and have fun, as long as I was safe!

Sorry if I'm repeating any questions (I only read the first page), but do you have date parties? Kind of like Semi-Formal & Formal, but more casual and you can all bring your boyfriends/dates/whoever!

Sisterhood retreats are so great. I'm totally serious.

I had 2 boyfriends while I was in college. One I felt guilty about when I went out, and as a result, I didn't go out very much. I never felt guilty when I went out without the second one. Just sayin...

The first one was a raging passive aggressive psycho in a nice guy disguise, and the second one I married.

Oh wow! Haha I'm sorry to hear that! Luckily my boyfriend is not like that at all. I honestly believe he is the most perfect guy ever. When we talked about this same topic, he said he wants me to go out with my sisters more so I can have girl/sister time, since I can't hang out with my best friends that much anymore! So yeah I'm happy I'm not hurting his feelings or anything!
I'm just so happy in general. It's funny how I barely posted this and things coincidently got better so fast all because of retreat!

Yeah we have a semi-formal and a formal! :) But we haven't had date parties.....!

OH well you can plan them exactly like how you would plan a social (with themes & everything)! Except instead of having it with a fraternity, you just bring your own dates :)