Texas A&M Recruitment...as a junior?
 

Hi everyone! I recently went through rush here at Texas A&M as a sophomore. I declined the bid I received from a sorority because it was not the sorority I wanted (I was not comfortable in the house). Since I declined on Bid Day, according to NPC rules, I am not allowed to rush for another year.

Since the next year I can rush will be my junior year, I was wondering if it is easier for juniors to rush? I have heard that juniors get "priority" over sophomores mainly because it is their last available year to rush, but I was unsure if this was true or not. I do want to rush again and hopefully this time get the sorority I want, but I don't want to make the mistake of going through again if there is no chance at all that I will get into a sorority as a junior.

Thanks and Gig Em! :)

How many groups did you have going into Pref Day this year? Did you have the maximum or just the one?

I had two groups going into Pref Night, and the maximum was three.

I'm interested to hear the answer to this, as I can't imagine your chances are very good.

So you signed your pref card listing a house you knew you weren't going to accept?

I have a very hard time believing that a junior gets "priority" over a sophomore because it's their last year to rush... the only way they would get "priority" is if there were a separate junior quota or something like that.

Your chances are slim to none. You've gone through the recruitment process at a very competitive school. You were offered a bid. Many many women didn't even make it that far. It's even more impressive because you were a sophomore.

I'd probably be going to the house you declined and see if you can still accept their offer.

This is dead-on accurate. I am sorry amperches, but at a school like A&M rushing as a sophomore is difficult as it is. Now that you are looking at rushing as a junior- especially since you are already an A&M student and have gone through recruitment plus turned down a bid, in all honesty I do not see prospects for you in rush next year. You never know, but if you are asking the odds based on what info you have given us, they are not good at all.

If you really want to give sorority life a chance, doing what DubaiSis suggests is the only chance I can see at this point- and even then that is not necessarily going to be easy.

Why were you uncomfortable in that house? Members of that house clearly saw something in you that they thought made you worth bidding. Rush can be a very overwhelming process for PNMs, and it is not uncommon for young women to not get their first choices only to be very happy later when they accept the bid they received.

If you have any interest in giving that house a chance and can generate some sincere enthusiasm about it, call the Greek Life office TODAY, say you made a mistake, were overwhelmed by the process- whatever honest excuse you can offer, and see if there is a chance of accepting that bid.

I have no idea if it will be possible at this point (it is certainly nowhere close to certain or even likely), but under these circumstances it is worth at least asking provided you are willing to give that chapter a chance.

Whoever told you juniors get priority in recruitment misled you. You had a bid in hand, which is difficult for a sophomore at A&M, and walked away because it wasn't what you wanted. That is your chance. It won't happen next year because until the sophomore quota was implemented this year, it seldom happened for sophomores. I know a number of young women in the Greek system there so this is not supposition on my part.

Many women think they must be an XYZ or nothing and learn later they were mistaken.

Maybe you can work something out with your GLO. If not, you will have to look at it as a valuable life lesson.

Is there an upperclassmen quota or what there? If there is, what classes constitute "upper"?

I rushed many years ago as a junior so I am sure somethings have changed but rushing as a junior was difficult. There was a junior quota of 3 per house, not sure if this is the case now? It wasn't too unusual for sophomores to rush but I see things have changed.

This was their first year to have an upperclassmen quota. I don't know what constitutes one, since my friend only said theirs was 7 or 8.

In past conversations, she mentioned this quota was a real possibility for TAMU because they were losing so many good sophomores in the recruitment process. I think sophomores prompted the change rather than juniors.

I was uncomfortable in the house from day one. The sister who picked me up at the door seemed uninterested in telling me about her sorority, and when I would ask questions, she would not give me a clear answer or would deviate from my question completely. Later in the week, when I went back for Pref Night, I had expressed that I had found my home elsewhere. The sister with whom I was talking told me that she thought that was wonderful and that she wasn't going to try and force her sorority on me now because I had already found a home elsewhere. She also said that many of the girls they asked back were asked back to fill quota (apparently they never fill theirs). I thought that being energetic about one's sorority and trying to gain new members was what rush was all about. The fact that the sisters I spoke with were disinterested in their sorority turned me off from it and the fact that I was asked back only to fill quota, not because they truly wanted me, both angered and hurt me. I do not want to be a part of something due to numbers. I want to be with sisters who truly want me there and really care about me as a person, not as a number.

Why again did you put them on your bid card if it was that bad?

I bet she didn't mean for you to think you were asked back just to fill quota, but was speaking more freely because you said you didn't want that sorority. You have to be open enough to look past a couple of rushers who are a little inept. Remember, they're just 18-22 year old women, not professionals.

Regardless, you've learned your lesson. If you knew on pref night you had no intention whatsoever of pledging that sorority, you should have single preferenced. I don't usually encourage that, but if you know you will turn down a bid to another sorority, why risk binding yourself for a year? And once you have gotten a bid and will be prevented from rushing for a year, why not give it a try? You could always have de-pledged before initiation, but you might have found that the chapter is a great fit, just not good at recruitment. It sounds like alums and students from your school are telling you too bad. If you want to go through recruitment again, do it, but take their advice into account and know your chances are slim.

If a rushee straight up said to me "I've found my home elsewhere" before pref even STARTED I wouldn't be too excited about talking to her either and I probably would vent out anything else I was feeling.

Did the "home" you found (I'm assuming the other group you went to pref at) promise you a bid outright? If so, you should report them to Panhel. At any rate, to say such a thing to another sorority unless you are standing there with the bid card in your hand is a HUGE NO NO.

You don't know why they asked you back. And even if she said it was numbers, you were still asked back over other girls who could have been invited. They still wanted you.
Also, I don't think it's right to say the woman who preffed you was disinterested in her sorority. If a pnm came in at pref and told me she had "found a home elsewhere" and was not interested in my chapter, I probably wouldn't try too hard to convince her otherwise.

It wasn't that the sister I spoke to on Pref Night was the only one who seemed disinterested, the sister who picked me up the first day was the exact same way.

I was not promised a bid from any house ever. There was always the "hopefully we see you tomorrow!" said but never anything that gave me false hope about being invited back.

And I talked to my RG about what I should do in regards to my options for Pref Night and she advised me to not suicide, but rather list all my options (which was what I did-now I wish I had suicided).

I'm still confused about why you would put this house that was so horrible (whether that's fair or not, it's what you think) on your card at all.

Then why would you say "I've already found a home elsewhere?"

And it was 2 sisters (out of however many) who seemed disinterested? And for one of them, that was after you basically said "I'm just here for the food"?

Just trying to understand.

It really upsets me when a girl does not accept her bid. That means that another girl who really wanted to be in XYZ is not there and you are in her place. I understand not suiciding but if you absolutely know you would not accept a bid to a group that wants you then perhaps it would be best to sit in your room alone drowning in your tears than to cause others to be effected including the chapter who was looking forward to greeting you on bid day as a new sister.

If she declined her bid, I do believe that leaves it open for snap bidding. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong.

It's not that they can't snap bid. The girls can fill to quota. It's just the principle that this girl took a spot from someone. Lucky for the snap bid girl I guess but still...

But... then she's not taking it from anyone. Pledging then dropping out before initiation would be taking it from someone.

I mean, I guess had she never put them on her pref card at all then it *might* have changed the way the cards fell in terms of who got bids to where but that's a big "might" since we don't know the order of the bid lists or who got what where anyhow.

See I never understood rejecting a bid on bid day. If you are stuck anyway for a year, why not try out the organization for a little bit?

But again, a couple of bad rushers does not a bad chapter make. Not to mention, you told the active on Pref that you weren't interested in her house. How interested in rushing you was she supposed to be?

I'm working on the assumption that you knew before you signed the card that if you got a bid but did not accept it you would be bound for one year. So despite what your RG said, I don't understand listing the chapter you knew you wouldn't accept a bid from. I was advised not to suicide as a freshman PNM, but did so anyway because (at the time) I thought I would ONLY be happy in my chapter and was willing to risk not getting a bid rather than getting a bid from my second choice and being bound for a year. If you know, don't list.

While it's possible to snap after someone declines, it's better if you can do so before the bids are handed out, or before bid day activities start so that the snapped member doesn't feel apart from her pledge class.

She got the bid, and then declined and though that chapter could bid to quota/total still, they thought they were offering a bid to someone who wanted them.
It's not always a matter of logic.

If the chapter is having as much trouble w/ numbers as the OP says then whether she "took" a spot is most likely a moot point. There are plenty of spots beyond quota and up to total to fill.

And if the chapter has to give out bids/a girl has to accept a bid the weekend or any other time after bid day? Sorry but boo freaking hoo. Trust me, you're not going to be wandering around with paper bags on your feet when you're 50 saying "I could have had a great life if I'd only gone to bid day!!" What you get out of it over the years is the important thing.

Because then everyone will see you walking around as an XYZ pledge and get that image in their mind. I honestly think T A & M is big enough for that to not be an issue, but I could be wrong.

Oh, and 3 words: nonrefundable pledge fee. These are on the steep side sometimes.

She should have suicided, but she didn't. End of story.

Thank you for clarifying. I know my way around the Texas system in general terms, but as a fraternity guy I am not intimately familiar with all of the minutiae of sorority rush. So on that score, I have to defer to the sorority members who have posted on the specifics of preffing/suiciding and what might have been best. You have heard from some of the best and most experienced posters on greekchat.

And to reiterate a key point I can speak to- if the chapter was trying to meet quota and had not, amperches did not cost anyone else a bid by going all the way through and declining what was offered.

In a more general sense without getting into the specifics, once you found yourself in the spot of getting this bid and no other- I appreciate and understand your reaction. No matter what you might have said during parties, it hardly is going to make you enthusiastic to feel like the sorority you rushed is just trying to fill quota.

I am sorry it did not work out for you, and however you got there- for what it is worth I totally understand why you declined your bid. This is one of those cases where- based on what you have posted- it makes very good sense to say no and move on.

As for the future, you seem a very sensible person to me. You now know that it is going to be very hard to rush as a junior, and so I say have a great sophomore year and see how you feel come next summer. As calm and considered as you have been in your posts here, I get the feeling that you will make a wise decision and be just fine with whatever path evolves.

Essentially, you're used goods if you end up leaving. Susie Q pledged XYZ and dropped, do we really want her in ABC? At huge schools this might not be as noticeable, but if you're the only person who does this then you'll probably stand out. Even if you dropped for the best reasons, there is still doubt about the person.

Additionally to the OP, if you didn't get the house you wanted as a sophomore, what makes you think you'll be selected the next time around?

This is a key point. No way am I gonna tell it here, but at Texas in my day there was a choice series of events with someone who dropped during pledgeship and went somewhere else the next year. What happened gave a lesson for years to come in the perils of picking up a pledge who dropped out during pledgeship at another chapter.

Neither is an ideal option, but generally I think a second time rushee is FAR better off having dropped out of rush than having quit during pledgeship.

I am not sure if this is still the case but when I went through rush you could suicide but if you did not get your choice chapter then you were not allowed to snap bid to another chapter (you had to wait 1 calender year before being able to be free to rush again). Basically it seemed like they tried to punish you for suiciding. I had some friends that did suicide and luckily they ended up with their #1 choice. I rushed with several of my friends and being juniors -it was our last chance to join.

FWIW I don't know how pledging then dropping would effect chances on that campus but on mine it didn't seem to be a big deal. I can think of several people who did just that, though I don't know that any were juniors.

It's not that I think i'll have better results this time, but I know I'll be better prepared and know what to expect. I do expect to have to work harder, but hopefully the harder I work, the more it will end up paying off.

Also, I know I was not the only girl to drop out on Bid Day. I understand that I have to wait another year now, but during this year, I hope to focus more on school and other extracurriculars.

The only way that's going to happen is you becoming Paris Hilton, or someone similar. Sorry, darlin', but your time has passed like a carton of eggs few days after the expiration date. (No umbrage extended.)

No, the other way is for recruitment numbers to go in the tank, AND during this year she makes close friends with, say, 15 sorority women who are in the right houses. Then she would stand A CHANCE. However, with recruitment trends in the south as they have been lately, I don't see that as an actual chance.

And god forbid this struggling chapter does a drastic improvement this year and becomes a contender. And don't think it can't happen. There are a lot of girls who had to make cuts early in recruitment who might be more than willing to COR the bad house because they know that more than likely this is their only chance because they're freshmen and sophomores have virtually no chance there.

Find a better person than Paris Hilton - being busted for cocaine posession is not an attractive quality in a PNM.

But...but...it wasn't hers...someone just put it there. Wah.:rolleyes:

Sadly, I bet she'd get a bid somewhere because she's famous but god almighty I can't imagine what a risk management issue she'd be.

Question for the GC experts....
 

My daughter just finished recruitment, successfully.

She enjoyed the recruitment process but in the end called me in tears saying she felt forced to suicide. She never thought she would be faced with this decision, it was a tough decision for her to make.

She cut one house all three rounds and still ended up being invited to their pref party. If this house had not been on her pref list she would have "maximized her options", but she really felt she was not a match for this one group.

I understand this is a mutual selection process, but cutting a house 3 times and still having them show up on pref night does not make it feel very mutual to the PNM.

Could the process maybe be modified so that if a PNM cut a house 3 rounds they don't have the option of inviting her to pref. My daughter lived through the suicide process but had she not gotten her bid she would have eliminated her options for snap bids, COB etc.

I am new to Greek Life in general so I could be misunderstanding the process - interested in the opinions of those that have more experience.

Thanks.