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Sorry that rush did not work out as you had hoped. I cannot speak with any sort of authority on Bama rush, but I would encourage you to read several of the threads on GC that deal with spring rush, disappointing rush results, re-rushing, etc.
I think you will find a lot of answers there and definitely some advice and consolation regarding your situation.

Hang in there!

Your being dropped hardly ever means that a sorority dropped YOU - just that they were limited for each round in how many they could invite back, pref, or bid, and they filled to the limit before they got to your name. So please don't beat yourself up or lose confidence in yourself. I don't know about COB at Bama or spring rush or exactly how going through fall rush again is going to work. I do know that if you throw yourself into going to class and studies and finding some way to serve the community around you, you are more likely to find your place and that may be in or out of a Greek letter organization.

I really truly understand your pain. Rejection sucks, especially at such a Greek-Dominated School.

But you weren't "not chosen by anyone". You did have one sorority left at preference. There were so many women who would have loved to have that opportunity.

On that flip side, that chapter was probably equally crushed. You may have been the rush crush of a girl in that chapter who was just as heartbroken as you.

I hope you get involved in school and wish you the best of luck.

I have to agree with the above post. There were most likely girls who were dropped by ALL the sororities long before preference night.

Let the Greek Life office know that you are interested in COB or in any sororities that might be taking girls in the spring.

There is, of course, nothing we can say to make this any easier on you.

But, not to pile on or anything, I did speak with a PNM from your school yesterday who was very sad because she had been released from recruitment. She would have given anything to be invited to pref at even just one of the houses. She would have loved to take your place at pref for the house you felt you weren't right for because an invite to ANY house would have been better than feeling the truly terrible feeling she felt when she was released.

Spring recruitment is not common at Bama. Get in touch with the Greek life office and they can give you information about COB, if there is going to be any COB at all this fall. If you truly want to be Greek at Bama, your best bet would be to buckle down, work on your grades, get involved on campus, and try again next fall.

My daddy told me that it is better to be 30 and never married than being 40 and paying alimony.

The young woman who initiated this thread said that she felt that there wasn't a fit between her and the one chapter that invited her to its preference night activities. Therefore the young woman decided to withdraw from recruitment and take her chances on a future rush.

I keep reading on various threads on the GreekChat forums that joining a sorority is a lifetime commitment. It is also a major financial commitment.

If the young woman in question realized that she felt no connection between her self and the sorority and decided to withdraw, I for one think she did a wise thing. How many postings are there concerning an unhappy pledge disrupting the equilibrium of a house because she didn't want to be in that house in the first place?

You say that there were other young women would have taken an invitation to that house, to any house in fact. Do such young women want to be members of that sorority or do they want two or three Greek letters on a sweatshirt?

I know women who married for the sake of being married. They didn't love the men they married. Or they married an addict, an abuser or an adulterer just so they could have a wedding, a ring and to tell the world that they are a MRS. Often these women paid a price that was more than the price of the ring, the wedding cake or the marriage license.

Whether the young woman finds her place in or out of the Greek life on her campus, I wish her only the best

Oh for crying out loud in a bucket. :rolleyes:

We were just correcting her when she said she wasn't chosen by ANYONE. Also reminding her that in a competitive system such as Alabama's, your pre-freshman rush is often your ONLY chance to be Greek. Some women are lucky and re-rush and receive bids to groups they like, but it is by no means a sure or even semi-sure thing.

If she doesn't want to be in that chapter, that's fine. But to pretty much say that a chapter wanting her didn't matter at all...that's doing to that chapter what she feels the other chapters did to her.

And I'm sure there are women who wanted to be members of THAT sorority, and also women who would take a bid from ANY sorority and make it work. I don't know if you understand the chapter sizes we're talking about but there are over 200 women in almost every chapter. To say you have absolutely nothing in common with any woman in the chapter is kind of mathematically impossible.

I'm sorry, I'd like to know how joining a chapter that is not your favorite, or even one you might not feel a connection to, in any way similar to marrying an addict, abuser, or an adulterer?

/offensive.

Those are probably the same women who wouldn't date the "nice guys" and only liked "bad boys." If they would have given the "nice guys" a chance, they would have been SO SO SO HAPPEEEEEEE!

Yeah, after my recent experience with a self-described "nice guy" who turned out to be a flaming a-hole, I didn't even want to touch that part of the post for fear of going off. Thanks for the partial diffusal.

Oh God, Nice Guy Syndrome. There's an XKCD for that.
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/friends.png

Back to the original post . . .

Remember that you probably did hurt the group that issued the pref invitation. They did want you to be at pref. Those parties are longer, much more special and give a better insight. Lots of minds changes at pref. Remember that if you go through again.

Also, get all your references, especially at a school like this.
Get involved on campus and find another niche. Sorority women belong to other groups, too, and you don't have to be Greek to be active on campus.

As the year goes on, if you still fee you don't fit anywhere, maybe you should look at your reasons for choosing your school. Is it a good fit for you? Sometimes people choose the wrong school and are happier somewhere else.

You had a bad week, and I'm sorry. Now you must move on. You will find something you enjoy and make friends.

Go read the post from Zillini on the Bama recruitment thread (right now on the last page of that thread)and then call the GA office. Many of the groups will be COBing to average chapter size.

To the op, I'm sorry you feel hurt by the process. I don't know you so I have no idea why you were cut so heavy. If you had great grades, a strong resume, and Recs, then all I can say is there were literally 100's and 100's of PNMs who had the same thing.

Dwelling on what happened won't help as you won't find anyone who can answer why. Instead I can offer you options for the future if you still wish to pursue Greek life.

Alabama has a separate Upperclassmen Quota for Recruitment. If you look in your Recruitment book you will see what the suggested GPA's are for every chapter for both Freshmen and Upperclassmen. The are listed on each chapter's individual page.

I strongly suggest that you strive for MUCH higher than that in this next year. Chapters are very competitive with their GPA standing. They want Upperclassmen who have proven able to make grades and who can help their overall GPA rank.

Next, you need to get involved in campus activities and orgs. Community services as well. Basically, your resume needs to be just as strong and CURRENT as when you were HS. Most chapters don't care what you did in HS if you haven't done anything in college. Again, they are looking for Upperclassmen who can help get their name out on campus and are involved.

Now you have to bear in mind that some chapters have a "once cut, always cut" mindset and that is regardless of the reason. I can't tell you which chapters they are because this is not something that is advertised. But the majority don't feel this way. Point being, your options may be more limited than an incoming Freshman who is going through.

Also you need to spend this next year getting to know as many Greek women as possible. Having friends in the chapters can only help come recruitment time. Keep in mind though that the Greek women will also know you or know "of" you. You need to watch the reputation you are putting out there on campus during the year.

Just keep in mind that even if you do everything listed above "right", there is still no guarantee of a bid to the chapter of your choice next year.

One other thing to keep in mind, Delta Gamma is slated to recolonize next fall. This is another option you can consider pursuing.

A good friend of mine went through recruitment at Bama a few years ago. She had a full party schedule through skit day then was dropped by all. It was devastating for her. Long story short she still loved her years there and had a very full social life and made great friends and got a great education. There are many orgs on campus that are not greek that you can become a part of. I know it is hard right now, but as school begins there will be many more people on campus and many opportunities coming your way. I feel your pain but things will get better.

Remember that even if 30% of the girls there are Greek (and I think it's actually less than that), that means 70% are NOT.
Go here: http://wow.ua.edu/
Scan the CW for clubs and groups that are meeting. Visit the campus student ministry of your choice. Go to church - LOTS of students do and there are several right next to campus.
Volunteer!
There are lots of ways to make friends at UA!

You have to understand how many women go through recruitment there and how few spots are available in comparison. There are probably many other girls just like you that had one sorority left (or none at all) by pref, and that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or them. There are so, so many reasons you might have been dropped, so don't assume it's because you weren't "good enough" or that no one liked you.

Most of my friends from high school went to either Alabama or Auburn, and I can definitely understand feeling like you HAVE to be Greek at Bama, because it seems so important. But most of those most of those were not Greek and had an awesome time regardless. It's a huge campus and 70% of women on campus aren't Greek. You'll be able to find a group, Greek or not, that is a good fit for you. Spend this semester meeting as many people as possible and finding a group of friends that you feel at home with. (And, of course, concentrating on your academics. First, because that's the real reason you're there, and second because if you are still interested in Greek life you will need good grades from your first semester.) Then if you still are interested in Greek Life next semester, call the Greek Life office and ask them for information on COBs.

Also remember that one chapter did want you at their pref party. If that wasn't the chapter for you, that's fine, but some women get dropped by everyone, and one chapter on campus was interested in you!:)

Good luck!

Not clear on whether the OP actually attended pref or dropped beforehand.

If she dropped before attending the pref party, shame on her for not giving that chapter a chance. They were the only one who gave her a chance, and if she would've given them the same courtesy perhaps she's be pretty happy right now.

No one advocates joining a group that you absolutely do not like. However, most everyone (at least everyone thinking logically...) advocates seeing recruitment through pref. A lot of things can change your mind.

And at such a competitive greek school, formal recruitment freshman year could be the PNM's only legitimate shot.

For what it's worth, these are not even mutually exclusive. You could be 30 and never married and paying alimony when you're 40.:rolleyes:

The one point I have not seen mentioned much if at all that seems to apply at both Alabama and Auburn is that inside pull is a big deal. No, it's not essential (cue Connecticut and California girls) but being THAT far away from home almost sets them apart. If you're from the state or a surrounding state, you need someone in the chapter to fight for you. Many of these girls have been visiting their junior and senior years in high school, have met active girls, gone to parties (good, bad or ugly) so rush is not their first rodeo with these girls. It becomes more and more evident to me that this is almost essential--especially with the sororities everyone seems to "want." This could explain so many high GPA/cute/active/sweet girls that get dropped. Nobody knows them enough to stand up in voting and say, "I know this girl. We HAVE to have her." Hearing, "well she was nice and cute during our skit party" doesn't stand as much ground.

^^^ What she said, especially now that they use RFM and people get cut rapidly.

nope-i think you explained a possible scenario perfectly!

I have to respond here...It is a shame you dropped out before even giving your one sorority a chance. My daughter rushed 2 years ago, got in a sorority (which being out state and know NO one was huge). Well...she came of of the stadium in tears..I MADE her go to the house..spent the afternoon talking. She went back that night...and guess what? She was the last one to leave! and since then has never looked back. I just hope that this is a lesson...Don't drop out without even giving the one who CHOSE you a chance. When everyone says its a process...it is...sorry you did not at least give them a chance to make you happy....

This is a VERY good point.

My daughter just went through Bama rush and fell through - she went to 2 pref parties and received no bid. While she was disappointed greatly, today she has already moved on. She mentioned on the phone that she actually CAN meet people without a sorority and she has lunch & dinner company for the next few days to prove it. That was her big fear - not being able to meet people and find friends.

I'm sure once school starts Wednesday, she'll meet even more people in classes & organizations. Should she choose to rush again next year, she'll be a bit more wise : )

One of the reasons why the spring preview weekend is so very important!

Total bummer that she had 2 prefs and no bids, but I think it's fantastic that she seems to be dealing well. Good for her.

I thought if you made it to pref and maximized your options you got a bid? Does that not happen at Bama?

I don't think they guarantee you a bid.

Nanners52674 - I believe that is the case. Unfortunately, she wasn't instructed about filling out her bid card with BOTH sororities and chose to put down only one. The way it has been explained to me is that since she didn't "maximize her options" and put down both sororities, she was no longer guaranteed a bid. The girls who put all the sororities from prefs on their bid cards were guaranteed - and the way that is accomplished is to put people like my daughter at the bottom of the list. So the house either hit quota or she just didn't get a bid. Sad set of circumstances : (

But there is a reason for everything. We just don't know what it is yet. Life is still good - she's at ALABAMA!!! Roll Tide!

Unless they have just changed it this year, Alabama does not guarantee a bid even if you maximize options. However, with the increase in chapter total and the use of quota additions, I believe most girls who maximized their options this year were placed. I think no extra effort (i.e quota additions) were made for those who did not maximize their options.

It is so unfortunate that my daughter did not understand that she was supposed to put both sororities she went to on pref day on her bid card.

Does that mean that she will not be eligible for COB?

Also, since she didn't maximize her options, is she just out of luck until next fall's rush?