Thinking about rush for the second time? Here's why you SHOULD! (FSU story)
 

I have been surfing greekchat and saw all of these heartbreaking recruitment stories about girls who don't get what they wanted or were released altogether. So I thought it might help to share my story and hopefully inspire girls to try just one more time. I'll tell the story in four different installments since it is covering two different years of recruitment (so please bare with me!)

But first, here's a little bit of background on me: I went through FSU's recruitment twice, my first time was in 2009 and the second being this year in 2010. I'm just your normal sweet southern girl, born and raised. I was very athletic in highschool, involved in all of the school musicals, chorus, SGA, you name it and I probably was a part of it. So as you can imagine greek life in college seemed absolutely perfect.

RECRUITMENT 2009:
Part 1- It was the first day of sorority recruitment and I was absolutely excited to see all of the wonderful houses on campus. FSU at the time had 15 houses, and I'll disguise their names so as to protect the chapters. Let's call them...

Snare
Violin
Cello
Flute
Clarinet
Guitar
Trumpet
Piano
Bassoon
Xylophone
Horn
Bass
Harp
Trombone
Oboe

We met with our Rho Gamma and I instantly clicked with my group. They were down to earth, amazing, gorgeous girls. So we go to our first five houses that day and the other ten houses the next day. By the end of the day I knew exactly who I was going to drop that round;
Cello, Piano, Horn, and Trombone. The houses I fell in love with that round were; Harp, Flute, Guitar, Xylophone, and Bass. I went to bed that night feeling really good about my decisions and couldn't wait for the next day.

We get up and meet our Rho Gamma around 9:30 in the morning and of course we go one by one to learn our schedules for the day. The houses I got asked back to were;

Snare, Violin, Flute, Clarinet, Guitar, Trumpet, Piano, Bassoon, Violin, Horn, and Bass.

I got two back that I dropped and one of the houses I loved dropped me but I wasn't really upset because I still had a full schedule and still had some really amazing houses.

more to come soon!

More please!!!

RECRUITMENT 2009:
Part 2-

So it's Philanthropy Day, and equipped with my full schedule I went off to my houses. Philanthropy is a huge interest for me so the different philanthropies that the sororities had really made an impact on my decisions for computers. Flute, Clarinet, Guitar, Trumpet, Xylophone, and Bass all had great philanthropies that really hit home for me and caught my attention. I remember distinctly that Flute and Clarinet's videos made me cry because the stories were so beautiful. However, others like Violin and horn just completely turned me off due to awkward conversations with some of the girls =\ such a shame. Come computer time I knew which four to drop next;
Horn, Violin, Clarinet (even though their philanthropy was amazing I just didn't see myself there..) and Snare.

The next morning we met our Rho Gamma as usual, and again we went one by one to hear our schedules. I returned with;
Flute, Guitar, Piano, Bassoon, and Horn.

Of course I was devastated only having 5 of 7 houses back that day but I still had three houses that I absolutely loved (It just seemed like I couldn't get rid of Piano and Horn!) So of course I went to all of their skits and as soon as I walked out of Flute I knew it was my home. I belonged there and had many friends in the chapter and just instantly had a feeling of love and belonging (I was also a legacy at this chapter). At guitar, I also felt at home but it wasn't as strong a feeling as Flute (also a legacy at this chapter). I also enjoyed Bassoon but again, I felt like I already found a home. So later that night at computers I dropped;
Horn and Piano

Here's where the heartbreaking part comes.. be prepared.

So that morning I woke up feeling awful. My head hurt, my throat hurt, I feel sick to my stomach, but I felt like I needed to keep on with recruitment (I would later find out that I had caught the swine flu virus). That morning as I was getting dressed for pref day, my mother received a call from one of her alum friends in Flute... they dropped me (I know it's like against the rules or something but they really felt that I should be prepared before going to campus and finding out from my Rho Gam..) I was so heartbroken I sat there and cried and cried and cried. I couldn't understand what went wrong. I had such great conversations with the girls and I felt so at home there..I decided to go to campus that day to atleast find out my other houses (I still really liked the other two I didn't drop so I was hoping to get those back). I get there and am the first to find out my schedule..
Piano and Horn.

WHAT?! Only two houses?? And the two houses I've been trying to drop ALL WEEK? I bawled my eyes out.. my Rho Gam felt so bad for me.. she wanted me to go to those two parties but honestly I was so upset (and felt sick to my stomach) so I dropped out of recruitment.. totally heartbroken and disgusted with how it ended. I was extended a few COB's during spring rush but I decided that I wanted to maximize my choices and so here goes fall recruitment round 2... 2010 chronicles.

Love this!!

Me too! More, more, more!!!

yay for an fsu story!!

I'm excited to hear about round two... I pledged after doing it twice and sometimes you need the second time around to get it right! ;)

I'm sorry it was a year ago and I know I had a reason for not cutting them philanthropy round (though I did cut them the previous round and got them back) but for the life of me I can't remember it right now lol. Anyway Recruitment 2010 parts 1 and 2 are coming tomorrow so stay tuned! The next round gets a bit more interesting :)

I'm surprised no one has commented about the title yet. Perhaps after the OP finishes her story...

Wait, I'm a little dense . . . what comment about the title? Clearly, it has a good ending.

Did this thread change its name or did VP post the same post in two threads? There was one that was "Big and Easy" or "Big and Fast" or something...

Oh it's a good ending I promise. I just thought I should recap both experiences so that girls can see that even if your first year of rush didn't go as you hoped the second time can have a really great ending!

RECRUITMENT 2010:
Part 1-

So this year in recruitment I was very wary.. after what happened to me last year I didn't think I could go through that kind of heartbreak again so I went in with a very different attitude. At first I was skeptical, always guarding myself so I wouldn't "fall in love" with any houses until prefs got closer. However this year, we had one more house on campus to choose from so I always thought about that from the beginning. On the first day we meet with our Rho Gamma groups and I instantly made friends with a few girls. We had 5 parties the first day, and 11 the next day. Talk about torture.. if you've ever been through recruitment you know what I'm talking about. It's hot and sticky, you have to wait around for like 20 minutes outside of the houses, your schedule makes you walk from one end of campus to the other. I was thinking oh god what have I gotten myself into? But here's where it gets interesting.

Remember how I said I totally disliked Horn and Piano last year? Well this year they completely blew me away. I mean I honestly was kicking myself in the butt for not going to those pref parties.. but I decided I needed to go through the process and see how much more differently I would view the houses. Last year I remember liking Harp alot as well but this year the conversation I had with the girl was completely awkward and I left the house understanding that a pledge class can change a whole perspective on a sorority and just because I loved them last year did not mean that I would love them again. Remember Flute? The ones I got heartbroken over? Well same thing happened there.. part of it was bitterness but part of it was I just couldn't relate to any of the girls rushing me. So this first round I ranked;

Flute, Violin, Cello, and Trombone.

We wake up the next morning to meet our Rho Gams and I felt just sick to my stomach.. since I was going through as a sophomore and my GPA was just barely up to par I was expecting most houses to drop me.. so my schedule read:
Horn
Bassoon
Clarinet
Snare
Flute
Guitar
Cello
Bass
Xylophone
Trombone

I'm thinking to myself.. this must be a joke. Flute kept me after last year? Only 10 of 11 houses back? Piano of all houses dropped me? I just couldn't piece together the process.. to this day I still am not sure how I could go through twice and have completely different experiences for both times as far as getting asked back to certain houses.
HORN- first party of the round and they were just amazing.. such a nice group of girls, completely diverse and I already loved them. I did feel bad because I would've preffed there last year but how was I supposed to know?
BASSOON- every girl here I made an instant connection with. Their house is absolutely gorgeous and I really wanted to be there and come back again the next round.
CLARINET- I honestly didn't like them the first round.. but this round completely changed my mind. The girl I talked to seemed to really click with me and our conversation never stopped from the time I walked in the door until the time I left.
SNARE- again, I just didn't really like them this round. There were super nice girls and everything but just not my fit.
FLUTE- I couldn't believe I tried to drop them and got them back. It was very strange being back in the house.. my friends all said hello to me when I came in the house and everyone was so nice. The recruitment chair even came up and introduced herself to me. This made me even more confused.
GUITAR- I LOVED this house. Every single girl I talked to it seemed we had so much in common. Their house is beautiful, the girls are gorgeous and sweet and down to earth. The President even came up and introduced herself to me. They made me feel very special for being there.
CELLO- This house I could've done without.. I was able to drop them first round last year but it seemed this year was going to be a bit more difficult since houses are more prone to drop sophomores. They're nice girls but not my fit either.
BASS- I really liked this house. The girls are so sweet and there are even some I've known since middle school but I wasn't completely sure about them yet.
XYLOPHONE- This round I completely fell in love with this house. I couldn't put my finger on it but something just stood out in this house.. maybe it was teir service project idk.
TROMBONE- another house I didn't really find my fit in. Again, super nice girls but just not me.

So we go to computers that night and I decide to rank;
Flute, Cello, and Trombone.

the last part of the story comes later today! =D

great! donn't wait too long please. :)

again....... you didn't DROP anyone, you ranked them lower!

But carry on.... loving the story!

This story is intriguing but I don't understand why you were disappointed at having "only" 5 out of 7 invitations or "only" 10 out of 11 invitations (just talking about the numbers). Both are practically full schedules.

I think it's probably that "How did they not want me?" thing. OR when every single person next to you has a full schedule, you feel worse about your 10/11. OR the Rho Chi did NOT explain the process properly, so a PNM assumes that she will be picking the chapters, and can't figure out what's going on.

Just a guess.

Yikes... I didn't see there was another part of the story now. Okay, yeah, it doesn't make sense to be disappointed by 10/11 as a Sophomore re-rush.

I read it as she was expecting a lot less because she was a sophomore and expected that and her low GPA to work against her. Instead she got almost a full schedule and the one chapter that dropped her was one of the only two that invited her to preference the year before.

I think she's trying to emphasize her point that she never would have expected recruitment to go this way based on her experience the year before.

Good story so far...very strange the second time around..keep going please!

Horn blew you away. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

sorry, I just got out of 2 hours of keyboard hell and my humor threshhold is very low.

She used the same title in her introduction post.

Too Big Too Fast is about ScarletBlueGold's fraternity doubling its size. :)

At FSU, I don't think they explain it properly to the PNM's. Not having a full schedule is still seen as a stigma - sadly.

I think knowing she was a sophomore, she was prepared for more "drops"; however, I don't think her gpa was necessarily low, just not what it was coming in as a freshman. Many chapters here "drop" for gpa below 3.0 regardless of class. I have a feeling it was starting out her freshman year with the swine flu that may have put her in a bind to begin with - that and her first year rush experience. :/

LOL! Clever - I just got it too!

Well angels&angles is partly right. It was mostly that feeling of "Why did they not want me?" because receiving 10/11 houses means that 6 dropped me the first round and six was just kind of alot. Obviously in hindsight it seems silly but at the time I was upset.

RECRUITMENT 2010:
Part 2-

so we left off with which houses I ranked that day. The next morning was skit day and I was very excited to see all of the wonderful skits the houses had prepared. Our Rho Gam called us up one by one and my schedule was;
Horn, Cello, and Guitar

Now I was really upset. 3/7 houses? one of which I was desperately trying to drop? I sat there and pouted for a few minutes but then I realized that Guitar had been a favorite house last year and Horn was amazing and I really liked them this year. So I got over it and enjoyed my parties that day. I ended up being completely torn between Guitar and Horn, even talking to my Rho Gam about cons and pros for each but I didn't want to jinx myself for prefs (seeing as all three could drop me if they wanted to) so I put those houses in for computers and crossed my fingers, hoping for the best.

Saturday-Pref round.
I woke up so sick to my stomach.. I was waiting by the phone, dreading a call from my Rho Gam saying that I was released from recruitment. But the call never came so I got dressed and went to campus to meet up with her. I was one of the first to receive my schedule and I told her my heart was pounding and she's like "Why? You've got 3 amazing houses today!"

I was ecstatic. The two houses I really wanted, wanted me back too! So I went to the pref ceremonies that morning, still torn between Guitar and Horn. First, I had to get through Cello.
Cello- their ceremony was nice and I could tell that they had a strong sisterhood but I just really didn't see myself there.
Horn- I had loved them all week but I ended up with a girl who literally said "Ummm IDK what to talk about!" which completely ruined the ceremony for me.. but I still kept them in mind until I saw how Guitar went.
Guitar- I walked in the door and was greeted by a girl who I had spoken with earlier in the week. She and I are like twins.. same music taste, athletic taste, we just seemed to share everything in common. I walk in the room and she has me sit down and when the ceremony starts, the sisters shared some amazing stories of hard times they've been through and how they always had their sisters there to support them and I just started bawling because one of the girls' stories was very similar to something I've experienced a few years earlier. This was my home. I wanted to be there on their lawn for bid day so badly. So when I went to computers I ranked them first, although I could've been happy at Horn as well.

BID DAY! I woke up excited and nervous at the same time. Some girls from my Rho Gam group came over and we made french toast and rode to convocation together. After convocation came the moment of truth. Which houses would we end up in? I nervously awaited for my turn to open up my bid card. My Rho Gam called me up and handed me an envelope. She fumbled with the t-shirt and I accidentally saw it before I opened my card but I screamed and jumped in the air anyway!

GUITAR! YES! Finally, I'd found a home. It took two times through recruitment and alot of disapointment but getting that bid invitation was all worth it. I hope any girls out there who dropped out the first time will give it a second chance because you really will find a wonderful house and wonderful new sisters to share the rest of your college experience with.

I'm sure she meant "You may find your home" NOT that it was guaranteed?! Nothing in Recruitment is ever guaranteed as we all know.

But certainly that it was worth it for her the 2nd time around - maybe due to maturity? Idk?

I still think the actives should propose to FSU PH to adopt an upperclassmen quota like Alabama has and ICS provided computer programming for this year.

Congrats! So, who is guitar? :)

So just my brain playing tricks on me. I thought vp'd posted that post in that thread. Never mind!

Exactly. The title also implies, "You should rerush because you'll get your dream house just like I did." And FSUCasper, we (as members of GLOs) know that there are no guarantees, but not all PNMs realize that.

Every year, plenty of PNMs rerush expecting better results next time. Better results don't happen the second time unless something has changed to make them a better candidate. Better grades, more friends in chapters, leadership on campus, better conversational skills, etc.

I'd like the OP to reflect on what she thinks she did better the second time to improve her results.

that would be so helpful to other pnms.

congratulations to you!!! how wonderful. would you please tell us which sorority you are a new member of?

I am glad you got the chapter you always wanted- things worked out well for you (perhaps better than you realize given how these stories about trying again often go.)

But let me please also chime in with some thoughts for the benefit of PNMs who read this. I am especially keen to speak because you are addressing your message to those who drop out of recruitment voluntarily versus those who are dropped.

As you yourself said, you were extended COBs in the spring. You actually went through some form of rush 3 times. And then in the end you got the house you really wanted. That is rare. At least at the COB houses you were surely a very well-known entity going into fall rush- someone who had been there twice before and did not take a bid. Opinions vary, but I think it is better to rush for the first time as a sophomore than be the girl who turned down bids, or chances at bids, twice. It varies by situation of course, but I am just talking general odds for the benefit of those who may choose to take this gamble.

Consider yourself extremely fortunate. And, not knowing your chapter or being an expert on FSU, if this story played out in a very competitive recruitment environment and if guitar was a "highly sought" house- you have beaten odds 1,000s never could. At many schools, Texas and Georgia included where I have specific direct experience, your story- for all practical purposes- does not happen. And on this site, there is a lot of focus on these more competitive schools since so much guidance and planning are required.

If a PNM decides to drop out of rush and keep on rushing in the hopes of getting "that certain house" (which is the subtext of your stories whether you intend it or not), that person is playing a very dangerous game and, often times, making judgments about where they "belong" based on preconceived notions about where they should be- notions that arise either before rush when one is not savvy to the Greek environment or during rush which is an incredibly stressful time and every single conversation or 30 second experience can appear to have epic, life-altering effects.

What happened worked for you, and for those who are not successful in their first recruitment it is good for them to see a story such as yours.

But as someone already said, the best advice you can give should be more focused on what you did the second time around to get a better outcome. As the thread reads, it looks like you had the same approach both times in formal rush, and the stars somehow aligned for you at your third time at bat.

Would you consider posting more about the specifics of how you were better prepared this time? This is a rare story, but a good one. I think you could make it most valuable by focusing on how you specifically grew in the process versus talking the numbers of invites each round etc. That is the information that will help future PNMs who find themselves without options. For those who do have options, I must confess that in the vast majority of cases taking your path is not likely to work out nearly as well as it did for you.

I think one important difference in this story from many other re-recruitment stories is that the OP did not go back through for one particular sorority. She did not drop because her absolute all-time fave did not return her.

She had an unsuccessful first recruitment (and it would be nice to know about her recs, etc) but she also got sick and ended up dropping out.

Then, she went back through with a really open mind, was willing to take her chances because she wanted to be Greek, and imo, that makes a big difference.

EE-BO, I love you.

And FSUgreek, congratulations and enjoy your new sisterhood, but do realize you are very fortunate. All the best to you.:)

May I just say... you were extremely lucky this year! Rush for sophomores at FSU was extremely cut throat this year. I can speak from experience, I was released on preference day.

Congratulations on your new home, though :) I hope it everything you hoped it to be!

I definitely did not mean to imply that a bid is guaranteed. And it is much harder for upperclassmen to go through recruitment but I had atleast four other sophomores (all of whom received and accepted their bids) and two juniors (both received bids but only one accepted) in my rho gam group this year. All I meant to say is it's definitely possible, and not quite as uncommon as people think. This year FSU's upperclassmen number of pnm's was extremely high. Two of the sophomores in my group got into a house that never takes sophomores.

I think that the biggest difference for me going through again this year was that I kept an open mind. I didn't have my heart set on one house like I did last year. My best advice to girls going through next year is to not close yourself off. Be open to all possibilities. I was preparing myself to try alpha phi's rush. Oh and I'm a baby DG :)

Well said FSUGreek and congratulations! :)

Congrats to you and DELTA GAMMA!

Thank you for the additional info- and congratulations to you and Delta Gamma!

fsugreek, congratulations on delta gamma!!

can you do a bit of a comparison for us? for example:

freshman year i did not have many recs. sophomore year i made sure that i had a rec.(sometimes more than one per house) for each house.

i got involved in "x" activities on campus as a freshman and thru "123" organization i met many sorority women and developed friendships with a couple. they invited me over a couple of times for formal dinner and i got to meet more members of their sororities.

i kept up my grades and had a very competitive gpa. i made the deans list spring semester and was invited to join a freshman honorary.

i volunteered at a local charity, through which i met more sorority women.

i was more comfortable going thru recruitment a second time, because i knew what to expect.

i was careful when i went out with friends to always keep control of myself and was careful what i put up on my facebook page. i kept it classy.

these are all things that we advise girls to keep in mind, if recruitment doesn't work out for them the first time. i just wonder if you did any of these things to help your situation.