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-   -   HOW TO HELP A FRIEND??? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=115462)

blondie_babe 08-18-2010 09:55 PM

HOW TO HELP A FRIEND???
 
My friend went through fraternity recruitment and was very well liked by the different fraternities and was given his top picks. He went to a fraternity that I knew would bite him in the ass. It takes thick skin to join this frat. They are the athletic, cute, rich boys. Even if he was fitting in this was the frat that is more about social life, the right sorority girl, and being popular than brotherhood. Sure enough he ended up quitting after a brother backstabbed him out of jealousy. I was really proud of him for getting a bid because he is from here but had moved out of state for years. My problem is how to convince him that maybe it just wasn't meant for him. He tried to join the other frats that he had friends in and had initially wanted him but things were just awkward and deep down something didn't fit with him and them. It's hard to explain how you can be friends with someone but yet that you don't fit the image? He is really upset over how member's of the frats have said _______only got in bc of his 4.0 and nobody likes him. My friend agrees well that's not good for ___ but atleast he is in one. Another guy he is friends with went to school with a lot of his frat brothers and were never friends so it's like why can that dude join and not him?? It's hard for him because on paper everything is great, many family members who have been Greek (none chapters left on campus) but still a point to mention. I am having trouble helping him because I don't know how to explain that a homosexual latino was accepted into a top tier or a boy who was 1st in his family to go to college but not my friend. All I can tell him if you are friends with guys in it then that's the point not exactly being part of the fat. This is a competative school so I am thinking if he went back to where he lived maybe that would help? I am not trying to be rude but I know that many guys get in because they knew members for a long time. It just seems like bad luck for my friend and I feel bad for him when nobody I have ever known has been rejected from finding a place to fit in. Thanks for the advise if it isn't "oh go cry a river".

blondie_babe 08-18-2010 09:59 PM

Just to be completly forward I think it is Karma. He had a chance to join some great frats but didn't because at the moment it was a "bad year". We all know frat popularity changes with each pledge class but what can you tell a freshman caught up on hype? He could be in a fraternity that would build the right college values but he passed because of now graduated popular opinions. Either if he deserved the Karma it still sucks he is missing out on so much in college!

Psi U MC Vito 08-18-2010 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971327)
My friend went through fraternity recruitment and was very well liked by the different fraternities and was given his top picks. He went to a fraternity that I knew would bite him in the ass. It takes thick skin to join this frat. They are the athletic, cute, rich boys. Even if he was fitting in this was the frat that is more about social life, the right sorority girl, and being popular than brotherhood. Sure enough he ended up quitting after a brother backstabbed him out of jealousy. I was really proud of him for getting a bid because he is from here but had moved out of state for years. My problem is how to convince him that maybe it just wasn't meant for him. He tried to join the other frats that he had friends in and had initially wanted him but things were just awkward and deep down something didn't fit with him and them. It's hard to explain how you can be friends with someone but yet that you don't fit the image? He is really upset over how member's of the frats have said _______only got in bc of his 4.0 and nobody likes him. My friend agrees well that's not good for ___ but atleast he is in one. Another guy he is friends with went to school with a lot of his frat brothers and were never friends so it's like why can that dude join and not him?? It's hard for him because on paper everything is great, many family members who have been Greek (none chapters left on campus) but still a point to mention. I am having trouble helping him because I don't know how to explain that a homosexual latino was accepted into a top tier or a boy who was 1st in his family to go to college but not my friend. All I can tell him if you are friends with guys in it then that's the point not exactly being part of the fat. This is a competative school so I am thinking if he went back to where he lived maybe that would help? I am not trying to be rude but I know that many guys get in because they knew members for a long time. It just seems like bad luck for my friend and I feel bad for him when nobody I have ever known has been rejected from finding a place to fit in. Thanks for the advise if it isn't "oh go cry a river".

Scratches head. Ok I'm having trouble understanding what you are trying to say.

Drolefille 08-18-2010 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971327)
My friend went through fraternity recruitment and was very well liked by the different fraternities and was given his top picks.

Good
Quote:

He went to a fraternity that I knew would bite him in the ass. It takes thick skin to join this frat.
Bad.
Quote:

They are the athletic, cute, rich boys.
Boring.

Quote:

Even if he was fitting in this was the frat that is more about social life, the right sorority girl, and being popular than brotherhood. Sure enough he ended up quitting after a brother backstabbed him out of jealousy.
Bad.
Quote:

I was really proud of him for getting a bid because he is from here but had moved out of state for years. My problem is how to convince him that maybe it just wasn't meant for him.
Why?
Quote:

He tried to join the other frats that he had friends in and had initially wanted him but things were just awkward and deep down something didn't fit with him and them. It's hard to explain how you can be friends with someone but yet that you don't fit the image?
No?

Quote:

He is really upset over how member's of the frats have said _______only got in bc of his 4.0 and nobody likes him. My friend agrees well that's not good for ___ but atleast he is in one.
Bitter. :(

Quote:

Another guy he is friends with went to school with a lot of his frat brothers and were never friends so it's like why can that dude join and not him??
Because.
Quote:

It's hard for him because on paper everything is great, many family members who have been Greek (none chapters left on campus) but still a point to mention.
So?
Quote:

I am having trouble helping him because I don't know how to explain
Obvious.
Quote:

that a homosexual latino
Really? D<
Quote:

was accepted into a top tier or a boy who was 1st in his family to go to college but not my friend.
Bitter.
Quote:

All I can tell him if you are friends with guys in it then that's the point not exactly being part of the fat.
Typo :p
Quote:

This is a competitive school so I am thinking if he went back to where he lived maybe that would help?
Why?
Quote:

I am not trying to be rude but I know that many guys get in because they knew members for a long time.
*sigh*
Quote:

It just seems like bad luck for my friend and I feel bad for him when nobody I have ever known has been rejected from finding a place to fit in.
Lies.

Quote:

Thanks for the advise if it isn't "oh go cry a river".
Oh go cry a river.

blondie_babe 08-18-2010 10:07 PM

How do I make him feel better? I see no reason for someone to not find atleast 1 place to be and so it boils down to he has this huge regret for going one place and it not working out. I don't have the answers for how a homosexual or a guy who gets in bc he has a 4.0 and yet my friend can't be part of something. Like my friend does checks and balances. It isn't like there are openly things against him like say going to a conservative school and being homosexual and still joining a top tier frat.

Drolefille 08-18-2010 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971331)
Just to be completly forward I think it is Karma. He had a chance to join some great frats but didn't because at the moment it was a "bad year". We all know frat popularity changes with each pledge class but what can you tell a freshman caught up on hype? He could be in a fraternity that would build the right college values but he passed because of now graduated popular opinions. Either if he deserved the Karma it still sucks he is missing out on so much in college!

Fail.

Drolefille 08-18-2010 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971337)
How do I make him feel better? I see no reason for someone to not find atleast 1 place to be and so it boils down to he has this huge regret for going one place and it not working out. I don't have the answers for how a homosexual or a guy who gets in bc he has a 4.0 and yet my friend can't be part of something. Like my friend does checks and balances. It isn't like there are openly things against him like say going to a conservative school and being homosexual and still joining a top tier frat.

You're both losers who think being gay is a bad thing.

Also you say "homosexual" a lot.

blondie_babe 08-18-2010 10:10 PM

I would be bitter also if my friend had a friend who was accepted into a frat with guys he knew a long time and they didn't like him but they were all close with my friend. That kind of stuff doesn't add up.

Maybe I make it confusing. My friend is guy A who is close with guys B but guy C went to school with guys B and they weren't friends. Guy C and guys B are now frat brothers but not my friend who has close family ties to them.

blondie_babe 08-18-2010 10:12 PM

Don't try to play like everyday in a southern state does a gay minority get into a heavily ranked frat. I don't care how you feel on homsexuality but around here it isn't common or something accepted and I am fine with my deep rooted Sunday revivials. Therefore this makes my friend in a very heterocentric society feel less of a person.

ladygreek 08-18-2010 10:14 PM

Drolefille, I am so glad you undertood the poster, because I got lost in the essay.

ree-Xi 08-18-2010 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971327)
My friend went through fraternity recruitment and was very well liked by the different fraternities and was given his top picks. He went to a fraternity that I knew would bite him in the ass. It takes thick skin to join this frat. They are the athletic, cute, rich boys. Even if he was fitting in this was the frat that is more about social life, the right sorority girl, and being popular than brotherhood. Sure enough he ended up quitting after a brother backstabbed him out of jealousy. I was really proud of him for getting a bid because he is from here but had moved out of state for years. My problem is how to convince him that maybe it just wasn't meant for him. He tried to join the other frats that he had friends in and had initially wanted him but things were just awkward and deep down something didn't fit with him and them. It's hard to explain how you can be friends with someone but yet that you don't fit the image? He is really upset over how member's of the frats have said _______only got in bc of his 4.0 and nobody likes him. My friend agrees well that's not good for ___ but atleast he is in one. Another guy he is friends with went to school with a lot of his frat brothers and were never friends so it's like why can that dude join and not him?? It's hard for him because on paper everything is great, many family members who have been Greek (none chapters left on campus) but still a point to mention. I am having trouble helping him because I don't know how to explain that a homosexual latino was accepted into a top tier or a boy who was 1st in his family to go to college but not my friend. All I can tell him if you are friends with guys in it then that's the point not exactly being part of the fat. This is a competative school so I am thinking if he went back to where he lived maybe that would help? I am not trying to be rude but I know that many guys get in because they knew members for a long time. It just seems like bad luck for my friend and I feel bad for him when nobody I have ever known has been rejected from finding a place to fit in. Thanks for the advise if it isn't "oh go cry a river".

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971331)
Just to be completly forward I think it is Karma. He had a chance to join some great frats but didn't because at the moment it was a "bad year". We all know frat popularity changes with each pledge class but what can you tell a freshman caught up on hype? He could be in a fraternity that would build the right college values but he passed because of now graduated popular opinions. Either if he deserved the Karma it still sucks he is missing out on so much in college!

It's taking a lot not to comment on your writing skills and stay on topic, and I won't, but I'm not sure what you are asking us. There is nothing that you can do for a dude who chose the "wrong" fraternity, got in a spat with a brother and then quit. Honestly, it sounds like you're actually the guy, pretending you are a concerned female friend.

As for you blatant racist and prejudiced remarks, I'm dumbfounded. In your mind, being Latino, homosexual, the first in one's family to go to college, or the first in one's family to go Greek makes someone less worthy of brotherhood. I know that there are still too many people who think that "their kind" is supreme over all others, and that only the privileged/white/local people from highly educated and history in the Greek system deserve to be in a fraternity (and I'm guessing sorority), but do you have to say it out loud here?

You make me sick.

Drolefille 08-18-2010 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971341)
I would be bitter also if my friend had a friend who was accepted into a frat with guys he knew a long time and they didn't like him but they were all close with my friend. That kind of stuff doesn't add up.

Maybe I make it confusing. My friend is guy A who is close with guys B but guy C went to school with guys B and they weren't friends. Guy C and guys B are now frat brothers but not my friend who has close family ties to them.

Your friend joined a fraternity and dropped out. He then tried to join others and didn't get in.

"Your friend" sounds like he's already been told he's not going to fit in and isn't listening.

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971344)
Don't try to play like everyday in a southern state does a gay minority get into a heavily ranked frat. I don't care how you feel on homsexuality but around here it isn't common or something accepted and I am fine with my deep rooted Sunday revivials. Therefore this makes my friend in a very heterocentric society feel less of a person.

He feels like less of a person because a gay guy was picked over him? Yeah the fraternities are missing out on a really class act. That means your friend has issues, not the "southern Sunday revival fraternities" for choosing a "gay minority" :rolleyes:

Drolefille 08-18-2010 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladygreek (Post 1971347)
Drolefille, I am so glad you undertood the poster, because I got lost in the essay.

For a limited definition of "understood."

But it's what i do. ;)

blondie_babe 08-18-2010 10:24 PM

It is just complicated. He has that seemingly common attitude of legacies. He is nothing unless he is as great as his family syndrome. Just to add to his long list of problems being the only non-greek is like another failure. I really do feel bad for him because it just seems unfair to have so many struggles.

ree-Xi 08-18-2010 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971337)
How do I make him feel better?

>> You can't. He needs to be a man and figure out other ways (or other fraternities to rush) to make himself happy.

I see no reason for someone to not find atleast 1 place to be and so it boils down to he has this huge regret for going one place and it not working out. I don't have the answers for how a homosexual or a guy who gets in bc he has a 4.0 and yet my friend can't be part of something.

>> He was. He quit. Maybe the homosexual Latino who is first in his family to go to college and join a fraternity came across as a better potential brother than your friend with a 4.0.

Like my friend does checks and balances. It isn't like there are openly things against him like say going to a conservative school and being homosexual and still joining a top tier frat.

>> Maybe he's boring? Not fun? Not friendly? Maybe he's a douche.

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971341)
I would be bitter also if my friend had a friend who was accepted into a frat with guys he knew a long time and they didn't like him but they were all close with my friend. That kind of stuff doesn't add up.

>> You're not making a lot of sense.

Maybe I make it confusing. My friend is guy A who is close with guys B but guy C went to school with guys B and they weren't friends. Guy C and guys B are now frat brothers but not my friend who has close family ties to them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971344)
Don't try to play like everyday in a southern state does a gay minority get into a heavily ranked frat. I don't care how you feel on homsexuality but around here it isn't common or something accepted and I am fine with my deep rooted Sunday revivials. Therefore this makes my friend in a very heterocentric society feel less of a person.

>> Have fun at your revivals pretending to be a good person when you treat your fellow human beings like shit because they are different than you. Maybe not to their faces - but behind their backs, which in my mind, is hypocritical. Don't hide behind a history of ignorance and intolerance, and especially not your religion. The boys in the "top tier frat" thought enough of the poor gay Latino without pedigree papers to pledge him.

:mad:

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971357)
It is just complicated. He has that seemingly common attitude of legacies. He is nothing unless he is as great as his family syndrome. Just to add to his long list of problems being the only non-greek is like another failure. I really do feel bad for him because it just seems unfair to have so many struggles.

Laughing my freaking ass off. Not being Greek is not a struggle. Oh, you ignorant child. Bless your empty heart.

blondie_babe 08-18-2010 10:29 PM

I am glad you never feel bad about yourself when someone else gets something and you don't. Maybe he needs your confidence to not feel beneath others when they succeed. The reason he quit wasn't his fault that other person did something really hurtful. He tried to go back to other bids he had gotten and they did invite him back but it just was weird and I understand that. The thing is he was given the bid he wanted by a top frat which is something to be proud of but then it went South. He has friends in the "smart" frat and whatever others but he just didn't belong as a brother. How can someone not belong? If every frat has some not so cool guys why can't he make it? I have never met a girl to have these issues. WE fit in and find a house.

Drolefille 08-18-2010 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971357)
It is just complicated. He has that seemingly common attitude of legacies. He is nothing unless he is as great as his family syndrome. Just to add to his long list of problems being the only non-greek is like another failure. I really do feel bad for him because it just seems unfair to have so many struggles.

Yes. His life sounds so hard.

I hope one day he can work himself up out of the gutter, lift himself by his bootstraps and move on from this tragedy.

Stop trying to "fix" him.

blondie_babe 08-18-2010 10:31 PM

My friend didn't have a 4.0. A friend of his did and was accepted into a frat which my friend was very close with. 4.0 guy went to school with the others and they didn't like him but he was accepted and not my friend? That is the stuff my friend struggles with being friends but not given a chance.

Drolefille 08-18-2010 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971366)
I am glad you never feel bad about yourself when someone else gets something and you don't. Maybe he needs your confidence to not feel beneath others when they succeed. The reason he quit wasn't his fault that other person did something really hurtful. He tried to go back to other bids he had gotten and they did invite him back but it just was weird and I understand that. The thing is he was given the bid he wanted by a top frat which is something to be proud of but then it went South. He has friends in the "smart" frat and whatever others but he just didn't belong as a brother. How can someone not belong? If every frat has some not so cool guys why can't he make it? I have never met a girl to have these issues. WE fit in and find a house.

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:


it makes me stop after so many.

JohnnyCash 08-18-2010 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971357)
It is just complicated. He has that seemingly common attitude of legacies. He is nothing unless he is as great as his family syndrome. Just to add to his long list of problems being the only non-greek is like another failure. I really do feel bad for him because it just seems unfair to have so many struggles.

Well it sounds like your friend is shit outta luck. If you're from a competitive Southern system then you should also know that those top chapters are probably very reluctant to take XYZ's "leftovers" even if HE dropped them and not the other way around.

He should try a "lower tier" chapter if he really wants to go Greek that badly.

Or he could quit being a bitch and get over it.

Also, quit with the run-on sentences.

ree-Xi 08-18-2010 10:34 PM

I smell troll. Is anyone this ignorant?

blondie_babe 08-18-2010 10:45 PM

I am very open to posting his former chapter at UNC. I am very open to list the homosexual because I know him and the others mentioned. Don't think I am above posting very personal information to prove my point. There is another post thread about Texas and how a miniority doesn't have a high chance to get in. Why act like it is common in this thread when you didn't bitch at people who comment daily and said it wasn't? If you are a white guy and are rejected for a homosexual miniority in the South it is a big deal and not common. That makes him feel bad and I get it. Whether it is right or wrong it is the way society works.

JohnnyCash 08-18-2010 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971396)
I am very open to posting his former chapter at UNC. I am very open to list the homosexual because I know him and the others mentioned. Don't think I am above posting very personal information to prove my point. There is another post thread about Texas and how a miniority doesn't have a high chance to get in. Why act like it is common in this thread when you didn't bitch at people who comment daily and said it wasn't? If you are a white guy and are rejected for a homosexual miniority in the South it is a big deal and not common. That makes him feel bad and I get it. Whether it is right or wrong it is the way society works.

That would be messed up lol.

Drolefille 08-18-2010 11:10 PM

Ok. I officially call Perpberry.

knight_shadow 08-18-2010 11:11 PM

Come on, y'all. Perpberry/mustang strikes again.

The underscore didn't give it away?

ree-Xi 08-18-2010 11:13 PM

I can go to bed now. Even if it's a hoax, the person writing it has the ugliest soul I've seen here in a while. Good night, all!

Drolefille 08-18-2010 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow (Post 1971426)
Come on, y'all. Perpberry/mustang strikes again.

The underscore didn't give it away?

I'm THIS close to 10k posts though.

preciousjeni 08-19-2010 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille (Post 1971340)
You're both losers who think being gay is a bad thing.

Also you say "homosexual" a lot.

I got as far as this post and lost it. LOL! Lemme catch my breath. Hang on...

Psi U MC Vito 08-19-2010 01:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille (Post 1971340)
Also you say "homosexual" a lot.

Probably trying to avoid sounding bigoted by using the scientific term. It fails horrible btw.

Drolefille 08-19-2010 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito (Post 1971485)
Probably trying to avoid sounding bigoted by using the scientific term. It fails horrible btw.

Particularly when it's pretty much only a clinical/scientific term now. Varies by region of course, but for the most part I've seen a push against using the word for anything.

MysticCat 08-19-2010 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971341)
Maybe I make it confusing.

And maybe the sky is dark at night.

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971344)
Don't try to play like everyday in a southern state does a gay minority get into a heavily ranked frat.

Oh boy. Another embarrassment to the rest of us Southerners.

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie_babe (Post 1971396)
I am very open to posting his former chapter at UNC.

Yeah, UNC is such an intolerant university.

Quote:

I am very open to list the homosexual because I know him and the others mentioned. Don't think I am above posting very personal information to prove my point.
You have a point?

Yep. Clearly the return of a troll.

agzg 08-19-2010 10:03 AM

LOL your "friend" is probably a douchebag.

Nice to see you perping UNC instead of Penn State, though, Perpberry. Which GLO are you going to perp this time?

Lightning Bug! 08-19-2010 11:25 AM

Holy crap, please tell me YOU are not a UNC-Chapel Hill student. I would be embarrassed to have you as a fellow alumna.

Your douche of a friend became Super Douche with his fraternity antics. At that point, even the douchiest fraternity at UNC wouldn't take him, and certainly if he was going around bitching about "homosexual Latinos," then he was out of the running at the more enlightened houses, like Chi Psi.

I think you and Super Douche are made for each other. Y'all should get married and have some babies to keep the "homosexual Latinos" from taking over the world. Just don't send your babies to Carolina, please.

knight_shadow 08-19-2010 11:33 AM

Why are people putting so much effort into their responses? This is perpberry, people. Sheesh.

agzg 08-19-2010 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightning Bug! (Post 1971655)
Holy crap, please tell me YOU are not a UNC-Chapel Hill student. I would be embarrassed to have you as a fellow alumna.

Your douche of a friend became Super Douche with his fraternity antics. At that point, even the douchiest fraternity at UNC wouldn't take him, and certainly if he was going around bitching about "homosexual Latinos," then he was out of the running at the more enlightened houses, like Chi Psi.

I think you and Super Douche are made for each other. Y'all should get married and have some babies to keep the "homosexual Latinos" from taking over the world. Just don't send your babies to Carolina, please.

LOL.

ThetaPrincess24 08-19-2010 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito (Post 1971332)
Scratches head. Ok I'm having trouble understanding what you are trying to say.

Me too!!

MysticCat 08-19-2010 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow (Post 1971659)
Why are people putting so much effort into their responses? This is perpberry, people. Sheesh.

The entertainment value.

knight_shadow 08-19-2010 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat (Post 1971721)
The entertainment value.

This incarnation isn't even entertaining :o

MysticCat 08-19-2010 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow (Post 1971722)
This incarnation isn't even entertaining :o

That's why it falls to the rest of us to try and infuse some entertainment.

agzg 08-19-2010 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat (Post 1971727)
That's why it falls to the rest of us to try and infuse some entertainment.

One day, I will post a "douchetastic" post - where I will use the word "douche" in the higest ratio of "douche to regular" words that I can possibly muster. The douchecanoes on this site won't even believe my douchiosity. I'll out-douche the douche!

Today is not that day. Please stay tuned.


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