Quitting school after an unsuccessful SEC recruitment
 

Is this still going on, or have RFM, deferred recruitment, and/or parents growing spines largely taken care of the problem? If nothing else, I'd like to think more and more moms and dads are saying, "Hell NO, you can't transfer just because XYZ cut you and you were too good for the chapters you had left!"

Except a lot of times the fwap fwaps are the ones exacerbating the problem. In that case, it's the kid who needs a spine.

Coming from a very Greek family I still can't understand taking that drastic of an action after being dropped. If I went through at UA I doubt I would have lasted long and would have been extremely lucky to get a bid. If I didn't get one, or got dropped from recruitment, my feelings would definitely be hurt to be honest. But I'd find something else to do with my time. I can't understand transferring or quitting solely because of a bad recruitment.

I think that sometimes happens because a "bad recruitment" (this has also happened for NPHC aspirants) is a sign of a larger issue. People who feel rejected by life will be easy to drop everything when things don't work out. They have no more fight in them because life has already kicked their ass.

I put the people who transfer or drop out because of GLO rejectment in the same pool of people who lose their minds because they breakup with their college sweetheart. These tend to be people with depression issues and/or people who didn't come to college for college's sake (i.e. career prospects). They focused too heavily on the overall college experience and potentially finding friends via a GLO or finding their future spouse.

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If someone is desperate enough to transfer out then back into a school, I'd think the who idea of being able to say "I'm an XYZ" would surpass the true sorority experience.

I still think it's tacky, though.

I've heard of it many times, not necessarily for rush purposes. In every situation I heard of, the student went to orientation at both schools.

Yup, I did that. But not for rush, that's pretty silly.

I think I've read here that a number of desirable chapters at SEC/ACC/Big 12 schools have stopped taking affiliates at all for this reason.

Oh, yes, absolutely it still happens. Every year.

It's not like there are hundreds - or even a hundred - girls who do this, but there are always a few. I know of one girl who was dropped from recruitment at 3 different schools. She did stay in school that semester, but transferred the next. She never did pledge anywhere. That's just it - word gets around.

I hear every year of 2 or 3 or 4 who drop out, transfer, or in some way let their college experience be dictated by sorority. Sometimes mama insists...but I really think that's rare. DD thinks "I just can't hold my head up" and skedaddles - never realizing it's a BIG campus and they're not going to be seeing the same high school friends every day. Usually they COULD have pledged a sorority but didn't want the sorority they got.:rolleyes:

This is why, many years ago at a certain SEC school I'm familiar with, most of the big ones stopped taking all affiliates. These young ladies, however, do wear their paraphernalia around campus. As they have every right to do.

I can see them refusing to invite her to affiliate.

There's an active thread right now of a girl who was initiated, transferred for a family reason, but the chapter voted against her (2 out of 6 transfers were invited to affiliate. Now she wants to transfer AGAIN to another school with the chapter yet "doesn't plan on trying to affiliate".

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=115894

This basic practice of going to extreme measures to insure that one gets in the fraternity or sorority of their choice has been going on in some form or another for more years than I and even older sorority friends can remember. It was much more prevalent where my husband was originally from and we now live.

Back "when dinosaurs roamed the earth"... it was common knowledge at his very connected high school which schools had a weaker chapter or an easier rush for one of the top tier sororities or fraternities in this region. Girls would deliberately go to that school with the sole intention of rushing (dating myself again!) and then pledging one of the "big four" and then transferring back to their desired school... already a fully initiated member of their sorority chapter the next year. Further, they did not have the reputation of having a "failed recruitment/rush" following them. That was back in the day when we had rush in August and then pledged the entire first semester and we had to "make our grades." If you made your grades you were an "initiate" and we were all initiated around mid-March, leaving very little of our first year as an actual, initiated member. While this practice was much more common with female students there was a contingent of young men, who after informal rush during the summer, realized they would not get a bid to their desired chapter during formal rush... so they also went to a specific school the first year with the sole purpose of joining their desired fraternity. Oddly enough, based upon what my husband and our now mutual friends have told me... this practice generally worked. And since most of these people were known to a number of members in their sorority or fraternity when they transferred back to "Big State U" they were almost always allowed to affiliate.

This practice was also used for "religious reasons" when desired fraternities and sororities still had exclusionary clauses. Going to a much more liberal school that ignored inter/national policy definitely worked for several friends.

This practice, or some version of it, has been going on for more years than we can count. It is a rather sad indictment of the system... but shows that the system and the preference for membership in specific fraternities and sororities has been around for ages... no matter the extremes or cost one had to go through to insure they were in an what was seen to them as an acceptable group. But, as we say... membership is for life, and it used to make a huge difference in Junior League and other activities perceived as "elite" in this highly Greek dominated region.

B*H

Wouldn't that mean paying a semester's worth of tuition at each school? That's a high price to pay just to increase your chances of having a good recruitment at one school or the other.

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IMO, it's silly to transfer just because you had an unsuccessful recruitment. You went to college primarily to learn and to earn a bachelor's degree in your chosen field of study. If you join a GLO along the way, great, but if you don't get into one, or don't get into a "top tier" GLO, it's not the end of the world.

At most schools, you get a full or major refund if you don't matriculate. Even if you do attend briefly, you generally get most of it back.

Except not.

If everyone's up each others' asses in these circles to the point that it seems, I'm pretty sure that if Trudy Transfer walks into a Jr League meeting and says "I was a Mu Nu at Texas!" that some of the JLers are going to either 1) know that she was only a Mu Nu because she pledged at BFE Travel School and then transferred to UT and they were stuck taking her or 2) find out that information very quickly. Same as saying you were in a certain group at BigStateU (but actually at the branch campus).

I mean when you're going to get busted anyway I just don't see the point. Especially nowadays when the internet preserves everything for posterity.

Ha ha at joining a specific sorority so you can join Junior League when you grow up. How hilarious is that! Amazing that I had higher aspirations that that.

Er, when I transferred out of my snooty day school to a Catholic school in my hometown, the day school headmaster told my parents that my life would be ruined because, having not gone to the "right" high school, I would not get into the "right" sorority, which would eventually lead to "catastrophic" events like failure to get elected to leadership positions in the Junior League.

I went to the Catholic school, got into a good college, loved my sorority, went on to get a PhD, and never had time to join the Junior League. My life was not ruined. BUT there are still people who think that way and who still judge that my life was, in part, a failure because I did not follow "the script."

I think transfering after a failed rush is more common than just dropping out. My high school BFF went to the University of Georgia, had a failed rush and transfered to Georgia Tech after her sophomore year. She said she just didn't want to go to UGA any more. There was a girl in my dorm my freshman year who had a failed rush. We were taking a class together our sophomore year and that spring she showed up to class one day wearing a Carleton College sweatshirt. I asked if she was dating a guy from Carleton and she said no, she had just been accepted there as a transfer student for her junior year and wanted to celebrate. I don't know for sure but suspect failed rushes had a lot to do with it in both cases.

There is a difference between the girl who picked a college for academic reasons and the girl who picked a college because of (as I say above) "the script." If you grow up just assuming you'll go to your state school and pledge somewhere good and then that plan gets messed up, then it can be very isolating and disorienting if Greek life is huge at your school and you keep running into people you know from home. Now obviously if you selected your school for academic reasons and rush didn't go well, then that isn't a good reason to transfer, but if you went to college (as many people do) largely for the social life, then it is a bit more understandable. And I say this as a PhD who takes academics very seriously. Thank goodness my parents were supportive and encouraging of my deviating from "the script."

And I'm sure you were happier for not following "the script." The feminist in me rejoices! ;)

WOW @ this entire thread. I would never...

Holy crow! You're at college to get an education, first and foremost. Unless it's due to grades, financial situation or a family emergency, why would anyone drop out just because they didn't get the house they wanted (or no house at all)? Are egos THAT fragile? (I guess so...)

That's what I said...

I think the difference here is that, in my case (and that of my husband and most of my friends) "the script" WAS to pick a college for academic reasons. So the concept of "ZOMG I HAVE to be an AEPhi at LSU or I'll just DIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!" is foreign to me. (I'm picking on LSU because of its hugely competitive recruitment, and I'm picking on AEPhi because, well, I am one :) and our chapter there is dormant.) I just don't get why anyone would transfer away from a school that has a strong program in their chosen field of study, JUST to join a particular GLO (even if you do then transfer back).

Part of me has to believe that women who do this are working on an MRS degree, not pursuing a career. But, perhaps that's just the Northern Feminist in me talking.

It also could be that in the town/circles they choose to move in, even if they do have a career outside the home, these things are deemed necessary.

I mean I know at my old job tons of people working there were alums from a particular local university. I have no doubt that if it was down to two people with the exact same credentials, one from Particular Local U and one from Other Local U, PLU would get it every time. It may be like that only on an even more rarified scale.

It's very often like that, 33girl, especially in certain states. Connections and who you know are everything.

It was my theory for a long time that GLO affiliation became such a big deal in the Southeast because for the most part, the universities (while offering strong programs and good faculty) have historically been very easy to get into. If every Joe Shmo from Hooterville can go to Southern State, then the elites need another way to distinguish themselves besides the Southern State degree.

But this can't be right, because it can be a very big deal at Princeton whether you got into Cottage Club or got "hosed" and had to go to a sign-in club. Joe Shmo from Hooterville does not get into Princeton -- or if he does, he's a firecracker talent who will not be Joe Shmo much longer. Under my theory, the Princetonians shouldn't need the extra badge of club membership to distinguish themselves, but they do, so there goes my theory.
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An acquaintance of mine worked more than 30-plus years ago at a MAC (Mid-American Conference) school. Back then, she said that her school and a couple of others in the state didn't start class until mid-to-late September.

She said that a few young woman would register late at her school; these women came often from Southern states. These girls told her than the academic life at the flagship universities in their home states had been too high-pressured for them and that the second tier schools in their home states had lousy reputations. My acquaintance noted most of these woman weren't majoring in academically demanding subjects (no physics major here).

Her boss hold her that these women had often decided to come to the MAC school after sorority rush (as it was called then) had occured at their original schools. Her boss explained that some of these women would transfer back home after pledging a sorority during fall rush. Others would remain to graduate, but would return home after graduation, get a job with their degree and then join the alumnae organizations of their sororities.

I thought I would share this with all of you.

You're right, from my experience. I met a number of women at Texas A&M who were there just for their MRS degree. They usually majored in elementary ed.

Ouch!

To be fair, I've met a lot of women from all kinds of schools who went to grad or undergrad for their MRS, as well as men for the equivalent.

I meet a lot of women who already are an Mrs. and are 18-22. That blows my mind as being married in college is a completely foreign idea to me, as foreign as dropping out and changing schools over Greek membership or lack thereof.

Here I definitely think it is related to certain religious faiths, specifically LDS and super conservative Christians. Even the less devout people I know get married in a year or so of graduation, and I still think that is crazy because I believe in graduate school. Not just being married but having multiple kids while in school, whether you're the mother or father just seems like an added stress (and kill joy) for college life at 18-25.

But I know we both haven't won at life yet, though having letters after our name and a job, as well as the ability to do whatever the hell we want without checking the schedules of a spouse or kids is our norm.

never in a million years would i transfer schools because i had a bad recruitment. my parents would kill me. sadly i know plenty of girls who make sorority life the center of their college experience instead of education. so sad..

I disagree 100% with your defense. There is no defense.

ETA: Moreover, Greekdom does not need men and women who are so mentally and emotionally fragile that they would transfer because of an unsuccessful rush.

^^^ What she said. I rushed and didn't get into a fraternity. I didn't let that chase me away from NJIT. I just took it as a chance to get more active on campus. That ended up with me getting a bid, but even if it hadn't, I met some of my best friends doing it.

Until you go home and encounter the very same girls who are all from your hometown and in your social circle. And they all know you were ridiculous enough to put membership in the right sorority ahead of your education. Everyone will know why you took that long walk of shame to the other state school.