Sorors, SFs, One & All
 

Hello Everyone,
It is that time of the year again. Some prospectives are getting acceptance letters and others are being rejected.

I have some questions for ALL BGLO sorority members. Did YOU join your sorority through a collegiate or alumnae chapter?

For those who joined via the ALUMNAE chapter,
A. Did you apply for membership during your college years?
B. While waiting for the chance to join, what did you do in the meantime?
C. While others around you were becoming members, how did you stay focused on the mission of joining the sisterhood that you felt lead to pursue?

To ALL BGLO Sorority members, what advice would you give those who were not chosen this year for membership?

For my SFs who are waiting/hoping to become a member what are you doing to keep your interests and to increase your attractiveness?

My Words of Encouragement:
1. Sometimes a DENIAL is a DELAY.
2. Ecclesiastes 3:1 -- There is a time for EVERYTHING, and a season for EVERY ACTIVITY under heaven.

Great Topic!
 

Sorors and Sisterfriends:
First of all, that is my all time favorite bible verse. I am a very impatient person myself in all areas/aspects of my life. I am still learning that I cannot rush what GOD has planned for me in his time; For when things are rushed they never turn out for the good!

I have had 2 very good friends receive rejection letters and needless to say I hurt for them....I want them to soooo experience the good things that I have through my sorority. So, this has been a hard time for me too and many others who have already acquired membership but are still on pins and needles as they await some sort of word on friends and family members.

The advice that I have given to them and that I would like to pass on to others is this: One of the things that really impressed me about some of my neos was the fact that some of them tried out with me, and they didn't make my line. However, as hard as I know it was for them, they were out at our probate show, supported our parties and our programs all throughout the year...therefore when they pursued membership again that very next year my sands and I were so receptive to them and needless to say, we had much respect for them because we do know that it is hard to watch someone probate and you know so bad that you want to be up there doing the founders step with them! It takes a lot to come out and still support everyone who crossed without you, especially when you tried out with them. Buy it does speak volumes to my Sorors when they see you out supporting them when you could very well still be sitting up in your room sulking and going through all the coulda...woulda...shouldas ;)

Delta however has been here for 88 years and we will continue to be here. Keep doing what you are doing and make sure you stay on top of your game! Even when you graduate. Community service and involvement does not stop when you walk across the stage and receive your degree. Delta does not stop once you graduate either...IT IS A LIFETIME COMMITTMENT! And remember, when the man upstairs sees that you are right, then the time will be right for you!

OOOOO-OOOOP Sorors!
Conspiracy2
02~LZ~00

Re: Sorors, SFs, One & All
 

I joined Delta Sigma Theta through my alumnae chapter.

A. Yes, I was accepted for an undergraduate line but I decided to wait for alumnae due to a changing economic situation that happened after I was accepted. Looking back I made the right decision.

B. In the meantime, I continued my public service/volunteer work, kept my college grades strong and kept the faith.

C. See "B". I knew that if I was going to be a member it was going to happen in time. I kept my eye on the prize for eight years.

Advice? Use this experience as a stepping stone. I agree with my Soror that sometimes a Denial is a Delay. If you know where you are deficient strengthen that area and know that all things happen in time. If its what you want don't give up! I have one friend that was denied membership but became a member the next time. She had waited more than 20 years. When it does happen---you will be in the right mindset to enjoy it.

Red Angel

Hey Ladies!
 

I joined my sorority through a graduate chapter.

A.) Yes, I applied for membership when I was an undergrad.
B.) I did the same things I had been doing, except with a lot more tears. I continued my service, and I continued striving for my dream.
C.) A sista was BITTER!!! I couldn't even congratulate my Kappa friends properly, I was so bitter. I apologized for that recently. :( But nothing took away from my purpose and my drive. It's hard to not keep striving when your roommate is a member of that org! It was hard, but I continued to support them, even after they had graduated. Keep being seen. Try not to be bitter. It's hard, but nothing worth having is easy to get.

As far as advice, it's like everyone has said. There is a reason that you might get rejected. Everything is under God's plan, so don't even worry about it. I KNOW it hurts. But that's life. Take it in stride, and keep striving. I know now why I couldn't have my letters when I wanted them. God had a plan for me, and for my LS's. So see, if I had pledged undergrad, I wouldn't have met my LS and I wouldn't have been able to help her when she needed me, and vice versa. So, while I was bitter then, I understand now. You can't see it while you're in it, though. So it's really hard to give advice, because when you are hurting, you're not trying to hear it. At all. But believe me, if it is meant for you, SF's, you will have it. God said so. So trust and believe. Keep striving. :)

i really needed this
 

Hi. I just read your post on greekchat in which you posed the question:

I have some questions for ALL BGLO sorority members. Did YOU join your sorority through a collegiate or alumnae chapter?

For those who joined via the ALUMNAE chapter,
A. Did you apply for membership during your college years?
B. While waiting for the chance to join, what did you do in the meantime?
C. While others around you were becoming members, how did you stay focused on the mission of joining the sisterhood that you felt lead to pursue?

This post really touched my heart! I’m at my desk getting a little teary b/c JUST YESTERDAY I thought I should put my goal of pursuing membership in a Sorority on the backburner, into that “it would have been nice” list I keep in the back of my mind. As I read your message and the replies, I am encouraged to continue in my journey. Thank you ALL for posting such a timely message and allowing this forum to serve as a positive place for members of BGLO’s and interests of ALL organizations to interact and encourage each other. Stay Blessed.

Thank you so much . . .
 

for starting this thread. I don't know how to say that your timing is more perfect. I have been in search of the sisterhood since the age of 18 (now 27) and this year has been more to say than difficult. I came close to breaking, but never found it in my heart to give up. It is a very good understanding that God's timing is his own.
To answer your question . . . as always I am keeping my head held high, continuing my services with enthusiasm, and furthering my education of your sisterhood. I am also making sure that I keep my ears and eyes opened more than my mouth. It is a wise women that can listen.

Patiently learning
and
Learning patience

PS
Thank you again :D

I joined as an alumna. I didn't apply for membership as an undergraduate, but I had expressed an interest. However, other student activities prevented me from making a serious committment to any GLO.

There are times when I wish I had gone the undergraduate route, but more often than not I'm just happy that I became a member, regardless of the level.

The words of advice to prospectives who aren't accepted is: Don't Quit! If you're not accepted after your first attempt at membership, this might be the universe's way of telling you that it just isn't your time right now. If you carry the light and love of your selected organization in your heart, remain dilligent, and keep your eye on your ultimate goal, eventually it will come to you.

DITTO!!

Timing is perfect
 

Sorors, Fellow Greeks, SF's

This is a topic dear to my heart. You see I just crossed those burning sands into Deltaland on April 22,2001. It wasn't through an undergrad chapter, it was through an almunae chapter. But this was not my first time applying. You see this was my 3rd time seeking membership into Delta Sigma Theta.

I still have the 2 rejection letters I received while an undergrad. I wasn't rejected because I didn't have the qualifications (graduated with honors and inducted in the National Honor Society). I think, no I know it was because I wasn;t humble enough in my pursuit. You couldn't tell me I wasn't going to cross in '97. But it didn't happen, then I tried again in '99 and since I knew most of the Deltas, I was overlyconfident and it showed in my interview. I thought I didn't make it because I was a senior and that I wasn't legacy (legacy had pull at my school). Whichever the case, I didn't make it and it was hard to deal with. I had classes with a lot of the Deltas and the ones who crossed in '97 I was cool with and I went to their probate but believe you me, when that clock struck 12:13pm on a Saturday afternoon and I saw 75 girls locked up marching down the campus singing Delta songs, that was the hardest thing for me witness. I felt like I should have been the tail on that line (#76). I got the chance to see them before the rest of the campus since I was coming from the football stadium and they were heading towards the dorms. Watching them march and do their show I had mixed feelings. I was happy and excited for my friends who crossed but yet sad that I wasn't able to experience it with them.

Ok, now that I've told my story I will answer the question (I think I did already but I will again).

A. Yes I applied while an undergrad (2x)

B. I never stopped doing community service (anyone doing it just to seek membership doesn't understand the true meaning when we say that Delta is a public service sorority). I also never stopped networking either. For those that are interested and are having a hard time running into Deltas, you aren't doing enough community service. We are out there and active (I can only speak on behalf of my chapter).

C. I stayed focus (undergrad) particularly on my grades. Not that I shouldn't have but since I spen so much time studying Delta, I put my time and energy back into my grades, graduating and getting a job. On the grad level, I really made an effort into getting to meet women in the sorority. This is very important on the alumnae level. Stay true to yourself and all that you do.

ADVICE: Like Jay-Z said, "STAY FOCUS MAN!" No seriously, from what other sorors and fellow greeks have said, you just have to be patient. I know it's easier said then done but believe you me, timing is everything. I was on such an emotional rollar coaster having gone through this process but I knew why God had me wait. The 3rd time around I was more mature in how I dealt with people (particularly linesisters/big sisters) and going through the process. It is a very humbling experience and I think that's why God made me wait 7 years!!!!! I love the chapter that I was initiated into, I love my linesisters and I love me some Delta!!! That's what it's all about.

Good luck and God Bless

p.s. sorry for the long message

Soulful Inspiration
#14 HAC Spr. 2k1

:) Greetings!

I came into the Sisterhood as a Undergrad, and as a Older Undergrad 28 yrs. old.

See when the time is right God will let you know.

If it is in your heart, it will not matter how many times you try, because you will have the shear determination to try again.


Keep God first and he will show you the way!

Greetings Sorors and SFs,

I joined through an undergrad chapter...and like Soror 14dst01, I too was rejected twice. Anyway, it was very hard to accept the fact that I was rejected, but I didn't let those disappointments keep me from my goal of eventually becoming a member of DST. Actually, two of my best friends made line in 99 and I had to face them everyday, but I learned how to put a smile on my face and keep going with everything else that was going on in my life. I continued to support the chapter, by attending events and doing my community service w/ them, not because I wanted to get in good, but because I truly believed in the programs of the chapter. And even though it didn't seem like it at the time, I think my rejections were in my best interests because each time, things came up in my life that would have been impossible to deal with had I been on-line. And whew, when I finally did make it....OH What A Day! It was the time of my life and I wouldn't trade my LSs for the world!

Okay, to all ladies that were not chosen for membership, please remember not to give up on your dreams. Membership in a sorority is NOT promised to everyone, and you have to just continue with your life and submit the next time. I am a testimony that even if you are rejected once (and twice!) doesn't mean that you won't be a great asset when you are finally accepted. Also, if you didn't make it, please don't "HATE" on the ladies that did. They had nothing to do with the selection process, and THEY will be the ones to review your packet if/when you do decide to submit again! ;) To those who will be submitting in the spring, GOOD LUCK! :D

Good afternoon everyone. First I want to say thank you for starting this topic! And I also want to say thank you to those who have posted replies to the topic. I love how the board members share certain experiences with others. You are an inspiration I must say.
Take care everyone.

Currently at this time, I am keeping God first at all times!!!!!I am still doing my volunteer work and working so hard to keep my grades up. Honestly, ladies, this has been the hardest year for me and my grades slipped right from under my nose. By the grace of God, I will have average credentials to submit next semester. However, I don't want the ladies of Delta Sigma Theta to see me as an average person, I want them to see me as above average. However, I am participating in programs and supporting them 100% but I have decided to wait submit through a grad chapter

I joined through a collegiate chapter (first time), but the initiating chapter was the local alumnae chapter. I thought the comment that was made that someone didn't understand "overly confident" was interesting. Before I attempted to join a sorority, I might have said the same thing, but having pledged a few lines, I have my definition of over confidence. It is confidence that goes beyond confidence in oneself and jumps into arrogance that someone knows they are exactly what someone else is looking for in a member. Or sometimes it's that woman who has all the outward manifestations of high esteem, but it is usually masking insecurity. It is a lack of balance between grace and confidence; and it is oh-so-unattractive in a candidate. A soror and I were having a conversation recently about how many times someone should be able to apply for membership - on the one hand, you want to commend perserverence, but on the other hand I have seen too many times that women get rejected two or three times and finally get in, but they remain salty and bitter about the experience "they didn't have" and they don't do the sisterhood any good. I know sorors that keep their rejection letters - that may not apply to all in the situation, but it happens.

I am a humble child of God, I am of good moral character, I am in good academic standing, I have been in public service my whole life, I have never missed a Delta event held at my campus, I have been to Delta national and regional conventions, I have met national presidents and other officers of Delta, I am a legacy, and I was denied membership. As you can imagine the devistation was incredible not only for me but my mother and the rest of the women in my family who are deltas. We have been waiting for this moment in my life to occur just as any other major step in life. I never had the attitude of what Delta could do for me, it was what I could do for Delta. I never wanted to strut with letters and stroll at parties. That wasn't important to me. I wanted to work on National programs and further the purpose of the organization. But I am not bitter, and I understand that if it wasn't my time it wasn't my time. I will continue to support Delta, as hard as it may be, because my love for the organization will never die. Yes it is hard but I cannot question the will of God. Everything happens for a reason and it is important to keep a positive attitude. I just want to encourage those on their journey to greekdom not to give up. It isn't easy but if you are in it for the right reasons, and it is in your heart, it will happen, in due time.

God Bless

Thank you humble for your comment. I think that is the word that definitely has been missed throughout the conversation.

I want to take it back to when I said "overlyconfident." I agree with what Crucial Crimson said in that being arrogant and thinks that they should be the one sought after rather than approaching the sorority itself. That's fine if that's the type of person you are but that don't work in DELTA!!!! We are all women of purpose and one does not outshine the other.

Getting back to why I said OVERLY CONFIDENT. I made that statement based on the things I said and how I carried myself during my interview the second go round. You see I went in there thinking to myself, "I know all this information, I just need to know when the money is due and when should expect a phone call." I felt that since these were the same women I sat next to at the rush 2 years prior and I got to know them, that I was guaranteed acceptance. But with anything in life, stuff doesn't always happen the way we want it to and for that God had me wait a few more years because He knew I wasn't ready (Delta would have gone to my head if I crossed undergrad).

Yes you can carry yourself in a dignified way and full of pride and what have you but at the same time there comes a point where you need to be humble. Those who have gone through the process know what I'm talking about. I have a best friend that crossed Fall '95 at XU and when I was going through this she told me to pray for several things:

1. Meekness
2. Humbleness
3. Patience

I know there are a couple of other things but I can only remember those 2 right now.

But you get the point. Those who are interested please keep those 3 points in mind when praying because those are important characteristics to have when seeking membership and it will show in not only your interview but also in the way you carry and conduct yourself.

Thanks again for taking the time to read this long message.

Continue to be Blessed.

Soulful Inspiration
#14
Spr. 2k1
:)

Redirect
 

While I appreciate the dialogue, this was not meant to be a DEBATE but instead a time for MEMBERS of BGLO sororities to offer POSITIVE SISTERLY ADVICE to prospectives of BGLOS. This is also a time for prospectives to take the SISTERLY ADVICE and use it for further encouragement.

Let us build one another UP not tear each other DOWN.

Continue on with the original purpose of this thread.

Alumnae membership is not necessarily INVITE ONLY!!!
To prove my case, last night in FL, the Broward County Alumnae
Chapter had a rush. It was open to the public. For my situation yes it was invite only but each chapter does things differently within the guidelines.

Soulsearchin, I understand what you mean about give or take and I also agree with there being a time and place for everything. But what I also have experienced in both undergrad and alumnae rushes (yes I've been to 3) is the difference between those who know how to conduct themself and those that don't have a clue or just think this is some kind of extracurricular activity. Membership into DELTA is a lifetime committment so let's not be confused!!!

My view on being humble deals more so with once you are online. But it can also apply to things such as how you are at the rush and interview. I know how I was when I was an undergrad and HUMBLE was not one of them. That's just my experience and how I see things.

Sisterly Advice
 

I pledged undergrad, but I hope this helps... It helped me.

Be your best . If you are the best you can be, then continue to strive for excellence. If it is truly for you, you will achieve it.

Be honest. Always be honest with yourself about why you want to join an organization, and what your qualifications are.

Seek guidance from God for your life. Sometimes God has other plans. Sometimes they don't include XYZ Sorority. Sometimes they don't include being Greek. If you seek what God wants for you, you will never be disappointed or lacking for anything.

I commend anyone who endures rejection to join a Greek organization.

If you are a person who did not get in despite humility, hard work, prayer and patience, never let yourself be defined or embittered by someone's shortsightedness.

TRSimon

Hello ladies of Delta Sigma Theta


I joined Undergrad (Fall'93) and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything in this world. I enjoyed every minute of it!!! My advice for the young ladies who aren't choosen this time is to hold your head up and keep that smile on your face. Because it will get better... Keep your grades up and continue doing your community service. Keep trying you will succeed!!! ;)

You are confusing two different things.

Alumnae membership is by invitation.

A rush is and always has been a public function. Attendance at a rush means nothing if you cannot get a majority vote of the chapter... and if they don't know you - and haven't invited you... you can basically forget about being invited to membership.

I pledged undergrad, I'm still in undergrad for that matter.. But I crossed the burning sands into Delta land on April 21, 2001. My situation is different from most in that when I expressed my interest to the women of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc., they were seeking membership in order to keep the chapter alive. My school and the school I pledged at are two predominantly white northern schools. And since there weren't any qualified girls at their school or many minorities at all for that matter, they branched out and opened membership to ladies at my school and another school in the area. Even with the knowledge that there wasn't much competition and most likely these women would accept me since they needed to keep the chapter alive, I still remained humble. I worked hard for Delta. Everyday I was on the internet or reading In Search of Sisterhood or calling Deltas to find out all I could about Delta. I made sure I knew all the Founders, the basic history, Five Point Thrust, etc... I was constantly calling members of the chapter, not to pester them or to suck up - but to get to know them. I never took anything for granted. I was THOROUGH. (Even more thorough now :D)

I know it's most likely more difficult in HBCU's... but for those sisterfriends who attend HBCU's or other schools with a lot of competition, I say keep striving for Delta.. Make yourself noticed, not in being a pest, but in being humble. Get involved on campus, be outspoken, be an overacheiver. However, you shouldn't do these things for Delta, but for yourself. And one other piece of advice FOR UNDERGRADS IN PARTICULAR, is to carry yourself correctly. Wearing skankish clothing, spreading gossip, being publicly intoxicated or under the influence, and acting wild at parties and just acting unladylike in general will do nothing but ruin your chances.

Good luck to all sisterfriends!!! Keep striving!!!!

#1 Braveheart
SP 01, Rho Iota

"What God Has For Me Is For Me"
 

I will like to say "thank you" to all the members of the NPHC, for encouraging me. Here is my story:

I was interested in a BGLO as an undergraduate student as of my junior year. I wasn't extended an invitation for a reason I wish not to discuss. I was very active on my campus, involved in various activities. I did untotaled number of hours volunteering off campus etc. In not so many words I wasn't accepted.

I graduated a year later. I moved back home and started seeking a graduate chapter in my area. I went through extreme measures to find the name and address of the advisor. When I found the information, I instantly mailed the advisor my interest letter. I never received a response. Each year I sent my letter to the advisor of the the GLO of my interest. (two years had passed). March of this year, I received a response. A great response, and I choose to leave it at that.

My point is, timing is everything. Maybe I wasn't ready during my college years. Since that time I have been more involved in my community, church and have sought so much information of the GLO of my interest. I've really been doing my homework. I can honestly say that now is the right time. I didn't know as much as I know now about the GLO of my interest as I do now, and I am sure there is an abundance of information to learn once i become a member I wish I could have had the undergrad experience but I didn't and I have to move on.

Thank you all again for encouraging me.

Re: "What God Has For Me Is For Me"
 

I love your title. That has become my mantra these last few months. I have had things happen or people placed in my life or taken out and I repeatedly have to remind myself, What GOD has for me, IT (he) is for ME.


To Everyone, whatever it is, be it the sorority you want to join, the college you want to go to, the job you want, the man you want to be with, if IT/HE is in GOD'S WILL for you, it is YOURS!!

I just want to add that YOU are still complete without whatever it is you are looking to GOD for direction for. That thing/person only enhances who you are but it DOES NOT MAKE YOU.

I came into AKA through a graduate chapter. When I was an undergraduate, I was busy with the school newspaper and seeking internships in my field. Because of that, I did not feel that I was able to devote the proper time and energy that the organization deserved.

In the interim years, I just made sure my stuff was together in case the time was going to come. Fortunately, it did and I'm pleased. Working for my sorority is pure joy.
:)

AMEN!!!! Both discrete's and Crimsontide's replies were very well said.

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Phillipians 4:13

as i read through these posts, i reflected on my journey to delta. i became interested in delta my freshman year fall '92. one of the deltas on the yard took an interest in me and began encouraging me to get involved, inviting me out to events, etc. in the spring, my older sister went to rush while i cried because i didn't have the hours to apply. but i helped her, went to her probate, continued to stay involved and waited. the chapter was suspended during my sophomore year for 3 years. they came back the semester AFTER i graduated. my younger sister crossed that semester. i went to her probate jan 97. the local alumnae chapter had rush 2 weeks later. i was invited and made line. i crossed march 26, 1997.

the point is i watched both of my blood sisters become deltas while i waited for my opportunity. i wanted delta so badly i could taste it. but, it was not my time. there were girls who put off graduating to make the line that came back after the suspension. i finished school, got a job, and waited my turn. thank goodness i was ready! remember if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready when you get the call. if delta is in your heart, then your time will come. but the best advice i can give you is to put it in it's proper perspective, delta is extra-curricular. keep doing what you came to school to do. don't put off your goals to pursue it. that is contrary to the spirit of the sorority. it should enhance what you are already doing, not be the only thing you do.

for all of the perfect prospective members, in addition to meeting the minimum requirements you must receive the chapter vote!

be nice to the women you go to rush with, they might make it and you don't!
don't do any ugly talk about the chapter you are seeking membership in. they will find out.
don't tell fraternity men yur business, they tell us!
finally, humility is not kissing anyone's tail. it is understanding that membership is not owed to you.

sorors:
do not set your relatives up to fail. stop buying them those future delta shirts. teaching them to oo-oop and hold up the pyramid. that is where the attitude starts. they need to grow up and make their own decisions and seek delta for themselves not because you said they were going to be one when they grow up!

This thread is truly inspirational & Thanks you for starting it!!
I have been pursuing Delta & studying my heart out for many years now. When I first had the opportunity to pursue membership I wasn't ready (in a number of ways). After that having to sit out of school for financial reasons didn't help either. Once I was able to return to school, I did so at a school in my home city, due to the fact that I don't attend one of the campus' that you have to attend for the local city-wide chapter I am not able to even attempt to pursue membership. Believe me I did try last year, and was given this information by one of the members. I have watched friends get accepted and even friends of my younger sister.
So, I said all that to say, being that I am a senior (an older one at that:eek: I have no choice but to wait and pursue membership at the Alumnae level. This is not deterring me though, I am still on track with this pursuit and my service, and I will not stop, if I'm not accepted at first attempt then I will try again, and again, and again............
I am a child of God and I know that if it is in his will then it will be done! To all my SF's out there on the pursuit into any organization, be humble, continue your service, Pray, and be patient, let's continue to strive for excellence together.:)

I attained membership through an undergraduate chapter. An experience that I will forever cherish.

As many have said, if attaining membership into a sorority is your hearts desire and you are unable to achieve that goal during your undergraduate years, it is important to stay positive and keep your eye on the prize. If it is meant to be, it shall be.

One thing I always emphasize, don't do service, maintain excellent academic status and forge friendships with people STRICTLY for the sake of joining a sorority. These are things you should be striving to do on a daily basis with or WITHOUT that organization. If you are ONLY doing those things to attain membership into said sorority, you may want to rethink that decision, you went to college FOR academics, so that should be your focus ANYWAY, service is something you should WANT to do, not something you are doing merely to meet membership requirements, if you are only doing it so Soror Such and Such will notice you and write that letter of Recommendation, you will have a RUDE awakening when that is EXPECTED of you once you attain membership.

All of that to say, make sure your head and heart are in the right place when you begin your journey. If they are, everything will fall into place!

Much success in everyones journey!

Hello all,

First, I say hello and much love to my DiSTant sand DSTSolo01. I too crossed into DELTALAND on April 21, 2001.

I pledged an undergraduate chapter and I am still an undergrad. I love everything about my experience from the never-ending work to the added responsibility of being a DELTA. I encourage every person interested in membership in any BGLO to take it seriously. Just as you put your best forward in your school work or on the job, we expect the same (be prepared). To those who are not chosen for membership this time around, do not be discourged. Everything happens as it should. It may not go your way, but God is always right. Find out what your short comings were and correct them. Try again and next time shine. I wish everyone the best. Keep GOD first and everything will be alright.

Ladies, ladies, ladies...y'all just don't KNOW! I have attened RUSH twice and been rejected twice. It hurts, especially when you know it was nothing you did. A friend of mine from high school went as well, needless to say this was her first time attending any event of this organizationad we've been here for 3 yrs. I was a faithful attendee. She made it, I didn't. Our friendship is in a very bad situation right now. I don't know what to do. It's not jealousy, but other things. I could use advice, help. I'm not going to give up. This week is this org's week here and I have attended every function. But it did hurt to see those girls come out at their show knowing I should have been there too.

At the present moment you both are filled with a lot of emotions. If you all were friends before this you will be friends after this. Just give it some time. Also, don't get discouraged. Please know that you cannot compare yourself to anyone who made it. Focus on you, because you are a unique individual who is loved by God. The only thing you will accomplish by comparing yourself to anyone who made it, is drive yourself insane. I know it hurts, but just try to keep a positive attitude and know that if it's meant to be it will be.

How do you know it was nothing you did (or maybe didn't do)? No offense meant but since you seem so sure, I am just curious.

"For my SFs who are waiting/hoping to become a member what are you doing to keep your interests and to increase your attractiveness?"

I'm just so happy that finals are over and I actually have some free time to interact with you guys!

With Spring semester approaching, I was really terrified of the possibility of another intake. But something that was said (written) earlier really struck a chord with me. That is, to remain humble in my pursuit. I have worked extra hard to be the best PERSON I can be, especially this year. I have drastically improved my G.P.A., I have become even more active on campus and in the community, and my relationship with Christ gets better everyday.. I haven't done these things just because I want to be greek, but because I know that this is whats right for me. I know now that nothing, including Delta is owed to me. I am happy in the knowledge that whether I make it or not (hopefully I'll make it :)) I'm still the best person I can be.

Tamika :D

Re: "What God Has For Me Is For Me"
 

I remember when I replied to this thread. Now, I am proud to say that I am officially a member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated. The hard work has definitely paid off. As I said before, "Timing is Everything". In the meantime be patient, What God has for you will be for you. Thank you Sisterfriends for posting this thread, it really encouraged me.

Congratulations Discrete1! I am sure you will be an outstanding member of Z Phi B.

Thank You Ladygreek for your Congrats!!!:D ;) :D

Imma keep it REAL
 

Regarding rejection letters...all of that "stay strong", "don't be discouraged" stuff SOUNDS real good...

BUT IF YOU HAVE NEVER RECEIVED A REJECTION LETTER, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS LIKE OR HOW YOU WILL REACT.

It is discouraging. You don't feel strong and focused - you feel WEAK and DISAPPOINTED and BITTER. EXTREMELY BITTER. Especially when you see people who made line and you KNOW that your credentials are better than theirs. To tell someone who has been rejected that they cannot "compare themselves to someone who made it" is crazy - that's ALL you do when you see that line walk by... You sit and point out women who made line and think, "She failed math last semester and barely has a 2.5 - I thought they said only 2.75 and above would make it?...Lawd, she has slept with half the football team - how in the world did she make it?...I been rushing for 2 years and I've never even SEEN that chick before - how did SHE make it?" And so on. People coming up to you and saying "congratulations, I heard they picked up the Delta line" and your reply is, YEAH, BUT I'M NOT ON IT. Until you've actually been there - it's impossible to fathom.

"Don't take it personally"? How else are you supposed to take it? It IS personal. And I'm sorry Soror DST_philosop4, but prospectives get rejected "with malicious intent" every Spring and Fall - that's just the ugly truth about fraternities and sororities. Malicious is "deliberately harmful; spiteful" - and sometimes, it's like that. I'm just keepin it real here.

So I'm not going to give that "keep ya head up" pep talk, because I've been there, and that's the LAST thing you want to hear when you get a reject letter, believe me.

I joined Delta through an Alumnae chapter 8 years after being rejected as an undergrad. As an undergrad, I attended several rushes, and if I had a dime for every Delta function I supported, I would use it to pay my dues for next year. What did I do after I got rejected? Well, at the time, I was being initiated into an honors fraternity, so that took most of my attention (and NO, that's not why I got rejected, because two of my honors fraternity linesisters made the Delta line that semester). My grades were already excellent, I was already doing public service, so I just continued doing the same things I was already doing before I got rejected.

I just always knew I'd become a Delta, and if that chapter didn't want me, then it was their loss - there are Delta chapters all over the place, and I knew I'd find one that would be HAPPY to have me. As others, including my sister, became Deltas, I was very happy for them - I knew that one day I would join them, and I did.

To "southernbelle" - about your friend making it and you not making it - you will learn if this women is TRULY your friend or not. I had many so-called friends who made it when I didn't, and once I was rejected, they tripped out...suddenly they were too good for me, better than me...or so they thought. I learned who my REAL friends were when I got rejected, and made some new ones too.

The advice I'd give to someone who gets a reject letter is...

GET MAD!! KICK SOMETHING!! SCREAM AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS!!

Then shake it off and get on with your life. And wait - your time will come when it's supposed to come, and not before. Oh, and don't forget to SAVE THAT LETTER FOR YOUR SCRAPBOOK WHEN YOU DO FINALLY MAKE IT. My reject letter is right in front, followed by my invitation.

I won't lie and say you aren't going to be bitter, because you ARE GOING TO BE BITTER. When it's meant to be, if it's meant to be, then you'll achieve it. My path to Delta was much longer than I thought it would be, but it was DEFINITELY the right path FOR ME.

Thank You
 

Thank you Three_Love, it almost seems you were speaking to me at times with your post. Your words of encouragement are appreciated.

Tamika