stay in or drop out?
 

I rushed in the fall, and it has been about 2 months now, and I am not so sure if I want to stay in my sorority. I enjoy the sorority, but I am not ecstatic about it. In fact, I am considering transferring because I am somewhat unhappy at my school. It is too big for me, and the emphasis is clearly on partying when I am not really into that too much. Although I have made friends in my sorority, I feel were I to transfer I wouldnt miss it too much. Next week is initiation, and I dont know what to do. I am not positive that I will be leaving, but i dont know if I should speak to someone or drop out, is it difficult to leave after initiation? Is it rude? I am really confused and saddened by this all, I admire the girls in my sorority but I dont want to be rude or offend them.

Please I'd appreciate any advice you have.
Thanks

That seems like it would be a difficult decision to make. I really don't know what to tell you. I can say that it might be harder for you to leave after you're initiated. If I were you, I'd probably talk to your pledge mom or someone you trust not to judge you or get angry with you for having second thoughts. Joining a sorority is a big decision, and it's definitely not for everyone! Hopefully everyone will understand if you do decide to leave. Good luck with whatever you decide!

I think if you that close might as well go thru with it. You are bound to meet memebers of your glo no matter where you go. I think would be more of an advantage if you became a sister.

JMUduke,

I am glad that you do enjoy your sorority. Also, your feelings about the size of your school are not uncommon for incoming Freshmen. Due to the excitment of going away to school and the newness of the experience, some Freshmen under-estimate the amount of adjustment that is between high school and college. In other words, most freshmen go through an adjustment period during their first semester of school and this is a normal part of adjusting to college.

Regarding going through initiation, life being a new member to life after initiation are two separate experiences. The new member experience tends to be an extremely intense period filled with new member meetings, social events, not to mention the stress of obtaining all the requirments for initiation. However after initiation- sorority life becomes becomes more relaxed and less stressful (of course unless you are an officier
:p) . Also, the physical make-up of chapters tend to change as new member classes are added and seniors become Alum . This in turn can add a new "chapter personality" each academic year despite the fact that the sororities ideals are timeless. My advice is if you are happy about your sorority-go through the initiation-it is a wonderful experience.

Hope this helps
happyowl

I can't say whether you should stay or go, because that is ultimately a decision you must make. But something to consider, if you drop out before you are initiated, you may, in the future, pledge again. If you become initiated, you will have to go through deactivation with your current sorority, and will not be able to join another group should you transfer or such.

Hope this helps.

Oops! :D

Did you burp or something?

No Tracy, i think Curiouss said something she knew might be incriminating... :cool:

Did you see it?

Why yes i did curiouss... what soroity did you at one time belong to? :p :cool: :D

That was dirty IHE. ;)

I don't think it will offend the girls if you decide to transfer, as long as they know that this is definitely a problem you have with JMU itself and not the sorority. A sorority can sometimes help a big school seem smaller, but just being in a sorority will not solve everything if the school itself is not a good fit for you.

Whatever your decision, keep in mind that as shadokat said, if you do initiate you will not be allowed to pledge another NPC sorority EVER. You could possibly affiliate with a chapter of your sorority at another school.

Sit down and make a pro and con list of everything about the situation - it helps sometimes to get it all out on paper. Good luck. ;)

I'm sorry to hear you don't seem to be bonding with your new sorority... :(

33girl gives good advice, as always. Once you're initiated into an NPC sorority, you're a member of that sorority for life. If you transfer, you can join a collegiate chapter at your new school if one exists, or join an alum chapter. But you can't join another NPC sorority. You could possibly join a local social sorority, and you can always join a professional and/or service GLO (if you don't already belong to one).

If I were you I'd talk to your new member educator, your big sister, maybe your chapter president, and/or any sister you're close to. Definitely give this matter a lot of thought. Joining a GLO is a big decision, and so is leaving one.

Good luck with whatever you choose. :)

You'd be surprised to know that MANY people saw it.

Mama always said....one lie always leads to another...and another. Eventually you get caught up in trying to cover up your tracks.

If you know where you are thinking about transfering you could check to see if there is a chapter of your current GLO there. If there is I would probably go ahead and be initiated. If there isn't and you want to be involved with a sorority I might depledge and rush again at your new school. Just be sure!!

Good Luck

When I first joined my sorority I wasn't quite sure where I fit in. To top it off all of my friends had left the city for different schools. So I felt like I had a double wammie!
Just remember though, you only get out of it what you put into it!
Your first semester might be a hard one to get used to. Try to make the best out of it and stick it through. By Winter Break things might have changed and you may find yourself happier than ever!
Good Luck
Hootie ;)

I can kind of feel what youre going through. I go to JMU and I thought it was big too, but after I was initiated it did seem smaller. My advice is wait it out...

Hi guys, thanks for all the advice, I appreciate it. I am going through initiation part 1 today, and I am excited, but I am also really nervous. I just don't know where I stand on the sorority, there are good times and bad times. Some of the sisters seem really sweet, but they also party hardcore. My big sister is sweet, but she's also a senior, living off campus and not really around a lot so we havent really connected at all. The other girls in my pledge class are nice of course, but they are all consumed with their own things, most are sophomores so they already have a click of friends that they spend all their time with. I always feel like the odd man out. I have the oppurtunity to live in the house next semester, but I still dont even know if I am going to stay. I just feel so overwhelmed by this school at times, and its hard when everyone I know already has their best friends here and they always are out and busy, while I spend some of my nights sitting in with my roommate watching movies....its easy to never be alone but always feel lonely.
Anyway, thanks again, I guess only time will tell, and perhaps initiation might give me a few ideas...:confused:

I think that you should live in the house next year - there is a bond formed by living in-house that's like no other. It will give you an opportunity to really get to know your other sisters.

That said - maybe it's time to take charge of your sorority destiny, so to speak. You've already made the first step, and that's going forward with initiation.

Next, take some initiative and start inviting different sisters to go out to various events. Get a group together for the pep rally, to go to the coffeehouse, to a movie, whatever. Start being your own social coordinator and before you know it, folks will invite you out more and more. Stop spending so much time at home - as the commercial says 'get out there'! The first time you call someone up it will be difficult, but it does get easier. Remember that these women wanted you around, and although they haven't shown it too well, I'm sure they still do want you around. Show them that you want to be there. Find another campus organization that has a lot of Greeks in the membership and join that group and get to know other students on campus.

Talk to your big sister - tell her how you feel. Tell you that you miss seeing her and set up a 'date' once or twice a month, just the two of you and hang out. Do the same thing with the other sisters in your 'family tree' and/or your pledge sisters.

Lastly, it sounds like you are still overwhelmed with school, etc. - maybe talking to a counselor in Student Health would help? After all, they are experts on this kind of thing and there are other students on campus that (I'm sure) are feeling the same way.

Congratulations on your upcoming initiation - I hope it is more wonderful than you can imagine!

congrats
 

you are doing the right thing.
i echo ms. penquintrax. move into the house. get to know everyone better and let them help you get to know the school better and i suspect you will fit in just fine given some time.
hang in there sweetie.
mmcat
aka marianne:cool: :p :D

Excellent advice from those who know! Living in the house is a GREAT idea.

Just wanted to add a note to mmcat. Seems like we have similar schedules!!! Your posts are always enjoyable and filled with good advice as well. I always look forward to reading them.